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Topic : 06/16 A Daughter in Danger?

Number of Replies: 454
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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:38:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/14/07) When Shawn’s daughter, Katherine, was only 16 years old, she made international headlines when she ran away to the Middle East to be with 20-year-old Abdullah, whom she met on MySpace -- a man she never met in person but was convinced she was in love with. The FBI intercepted her in Jordan and escorted her back to the United States. Unbeknownst to her family, Katherine secretly continued a relationship with Abdullah via the phone and the computer for two years. After turning 18, Katherine said goodbye to her family and left to be with Abdullah in the war-torn Gaza Strip. Katherine’s family is terrified that she’s never going to return. They think Abdullah is lying to Katherine and possibly even brainwashing her. They say when she calls, something doesn’t sound right. Is she afraid for her life, but unable to tell them? Is she being held against her will? Dr. Phil talks with Katherine via satellite from Palestine, and has some hard questions for Abdullah about his real intentions with Katherine. Join the discussion.

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November 14, 2007, 8:47 am CST

Common sense!

 I am sick and tired of everyone blaming everything that happens to their kids on myspace! I do hope everything works out for thre best. If you are determined enough to do something, it will get done.

I don't think the parents took enough precautions after the first time she was brought back. Get rid of the computer/cell phone altogether or put passwords on them she couldn't figure out!

Obviously, she didn't use any common sense as to never runaway with anyone you meet online! I would be sooo very cautious to even meet someone I met online who lives in the same town as me, let alone in a different country!

 

Frustated in Ohio

 
November 14, 2007, 8:53 am CST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Quote From: susielries

you never give up...this girl is delusional and somehow he has said the ''magic words''. some people just have power and know how to use it. she will regret this forever. if she hasn't married him yet, he has no respect for her, as no muslim man would. if she has married him , she is basically trapped and when she has children and decides this life is wrong, she will never get them out of there and if she DOES, she will have to hide for the rest of her life. i lived in france years ago and many french women married muslims and when the man decided to go back to his country, he took their kids and it took years of legal work to get even visitation rights. HA. it is a nightmare.
I would really hate to be a child of yours, to know that when times get rough you would abandon me when I needed you most. When you have children one of the things as a parent is to always, always be there for your children. Sometimes they may not want it but to turn your back on them is stupid on your part as a parent. Either you have no children or you had rotten parents that did this to you.
 
November 14, 2007, 9:39 am CST

is the daughter in danger

Yes she is. This young girl is very naive and will lesten to what she wants to hear, right now it is the boyfriend, he tells her what she wants to hear and he knows it. To have met him on the internet (myspace at that) and to think she knows him enough to travel to his country just shows how naive she is. I do agree that the Mother should have intervened long before her daughter turned 16 then again when she got her back, that is when the intensive intervention should have started. This guy and his family are making her promises that sound good to her.  I know this for a fact because when my daughter turned 18 her boss talked to her about his nephew being here and needing to be married to stay in the USA. They told her they would give her money to live on while they were married, my daughter agreed at the time, but then decided that she wanted to stay married and make a family with him here in the states. I (her mother) live with them I know for a fact that if I didn't live with them and have such a close relationship with my daughter that things would be different for her being married to him. They have been married two years and still their are times that he has to be reminded that he lives in the USA and things are different here reagrding "control" over your wife. He use to tell my daughter what she can and can not wear (which he did not before they were married). He use to say that I can tell her these things because she is my wife, she must listen to me. I told him she is not your property, she is an equal partner in your marriage, you may tell her something you don't like and she has the right to decide what to do with that. He has taken some time to understand this and sometimes still reverts back to his culture which causes conflicts. He has told my daughter that when they have children they will be muslim, my daughter says no they will be Christian, so my daughter tells him then they will not be having children. She has a 3y/o which he treats beautifully as if she were his. They do have respect for family but it is still at their call. Before my daughter married her husband I sat her down and made her watch the movie "Not without my daughter", then she made him watch it also and told him I will never go to your country for fear of this happening. He told her they don't do that anymore. She will not just accept that answer and go, she knows better. She loves her husband as do I but you will always have things in the back of your head.

Now that Katherine is in Jordan she may not come back, they take your passport from you and hold it, she no longer has access to it. The boyfriend and his family are postponing getting her Visa for her for reasons of their own. The boyfriend is still being great to the girl and so is his family because she hasn't married him yet, once the marriage happens then things will take a drastic change in both how she is allowed to dress, what she can say, what she can do, what she will have to put up with. One of the things that they also do is once married they get their wives pregnant right away. My son-in laws brother just got married a few months ago and she is pregnant already, when my daughter asked her husband is that what you people do over there have children right away, he said yes. Why is that? it is because once they have children they will lose their children if they leave the husband. Only the husband is allowed to divorce a wife, or have other women in his life. Therefore women will not leave their husbands and will have to put up with abuse of all sides. Abdullah will get her Pregnant as soon as they marry, to have that control over her and over her family. They live together in a family unit, a large house so that there is always family around, she will never be left alone. You can know that already by everytime he has "allowed" Katherine to call home or visa versa he is standing over her to hear her conversation. If Katherine does not see this behaviour as controlling then as time goes by she will be lost to their culture, to a controlling man. She will be lost Dr. Phil

 
November 14, 2007, 10:37 am CST

my daughter in the same situation

i have a daughter in the same situation she met a guy on the internet and went to egypt and married him .

since she has been there she has told me that she has had to go to the hospital for alomst breaking her arm and has had her haed put in the floor and not let out of the house and  he turns off the phone so i cant call he wont answer his cell phone has taken her passport when i do talk to her and he is there she says everthing is ok and when he is not there she tells me different. she has emailed some of wour friends to have a place here  he has her thinking that we dont want her home and then has her tell our friends that i a mgetting in her buisness and to leave them alone i have saved all the messages she has written to me and they are not good i sincerely know what the parents are going through i did manged to get her a plane ticket as she told me to do this it is for the 29 of november we will see if she gets  on the plane if se dont i dont know what i will do

 
November 14, 2007, 10:58 am CST

MYSPACE

I AM 44 AND MY KID'S SET ME UP A MYSPACE, YES I KNOW THERE ARE PPL WHO TRY TO GET YOU TO ADD THEM, (HAVE HAD THE SCAMMERS FROM NIGERIA TRY) ANYWAY'S, YOU AND YOU ALONE HAVE TO ACCEPT THEM TO BE A FRIEND.  I CHECK MY KIDS MYSAPCE AND THEIR MSN MESSENGER, AND IF THERE IS SOMEONE I DON'T RECOGNIZE OR I THINK IS TOO OLD, I ASK MY 15 YR. OLD DAUGHTER WHO THEY ARE AND EVERYTIME I EITHER REALIZE WHO THEY ARE (BECAUSE THERE NAME MAY BE DIFFERANT ON THE SITES) AND SHE GOES TO SCHOOL WITH THEM, OR THEY ARE A FRIEND OF HER SISTER OR BROTHER'S, AND THAT CLICKS IN ALSO THAT I KNOW THEM, IF I DONT, THEY ARE DELETED.,(WHICH I HAVE NOT HAD TO DO) SHE LEAVES HER MYSPACE/MSN MESSENGER UP ALL THE TIME AND I LOOK IT OVER, SHE KNOWS THAT AND HAS NOTHING TO HIDE, BUT PARENT'S NEED TO CHECK WHAT THE CHILD IS LOOKING AT.. IF SHE WAS TO ABUSE HER COMPUTER PRIVELAGES SHE KNOW'S THAT SHE WOULD NOT BE ON IT, PERIOD....WE HAVE TAKEN HER CELL PHONE AND COMPUTER AWAY FOR A LOW GRADE, AND I DON'T BLAME THE TEACHER FOR HER LOW GRADE, SHE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR IT AND I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR HER.....
 
November 14, 2007, 12:25 pm CST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

I feel for this girl's mother.  The only thing that I can say about her is that it is not her fault that her daugther is an idiot.  That girl is lucky that her mother loves her as much as she does, there are a lot of teenagers that are not as lucky as Katherine is.

 

But I can say this.  If there had been myspace when I was a teenager in the 80's, and if my father had found out that I was doing what Katherine was doing, the computer would have been thrown into the yard right before I would have had to pull my father's foot out of my butt.

 
November 14, 2007, 12:26 pm CST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Good grief, where were the parents 2 years ago when she first met this guy. This is a perfect example of why parents need to keep a close eye on who their teenagers are talking to and what they're doing on the internet!!! Somehow over the years, parents have just completely lost control over their own children and we wonder why horrible things like this happen!!

 

I really hope they can get Katherine home safely.

 
November 14, 2007, 12:26 pm CST

Correction

I just want to clarify something, minor detail...Palestine is not a recognized country. :)

 
November 14, 2007, 12:29 pm CST

Parents Get Educated!

Parents need to know what the age of consent is in their state.  I am so amazed at the number of parents who assume it is 18.  In PA a 16 year old can have a relationship with a 30 year old and it is not illegal.  ALSO Parents can monitor the home computer but your kid can access the internet with a PSP Play Station Portable which has a wifi connect feature.  Even if you don't have a wireless internet in your home, they are everywhere and the kids know all about it.  Just get educated!
 
November 14, 2007, 12:34 pm CST

What????

1st the Mother is a Dope.  You let her have a computer and a cell phone AFTER she came back .  Did you get her into some kind of therapy?  DUH!!!!!!!!  I suppose you would feel alot better if she was going to marry the future wife beater who lives two town over?     Grow up --she is 18 yrs old  an adult... If she makes a bunch of stupid decisions now,  it is because YOU FAILED AS A PARENT when she was minor.  A waste to Dr Phil's time and talent.
 
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