Topic : 06/16 A Daughter in Danger?

Amen. Come on Dr. Phil... there are more important issues to debate/discuss. This young woman is of age, she is free to make her own choices. My great-great grandmother left home at age 24 to teach country school in Montana. Her parents tried to have her declared insane in order to have her returned to Seattle, Washington. Her parents wanted her returned for the same reasons that this mother wants her daughter to return to America. At the time my great-great grandmother settled in Montana; Montana was considered too wild (in some areas of Amercia, Montana is still considered too unsettled.) However, this woman has made her own mind up and let's move on to real issues, she is now her own person. My great-great grandmother had nothing to do with her parents after all of the drama that they caused for her. This too, is something to remember when you lovingly mettle in your children's life. Get over it and pray/hope you have raised your daughter to be independent and stop trying to control her. She's 18 and she'll do what she wants to do, sometimes out of pure spite. After everything settled for my grandmother; every generation since she settled here in Montana has gone on to go to college (paid for by themelves. I beleive that put the proof in the pudding). All of our great-great grandmother's children, grandchilden and their children...and so on, have turned out to be educated, productive members of society. This mother should learn to love her daughter from afar. Tell her that you love her and that you will be there for her, when she needs you. Then hold your breath and say many prayers, Mom!

I was once in a similar situation. I met a man from the middle east and in the beginning he was what every woman wanted; attentive, polite, loving. But  quickly learned they were all like that until you were in the relationship then the expectation changed to one of subservience, verbal and physical abuse. Her daughter says that they will be able to deal with the cultural difference and that the children will decide their religion ;later in life. That is a complete misnomer. It is part of their make-up.  Being muslim is their whole life and belief system and they will never give it up or tolerate anything else.  If there is a child born in this relationship between Katherine and her boyriend, and if it is a boy, she can forget about having any input into how the child will be raised and what religion that child will be raised in.  If I were her parents, I would get her out of this before her life is ruined and she is emotionally scarred for life. I have been there and witnessed this situation first hand, and Katherine is lying.

My wedding was in Egypt, I have lived there also. I have been married for several years and am very happy. I am a Muslim woman free to do as I wish, my husband has always been very kind and considerate of me. My point being, there are good and bad people everywhere, to assume an entire people are "abusive" is generalizing is isn't accurate.

 

 I sympathise with you and would be happy to give advice. If she wants to leave she can. There is an international airport in Cairo if she holds an American passport no one will ask questions. If he took her passport she can go to the American Embassy. The American Embassy is in Tahir Square (downtown Cairo, close to the Cairo Museum and Nile Hilton). Your daughter has many options. Egypt is a secular country and most people in the cities are educated and speak fluent English and French.

 This is the most saddest thing you have ever had on your show Dr Phil .... What's going' on with our young generations today ... I mean ..... they are so lonely looking for something .... they really don't know what the HECK they are looking for .... I had visit Myspace  when they first came about ..... and their are some con-artist to the FULLEST .... I couldn't believe how people was taken in by these folks .... and I still feel the same NOW!! .... but first let me tell you about myself ..... I was raised up by Con-Artist ...... few of my step-fathers were pros ..... and my uncles .......  so saying that I know them before  they speak ...

 

and if they start opening theirs mouths and sending you these letters ... I know really .... now about today show this young girl Katherine  .... this guy abdullah is a con as it comes ...... he has brainwashed this young lady to its fullest .... where she is they do not like us American ..... don't care if she white .... don't care if you black ..... or polka dot green .... you are an American ... and they don't like you ..... matter in fact .... she needs to know just what she is dealing with ..... so I hope you can tell her family this Dr. Phil .....

 

she is dealing with people who has the mind like the KKK .....  and she ( Katherine ) is the black person  ..... and they are the KKK .... OH YES!! ..... she knows how the KKK treated black people ... well  ... she is us to them .... its how they see her ....but they can blow her up to pieces.... they don't care about her.... its only what she can do for them .....thats why his family gives her whatever she wants .... He will marry this girl ....I do believe .....I know the parents don't want to hear that ..... people need to know its not safe to fall in love .....with a person so quickly ....this is not the... 50's... 60's ....its 2007 ...and you need to wait a year before having sex with a person ....

 

not the same day ....not no week ....not a month .....not even four months.... its a year or more .....and if that person don't want to wait that long.... then they are not for you ...but first let me say this.... don't tell them ....you want to wait that long ....cause then you are given the con artist room to manipulate you more..... don't send sexy pictures of yourself till then.... just send nice pics .... well... young folks will call them pics you show your grandmother....  well its safe ....and you will save your own life .....its a lot........ I can't type about this  but let me just give these young folks a great clue ....

 

a lot of men just don't like us women and girls ..... they think we are just too darn easy ...... the want to kill  us one by one ...... they think we are very easy .... cause if you treat the women good she will give you her body and keys to the mansion very fast ....... this is how people get kill from meeting online and this is how folks get AIDS but meeting online ..... young people its not a GAME its your LIFE ......  but the young folks .... they are setting themselves up big time ...... this guy (Abdullah ).... he just want assets to come to American ....and blow us all  .....

 

 I don't trust him or his family with a shiny penny.... these people are CRAZY!! .... the hate all American .....  I feel very sorry for the families ....but she (Katherine) is gone ....and she is very afraid ....come on .....he calls her out her name .... I bet she did see that coming ..... if she was a virgin .... and he's the first .... really the first ...... the family (Katherine) has lost their power ... I am still praying ....and I hope she comes though ....and stop talking and seeing him ..... but its going to be hard ..... if she just wanted to pissed out her families ...she could had came over here in my neighborhood.... Washington DC SE area.....

 

and fell in love with one of these hoodlum  gangs here..... or she could have went to LA and hook up with one of those gangs there.... at least she would be in the USA .... not in the Middle East  where the blow up American ..... these folks are crazy ...... this man just want to come to American and do what he wants while she stay there .... this is an abusive relationship and will be marriage ..... she needs to get out .... I hope all the young people get this message.... if someone anyone is pulling you away from your mother your families .....

 

they are NOT the one FOR YOU!! ...... the message and key words are ...... NOT FOR YOU!! ..... stay the HECK away from them .....they want to do you harm then good ...... I hope this pervert can go to prison .......and Kat will be free and stay with her lovely families ..... cause her mother is missing her the most ....... and if anything should happen to Kat ..... its her mom will hurt the most ..... I hope you can do something Dr. Phil to help the family ..... the best you can do well at least you will try  ..... MY BLESSING TO YOU DR PHIL AND THE FAMILIES .... 

 

Does anyone remember that movie? A woman was married to a Doctor who was originally from the Middle East, and he fooled his wife into visiting the Middle East and decided while there that he wanted to stay.  He kept lying to her regarding the air tickets home, then he started beating her since that is something that always happens to women in the Middle East.  He was a Doctor in the US and got fired, but did not tell his wife until they travelled to the Middle East.  So when it was time for them to travel back to the US,  he finally told her he got fired and they are not going back.  Wives cannot keep secrets from their husbands or they will get beaten by their husbands.  I'm not saying this happens with every husband, but it happens frequently, based on this movie. 

 

This girl on the Dr. Phil show is in great danger.

 

The movie was based on a true story.  The mother managed to escape with her daughter, but it was very dangerous.  There are many American women held against their will in some of these MIddle East countries because they were fooled into travelling there.  I hurt for this girl and her family. She was very naive in going there.

Are these parents really so weak that this girl suddenly has all the control? When they stated that THEY drove her to the airport they lost all my respect and sympathy.

I can understand an 18 year old cannot be stopped but she also did not have to be aided and abetted by her mother DRIVING her to the airport....If my kids want to do something that I do NOT support, I will certainly not AID them in their pursuits;....My oldest is 21, so I know of what I speak.

I cannot believe DR. PHIL did not call her on that!

I agree with your assessments, so far anyway. She is now 18, legally an adult, and nobody can touch her or MAKE her come back if she doesn't want to. Like you said, IF this guy is in-fact abusing her, then that's really awful & she (the daughter) needs to make the decision to LEAVE ASAP! But its up to HER (the daughter). I personally wouldn't go to another country alone, hell~ I wouldn't go to another state alone, no matter how old I was, especially to see someone I hadn't met in person, but that's just ME. And if I had children & they wanted to do something like this, I would definitely ask them to REALLY think about it beforehand... however, if they were adults, then the choice is ultimately THEIR'S.

 

And as far as people saying that 18 is too young to be married.... that's something that needs to be decided INDIVIDUALLY, NOT as a whole group! There are lots of people in this world who got married at that age & are still together 20/30+ years later & are happy! So it really depends on the person/people.

My daughter when she was 18 met an Israeli in a small town near us. His family had come to this country on a visa and never left so they were illegal. The Dad is Palestinian and the Mother is Lebanese. We found out later that he had married another American to get his papers but she got smart and threw him out. Our daughter was young and vulnerable and he was quite manipulative. He got her pregnant and then they got married. We didn't find out until after the marriage that he was illegal along with all but one of his family. He even went to an American University illegally and received a government loan illegally.They lived with his family most of the time and they told her that they would brain wash and that they were her family so she didn't need her family anymore. She left this man 3 times and he always managed to suck her back in. The last time he threw her things out the door and divorced her. She is now in the process of trying to get her 4 year old daughter back. All of this happened in the United States. Things like this can happen anywhere.

Y-O-U are the one that to airport!!!  So don't cry a river now!!!!!  You should have LISTENED to Tammy.  She seems the be the smarter of the "2"!  The thing that you ALL should have done was meet up in NY and MEET all involved!!!!!

 

Secondly, I have "2" PASSPORTS and I had a terrible time getting one of them renewed.  I had to contact a Senator to resolve the issue and speed up the process.  So I don't I know know how this "child" go one so quickly.  That is definitely a mystery.

The mother

 

I'm a bit concerned with the mother's concern about her daughter "hating" her.  Ummm, who cares?  Eventually, your kids realize that you did what was best for them at the time.  I find it hard to understand how her daughter was bought a cell phone for Christmas after she just RAN OFF TO JORDAN.  It seems as though this mother is more concerned about buying her daughter's love than making sure she doesn't make the wrong decisions.  As well, even though this girl, Katherine was an honour student (as Dr. Phil) stated has absolutely NOTHING to do with the situation.  This girl may have A's, but she clearly is lacking street smarts.    As well, the fact that her parents were actually offering her to take her to the airport is ridiculous. 

 

Religion/Palestine/Muslim

 

This has very little to do with the situation.  I have seen some comments about Abdullah being a terrorist or a brainwasher.  Where is the proof of this.  Clearly this is problematic because she is living in the West Bank where there is a travel warning right now, but the fact that he is Muslim is being focused on seems very ignorant.  If this man was some white guy from across the country that she met on the internet, would it be acceptable???  Not in my mind,  but from some of the comments here, it seems that Islam is the major issue.  I know everyone's read "Not Without My Daughter" and have heard such stories, but let's not stereotype every single Muslim man as a crazy brainwasher.  This girl got up and LEFT ON HER OWN.  Even though she had assistance from his father, SHE was the one who found her way to his father in New York.  His father did not snatch her from her bed in the middle of the night.  However, that being said, I think that this girl needs to understand that this man would not do to his family what she is currently doing.    As well, she has to understand that she does not know this man and she is too young to get involved in such a serious relationship.

Even though he's Muslim, the ominous Arabic music that Dr. Phil keeps playing isn't helping to quell stereotypes either.

 

 

The Aunts are talking about what he's said to them on the phone, but I'm sure that some of those things were embellished.  One of the Aunts said that he said that if she doesn't marry him then he'll "find another American girl,  marry her, and come whoop her ass"  I find this hard to believe because after hearing his level of English, he wouldn't even know such an American phrase/slang.

 

I think there is a lot more to this story than is being told here and her family (whether or not there are travel advisories) need to find their way to Palestine/West Bank and see her in person, as well as her living conditions. 

 

This girl, Katherine seems to be very naive and needs a reality check.  Whether or not they have genuine feelings for each other or not (which can be argued), this is NOT the way to go about the situation.  This is just crazy and I feel sorry for this girl if anything bad happens to her, as well as the family who were at the very least neglectful.