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Topic : 06/16 A Daughter in Danger?

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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:38:18 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/14/07) When Shawn’s daughter, Katherine, was only 16 years old, she made international headlines when she ran away to the Middle East to be with 20-year-old Abdullah, whom she met on MySpace -- a man she never met in person but was convinced she was in love with. The FBI intercepted her in Jordan and escorted her back to the United States. Unbeknownst to her family, Katherine secretly continued a relationship with Abdullah via the phone and the computer for two years. After turning 18, Katherine said goodbye to her family and left to be with Abdullah in the war-torn Gaza Strip. Katherine’s family is terrified that she’s never going to return. They think Abdullah is lying to Katherine and possibly even brainwashing her. They say when she calls, something doesn’t sound right. Is she afraid for her life, but unable to tell them? Is she being held against her will? Dr. Phil talks with Katherine via satellite from Palestine, and has some hard questions for Abdullah about his real intentions with Katherine. Join the discussion.

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stillhealing

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November 14, 2007, 2:17 pm PST

Back Off

Quote From: lcmsa2000

1st the Mother is a Dope. You let her have a computer and a cell phone AFTER she came back . Did you get her into some kind of therapy? DUH!!!!!!!! I suppose you would feel alot better if she was going to marry the future wife beater who lives two town over? Grow up --she is 18 yrs old an adult... If she makes a bunch of stupid decisions now, it is because YOU FAILED AS A PARENT when she was minor. A waste to Dr Phil's time and talent.

As a mother going through the same thing with my daughter, I must say DO NOT judge a person unless you've walked a mile in her shoes! I don't know if Mom made all the right decisions, but I do know this~besides the constant struggle of daily playing 'cop' (guarding the daughter, watching her every move, etc) there is also an internal struggle with letting her make some decisions on her own and grow up, and knowing when to step in and absolutely take control and risk losing your daughter for good. By law, they are still a minor at 16, yet they are legally able to consent to sex with an adult. My daughter was taught well, was a good student, wanted to go to college, wait to get married, etc~ until she met one controlling boy who was able to islolate her and turn her completely around. He convinced her to sneak out of the house late at night, skip school, have unprotected sex, and he was on his way to pick her up to run off and get married. I slapped a restraining order against him, took her cell phone away, cutoff the home phone, took the internet away, even took her bedroom door off. He continued to sneak her cell phones through her friends at school, and she continued to have access to him on the internet at school. The school told me they couldn't do anything about her having internet access while she was there, and they couldn't keep her there if she found ways to sneak out, even with the restraining order. Now, the 18 year old is in jail, and my daughter is 7 hours away from him living with her dad, but I know when she turns 18 she will go back to him because he has convinced her that no man will EVER love her the way he does.
To say this mother has failed as a parent is completely ignorant and unfair. Sometimes, as determined as you are to stop them, they are just as determined to find ways 'around' you, the law, and anyone else who tries to 'keep them apart'

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orpheus

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November 14, 2007, 2:27 pm PST

She is Naive.

The girl is just falling into a trap..that man is manipulating her. The look in his eyes. I hope Dr. Phil gets him to spill the truth. But that girl is acting like a five year old trying to act grown up. But I hope everything is put on the table, Dr. Phil cleans it up and puts it back in order.

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chilloutter

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November 14, 2007, 2:28 pm PST

whats around?

Quote From: bullroar

I think this family should give it up. If this girl is dumb enough to fall for this guy and go clear across the sea to get to him... then you can't do a thing about it. It's her life and she will be sorry some day and I would say sooner rather then later. But the family has no RIGHT to force her to do anything. Say good bye and wish her luck. She did it once and she will continue to do it. All the family will do is throw good money and heart after bad, trying to get her back. She is being bullheaded and maybe a little sick but she's of age.

PS If she ever comes back to the US, I'd say watch her because she might be brain washed.

you know what i think? i tink people should stop and look around them for a sec sure the girl is in a war zone not the best place to be but when you actually think about it north america isnt the best place to be either PEOPLE LOOK AROUND YOU GIRLS ARE GETTING KILLED EITHER WAY EVEN IF YOUR NOT IN A WAR ZONE YOUR STILL GETTING KILLED AND RAPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what her family is worried about her that shes over there but what there not worried about her if she was here so what its her choise so be it its not like shes safe here any ways you let your daughter go to school thinking everything is alright guess again shes into drugs or even better shes dateing a guy thats old as her father..... but anyways thats not my point my point is you people need to stop accusing the middel east or in what ever case the arabic people that they are all bad start putting the if's what if this guy actually loves her? what if this is what she really wants? theres nothing that anyone can do so be it Obviously it seems like she doesnt agree with her family and found a better life LET HER BE not all middel easterns are murders just like here not all americans or canadians are murders we are all the same all humens......... OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

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t22658

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November 14, 2007, 2:29 pm PST

The question is.. what now?

We can all sit here and pass judgment on this young lady, or her parents, or the guy.. and none of that really matters. What DOES matter is that there is a distinct possibility that this girl made a terrible error in judgment and is now stuck in a situation that she cannot get out of. When Dr Phil offered to give her an escape route, her face spoke volumes -- I believe she does want help. I am very glad Dr Phil made this possible. I just hope it works. I have to say that I am a bit concerned about the guy's relative who is in the US and probably watched the show. And, I'm trying that Dr Phil's team is on top of that as well.

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utloly14

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November 14, 2007, 2:31 pm PST

A Couple of Reflections

1. I do think that this there is something slightly fishy about this whole situation - that being said, I completely blame her mother and family for this whole situation. They should have kept a better grasp on it from the beginning, and not just go on the Dr. Phil show after the fact to cry and basically play the victim of the devious, bad man who wants to steal their daughter.

2. I find the racist undertones of the enitre show to be very disturbing. Mostly those coming from her family - as it seems to me they are basing alot of their complaints not on hard evidence that their daughter will be harmed or unhappy, but on uninformed sterotypes. Also, I find it to be slightly racist that the producers or whoever of the Dr. Phil show kept bringing up the fact that she was in the Middle East with a "foriegner" in this sinister way - like that alone is enough to be concerned that she might get killed or something. There are plenty of bad relationships everywhere, and the fact that the boyfriend is from Israel or is Muslim should not be enough to condemn him outright.

3. She was undoubtely hasty in her decision, and will probably regret it - the cultural differences alone are enough to doom that relationship even if the boyfriend is a great person with the best of intentions. However, she obviously is not being kept from her family if she calls them everyday, and now we KNOW she can come home whenever she wants. So being there will really be her choice. This leads into my last point...

4. I don't like how her family kept saying they were afraid she was "brainwashed", and Dr. Phil didn't take issue with them. She is young and impressionable, and he obviously has alot of influence over her, but to say she's been brainwashed is just stupid. She allows herself to be influenced - we all get influenced by the people in our lives. She still is making her own choices. Using the word brainwashed makes it sound like the boyfriend and his family are keeping her there against her will, which really seems not to be the case.

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shisha4

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November 14, 2007, 2:31 pm PST

Frustrating

Though I sympathise with the mother I think her ignorence/bigotry of people in the Middle East is making things harder. Being American myself and having been all over the Middle East I can honestly say she is overreacting. The mother says, "I'm scared she's going to be killed over there," perhaps people who are ignorent to the area would assume that all of the Middle East is dangerous, over religious, or war torn but anyone who is travel saavy would know how rediculous and paranoid that sounds. Her daughter is now of age and can do as she pleases, if she is smart and Abdullah is a jerk, she'd go to the American Embassy or simply go to the airport herself. (Many people in Palestine/Israel/Jordan DO know English, it wouldn't be that difficult) I just find this whole argument silly. Sure, having a daughter run away at 16 is something, but she is 18 now, end of story.

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shisha4

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November 14, 2007, 2:33 pm PST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Quote From: xbisoubisoux

I find this story pretty offensive. Sure it is a pretty big deal when a 16 year old runs away to meet some guy on myspace. But that was two years ago, now she's known the guy for 3 years, and she's an adult. Sure many of us would say she is being really stupid but lots of people marry right out of high school or have children way too young and thats stupid as well. This story is focusing on the "mysterious and evil" place that is the middle east. They are also trying to say that men who are from there are predators and brainwashers. Its so ethnocentric and pretty disgusting. The fact is that this girl has not joined the Family, shes not drinking koolaid, she calls her mom every day! Ya this guy may be a jerk, and the girl is almost certainly immature, but this show is portraying him as a kidnapper and her as victim. Open your minds people! Non-americans aren't savages or pedophiles, and all cities outside the states aren't filled with diseases and terrorists.

I completely agree.

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zaina_

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November 14, 2007, 2:33 pm PST

A great deal of discrimination is going on here...

If this man was from Europe or Australia, would this show have even aired?

You people need to watch what you're saying, you're being very stereotypical and racist towards Arabs and Muslims. There is a real possibility that maybe they're just in LOVE, and they want to be together. Leave the girl alone.

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blueskyalert

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November 14, 2007, 2:38 pm PST

TERRORIST GOLDMINE

Quote From: fireman453

this guy needs to be banned from this country. why could he not get a visa to come to this country on his own. she needs to be forcibly removed from there immediately.the government should not allow him in even if he is marriedto her. what does she know about love. why are servicemen dying over there does she not realize she is being used.

I think she is a spoiled brat, who has always had her way, and was determined not to be denied in pursuit of a relationship with Abdullah. So why should she be bailed out a second time, after the fairytale has run its course. If terrorists are watching this situation, they have just discovered a gold mine, in the youth of America. Forget infiltration of our borders, they can just go to My Space, and have their of pick of self-centered , self delusional young people. Neither, Abdullah or the girl, should be allowed into this country, endangering the lives of the citizens of this country.

It upsets me, when parents, who seem to equate love with material things, see that things don't matter in the end. The children of these households appear so shallow, and it would appear to me that the girls' mother needs more counseling than the daughter.

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shisha4

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November 14, 2007, 2:39 pm PST

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Quote From: lkandah

First I would agree with Dr. Phil that it is not OK for this girl to do what she has/will done/do for the following reasons:

She is less than 25 years old and she can't predict the consequences of her behavior. Having said that and as I mentioned in a previous posting, this is a gap between law and science. Law is allowing this girl to do and keep doing what she is doing, the science says she is not mature enough to predict the very important and critical things that she got herself involved in.
If possible, Abdullah should be asked the following question" Would he allow his sister to know and love an American who is not Muslim and leave her family and join him in US against the will of her brother Abdullah and the rest of her family, having an intimate relation with that man" I think if his sister does so she will be prosecuted, judged and the sentence is "Honor killing". If he really loves this American girlfriend he will apply the same rules and traditions that he will apply for his sister. That lead us to the real motive of Abdullah which is just to travel and live in USA and once he gets that he will throw away his " sweetheart" in a heart beat.
I think this case indicates that the struggle between the West and the East has extended and contaminated even the emotional and personal relations such as love. Some US citizens will look at this case as if they are losing a round with the East since the reaction will not be that strong if Abdullah is " John or Peter" and is living in Europe. Also Abdullah family want to score against USA by doing the impossible to have this US girl in a relationship/marriage with their son.

Being Muslim myself I find a lot of what you're saying ignorent and somewhat offensive. Actually Middle Eastern girls marry western guys if they are from the same social status all the time. Have you ever even been to the Middle East? I'm assuming not, perhaps you should take a trip to Beirut, Cairo, Sharm el Sheikh, Dubai, etc... and see how people live, I'm sure you'd be suprised at the freedoms and wealth many people have, both men and women. Another point, honor killings are quite rare and even more rare in cities, men who beat their women in the Middle East are often the poor, uneducated, and living in poor villages, not the norm. That would be like classifying all American men as wife beating trailor trash. It just isn't so.

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