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Topic : 06/16 A Daughter in Danger?

Number of Replies: 454
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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:38:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/14/07) When Shawn’s daughter, Katherine, was only 16 years old, she made international headlines when she ran away to the Middle East to be with 20-year-old Abdullah, whom she met on MySpace -- a man she never met in person but was convinced she was in love with. The FBI intercepted her in Jordan and escorted her back to the United States. Unbeknownst to her family, Katherine secretly continued a relationship with Abdullah via the phone and the computer for two years. After turning 18, Katherine said goodbye to her family and left to be with Abdullah in the war-torn Gaza Strip. Katherine’s family is terrified that she’s never going to return. They think Abdullah is lying to Katherine and possibly even brainwashing her. They say when she calls, something doesn’t sound right. Is she afraid for her life, but unable to tell them? Is she being held against her will? Dr. Phil talks with Katherine via satellite from Palestine, and has some hard questions for Abdullah about his real intentions with Katherine. Join the discussion.

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November 14, 2007, 12:35 pm CST

For goodness sake live her alone

Oh - Why is this show such a big deal and I don't understand why Dr Phil is not coming out and telling this parent- first everyone is responsible for thier own action. As a parent you do your best to protect your children but there comes a time when they have to be responsible for their own action. For Katherine this is the time to be responsible for her action. If she is okay with Abudullah then good for her- They need to stop painting Abudullah as the bad person, their daughter choose to get on the plane and go over there to meet him. The problem is people don't want to take responsibility for their action.

 
November 14, 2007, 1:01 pm CST

this guy is a terrorist

this guy needs to be banned from this country. why could he not get a visa to come to this country on his own. she needs to be forcibly removed from there immediately.the government should not allow him in even if he is marriedto her. what does she know about love. why are servicemen dying over there does she not realize she is being used.
 
November 14, 2007, 1:04 pm CST

Frankly I'm appalled at the assumptions being made!

I truly can not believe that people are assuming that because this young man is from the Middle East that is going to abuse her and hold her against her will.  I'm not saying that it never happens, but abusive relationships happen in the States and every other country unfortunately.  To assume that it will happen based soley on the fact that he is from the Middle East is racist and unfair. 
I realize that he has called her some degrading and unacceptable names.  I don't condone this.  I'm not saying that this is the most healthy relationship, but the things that were said about his country and the fear from her family that he will "kill" her is unbelievable.  If someone said that about an African American or Hispanic person here, they would lose their job.  Why is it okay to make these statements about the Middle East? 
 
November 14, 2007, 1:09 pm CST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Quote From: toto1212

i have a daughter in the same situation she met a guy on the internet and went to egypt and married him .

since she has been there she has told me that she has had to go to the hospital for alomst breaking her arm and has had her haed put in the floor and not let out of the house and  he turns off the phone so i cant call he wont answer his cell phone has taken her passport when i do talk to her and he is there she says everthing is ok and when he is not there she tells me different. she has emailed some of wour friends to have a place here  he has her thinking that we dont want her home and then has her tell our friends that i a mgetting in her buisness and to leave them alone i have saved all the messages she has written to me and they are not good i sincerely know what the parents are going through i did manged to get her a plane ticket as she told me to do this it is for the 29 of november we will see if she gets  on the plane if se dont i dont know what i will do

 I'm so sorry for you!  Keep the faith, everything will be okay, hopefully this holiday you will be reunited with her :) hang in there and g-d bless!
 
November 14, 2007, 1:09 pm CST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

I'm with every other poster on this website. She is eighteen years old and is still incredibly naive. We don't even understand what real love is until we get older and things in life become clearer. I don't think being called mean names and kept from her family is love. I really feel for the parents because they had no way of controlling their daughter. You think it would be so easy but try getting through to a naive person who is stuck in  their own ways. It will make absolutely no difference. The mom is doing the right thing by trying to stay on her good side so she knows that if she decides to come home she'll be welcome.
 
November 14, 2007, 1:10 pm CST

Stereotypes????

 I agree with many of the people on here on say she is 18 and if she wants to be there then she's old enough to realize there are consequences behind her actions.  Here is my problem with this whole story:

 

I understand that starting at as 16 she started trying to go to live with him and that she met him on the internet, bother are wrong and risky.  But now at age 18, she is legally an adult and responsible for her choices.  However, are we treating this "relationship" so harshly and trying to "save" this girl because he is from the Middle East?  I attend college with plenty of people from the Middle East and I don't see them going around trying to "trick" American women ino marrying them, I don't see them trying to control the people around them and definately don't see them trying to figure out which building to blow up to kill the most people.  Why are we still surrounding people from the Middle East as bad people?

 

Sure she was 16 when this started but there are possibly thousands of 16 year olds in American daily running away to be with an old guy right here in the states that will treat her worse than this girl is being treated. 

 
November 14, 2007, 1:14 pm CST

Good news mom,

Quote From: ladihawk63

I AM 44 AND MY KID'S SET ME UP A MYSPACE, YES I KNOW THERE ARE PPL WHO TRY TO GET YOU TO ADD THEM, (HAVE HAD THE SCAMMERS FROM NIGERIA TRY) ANYWAY'S, YOU AND YOU ALONE HAVE TO ACCEPT THEM TO BE A FRIEND.  I CHECK MY KIDS MYSAPCE AND THEIR MSN MESSENGER, AND IF THERE IS SOMEONE I DON'T RECOGNIZE OR I THINK IS TOO OLD, I ASK MY 15 YR. OLD DAUGHTER WHO THEY ARE AND EVERYTIME I EITHER REALIZE WHO THEY ARE (BECAUSE THERE NAME MAY BE DIFFERANT ON THE SITES) AND SHE GOES TO SCHOOL WITH THEM, OR THEY ARE A FRIEND OF HER SISTER OR BROTHER'S, AND THAT CLICKS IN ALSO THAT I KNOW THEM, IF I DONT, THEY ARE DELETED.,(WHICH I HAVE NOT HAD TO DO) SHE LEAVES HER MYSPACE/MSN MESSENGER UP ALL THE TIME AND I LOOK IT OVER, SHE KNOWS THAT AND HAS NOTHING TO HIDE, BUT PARENT'S NEED TO CHECK WHAT THE CHILD IS LOOKING AT.. IF SHE WAS TO ABUSE HER COMPUTER PRIVELAGES SHE KNOW'S THAT SHE WOULD NOT BE ON IT, PERIOD....WE HAVE TAKEN HER CELL PHONE AND COMPUTER AWAY FOR A LOW GRADE, AND I DON'T BLAME THE TEACHER FOR HER LOW GRADE, SHE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR IT AND I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR HER.....
 I'm glad to hear that you are so diligent and on top of your 15 yr. old. But, you know what? It STILL happens to moms who are just as diligent and responsible as you. Some of these guys are so super slick and they know the 'ropes' .  I don't want to see anyone become too complacent and think they have all the bases covered. I know you didn't mean to send that message but it is easy to infer (reading your message) that as long as you 'keep an eye on them', young girls are safe. There's a lot of really good parents out there who got blind-sided and didn't even see it coming. If ANYONE ever finds a 'cure' for  'teenagehood,'(?) I think they deserve the highest honour available!
 
November 14, 2007, 1:14 pm CST

The world THEY live in

As an American I understand how fustratimg this is.  I am American born and raised but have lived and traveled in the middle east.  Everyone is stunned at how this man could want to marry someone he has never met.  First, please realize I do not condone this but this is the fact.  In their culture it is normal.  It is not uncommon for Muslims to meet on line and marry, the embassies routinely see people applying for visa's to meet people they met on the Internet. Although Americans meet/fall in love and choose their own mate, this is a very western behavior.

 

When I lived in the middle east it was not usual to find that many of the people i worked with (Muslim) had never even talked to their mate before the wedding day.  What we here are freaked out by is a normal process there.

 

In addition, in Muslim culture, it is custom for the female to move in and live with the family. I am sorry to say it is also common for the female to be cut off from her family if the husband desires this.

 

A good bet would be to have this girl go to the embassy and register.  Though the embassy does not act to protect her, they can at least have tabs/info on her  and kind of keep her informed of the situation in the country.  They can also provide her w/some cultural education/info and do/don't/safety info for Americans living in the country as well as guidance on a possible escape plan if needed.

 

If this guy is a good guy then he Will be a good husband, they take this far more serious than Americans.  But if he is not, she is in for something she has never planned for and it will be horrible.

 
November 14, 2007, 1:22 pm CST

There is NO such country as Palestine

One has the right to expect accuracy on every level from  a show and a person like Dr Phil.
 Jericho was part of ancient Israel. It was always Israel since the time of Joshua. Irrespective of which foreign entity conquered the land, Jericho  was still part of Israel. The first foreign entity to rename the land was the Ottomans, who considered every land that they dominated part of the Ottoman empire. The British were given dominion over the area after World War 2 and named what is present day Israel and Jordan, Palestine after the Balfour Declaration gave the Jewish people the total land mass to the Jewish people for a distinctly Jewish homeland. After Arab riots, the British gave the land west of the Jordan river to the Arabs for an Arab Palestine and ALL the land east of the Jordan for a Jewish Palestine.
The area of ancient Israel that was conquered and illegally annexed by the Jordanians in 1948 became known as the West bank of Jordan. No world body or countryever recognized Jordan's annexation. The land was never an Arab Palestine. Today Jericho is under civil jurisdiction of a group who called the Palestinian Authority but is NOT a part of a non existant county called Palestine.
 
November 14, 2007, 1:24 pm CST

What's really wrong with her???

I married at 16 years old, but it was to someone my parents agreed would be a good husband for me and under completely different circumstance!!. She is completely disrespecting her parents and above all she oviously has low self-esteem...just with her trying to please someone she doesn't even know...makes you wonder what void shes trying to fill!!!
 
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