Topic : 06/16 A Daughter in Danger?

Good thing you mentioned the movie “Not Without My Daughter” because I was going to mention that film, asking if Katherine had ever seen it.  Doesn’t she know that once she marries Abdullah, she has to give up all her rights?  Quoted from the “Not Without My Daughter” page on Wikipedia:

“After many years of marriage to an Iranian doctor named Moody (Alfred Molina), Betty (Sally Field) is convinced by him to visit his family in Tehran for the first time. Although she has a lot of trepidation about traveling to the Middle East, her fear of violence is overcome by sympathy for her husband, who misses his family. After Moody swears on the Koran that everything will be fine, Betty agrees to go. The happy couple set out with their young daughter, Mahtob, on a planned two week family vacation.

“Immediately upon arrival, Betty is forced to wear the traditional black veil, and is nearly arrested for inadvertently exposing some of her hair. Contrary to everything Betty had previously been led to believe, her husband's family turn out to be fanatically devout and conservative Muslims, who are very unhappy with the prospect of an American in-law. Towards the end of their scheduled holiday, her husband reveals that he has been fired from his job in the United States and that he has decided the family will stay in Iran. Suddenly, she sees a completely different side of him. When she objects to staying, he beats her and takes her credit cards, money and identification. She soon realizes that she and her daughter had became prisoners in her sister-in-law's home. She manages to call her own mother in the U.S. who provides her with an Embassy contact, before her husband cuts off her access to the telephone.

“Betty sneaks out of the house and gets to the Swiss Embassy, where she learns that under Iranian law women have no rights concerning the children; her daughter is considered an Iranian citizen and cannot be taken out of the country without Moody's signed permission. Her husband becomes increasingly violent with her and she is watched around the clock by his unsympathetic relatives. Realizing that she will never have an opportunity to escape unless she plays the part of a devout Muslim wife, she finally reinitiates sexual relations with her husband and expresses an interest in converting to Islam. Eventually, her husband loosens his tight reign on her a bit, moving the family into his brother's home. Her traumatized daughter is enrolled in a Muslim school, where Betty is allowed to accompany her. In a class about Islam, Betty meets another American woman who is also being held hostage in the country. The woman ends up being horribly beaten by her husband for trying to mail a letter for Betty.”

I fear that this will be Katherine’s fate indefinitely if she goes through with an actual wedding.  To those posters who are indicting racism against Muslims, I’ll have you know that this kind of thing is still happening with women in the Muslim/Middle Eastern culture.  Women are expected to not only submit to, but also worship their men, and cannot even go outside without a man accompanying them.  If you even talk about women’s rights there, you will be punished severely.  This is unlikely to change in the near future.  Even in Canada, this same thing is true with East Indians, beating their wives for disobedience, as I was told years ago while visiting British Columbia.

Now, about this meeting Abdullah on MySpace, first off you cannot hold the Internet and MySpace responsible for what happened to Katherine.  People have used this website for other purposes besides causing mischief and soliciting for sex.  One of my newly-made Internet friends has a MySpace page entirely devoted to the C.O.P.S. cartoon (though said friend is 34 years old.)  Yes, Katie is eighteen, but she obviously has the maturity of a 13-year-old, as evidenced by her actions.  Where was the computer when Katie was conversing with this man?  I hope it wasn’t in her bedroom, as studies and family repeatedly stress against this.  Always keep it in the family room, where parents can keep a strict eye on your Internet activities.  If Shawn has followed this, then she should’ve been home with her daughter more often where she can keep close watch on her, monitoring her MySpace activity, and explaining to her, as both parent and friend (because a concerned friend would do this also) about “stranger danger” and just accepting new friends on her page without checking to see if they are legitimate.

I wouldn’t have recommended taking away the computer entirely, (though I agree with the “no cell phone” deal) but I would’ve restricted access strictly for homework purposes (i.e.: research reports through Wikipedia, History reports and English projects on Word or WordPerfect.  As we are in the middle of a war, I agree that Katie must be forcibly removed from the Middle East before anything happens to her.  I just hope that she won’t behave like Alex from last week’s show when and if they do.

Shawn you all have a lot of reason to be worried for Katherine's safety.

I am not concerned about her getting caught up in political instability issues.

Having lived and worked in the Middle East legally for 15 years, I was very alarmed by the fact that Abdullah,s parents are encouraging what is happening here.

This is totally unheard of.

I have many Arabic, Muslim friends and western friends married to Arab, Muslim and Christian men.

There are a lot of fine people there. Some of my friends were lucky and some of them we had to collect money to buy them a ticket home.

They were in love too and their Mohammed was different.

Katherine, do you know that it is against the law to sleep with and live with a man that you are not married to?

Do you know that you can be hauled off to prison then deported after?

Would Abdullah's parents allow his sister to live in their home with a man she is not married to?

Do they permit her to go out on dates with men of any religion?

Are you aware that when you have children for Abdullah they will be brought up as a Muslim?

Are you aware that women do not legally have the rights to their children?

Are you aware that you cannot leave the country with his children unless you have written approval from him?

Do you know the Embassy would not be able to assist you legally?

Are you aware that he can divorce you but you cannot divorce him?

Are you aware that he is allowed to beat you in accordance with his religion?

Are you aware that you are the ticket that will allow his family to live in the US legally?

Do you know he will dump you once he has his GREEN CARD?

Do you think you understand the culture of the people in that part of the world regardless of their religion?

Have they provided you with a translation of the QUR'AN? Get one.

How did you get a Visa? How long were you permitted to stay?

Do you know that you can be sent to prison for staying in any Middle Eastern country illegally?

This is not America young lady.

I am really trying to figure out how you and Abdullah are going to convince the Embassy folks to issue him a visa.

You have no job and therefore no money to financially support him if they  did issue him a visa.

My advise to you is to get your selfish little self home  before it is too late and you really ruin your life.

OR IS IT ALREADY TOO LATE.

Just look at your mother, have you no heart for this woman who is clearly suffering.

Abdullah,

marrying Katherine will not guarantee you a US visa.

You are a disgrace to all decent, respectful Arab men.

As for your parents they should be ashamed of themselves.

   I JUST SAW A SHOW ON PALISTENE WOMAN AND MEN GOING INTO ISRAEL AND BLOWING THEM SELFS UP AND OTHERS,THEY ARE RADICAL IN THEIR BELIEFS AND THIS MAN IS ABUSIVE SO TO CONTROL AN AMERICAN GIRL(MINE)AS HE STATED , IS A SCARY SITUATION.YOUNG GIRLS GET WRAPPED UP IN A FANTASY WORLD ANDCAN BE LED INTO BAD PLACES IN THE NAME OF LOVE. I PRAY IT WORKS OUT FOR HER AND SHE COMES HOME SAFE.