Topic : 04/07 Will Fights

I ahve seen so many freinds and family fight over the estate of a love one who has passed away. Seriously GET OVER IT!!!! This is the one thing that angers me most with families. i can understand the probelms if there is no will but why fight. Is the person u loved so much not worth more than that? It's just me and my sister. When my parents pass away everything is to be sold plain and simple, furniture house etc.and once it's all said and done we spilt what's left down the middle and that's what we get. I refuse to fight over there estate. I was aked if they chaged there Will and my sister got 90% and I got 10% would I not get mad then. NO my parents would have mad there last wshes for a reason. No money in the world is going to make loosing them any easier. So for all of u fighting over money/property of your loved ones who lhave passed away, WHO CARES, GET OVER IT, and if u r fighting over it obviously they had a reason and I think by your actions now, they were right to cut u out or change the amount!! DO THEY NOT DESERVE TO BE REMEBERED OR IS IT ALL ABOUT GETTING RICH OFF OF SOMEONE'S DEATH??

My Father was dying from cancer when the 2nd ex-wife arrived back on the seen just before he died.  Filled with morphin and cancer she talked him into marring her again.  Cermony took place 7 days before he died and none of his children were told.  3 days before his death she got him to write a new will and everything was left to her.  Her 2 children were given nothing!!!

 

My sisters and I just walked away.

 

I have seen many people change toward their families when there is money involved.  I feel in the case of this family that no matter what has happened, the money should be shared evenly.  There was a trust involved in my family plus gas royalties and estate money from my grandmother.  My youngest sister that has died was very wild and we could have chose to cut her out, but we didn't.  She also had a son that is now 13 and he was adopted , but we chose to leave him his mother's part.  My grandmother wanted everything divided evenly plus kept in the blood line.  My other sister and I could have chose to do things different but we had Grandmother's will and we are abiding by it.  My mom and Aunt didn't want any of the money so it went to the three girls.  I think I would rather not have anything than to lose my relationship with my family.

My loving mother used money to manipulate me all of my life. As her only child she gave me a copy of her will leaving everything to me after my dad passed away.

She always blamed him for not spending money while I was growing up.

A lesson in the fast lane, late in my life. She not only changed her will, leaving me excluded but slapped me with a law suit. Promising the same things to my children and grand children.

She claims to be a Christian. I pray I am not like her. She loves only one person, herself.

 It's unfortunate that so many people can relate to this story.  It grieves me to be part of the club.

My parents had 3 children.  My brother was always the black sheep in , but still my folks let us all know that their will stated that everything would be split in thirds.  It was always understood.  My mother passed away years ago and my father had a couple of strokes that made it necessary to put him in a retirement complex.   This was all done in another state where the eldest of us 3 lived.  Since we always had a good relationship, I was confident that my older sister was taking taking care of everything to get him settled.  He loved it there and made many friends, even though he wasn't able to communicate as his speech and thought process was taken away as a result of the strokes.

My father passed away 2 years ago, and soonafter the funeral, I stopped hearing from my sister.  I would email her and call her, as we always did in the past, but she never really gave many details about Dad's will.  I finally pushed her on the subject, and I received a letter and copy of the will from her attorney shortly after.  Do my surprise, she had re-written my dad's will as soon as she moved him to the state she resided in, and pretty much cut me and my brother out of the will, leaving everything to herself.  And in case of her death, it would revert to her 2 children.  I received nothing as did my brother, who had passed away 2 months before our dad. 

My parents could have died penniless and that would have been OK with me.  What hurts those of us that are in this situation, I think, is what our siblings did to destroy any kind of relationship we had with them, their/our families and any good memories that we had of our parents.  In my case, the way she had re-written the will, it made it seem like he had only 1 good and loved child.  When that wasn't the case at all.  Very sad!  And that's what hurts the most, because in my mind and my heart, I know it wasn't like that at all. 

 

    Did you ask your parents why they changed their Will?  If your parents planned to transfer things to you while they were alive (because of estate taxes) changing their Will to reflect this was an excellent decision.  

I am so grateful that when my Dad passed away, (Mom had gone 2 years before), my sister, brother and I all shared the funeral expenses equally, and divided what insurance money was left over equally. There was NO fighting, no hard feelings.

 

First and foremost was the grief we all shared over the loss of our Dad!! 

In the movie Wall Street, Michael Douglas had the famous line of "Greed is good."  Well, for some people, greed is this horrible thing that turns into a fun competition for them.  Can I rip my other family members off of this one rich relative's estate?  If I do, then I win.  I have never seen the point of fighting over a dying person's belongings; to me it cheapens their life somehow.  Let me share what happened to my husband.

 

My husband's uncle was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  He lived on the family estate, which he had separated in his will to his two nephews and two nieces, my husband being one of the nephews.  Well, as soon as the uncle found out he was sick, his niece (who is in her early twenties) began "whispering" in his ear about how if he kept the will as is, some of the property would eventually go to "outsiders" (the outsiders were my kids from my first marriage  He thought it was a sin for my husband to marry a divorced woman and she knew this and RAN with it!)  She did this day and night and eventually drove him herself (with her equally greedy mother) to the attorney's office to have the entire estate left to her.  She even had her mentally disabled sister written out of the will!  The week after he died, she had all his worldly possessions, the entire family estate, out on the front lawn, selling to the highest bidder.  And the property?  Well, she has to fund her world travels somehow, so guess what's happening to the "family estate" that is supposed to stay in the family?  As soon as probate closes, it's on the market!

 

My husband has cut all ties with that particular part of the family and cannot understand why his mother wants anything to do with them.  He didn't particularly care for any part of the inheritance except for some personal items that had been promised to him that she sold at the estate sale, but he was terribly angry for his brother's sake.  This woman has literally been rubbing her newfound wealth in his mom's face, buying expensive handbags and new cars while they are struggling to get by.  The part that makes me mad is how she treats my in-laws and my kids; like they are dirt beneath her holy feet.  She and her mother make me sick, and I am only comforted by the fact that in the end, they will face judgement for their greed and gluttony.  I don't think their punishment can come soon enough.  Luckily I have a husband that refuses to force us to endure any more of their nonsense.  Evil creatures!

I can only imagine how wonderful that was.....unfortunately, your case only happens once in a life time.....I work for an attorney and I have seen so many families torn apart over the death of a loved one.....I personally had the experience of watching my husband's family do the same......I tried and tried to get my father-in-law to make out a Will and for some reason, I ended up being the "greedy one" in my in-laws eyes because "I was trying to make sure my husband ended up with everything" according to them.  I knew what was going to happen but by the time of his death, my sister-in-law had played her role in mind binding together with my brother-in-law {my husband's sister and brother}.  They turned this whole death experience into a nightmare.....I am not a bad person nor do I have a bad heart or intentions.....I only tried to help.  Never again.....I learned my lessson the hard way.  Not only did my father-in-law die without a legally produced Will, he made my husband promise not to give into his mother and not to hand over his inheirtence to her.  Now, she has disowned my husband {her first born son} because he feels he has to follow his father's dieing wishes.  Please people, make out a Will and make sure you don't change things at the last minute because you must admit that people will and do try to influence dieing people if they think it is to their advantage.......

My mother is spending "our inheritance" traveling all over the country and world-- And we couldn't be happier for her!  Hopefully, when she dies, we will have nothing but loving, happy memories.