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Topic : 04/07 Will Fights

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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:36:51 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/13/07) Has an inheritance that seemed at first like a stroke of good fortune become a dividing force in your family? Meet four sisters bitterly fighting over their aunt’s inheritance. Virginia's original will divided her estate four ways: Pat, Linda and Barbara would each receive $10,000 and Carol, the youngest, would get the remainder of the trust -- approximately $400,000. But the inheritance was split six ways to include Linda’s two kids after Aunt Virginia went to live with Linda. Barbara says she can’t imagine why her aunt would change the trust unless Linda manipulated her. Does Barbara have a case against her sister, or is she just being the family troublemaker? Their mother, Fran, drops a bombshell about the real reason the will was changed. Then, Sondra says she and her husband, Patrick, fight constantly since they blew his $100,000 inheritance in less than a year. After purchasing five new cars, a new TV and furniture, they can’t afford to pay for their daughter’s college tuition. How can this couple end the battle over the buck? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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tdontack

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November 14, 2007, 3:28 pm PST

Mother's will

It's interesting the subject of wills came up on a recent Dr Phil show. My mother passed away in 2004. She had been married to my step father since 1967. My mother died of cancer. She knew she was going to die. We talked about her will, and without trying to make it sound greedy, I asked if she made sure everything she wanted to have happen in fact did, i.e, insuring items were given to who she wanted to have them. She assured me it was taken care of. I am not a greedy person. If my mother said she wanted something done, I would make sure that it was. She did make a list of some of her jewlry and other family items she wanted to leave and who to leave it to. What she did not do was add it to her will. I had a copy of the list, but was assured that when my step father wanted us to have the items, we would get them. He passed away in 2006. Everything went to his children. I had to find out how this could have happened so I requested a copy of my mother's will from the clerk of courts. Her will simply said everything was to go to my step father. I knew this, but my mother trusted that he would in turn give us the items on the list she wanted us to have. It never happened. He had so much hatred for us, he made sure we were left out of his will and none of my mother's wishes were carried out. I tried to reslolve this with my step brother to no avail. He turned out to be the greedy one, not even letting us have my mother's cremated remains. The end to this only means that if you don't properly take care of your business, don't trust anyone else to do it either. It won't happen. My family has suffered for this, all we wanted was what my mother wanted us to have, nothing else. My step father robbed us of this, and my step brother continued to rob us of this in his death. May they both burn in hell.

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clbhib

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November 14, 2007, 3:52 pm PST

So sad, another greedy family member

The sister Linda stood to receive $10,000 with the previous will. Sure, dear Aunt, come live with me, need a great attorney to discuss your will.......here's a phone number, here is transportation......and I just can't wait to see how much money I will get. Like over $200,000 for her and her kids and a $13,000 fee for remodeling. Shame on you Linda........I hope that you believe in karma. As for the other sisters, so sorry to hear of your family loss and for the heart ache of of going through a situation as Dr. Phil suggests "didn't pass the smell test".

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clbhib

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November 14, 2007, 4:07 pm PST

your parents will

Quote From: lovefun

Do you want a relationship with your sister? I would not get her involved in the will as you say. If you want a relationship with her.... split all the assests with her. Actually, you should give her something even if it is not a equal share. You don't say if your parents have cut sister out of the will. If sister is irresponsible... put her money into a trust that she can only recieve so much money each year.

My biological father passed away two years ago. My parents divorced when i was very young. My father remarried and they had a son who is two years younger that me. In his will, he left all of his estate to my step brother. He dis-inherited his first three children (me included). I moved away from my home town in my early 20's, over 20 years ago and I was not very close to my Father. However, my brother worked for his company for many years and my sister tried often to be a part of his life. My step brother was left an estate well over one million dollars. Us three children received 0. Us three kids are very responsible and truly good people. When I received a certified copy of his will and read the paragraph labeled "disinherited" and saw our names listed, it was the darkest day of my life. I, personally, was not expecting a penny. However, I believe my brother and sister should have received something. If your parents are worth millions, I truly believe that you on your own should share something with your sister. Even if you have to set up "money restrictions" for her, a good attorney will make sure that she doesn't go blow it all in one year. This will topic is just as hurtful today and it was two years ago.

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optima

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November 14, 2007, 6:32 pm PST

schemingwomen

What needs to be thrown into the mix is it is not all family that is hungry for your money. Many years ago I left an unhappy mariage and a beautiful home. My ex (stayed in the home) and always assured me that the home would be left for our children. About 15 years ago He remarried. He married a woman who lived around the corner in a big beautiful home. She had just been widowed after a six month marriage. The man had adult children. The children reeived nothing in the will. This woman cleaned out the family. Now my ex husand has added to her wealth. My ex died last week. She has cleaned out my family as well. My children will receive NOTHING! There are some barracudas out there. This woman has five children that all live in fine homes purchased from her exploits. She gets these men when they are old and ill and takes everything from the children. We are not sure how she gets them to draw up new wills. She is now on the prowl for the next victim. Watch out in Oak Lawn Ill. There should be a law.

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otsure5

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November 14, 2007, 7:47 pm PST

GOD WILL GET YOU ALL IN THE END!!

THIS FAMILY. HOW SAD!! ANYWAY WHO REALLY CARE WHAT THIS FAMILY DOES AFTER THE SHOW!! WHY DO WE HAVE TO KNOW THEIR BUSINESS?? IT'S BAD ENOUGH THEIR TOWN DOES BUT WHY EVERY ONE ELSE?? TOO BAD THE LADY THAT DIED DIDN'T GIVE IT TO CHARITY, THEN NO ONE WOULD BE BITCHING OR WOULD THEY??
NO MORE SHOW ON FAMILY FIGHTING, ABUSE, ETC.... HOW ABOUT PEOPLE DOING GOOD IN THIS WORLD THEIR OUT THERE!! THANKS FOR LISTENING

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sensible1

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November 14, 2007, 8:48 pm PST

Truly Saddddd...

Quote From: miraclesto

It is one thing for the person to change their will willingly, but when the elderly are intentionally deceived and undue influence is used, then there is a problem. As long as humans walk this earth, there will always be crooks. My husband was promised his rightful 1/2 of the inheritance once his parents passed away, so he was told. My mother-in-law dangled that all his life like a carrot over my husband to jump through her hoops all these years, while she knew all along she lied to us all, especially her own husband. Once my husband's father died, his mother not only took my husband's name off everything, but she also tried to take the family farm that we legally bought and owned back from us with unconscionable lies. In our state no will needs to be filed if there is a surviving spouse and my in-law knew this, especially since I later uncovered her sinister crimes of the past. I found out that she created a fake power of attorney for my husband's grandmother giving her husband power of attorney in which they embezzled all the money for themselves and then tried to put her in a nursing home. I even witnessed her cheating her own siblings after she put her mother in a nursing home and she stole all her tons of old coins, money, and antiques. She stated what her siblings didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Plus when the nursing home lost her mother's teeth, she stated that she could learn to gum her food because her mother's money was all hers (my in-laws) now. Then after she lied and cheated us so badly (her own son who was always there for them - always), she then turned around and embezzled money from her own aunts after she convinced them they couldn't afford to stay in their own homes. She had her aunts own attorney create a new will changing the split between the 2 families from 50-50 to 75-25 favoring hers. The thing is the attorney knew my in-law cheated us and others before, plus he knew his client of many, many years was in a nursing home for almost 2 years with dementia and Altzheimers...yet he drew up a new will for my in-law knowing it was illegal for her to get the aunt to sign it knowing she was incompetent. Later after the aunt's death, the other family contested the will and has since found out that my in-law embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars out of accounts for herself and no one is prosecuting her. They are just trying to find some of the money and have her put it back, plus my in-law wants them to sign a confidentiality agreement so no one will know what a major criminal she is and she can move on to her next targets... How can they let her get away with this (hundreds of thousands of dollars) by embezzlement... because she is old. Everyone says she is old. Well she wasn't old when she created a fake power of attorney and cheated her husband's siblings; she wasn't old when she cheated her siblings; and she wasn't old when she cheated us... They prosecuted Lenora Hemsley, yet my mother-in-law is more ruthless and heartless than she was, yet no one touches her because the attorneys and banks must be as guilty as my in-law for allowing the transactions to occur. We were threatened with our lifes when I uncovered what she did. A bank's attorney told me and one of the cheated relatives that we could be shot, our house could be burnt to the ground, or our well could be poisoned if we didn't drop the investigation into her crimes since they should have never allowed a fake power of attorney to be used.... To me, if attorneys would tell the greedy relatives that it is illegal to do what they request and refused to draw up a will if they know it is going to be used illegally, then a crime can't be committed. My husband's rightful legacy was stolen by his own mother and his father must be mourning now by what his wife of 48 years did to him. Who is standing up for the dead? I tried and I almost ended up dead. If more people don't stand up then there will always be legacy robbers and deceased loved ones mourning in heaven.

Very sad. You were told by a bank attorney that you could be "shot", your "house could be burnt to the ground", or your "well poisoned if [you] didn't drop the investigation into her crimes"??? This is unbelievable!!! Who would do this or have this done? Your mother-in-law??? Why would the bank's attorney tell you and your relative this--to frighten you, since they would be implicated? Sounds like corruption of the worst kind!!!

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sensible1

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November 14, 2007, 9:39 pm PST

Possible Scholarships/Fellowships

Quote From: midwestchick66

I have been following all of the kind words everyone has posted about our story. I feel fortunate that Dr. Phil let us get our feelings out and the last few months have been very good... Our money situation is not really any better but we are putting in a TEAM effort to solve things, instead of my husband being shut down from the problems we face.Pat was very worried everyone would judge us and for the most part people have been positive and can relate to our problems. Our daughter still cannot enroll for the spring semester in college because we owe 1600.00 in outstanding tuition. Dr. Phil suggested student loans and she has gotten those and some pell grant money but there is a limit to what the government backs and school is more than she can get through those avenues.She is 19 yrs old and no one will loan her anything witnout a co-signer. We are not able to co-sign, so she is at a dead end. Plus we have tried so many different loan companies her credit is suffering, from pulling her credit report so many times IF ANY OF THE VIEWERS HAVE SUGGESTIONS OR HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH STUDENTS FUNDING, PLEASE ..... WRITE A RESPONSE TO THIS POSTING. WE WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING FOR OUR DAUGHTER TO SUCCEED AS A NURSE. SHE HAS LOST THREE GRANDPARENTS TO CANCER NOW AND SHE HAS A REAL PASSION TO OVERCOME OUR FAILURES AND BE THE FIRST COLLEGE GRADUATE IN OUR FAMILY. She is a very motivated young lady. We are very proud.

THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT, SONDRA

Sondra, first congrats on your precious daughter and her ability to be the first college grad in your family. I know some others gave info about nursing and working in hospitals to help pay for schooling. There is a nurses shortage, so there should be "something"!!!**. A college eduation is so very expensive these days. Of course since my parents couldn't afford to send me, it was just as expensive proportionately then. So, I worked full time and went to night school, taking 1 course per semester for a few years. Finally, I got a job that paid for my classes and books and I was able to take 2 courses/semester!!! Thank God for this! I graduated without any debts, and as an added bonus, my office gave me a graduation party.

There are little-known scholarships for children of various workers, i.e. railroad workers, armed forces, teachers, barbers, etc. Perhaps your daughter could do a web search (google or other) for possible full or partial scholarships.

I hope your daughter finds something. Meanwhile, may God bless you, her and your family.

**P.S. It may be politically incorrect to say this, but in many cities due to the shortage (or so-called shortage) of nurses, jobs are being filled partially by Filipinos. Frankly, I have absolutely no problem with that, unless perhaps that has driven the pay for native nurses down, and also caused some problems with getting nursing scholarships/ training...

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prentiss

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November 14, 2007, 9:40 pm PST

Agatha Christie

I am a fan of Agatha Christie books and this show reminded me of one of her characters, Mrs. Marple. Mrs. Marple said she had lived long enough that when she met someone she could predict how they would act and what they would do because she had already met someone just like them. This is true with me. The sister named Linda reminds me so much of a nurse's aide that worked at the nursing home where my mother resided. When I first met her, she seemed genuine and talked about God and what all he had done for her and then after knowing her I found out that was a front. She was very deceptive, manipulative, and could con anyone out of anything. Linda is so much like this lady, even her appearance. Actually, it is uncanny. Of course I cannot say Linda manipulated her aunt but my gut says it is a real possibility.

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sensible1

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November 14, 2007, 10:09 pm PST

Will Wars

I almost got sick as I read some of the posts on this subject, and read about the show (I didn't see it). What hurts most is when the natural children never come around to visit; and when natural children are cut out by the second or third wives. I can see why the love of money is [a] root of [all] evil. When my 103 year old mother died 4 years ago, she had a hand-written will, but also intended for each of her children to receive equal amounts of money from a small fund--it wasn't much. She had set aside money for all funeral and other expenses, which was separate. She had told me and another sister who lived out of town to take what we wanted from her home while she was alive. I didn't want to do that, but took one piece of crystal. We all split the money equally, which was her wish and there was no swabbling, etc.

We left all items in the home for the sister who lived with her and took care of her, including money found in the home. One night I found a large envelope with a lot of cash (I didn't count it). I could've put it in my purse and no one would've known, but I took it to the sister who lived with her. This sister made available Mother's things to all of us to take the things we treasured most, and we all agreed that everything else should go to her.

But, while this went very smoothly, there have been cases in Mother's family that didn't go as smoothly. One case involved a cousin of hers who somehow managed to spend her and her siblings' share of money left to them (they each got only $200!!!), yet his daughter and her husband immediately bought an expensive new car, and sent their children to a private school. Another case involved an aunt whose relative removed money from her account as soon as she died, before probate. Other cases: an out-of-town relative accused a cousin of taking money out of the house before the body was cold, etc. Another involved two sisters having a physical fight over items in their mother's home that actually were bought by the sister who lived with the mother. One had to visit the ER. They didn't speak for a few years, but finally are ok with each other. These are only a few.

Folks, try to solve these situations fairly. Family is much more important than money and the hard feelings that will result. Everyone who handles these situations illegally or immorally will have to pay for it, possibly their children or grandchildren will. Whatever is sown, will be reaped...

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sensible1

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November 14, 2007, 10:18 pm PST

No Will War

Quote From: beth1942

I was personal representative when my childless aunt died leaving 16 heirs. We all got together at her home one day for division of her personal effects. We used a silent auction for most of the items and one of my cousins was auctioneer for the larger items. Everyone got an equal amount of "play money" to use. If they went above their "free money" they used real money.

I sold some land she owned and cashed in her investments and insurance. I got a fee for handling the estate. A cousin who handled her finances the final few years of her life and a nurse cousin who visited and dressed her her daily those final years in a rest home each got a fee. (Actually I divided the amount the attorney said I should receive for handling the division with them, because I felt they had earned it.) We divided the remainder equally between all the heirs.

I have a wonderful family! No one ever complained.

Beth, this is great--makes me feel better about posts on here and also give me ideas. What a creative way to dispose of your aunt's things--the "silent auction". I'll bet it was fun too. My siblings and I split my mom's things fairly too, but in other situations in our extended family and with friends, it was not the case...

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