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Topic : 04/07 Will Fights

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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:36:51 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/13/07) Has an inheritance that seemed at first like a stroke of good fortune become a dividing force in your family? Meet four sisters bitterly fighting over their aunt’s inheritance. Virginia's original will divided her estate four ways: Pat, Linda and Barbara would each receive $10,000 and Carol, the youngest, would get the remainder of the trust -- approximately $400,000. But the inheritance was split six ways to include Linda’s two kids after Aunt Virginia went to live with Linda. Barbara says she can’t imagine why her aunt would change the trust unless Linda manipulated her. Does Barbara have a case against her sister, or is she just being the family troublemaker? Their mother, Fran, drops a bombshell about the real reason the will was changed. Then, Sondra says she and her husband, Patrick, fight constantly since they blew his $100,000 inheritance in less than a year. After purchasing five new cars, a new TV and furniture, they can’t afford to pay for their daughter’s college tuition. How can this couple end the battle over the buck? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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shmigelz

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November 13, 2007, 3:33 pm PST

Money hungry woman (sisters) and thats it.

Wow. These females, woman, sisters only care about 1 single thing....THE MONEY and thats all it is. They never even mention the poor deceased person at all! How much she meant to them, how much she did for them or how much she was for them.. All it is and EVER was, is the will and the money..

Those sisters on TV, look soooooooo sad its actually pathetic looking at it from outside the circle. Its like looking at 4 pigs at a feedlot horking down the slop...the more slop they has shuv down their hole the better off they are..

I feel sorry for the person who died before this happened and is now looking down from heaven and thinking OMG!

If its SUCH a problem for them, why dont they just DONATE all the money to charity..... That way no problems PERIOD.....

In all honesty IF those sisters happen to read the forums, then please for the Love of GOD, stop this, your embarrassing yourselves infront for millions of people. You can smell the odor of greed..

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dearmili

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November 13, 2007, 3:35 pm PST

Disowned

Our family was destroyed over 10 yrs ago when my grandmother died.She had alzheimers and the family took full advantage.She would cry and tell me how upset she was early in her disease(She felt like she had no control)They took her check book ..her keys..and would take her mail..I found her one day sitting at the end of the driveway..Asked her why and she said someone was stealing her mail and she was waiting for the postman..(It was all true)In the winter my Mom found her walking to the store..Another time a friend found her walking..They took her keys and then mostly did nothing for her.Me my mom and sister did everything we could..Took her out to dinner..We paid..Took her to a Blues concert..she loved it. I took her to all of her Dr.s appointments...I'm so happy i did these things because I carry lots of memories...She had 3 daughters and 2 sons and 12 grandchildren..She was a powerful loving woman ..She was the rock of our family..The only children that truly showed love in the end was my Mom and my Aunt..My Aunt cared for her in her final days..never putting her in a nursing Home..i am grateful to her..My Grandmother was very upset about her will and said her son told her to leave my mother out of the will..She cried and said I don't want him to fight with me..I told her it was her money and home ..If she wanted it all buried with her she could do that...She chose in the end to change the will and told no one except me my mom and I told her other daughter(Who denies ever knowing)She divided the money equally among ONLY her children leaving 5,000 extra to the daughter that cared for her in the last 2 years of her life( This daughter did not know about the new will)..After she passed they thought their will was the only one..My mother had the new will read and they were furious..They disowned us...It is very sad that they could be this way but in the end my GrandMother recieved the respect she deserved ..her wishes were upheld and that is all that matters to me...I miss the family I had...All I can do is believe that one day they will realize that Love and respect are very important and rfamily cannot be replaced.

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queenofscoot

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November 13, 2007, 3:36 pm PST

am there right now

Quote From: miraclesto

It is one thing for the person to change their will willingly, but when the elderly are intentionally deceived and undue influence is used, then there is a problem. As long as humans walk this earth, there will always be crooks. My husband was promised his rightful 1/2 of the inheritance once his parents passed away, so he was told. My mother-in-law dangled that all his life like a carrot over my husband to jump through her hoops all these years, while she knew all along she lied to us all, especially her own husband. Once my husband's father died, his mother not only took my husband's name off everything, but she also tried to take the family farm that we legally bought and owned back from us with unconscionable lies. In our state no will needs to be filed if there is a surviving spouse and my in-law knew this, especially since I later uncovered her sinister crimes of the past. I found out that she created a fake power of attorney for my husband's grandmother giving her husband power of attorney in which they embezzled all the money for themselves and then tried to put her in a nursing home. I even witnessed her cheating her own siblings after she put her mother in a nursing home and she stole all her tons of old coins, money, and antiques. She stated what her siblings didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Plus when the nursing home lost her mother's teeth, she stated that she could learn to gum her food because her mother's money was all hers (my in-laws) now. Then after she lied and cheated us so badly (her own son who was always there for them - always), she then turned around and embezzled money from her own aunts after she convinced them they couldn't afford to stay in their own homes. She had her aunts own attorney create a new will changing the split between the 2 families from 50-50 to 75-25 favoring hers. The thing is the attorney knew my in-law cheated us and others before, plus he knew his client of many, many years was in a nursing home for almost 2 years with dementia and Altzheimers...yet he drew up a new will for my in-law knowing it was illegal for her to get the aunt to sign it knowing she was incompetent. Later after the aunt's death, the other family contested the will and has since found out that my in-law embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars out of accounts for herself and no one is prosecuting her. They are just trying to find some of the money and have her put it back, plus my in-law wants them to sign a confidentiality agreement so no one will know what a major criminal she is and she can move on to her next targets... How can they let her get away with this (hundreds of thousands of dollars) by embezzlement... because she is old. Everyone says she is old. Well she wasn't old when she created a fake power of attorney and cheated her husband's siblings; she wasn't old when she cheated her siblings; and she wasn't old when she cheated us... They prosecuted Lenora Hemsley, yet my mother-in-law is more ruthless and heartless than she was, yet no one touches her because the attorneys and banks must be as guilty as my in-law for allowing the transactions to occur. We were threatened with our lifes when I uncovered what she did. A bank's attorney told me and one of the cheated relatives that we could be shot, our house could be burnt to the ground, or our well could be poisoned if we didn't drop the investigation into her crimes since they should have never allowed a fake power of attorney to be used.... To me, if attorneys would tell the greedy relatives that it is illegal to do what they request and refused to draw up a will if they know it is going to be used illegally, then a crime can't be committed. My husband's rightful legacy was stolen by his own mother and his father must be mourning now by what his wife of 48 years did to him. Who is standing up for the dead? I tried and I almost ended up dead. If more people don't stand up then there will always be legacy robbers and deceased loved ones mourning in heaven.

I am dealing with a greedy brother who convinced my parents to take me out of their will. NOW, he has sold our Mother's family farm and we no longer need to get his permission to take her out of the facility he put her in (a locked ward) to isolate her. I really believe that what ever goes around, comes around. God truly has the last word and His punishmnt will be eternal. The old saying is SO true! Those that do the most get the least. I really feal sorry for my mother who worked harder than any man ever could all of her life on the farm. Such a crime!

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emrmlduvr

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November 13, 2007, 3:39 pm PST

Love of family not money

I can not believe these sisters. I have two brothers and I had 1 sister and this fighting over an amount of money that really isn't that much in the scheme of things. (believe me I could do a lot with $72,000) My sister died of cancer over 10 years ago and believe me I would give anything to have her back so this makes me so sad for them. My brothers are 15 and 9 years older than me so the likelyhood is that I will lose them at some point in my life also. My husband has lost both of his younger siblings in the last 5 years. How will these sisters feel when they lose a sibling and they've spent all this time fighting and hurting each other. I will tell my children the same this my mother told us as she got older and we talked about her keepsakes, she laughed and said she'd come back and haunt us if we fought over stuff!

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conurelady

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November 13, 2007, 3:42 pm PST

This family has nothing on my husbands family

These 4 sisters have nothing on my husbands family. My mother-in-law was married 3 times divorced once those children got from there father so my in husbands mother and father decied since he was their only child and wouldn't get anything from the first parent died he would be the only person to benifit from thier lives. His father died. Some years later his mother remarried to a wonderful man who was the only grandfather our son knew. They decied that they would keep there estates seperate since they were in their 70;s when they married. His would go to his daughter hers to her son. Then they didn't do up new wills in Ontario marriage nullifies a will. We ask no pleaded with them to spend every cent they had and to make sure his daughter was protected. Well she got sick my husbands two sisters tried everything to make him seem unstable. He was 80 and if my memory is as good as his at 47 I will be happy.Then the unthinkable happened he had an accident and died she was not competent and guess what no will so everything went to my mother-in-law. She died 30 days later and my husbands two sister couldn't have been happier they would get more. They had nothing to do wih her visted once a year and did nothig but those like my husbands step-sister who came on a moments notice would get nothing.My husband has spenttens of thousands on dollars to get his step-sister included he won but at a cost he hasn't greived his mother or step-father. for two people who never were part of our lives but in death wanted to control everything. Even to the point of wanting to put their mother through test she didn't want to get medical info that because they weren't around didn't know. I know that these two will never be part of our lives they never have but how do we get over the hurt they caused both us and his mother . They see nothing wrong with the way they behaved.

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mac2372

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November 13, 2007, 3:44 pm PST

death and dying

my dad died in 1999. this left my brother and i to sort out his lifes possessions. he had not much of anything other than junk, an apartment full of it and some cds totaling up to around 60k. my grandpa paid for the funeral with my daddys whole life policy totalling ten k. i paid ofr the headstone out of his money in his checking account and also took care of all the funeral arrangements and closing up his apartment, utilities, deposits, and getting rid of his belongings. it was incredibly difficult. after the funeral service we sat in the basement of our church and i told my little brother that he ended up putting up with most of my dads issues as a teen therefore if he wanted he could have the entire monetary amount left behind. all with no complaint from me. i genuinely meant that. i told him only that i thought that a watch should go to my daddys best friend. otherwise what he thought should go i would agree with. my only concern was for our relationship. i told him i loved him and that meant more to me than anything. money included. we are all that is left of our past and our parents marriage. only we know where we have come from. he was shocked by this. but according to his girlfriend at the time he was very moved. needless to say our relationship has progressed forward. we ended up splitting his monies. there was a settlement that came around sometime after he died. like three years. my little brother had half the check sent to me. he didn't have to do that. i never would have known. i love my brother. he loves me. our daddy loved us both. he loved my babies. we are a family. neither of us are willing to let money come between that. our relationship cannot be replaced by cash or objects. death and dying brings out the best and the worst in all of us. i recommnd that everyone take time out. step away from the emotion and greed. remember that in the end cash disappears. i still have half of mine in investments but still...family is forever. my grandma is sickly and is progressivly dying faster each day. i don't look forward to the day when the Lord calls her home. thins will not be nearly as uncomplicated when she dies. many people will come unglued and things will be ugly. its unfortunate. because i know that without a doubt things can be done without destroying a family. my little brother and i are perfect examples of that. always remember thae love you share with your family. think about the other person and what the might be feeling.

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treshaslee

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November 13, 2007, 3:50 pm PST

I can relate...unfortunately

My family has a similar issue. I have 4 sisters, our mother passed away about 4yrs ago... She always spoke of a will that she had, we never knew, or were interested in the details. My mother was very young, and in good health. When she passed she was 49. The difference in my story is that it isn't my sisters and I who are in turmoil. It is us, with our step father!!! He says there is NO will... However, if there is one thing my mother wasn't, that is liar. She was always open and MORE than honest (sometimes too honest) about EVERYTHING. Now my stepfather who has been my stepfather since I was 5 (i'm now 28) has systematically shut us out completely from his life and our childhood home that we lived in before my mother ever met him. My sisters and I are not interested in financial gain, or taking away my mothers house, we are a very close knit family with no ill will. But knowing what my mother told us over the years, we find it odd that my stepfather now says something different. We are only concerned in my mothers' wishes in the event of her death. And also, my stepfather has two adult children from a previous marriage, they never lived in the home, and were grown when my mother and stepfather met. I only remember them even coming to our home, maybe twice... If my stepfather passes, at this point, they are his heirs. Even if my mother just wrote down what she wanted, and didnt go through the court process, believing that he would show us the will, we all KNOW there is something. It has put a cloud on our family that has just added to the pain of her untimely death. But as Dr. Phil said, I do believe in Karma.

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vg0910

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November 13, 2007, 4:02 pm PST

More Worried Than Ever....

After watching todays show, I am more worried and upset than before. My parents are both, thank God, still living. Hopefully they will live another 78 years, but I know that is pretty darn unlikely. I am the oldest of two children. My sister is 11 years my junior. My parents had 9+ retail stores which I was involved in and helped with (working all of my school years and then again in my late 20's to early 30's). My sister never worked in any of the stores. My sister and I have been in and out of favor with our parents (myself more than my sister) more than I would like to count. Thus, I've been wrote in and wrote out of the Will so many times I've lost count. The last go-round with our parents was back in 2000 when my sister stopped talking to my parents and my parents stopped talking to me because I continued to talk to my sister..... All of the above being said (I know what you're thinking... this would be a better story for the Jerry Springer Show) about one year ago I began to repair the broken lines of communication with my parents. We now have a loving and healthy relationship with boundaries put into place which everyone involved understand. Now, my sister isn't talking to my parents or to me because I have healed, forgiven, and moved on with the best relationship I've ever had with my parents. My Mom had open heart surgery a few years ago and my Dad just had a mini-stroke in December. My Dad was also just recently diagnosed with dementia. My husband and I live approximately 186 miles away from where my parents live but we try to travel to vist with them at least once a month to help with items that may need fixing around the house. I always make and take them a meal to eat for the next day. My parents are in their upper 70's and are worth millions. Their house alone is well over two million. Their stocks, bonds, and investments are beyond my wildest dreams. My parents have just named me executor of their will and have stated they have given me the power of attorney if it should be needed. My name and signature has been added to their safety deposit box so if something would happen to them I could gain access on their behalf.

Because my sister is no longer speaking to me... and she stopped talking to my parents in 2000..... to the best of my knowledge she doesn't know anything about the new arrangements that have been made by my parents regarding their Will.

My greatest fear is.... when both of my parents have passed.... and my parents wishes are to be carried out by me.... Do I carry out my parents wishes or do I try to get my sister involved in the Will as well?

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grandmatwo

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November 13, 2007, 4:03 pm PST

lost out on money

I too lost out on money . But it doesn't bother me because my mom was always there for me in every possible way when she was living with advice, and once in awhile I would borrow maybe twenty to forty dollars about once every two to three years. She would go to rummage sales when my kids where little and sh would give the three of us fresh garden produce from her garden You see I got divorce when my youngest was just barely a yearold My, mom has been gone now for about five years and still miss her. My oldest is32 and my youngest would have been 30 years old. You see my youngest sister took everything and today she is an unhappy lady. Sometimes it doesn'tpay to be greedy it just pay to be simple and live in your own means and be thankful for your health and happiness.

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stamping

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November 13, 2007, 4:04 pm PST

Been there, done that

My sisters and I shared a large inheritance from our aunt but we also shared it with her lawyer, her best friend and several other people. My younger sister thought she was the favorite so she was shocked when the funds were divided equally. She blew all her money and then tried to make us lose our share by needing money from us so she could live. When she saw that it did not work and she had to get a job, she dumped us. We are estranged now for close to 2 years and I do not miss her. I do not like to be used. When she can come back and be decent and not make it about money then she will be welcomed back. I agree that what people do with their money is their business and the sisters should all be happy that their aunt thought enough about them to leave them something. If she had been very sick all the money would have been used up for her to take care of her.

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