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Topic : 06/16 A Daughter in Danger?

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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:38:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/14/07) When Shawn’s daughter, Katherine, was only 16 years old, she made international headlines when she ran away to the Middle East to be with 20-year-old Abdullah, whom she met on MySpace -- a man she never met in person but was convinced she was in love with. The FBI intercepted her in Jordan and escorted her back to the United States. Unbeknownst to her family, Katherine secretly continued a relationship with Abdullah via the phone and the computer for two years. After turning 18, Katherine said goodbye to her family and left to be with Abdullah in the war-torn Gaza Strip. Katherine’s family is terrified that she’s never going to return. They think Abdullah is lying to Katherine and possibly even brainwashing her. They say when she calls, something doesn’t sound right. Is she afraid for her life, but unable to tell them? Is she being held against her will? Dr. Phil talks with Katherine via satellite from Palestine, and has some hard questions for Abdullah about his real intentions with Katherine. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
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bchambers06
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November 15, 2007, 8:58 am PST

Daughter in trouble

I have found that other cultures have a very strict rule about persons not of their race. Muslims , Arabs, and African cultures just to name few, are rather predatory when involves other person not of their race. It would be well advised to research the culture of the person before you leave US territory. And remember, they will promise you anything on the phone or on line, but when you get there it is another story.
 
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paulaharwood
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November 15, 2007, 9:03 am PST

Divorcing a muslim from Palestine

 Dr. Phil:
If you do a follow up to this story, I would like to lend my experience to this family who's daughter is considering marrying this man in Palestine.  I was married to a man from Palestine for 20 years, had 3 children by him and when he decided to dump me for another woman, there was hell to pay for me.  Not only did he cheat on me, lie to me and bilk me out of a lifetime of earnings we had built together with 2 successful real estate companies, but he dragged me through the mud with many dirty tactics to try and ruin my character and standing in the community.  When these men are through with you, they will trash you like you cannot imagine.  And this has not only happened to me.  I know of other women this has happened to.
These men will be charming and can appear to be stable, but let me tell you, there is an evil abusive side to them, particularly when challenged by a woman.
This young girl who is planning on geting married to her Palestinain fiance had better be careful.  She is young, loving and naiive, just as I was when I married my ex-husband.  By the way, we have been divorced for 2 years now and he still is very nasty and abusive to me.
There are subtle traits in these men that rear their ugly head when you do not comply to what they want.
Thank you for listening to me.
Paula Harwood
p.s. I have been to Palestine and Jordan and know first hand what it is like to live there.
 
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shisha4
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November 15, 2007, 9:34 am PST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Quote From: dog_ranch

I don't think that anyone is assuming Abdullah is shady becuase he is from the middle east.

 

I am assuming he is shady becuase of his lies, actions and words. 

 

And, let's not forget that women can go freely to and from Mexico and Africa.  Middle Eastern countries are famous for their control of women.  Do you ever read the paper or watch the news?  No one here is being racist.  Sheesh.

In a perfect world no one would be assuming an individual is one thing or another because of where the come from, but as you say "I don't think anyone is assuming Abdullah is shady because he is from the Middle East" but then in the same post you say, "Middle Eastern countries are famous for their control of women." So it seems that you are judging even though you are saying people are not. People consider women mistreated in the Middle East and I couldn't disagree more. Sure there are individual cases that are appauling, but generally women are treated with respect and kindness. People may see traditions in the Middle East "limiting" women, but again I disagree. For instance if a women is married her husband is responsible for her, that includes financially. He is expected to work and provide for her 100%. If she decides to work then that is her money, she is never expected to provide for him, so it takes off a lot of pressure. I just want to emphasize one more thing again, it is ignorent to generalize the whole entire MIddle East. Syria, Lebanon, Israel/Palestine, Jordan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Bahrain, Oman, U.A.E., Kuwaitt, Iraq, Iran, are all VERY DIVERSE places. Also it is bigotted to assume all Middle Eastern people act or think the same way. It just isn't so, just as any group of people will never all act or think alike.
 
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linda7nj
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November 15, 2007, 9:44 am PST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

I think it's a little late.

 

She's 18 and is exactly where she wants to be.

 
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immalik05
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November 15, 2007, 10:25 am PST

it is not that easy

Quote From: pouncer246

Abdullah is only using Katherine to get his US visa.
when a woman tries to get a visa for her husband it is not easy. they have to be married for a suggested time and have to pass interviews with the consulant at the embassy. they doa background check on the male to see if he has been in jail or has had any association with any groups that have caused problems.
 
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immalik05
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November 15, 2007, 10:33 am PST

i am sorry for your expericence

Quote From: paulaharwood

 Dr. Phil:
If you do a follow up to this story, I would like to lend my experience to this family who's daughter is considering marrying this man in Palestine.  I was married to a man from Palestine for 20 years, had 3 children by him and when he decided to dump me for another woman, there was hell to pay for me.  Not only did he cheat on me, lie to me and bilk me out of a lifetime of earnings we had built together with 2 successful real estate companies, but he dragged me through the mud with many dirty tactics to try and ruin my character and standing in the community.  When these men are through with you, they will trash you like you cannot imagine.  And this has not only happened to me.  I know of other women this has happened to.
These men will be charming and can appear to be stable, but let me tell you, there is an evil abusive side to them, particularly when challenged by a woman.
This young girl who is planning on geting married to her Palestinain fiance had better be careful.  She is young, loving and naiive, just as I was when I married my ex-husband.  By the way, we have been divorced for 2 years now and he still is very nasty and abusive to me.
There are subtle traits in these men that rear their ugly head when you do not comply to what they want.
Thank you for listening to me.
Paula Harwood
p.s. I have been to Palestine and Jordan and know first hand what it is like to live there.
i am sorry for your experience but why does it have to be all arabic, muslim or palestinian men. that is not fair. just like in any culture their are good people and bad people. american men have done the same to their wives to the extent of killing their wives and kids so they could have a life. don't get me wrong if any  man calls you names or withholds you from having relations with your parents he is no good for you. i don't condone abdullah at all. but my husband is a good muslim man who was raised in jordan and i was raised here. he is very respectful and treats me with respect. he is appreciative of me and i have full independence and complete trust from him.
 
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shisha4
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November 15, 2007, 10:45 am PST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Quote From: paulaharwood

 Dr. Phil:
If you do a follow up to this story, I would like to lend my experience to this family who's daughter is considering marrying this man in Palestine.  I was married to a man from Palestine for 20 years, had 3 children by him and when he decided to dump me for another woman, there was hell to pay for me.  Not only did he cheat on me, lie to me and bilk me out of a lifetime of earnings we had built together with 2 successful real estate companies, but he dragged me through the mud with many dirty tactics to try and ruin my character and standing in the community.  When these men are through with you, they will trash you like you cannot imagine.  And this has not only happened to me.  I know of other women this has happened to.
These men will be charming and can appear to be stable, but let me tell you, there is an evil abusive side to them, particularly when challenged by a woman.
This young girl who is planning on geting married to her Palestinain fiance had better be careful.  She is young, loving and naiive, just as I was when I married my ex-husband.  By the way, we have been divorced for 2 years now and he still is very nasty and abusive to me.
There are subtle traits in these men that rear their ugly head when you do not comply to what they want.
Thank you for listening to me.
Paula Harwood
p.s. I have been to Palestine and Jordan and know first hand what it is like to live there.
I have been all over the Middle East as well and lived there as well. Your situation is unfortunate but just because you married a Palestinian man doesn't make you an expert on all Palestinian men. The man you were with obviously was selfish, does this mean all Middle Eastern men are selfish? To generalize an entire group is rediculous! Are there not American men who mistreat their wife, cheat on them, even divorce them? Certainly but that doesn't mean every man does the same. I really think you are blinded by your pain right now, to assume all Middle Eastern men are like the one man you knew (and there are over 200 million Arabs) is bigotted. I don't believe you are a bigot and sympathize with you really, but the way you are presenting your assumptions is somewhat offensive to me.
 
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dryades
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November 15, 2007, 10:48 am PST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Somebody should have forced this girl to watch "Not Without My Daughter" a few times.
 
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shisha4
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November 15, 2007, 11:19 am PST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Quote From: dryades

Somebody should have forced this girl to watch "Not Without My Daughter" a few times.
And somebody should realize this is a movie and isn't the norm. If this was the norm it wouldn't be an entertaining movie. Having lived in the Middle East I met several western women who married Muslim men. Those that I met were perfectly happy and didn't have a shocking life to have a movie to be produced about them. Generalizing all situations as the same, and to generalize an entire people, how ignorent and how common I'm begining to see on this board.
 
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sunnisygn
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November 15, 2007, 11:26 am PST

Don't give up!

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this girl.  It seems like everybody is focusing on her age and her rights as an adult.  But I would like to know what happened the two years between the first time she left the country to this time.  Obviously she we allowed to speak to this predator while he groomed her for the future. 

 

The fact that she had so little to say with so little emotion scares me.  It's obvious to me she is in trouble and if not now soon in the future.  It is a completely different world there and she could be gone, never to return in a split second. 

 

I hope the goal is to rescue this girl, then maybe we can find out what really happened (from her point of view).  Maybe she can turn it around and help other girls and women from falling into the same situation.  I will be thinking of her and praying for her safe return!
 
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