Topic : 04/07 Will Fights

Dr. Phil:  I will be as brief as possible.  I watched todays show regarding "wills" and was quite appalled to see the bickering that these four people were going through.  The reason I say this is because their situation is so minimal compared to what our family has gone through.  If I may tell you briefly. 

 

In September of 2004 my parents entrusted my brother and oldest son to have a "life estate" drawn up for them.  My son offered the services of his attorney.  The attorney never contacted my parents but simply went through my son who assured them that once the papers were drawn up that this is what my parents wanted.  The life estate is for a lake home and property in Northern Wisconsin.  In May of 2005 my sister and I were given a copy of the life estate and it was at that time that we noticed the words "quitclaim" were part of the life estate.  Of course "quitclaiming" your property means that you have given it away.  Now we have found that this is normal wording in a "life estate".  My parents at that time requested of my brother and my son to return the deeds.  May I mention at this point that the property was divided between my brother, my oldest son and my youngest son.  Once my parents realized that this is not what they wanted my youngest son returned his paperwork back to them immediately.   My brother and oldest son will NOT return the deeds.  My parents had special paperwork drawn up by an attorney to have them sign, but once again they refused.  In September of 2005 we had a meeting with all the parties involved and at that time my parents requested my sister and I to attend.  This meeting ended up being a disaster.  The last words I heard from my son was "the next time I see you is when you'll be in your coffin". 

 

I cannot tell you what this has done to my parents.  They are now both in their 80's.  My mom being 81 and my dad being 86.  I promised them that I would do everything possible to retain them ownership of the property that they have had in their possession for over 50 years and am sorry to say that I have failed.  I  have written to the governor of our state, to different senators, to the elder abuse organization, to different attorney's, and the final step was to report the original attorney on this case to the Bar Association for unethical practices showing that he should have had direct contact with my parents, that they never signed the paperwork in front of him, that the life estate was poorly done and the fact that he has admitted that he never did a life estate before.  The attorney also stated that he found my letter to the governor of our state to be quite humorous.  Unfortunately the Bar Assocation has stated he did nothing wrong.

 

I can never tell you what this has done to my parents.  They have lost so much more then just their property.  They are broken hearted to know that two people they trusted have turned on them.  I have never seen my parents shed as many tears as they have over this in the 61 years that I have been on this earth. The emotional abuse and trauma has caused them health issues that are beyond repair.  There are numerous emails that have been sent to them and myself from my brother and my son stating that my parents are just sitting around feeling sorry for themselves, that they are old and health issues come with being elderly.  My parents are now not only emional traumatized by all of this, but are  having financial issues.  Had my son and brother returned this paperwork as requested so that my parents could have either rewritten it according to their wishes or stipulated their view differently, they could sell the cabin and property in order to maintain their financial issues.   All they have been told by my brother and son is this: WE WILL NEVER SIGN OFF SO QUITE WASTING YOUR TIME.

 

I have failed them in getting their property back and realize now that there is no one who can help them.  I  hate knowing that when it is their time to go home to the Lord that they will die knowing that two people whom they loved have made their lives miserable.  At this time they do have the right to not allow my brother or son on the property, but once they are gone, they will take over.  

 

I hope you will be able to understand my position.  There is so much more to this story, but our hearts are breaking watching two elderly people go from being happy and enjoying life, to two people who have had their hearts broken.

 

Thank you and may I say your show is wonderful and you and Robin are the most caring people ever.

 

Jeanne Stefoneck

The estate attorney, Scott, that stated 'changing wills is a perfect crime" is so right on the money. It doesn't seem to matter either if a will was changed illegally and that someone could prove that it was changed illegally. In a small town like ours, our relative not only recently used undue influence on her elderly aunts to change a will, she also created a fraudulent power of attorney in which she fraudulently forged her stepmother's signature giving her husband power of attorney to get his stepmother's money. She has been doing things like this for DECADES, including what crimes she pulled on us (her own son).  All her crimes could be PROVEN, yet no attorney in this small town would do a thing to her. We were given the joke of an excuse, "She is too old to prosecute". Bull poop!  If that is true, then let me know the age when one becomes to old to prosecute for criminal, civil, and federal crimes or too old to prosecute for tax evasion and fraud because a lot of other people would be curious to know too. By the attorneys failing to prosecute her for her crimes thus allowing her to continue her criminal path to cheat others, then to me, aren't they just as criminally guilty as her for allowing her to keep stealing legacies?

 

I believe it becomes a perfect crime because there are some ruthless ATTORNEYS out there that help these crooks draw up new wills and tell them exactly what to do to make their crime a perfect crime. If a crime can be specifically proven, but if an attorney won't file a lawsuit for the injured heirs, then that is when it becomes a perfect crime - when the attorney gives aid to the criminal.  I witnessed this over and over again. When cornered my in-law always tries to blame everyone else for her deception and crimes by pointing the blame to someone else like, "Oh the attorney did that" (in regards to filing a fraudulent survey, deed, and documents), or the "bank made the mistake" (when they illegally transferred stock or money for her), or "the tax preparer did that" (when she filed her fraudulent return evading taxes). Come on now! Who INITIATED the transactions and received the gain - she did, the criminal! The problem is there are so-o-o many Stolen Legacies out there because like I said, I believe, there are some attorneys helping these criminals get away with their crimes. If you don't believe me, I can produced enough evidence (with everything in black and white) from decades of her crimes.

 

I cry for these relatives that she robbed and I never knew some of them. They are gone and have no one to speak up for them. If someone doesn't stand up for the "deceased before us" then who will? They can't. These crimes are happening every day to so many innocent people. If these attorneys know that "changing wills is a perfect crime" or that "power of attorneys are a license to steal", then CHANGE THE LAWS. PROTECT OUR LAST RIGHTS and OUR LAST WISHES. We simple folk can't change them. We aren't the lawmakers; attorneys are. We are only the saps that try and depend on the attorneys to do what we pay them for. I tried to stand up for my husband and my husband's loved ones and they about destroyed us and will keep trying to just because I stood up for what is right. I can't get passed this because this is one of my purposes on this earth. It hasn't been much fun. It almost cost us our lifes. It feels like hell, but I can't let it go. I wrote a diary about our encounter with the family criminal in chronological order resulting in over 900 pages, so if your attorney guest, Scott, wants to know what he can do to help, tell him to try and change things for the innocent victims of these criminals who try to get away with the perfect crime with the help of attorneys that helps them MAKE it a perfect crime. It can't be a perfect crime if the attorney simply says, "NO, I can't help you cheat your loved one." As you can tell, I am very adament about doing something to change things for others to prevent them from going through what hell we and others before us went through. Thank you Dr. Phil.  

 When our mother passed away my dad gave each of us four kids our inheritance. My youngest sister received our grandmother's house and, before the ink dried, she and her husband sold it and within a few weeks blew over $40,000.  They preyed on our family and took thousands of dollars in money, cars, etc.

 After both our parents passed my other two older sisters and I told them we would not be able to give them anything else. They got in trouble with so many people and buisnesses that they fled the state.

 I got the land our family had and recently found out that the right of way to the property was not put into my name. I contacted my sisters and all agreed to correct the problem except my little sister. She, because of mineral rights, thinks she can get rich and will not release her part of, what amounts to a drive way.

 Now I have to go to court to resolve the problem. It is so frustrating to have to constantly deal with someone who would sell out there family, disgrace there parents, for a buck.

 Even after years of being out of the state, we still are getting calls from people and buisnesses who are trying to find them that they owe money too.

 THESE FOUR LADIES SHOULD FEEL PRIVILEDGED TO HAVE GOTTEN ANYTHING AT ALL FROM THEIR AUNT. SHE CARED ENOUGH ABOUT ALL OF THEM TO WANT TO DO THIS KIND GESTURE AND THESE WOMEN ARE ARGUING ABOUT WHO GOT WHAT? THAT'S JUST STUPID. THEY CAN SAY WHAT THEY WANT BUT THIS HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH MONEY. FIRST OF ALL, THEIR AUNT DID EXACTLY WHAT SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE BEGINNING AND SHE PROBABLY CHANGED HER WILL SO THAT THERE WOULDN'T EVEN BE A CONFLICT. IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT SHE WOULD LEAVE AN EVEN AMOUNT SO THAT NOONE WOULD FEEL SUPERIOR TO THE OTHER. SO GET OVER IT WILL YOU! MY DAD LEFT ME AND MY BROTHER WHEN WE WERE VERY YOUNG AND MOVED IN WITH A WOMAN THAT HAD TWO CHILDREN AND THEY WENT ON TO HAVE A DAUGHTER TOGETHER.MY DAD NEVER PAYED CHILD SUPPORT AND WHEN HE DIED HE LEFT EVERYTHING TO HIS WIFE AND OTHER CHILDREN. SO EVEN THOUGH I MAY HAVE FELT THAT HE OWED US SOMETHING I STILL LOVE MY HALF SISTER, STEP-SISTER, STEP-BROTHER AND YES,EVEN MY STEP- MOM. IT WAS HIS DECISION AND THAT IS THAT. SO THE POINT IS THAT YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY THAT SOMEONE CARED ABOUT ALL OF YOU AND KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO HAVE HAD THAT SWEET LADY IN YOUR LIVES. NOW  IT'S TIME FOR YOU ALL TO CARE ABOUT YOURSELVES AND EACH OTHER.

Having cared for my mom the last 8 yrs of her life, spending the last 5 doing everything from changing diapers, to hand feeding, bathing, lifting, loving her and watching her slip away before my very eyes, I don't think it was brought out enough that Linda had made a great sacrifice as did her children having to "share" their mom with their great aunt. If her aunt wanted to show appreciation for spending her last yrs. in a real home as appossed to a nursing home, who are the other sister's to mind? Thank goodness, my sister and I were always on the same page about the money end, because we both knew that any money spent, was spent for love. Sign me, Those that mind, don't matter. And those that matter, don't mind.

I would like for those ladies to talk to my daughter who lost her only sister to breast cancer two years ago and ask her if there is any amount of money or anything in the whole wide world that would make her care about MONEY if she could just hug her sister one more time.

Fighting over inheritance monies was the one thing I dreaded at the passing of my Mother and Father.  It turned out I didn't have to worry about a thing!  My brother, sister and I divided things so that everyone was happy.  My Mother named me as beneficiary of her life insurance policy - and as soon as my brother and sister saw that they said "Mom didn't mean to do that.  She would want it split between the three of us."  Not to cause an argument, I divided it three ways.  My Dad had died first, divorced from my Mom many years before, and he named my brother Executor.  Because my brother lived 2 hours away and I worked for a lawyer at the time, he named me Administratrix.  I did all the work for the estate but my siblings suggest I not take the Adm. fee which was 5% of the estate worth.  I didn't want to make waves over money once again so I agreed. 

 

Then comes my Aunt whom no one in my family really cared for at all.  She was a miserable bitch and had never talked to my Dad as long as I remembered.  Her husband died years before, her only son and daughter both passed away young, so she was left all alone.  She would always call me for any help she needed because everyone else ignored her.  I took care of many things for her over the years and one day she called to tell me she made me her Power of Attorney!  I didn't ask for that headache, but it was done so I accepted.  Things went along fine until she fell and broke her hip and she was put in a nursing home for rehab.  No one came around to help.  I put many miles on my vehicle running to her house to tend her cat and get her mail -  and then to the nursing home every other day, doing her laundry, running errands, making out her checks and having her sign them, etc.  I never put the POA in effect for her banking because I knew she would be livid  once she was well knowing I was handling her affairs.  As it was, I was the bad guy for signing the papers for her nursing home admission but ONLY so Medicare would pay for it. 

 

It didn't take long for my Aunt's hairdresser to begin to take over her care and in my Aunt's opinion, she could do no wrong.  I stepped out of the picture once my Aunt requested I return the POA papers to her.   I knew her hairdresser was moving in "for the kill" when my Aunt started accusing me of stealing from her, etc.  No other relative ever bothered to do a thing for my Aunt.  I was at her beckon call because she knew I felt obligated since she had no one else - and I actually was relieved when the hairdresser put the moves on her.  Time passes and my Aunt dies.  She leaves her estate to my brother and sister - who never did a thing for the woman!  They told me to just ignore her because my Dad would be rolling over in his grave if he knew I was helping her out. 

 

When I found out they each got their inheritance from my Aunt and I got nothing after caring for her for years, I suggested that since I did so much for the woman, but apparently angered her near the end and she changed her will, that they return their shares of money due to me but willingly divided with them at the passing of our parents.  To this day, over two years ago, I have not heard from either of my siblings.  They disowned me for a mere $10,000.  Dr. Phil says "you don't fix money problems with money", but when you don't have any - every little bit helps. 

 

It's my opinion that my siblings know they should have shared their good fortune with me and they can't face me since they refused.  Just knowing how much I mean to them is very satisfying to me. 

   Dr. Phil,

 

  I watchered today show about wills, my problem is I  had three sisters up until May of 2005.and we lost one of my sisters to lung cancer at the age of 45 years old. NO will or money could replace her, we wish we had her here, it's so sad that they don't know how lucky they are to each other to have each other,I could never not speak to one of my sisters for years over money. 

 

 

What shocks me is that this family isn't as dysfunctional as mine is!  The girls appear to have more where-with-all to solve this problem than my so-called family ever would.  Clearly Aunt Virginia was fortunate to be taken care of by family at her end time and she chose to treat everyone equally - smart lady.

 

I was the product of a VERY unhappy marriage and my parents fought continuously in front of their children.  End result:  the siblings didn't and don't get along to this day.  No big surprise.  I ended up moving out of the house after my father died, literally in fear of my life as one of my brothers was such a rage-a-holic and my mother refused to deal with the escalating problem.  I tried repeatedly to get her help and she refused.  I ended up asking her to take me off as executrix of her will and remove me as a beneficiary to her estate.  I wrote her a note after moving out explaining to her that I wanted to have a healthy relationship with her and I couldn't unless she got some kind of help.  That was 17 years ago.....

 

Unfortunately, I can't steer clear of this dysfunctional group.  I have been a f.t. caregiver to my widowed, childless, 90-something aunt for the past 18 months since she developed old-age dementia.  About 12 months ago her sister(my mother) and one of her nephews noticed that my Aunt appeared to be having cognitive issues when she went to one of their gatherings.  Soon after that they threatened to report me to protective services and ended up doing just that.  I was accused of "isolating" my aunt from her sister and nephews.  About two weeks after the nephew filed this complaint, he took a day off from work and attempted to forcibly remove his Aunt from her home on the grounds that she was being "neglected" by being left alone.  He didn't know that I checked in on my Aunt frequently and had I not been with my Aunt at that particular time he would have succeeded in eldernapping her.  (There is much more to this story but I don't want to weary the readers.)  It took the agency 6 months to investigate these allegations and I was cleared of the false accusations levelled against me.  In addition, the agency did not notify the accusing nephew  of their findings since they were concerned about some form retribution against us.  Despite these troubles, my aunt is safe and content to be in her own home - which is what she always wanted. 

 

I lament the fact that we have never really been a genuine family.  It is a heavy responsibility to take care of someone who cannot take care of themselves.  At times like these the love, support and help of family is important.  My Aunt and my deceased Uncle were good to me and provided  some semblance of "family" to me and I will always be grateful for that.

   What happen to saying thank you and saying goodbye too a love one and saying i'll will miss you. No it has to be WERE'S THE MONEY. Life is so short and sometime we forget that when a love  one who passesaway and leaves us a trust fund people forget how hard they had work to earn this hard money. these four sister they didn't even say thank you and we well miss are aunt  they only said it when Dr.Phil asked if he didn't ask they wouldn.t of said it. This massage is for the four sister be thankful for what your aunt left you. Because family member who have a lot money and have die have left it to there cats. and think about how the four of you could have help those  who sleep on the streets and have no food and children who have nothing to eat tonight and might be going to bed cold tonight. What differant  the  four  you could have done so sad so sad.