Topic : 06/16 A Daughter in Danger?

No good parent would ever give up on their child, no matter what their age. While you might have to let them make their own mistakes, that doesn't mean you stand aside while they put themselves in physical danger. You sound like someone who doesn't have children to suggest that the family should just give up because she is 18.

I think that the girl is 18 years of age and is making a big mistake....You know I graduated from high school when I was 17 and I moved out at this age...My mom and them raised me in a good home...And I made the biggest mistake when I did this...I just wished I would have listened to them..Now I am living beside of them and always calling them and asking for advice..When I moved out I got into abusive relationships and very tough on me at this age...I didn't think my mom and them would accept me after all I done So if I could let this girl know anything it would be that she has so much more in life and parents are just trying to help her...But at this age she is being like I was hardheaded and thought I knew it all....But in a couple of years it will be a big surprise to her...Family will be there for you when the man won't in the long run so always remember to stay close and follow what you know is best...I wish the best in this situation but I know that being hard headed and moving out just to be with a man is not the best thing to do at this age....So hard in the real world when he leaves you or you want to leave and you feel there is no where to go or turn to...My prayers are with this family and the girl....Wish the best...Just know the family loves you....

She went out with a guy she met in school who literaly took her from us. Kept her from her friends, family. quickely became pregnant, then had another less than a year later and he was having obvious afairs during this time, yet my daughter stayed.

She thought she burned her bridges with her family.

Even though we warned her, she was taken emotionally with him. I must add she was in special ED and has a sever hearing problem.

She just had another baby in January and one month later, admitted to me, he had been emotional abusive and even physically abusive with the children.

He just left he in Mayr. No working on a realionship, nothing!  Ran to another state and lives now with another women preparing to have even more children. support? I doubt the State/Gov. would find him. He works under the table now...

I felt she was emotionaly immature and still had dolls she played with...she never had the chance to date around.  What was distrubing during the time she was in High School the teachers acted as though they approved with their decisions...Telling her stories on how tough they had it starting young and encouraged her.

They ran off and got married...I wasn't invited because he hated me. This was my only daughter...

Now were trying to bridge our gaps.

Never turn your back on your children.

It's always worth it........family is always worth it.

 

I would like to suggest a new concept. Instead of showing reruns, how about  for actual show, recapping the highlights from the initial show and then showing the "after show takes"  that the viewing audiences never see.

That would be "new" viewing instead of actual reruns!  It would hold our interest and make it new for us.  Sounds like a good deal to me, how about you?

 

Thanks,

 

Sue

You're totally right and I of course agree... Katherine isn't a teen anymore.. she is 18 and she knows what's right & what's wrong.. her parents should leave her and they'll see that, someday, she'll die just to get back to her house. I am a Christian Arab and I know the people here. Most of the them don't respect their wives, well, disrecpect is found eveywhere, but it's more often here. And if she marries him, he may force her to become a Muslim or to cover her hair, so she will look horrible. On the other hand, I heard that Abdullah does not respect her or her family, so, just ask a kid this question and he'll answer the correct one: "What do you expect this person to be? This person who cursed at her and her family?" So I think she must have known the answer, she will regret it a lot... But not to be unjust, there are some Muslim Arabs here who really treat their women nicely, but Abdullah doesn't seem to be that type pf person... So Katherine, I really advise you and all the girls who have done similar to this or who are about to do it, to move back and stay home... Don't ruin your life and get yourself a bad reputation. Actually I call this "Adolescence madness". She was 16 years old when she did this, which means she was a teen, but a 16 year-old girl/boy is still mature or well-grown, in this gae of technology, especially. There's still a lot to say, take this from me, Muslim men can divorce their women from a one single word, which is: "Inti Taleg."  So if he utters that word to her, in their religion, she is a divorced woman and she'll have to find somewhere else... Also, you guys don't know how Muslims here think about the Christians, especially that she is an American, he'll keep trying bringing her down, and you can't imgaine how bad Abdullah's parents can be to this crazy girl, they will all despise her for leaving her parents and coming for some guy...

 

I got a similar story that my mom shared with me:

My mom used to work as an Arabic teacher in some public school, she, of course, had many friends from female teachers, and one of those teachers did the same! She married a Muslim man, who forced her to become a Muslim and to cover her hair and her body with something called "Al-Jilbab" it's like a cloak. Anyway, she's now married to him and they have two daughters. This woman is now very poor, she doesn't have an oven! Her husband is very mean to her and keeps calling her: "You're a wh*** Christian, you're the unpure woman who sold herself to me and left her family, bad Christian!." Besides that he sometimes hit her, and this woman's mother died, but why? Because of what her daughter had done... which means, she now has done two sins, changing her religion and leaving Jesus, and killing her mother, and I think it should be considered as "on purpose" because she knew how sad and mad the whole family would be... So one day, after she had run away with him, she came back to the school which she used to work at with my mother, but once she entered the teachers' room, all of the Christian teachers kicked her out of the room.. Which means, she is low now, she has no place to go to, and she is very sorry and she wishes she didn't do it.. but after what? After 20 years of their "fake" marriage?

 

So finally, I really hope this Katherine girl gets her head back... I promise I will pray for her and for everyone...

 

Thanks! :)

When I was in high school, I used to get alot of guys that I didn't know talking to me in chat rooms and whatnot.  This one inpaticular wanted mee to go to a different state and escort. Said he had a big business. But never said anything about the bad things. Always played it on what I wanted to hear. He tried for two years. Always trying to get me to go. I almost did a couple times. And one day, by this time I was 19, everything in my life seemed to be going down the drain. So I went. Worst mistake of my life. Obviously. I was stuck in a different state, got arrested a few times, and the situation got worse. These guys threw all of my possessions in the trash, I was made to do adult films. My state of mind was so weak, and I just didn't care. Finally I got sick of it, after 2 months. I was looking for a way out. And I found one. But it all got worse and worse. This guy seemed nice on the phone, and he was for a few days. Turned out he was a pimp. What I went through for the next 4 months were the most shameful, horrible months of my life. I WAS brainwashed. I looked into the mirror and didn't even know who I was. I was doing things that morraly I never even would have thought twice about. I began to get hit. Fractured ribs, bruises so bad, the welt was there for two day, and the bruises lasted for 3 weeks. I began to become scared for my life. I had no where to go, no one to run to. Nothing to call my own. I was never left alone, and if I was, I was always being checked on. Finally, finally I left I snapped out of it. I left, with nothing but the clothes on my back. I was pregnant. Being hormonal snapped me out of it. Being pregnant saved my life. I have no idea what my life would be without my son. It took me about a 10-11 months to start getting back to my normal self. Having someone beat you down emotionally, doesn't go away over night. There are still some things that I need to work on. My social skills have gone down the drain. My self-esteem is horrible. I get anxiety around alot of people. It's all coming in due time. I love my life now. I met the most amazing man. And my son is now 10 months old. He is my life saver, and my husband is my angel. If I wouldn't have gone through that, I wouldn't have these two great men in my life now.  I've never shared this story, but watching this show today, I could see the heart break on that girls face. I could see in her how I felt a year and a half ago. I wanted out, I didn't know where to turn, or what to do. I was miserable. The lowest part of my life. Her story sounded so much like mine. I left and no one knew. I am ashamed of what happened to me. My family still does not know. I wish that she would snap out of it. It might take her some time.

I feel that Dr Phil is baised in his views, he made it sound that there can not be a fair and loving relationship between middle eastern men and american women. i believe that if she was old enough to go on her own, meaning she is an adult, i feel that she can know right from wrong herself. her family should have been more respectful and reserved since it was their daughter that wanted to go, not Abdullah. Also they barely knew anything about him or his family when they were blaming him and his family for the ticket. And her saying that he beat her, and making that sound like all middle eastern men beat their women, that is not the case, and is insulting to generalise a whole people that way. That is steorotypical and wrong. Also, there is two sides to every story and i don't think that Abdullah was given the chance to tell his side. I think that you were already on the girls side and didn't give Abdullah a fair chance to even understand his point, you had already made your judgement that he was in the wrong and Katherine was painted to be an innocent little girl. I think that his love for her was genuine and not a ticket to America. Even though I respect your show and really like it, I feel in this case that you weren't your usual fair man.

I have now watched this episode two times and the more I watch it, the more I am curious as to Dr. Phil's line of questioning and the comments made by Katherine's family.
To begin with, if this boy was from Germany or Ireland would their be the same amount of attention? Sure, the Middle East is and has been an area of hostility for many years, yet if Abdulla was David and he was an Israeli would the same attention be given to the situation?
The Dr. Phil show has made Abdulla's PERSONAL behavior appear to be a cultural norm. By consistently referring to his Middle East origins, you made the situation appear as if people in the Middle East are abusive, defiant, and a negative influence upon this naive American girl.
The aunt said that he called her a bitch and she said that men in America do not speak like this to women. Who are you kidding? Verbal abuse is rampant in America, as is domestic violence, so please dont think that American men are superior to any other group of men.
Again, if this boy was an Israeli boy, would it be such a big deal to warrant national media attention?
The girl made her choice. If the FBI said they did nothing wrong, who are we to judge Katherine, Abdulla or the Middle East?

I would be interested in an update on what happened with Katherine. There were so many unanswered questions after the two original episodes. Does anyone know the family that could provide some answers? Or if anyone from the show posts on here, I know many viewers would like to know what has happened since.

 

If I were her parents, I'd be worried too and with good reason.  This is a part of the world that is NOT free, is NOT a miniature version of the United States.  They behead people over there simply for denying Islam, go to snuffx.com if you don't believe me, look at Nick Berg's beheading.  It's not that safe for anyone to be there, whether you're American, Israeli, or Saudi.  Blame it on the extreme lslamic jihadists, trying to spread their caliphate, Hamas, Al Qaeda and Hezbollah, you cannot negotiate with those people, they will kill you without thinking twice about it.  They use their own children as suicide bombers, they're equal opportunity butchers, as far as I'm concerned. 

 

I do wonder if this is his tactic to convert American women to Islam and then use them as suicide bombers as a "screw u" to the "American devils".    In fact, I don't think Katherine is his only victim...er paramour.  But, she made up her own brainwashed mind, and who are her family to be concerned <eye roll>?  If he was so in love with her, why doesn't HE come HERE?  Why does she have to go over there?  I wouldn't.