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Topic : 06/17 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:39:52 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/15/07) Dr. Phil continues the story of a young woman who made international headlines when she ran away to Palestine to be with a man she met on the Internet when she was just 16. Katherine was stopped by the FBI and brought back home, but two years later and now an adult, she’s left the United States again to be with Abdullah, the man she says she loves and wants to marry. Katherine’s terrified family thinks she is being brainwashed, and may never be allowed to return home. They say they’ve witnessed Abdullah’s violent temper when he’s verbally abused her over the phone. Now, in an exclusive interview via satellite, Dr. Phil speaks with Katherine and Abdullah together. Is Abdullah lying about letting Katherine return home? Is this couple already married? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

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November 19, 2007, 10:50 pm PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

Quote From: bluitexan20000

y do yal assume the worst? maybe he learned the wrong english words sounds like his english is kida poor i see no marks on her maybe they do love eachother she needs to make mistakes to learn from them not all arab men are bad yal always assume the worst

Parents complain about the lyrics of some music, and bad offensing language on tv shows and movies. People, do you not realise that this what some people in other countries think is the "normal" way to behave in the United States? What else do they have to go by? If they have not had the chance/opportunity to travel? To visit the US? Why would they think otherwise?

I am sure there are people living in rural America who have the wrong idea about large cities like LA and NY.

Yes, some people think using the words b..., and wh... , f..., and m/f... is how people converse in the United States.  After all, they do watch Chris Rock, and listen to explicit music!

 
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November 20, 2007, 2:11 am PST

next?

I saw the first two episodes, but on the last one there was a preview of a third.  Can't seem to find out when that is going to be on the air?

 

ALSO...i feel it is very important that you include links at the bottom of this story that will educate american girls about this culture that is very abusive to women!!!!

This poor young gal is so innocent, she has no clue as to what she is getting herself into.  I'm sure she thinks she's dealing with people of her own kind, when in fact that is the furthest thing from the truth.  Here's a little start for young women who might think the Middle Eastern Muslim Culture is something they may want to explore!!!!

_________

 

'No to killing, yes to life': Honor killings have risen since 2005, when these Palestinian women protested in Ramallah." 

http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/1120/p01s01-wome.html

A few weeks ago, the body of the young mother of four was found in a garbage dump east of town. Police arrested two of the woman's male cousins for having trapped Ms. Wahdan and shot her to death, committing the third "honor killing" in Qalqilya last month.

 

 

 
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November 20, 2007, 2:35 am PST

Seeing is believing

Quote From: veryoutraged

Parents complain about the lyrics of some music, and bad offensing language on tv shows and movies. People, do you not realise that this what some people in other countries think is the "normal" way to behave in the United States? What else do they have to go by? If they have not had the chance/opportunity to travel? To visit the US? Why would they think otherwise?

I am sure there are people living in rural America who have the wrong idea about large cities like LA and NY.

Yes, some people think using the words b..., and wh... , f..., and m/f... is how people converse in the United States.  After all, they do watch Chris Rock, and listen to explicit music!

When it comes to arab men, and the middle eastern culture of islam, one MUST assume the worst.  What we see is what she is getting.  The news if filled with mercy killings, and islamic culture murders.  It's not the specific words this jerk uses that are upsetting, its his abusive nature, and control.  There needs to be an immediate intervention, and this child needs to be educated as to what she is getting herself into.  As far as there being abusive men in the usa, i do agree that we do have our share.  HOWEVER, the difference is this.  Our religion is not teaching us to abuse women, there are no laws supporting this abuse as there are in the islamic culture.  One cannot compare large cities in the Usa to the gaza strip!!! 

Last but not least.  Not all muslims are terrorists, but a very large majority of terrorists in this day and age are muslim.

I used to talk with a poor woman from saudi , who was a school teacher, she could not drive, was not allowed out alone.  She was jailed once for speaking up against this policy.  She refused to marry because she wittnessed her father with his several wives, abusing his mother.  She was between a rock and a hard place, unable to ever leave the country as she was denied any kind of formal ID that would allow her to go anwhere else in the world. 

Pray for this poor gal, and all the rest of the women over there being abused.  There is no light at the end of the tunnel for them...

 

 
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November 20, 2007, 3:11 am PST

I agree--bring her back even if for now she hates you for it

Quote From: doodi20

i agree with you Julia 100% because i was born in israel too and lived there for 32 years before coming to the US. i think that the next show will be bringing her body to the US. the american people don't know the muslims mentality and don't understand how dengerous is her situation. if i was her mother, i will get on the plan and get her back, whether she like it or not. it's a life of death situation, sooner or later.

She is going to endure horrible hardship, and heartache, if she even claims to love him (and suffering  from his brutality is not love).

 
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November 20, 2007, 3:26 am PST

Meant to say all those years in the title

Quote From: dreamsurfbetsy

The first name of the poet is long gone, but the last name is Goodman.  I had taken it out of a magazine and carried it always all those years.  It rings so true.

 

Sting of the Scorpion

 

your icy voice put out the stars

it cracked my heart and broke it in splinters

your tone as cold as Siberian winters

 

   but I promise to soon forget

   the contract we almost made

  you'll feel the swift response of an

     equal

   as the dream begins to fade

 

I'll drown you in pseudo-kindness

and a casual, friendly glance

I can almost imagine your blindness

   as I watch and wait for the chance

   to  suddenly---cruelly---make you

     know

  how easy it was to let you go.

 

 

Even though my own escape was 9 years ago,  just writing those words of the poem I carried for so long really shook me up.  It was hours before I could sleep last night.  The words alone brought back the pain, humiliation & terror that I felt back then.
 

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November 20, 2007, 6:26 am PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

Quote From: pawsonya

Probably not all of them do but I have heard many muslim men on the internet call western women these names. If a woman has sex before marriage then they "assume" them to be sluts.

Our cultures could not be further apart if we were on different planets.

Um, no.

 

I am white (scottish) married to a man who was born and raised in Yemen. He has never once called me anything either than my name or our nicknames for eachother. I know many, many, women who are married to Muslim men who are either a convert like me or are still Christian or Jewish - I can only think of one bad scenario and it is because the guy is out drinking, partying, etc and still calls his girlfriend bad names because she did that stuff before they even met. He calls her that stuff not because he is Muslim and 'most' of the Muslim men are programmed that way - no. It is because he is a jerk - plain and simple.

 

If you think for one second that all middle eastern and/or Muslim women have lead lives that are so virtuous and pure from day 1 - think again. Sadly, there is a growing culture in the middle east where even while the woman is veiled head to toe, she is using her bluetooth to pick up guys and vice versa. Every man and woman, regardless of race or religion, will be tempted to go off a path of virtue. Some take it, some don't. What people also don't realize is that there is a HUGE difference between a practising Muslim and one who was just 'born' Muslim and doesn't follow any of the teachings. Non-practising Muslims are usually the type you meet at the bar, through their girlfriend or boyfriend, in house parties, etc.

 

If you get your advice from one of the 'Muslims' mentioned above, trust me, you aren't getting correct information....

 

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November 20, 2007, 6:29 am PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

Quote From: veryoutraged

Parents complain about the lyrics of some music, and bad offensing language on tv shows and movies. People, do you not realise that this what some people in other countries think is the "normal" way to behave in the United States? What else do they have to go by? If they have not had the chance/opportunity to travel? To visit the US? Why would they think otherwise?

I am sure there are people living in rural America who have the wrong idea about large cities like LA and NY.

Yes, some people think using the words b..., and wh... , f..., and m/f... is how people converse in the United States.  After all, they do watch Chris Rock, and listen to explicit music!

You are right on part of that. I have spoken to people who are in University for English language studies overseas and they swear and when I tell them it is a swear word, they are shocked. Their teachers tell them this is normal, acceptable conversational language.
 

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November 20, 2007, 6:38 am PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

Quote From: shelly_80

I TOTALLY AGREE!  You know, considering that most American women practice "their right" to fight back, it shocks me that an arab man would ever want one.  They think women are to be completely submissive and not say a word.   On the other hand, it may not have anything to do with being American or not.  They may just seek the ones that are easily minipulated into being brain washed.  It is very clear that Katherine is one of those women.   I don't believe FOR A SECOND that he's with her to get his greencard!  If he were, he wouldn't have taken two years.  I strictly think he wanted a young, naive girl he could abuse, like the rest.  I also believe once he got her to Palistine or wherever, he thought he had the "cat in the bag" until Dr. Phil stepped in.  I may take a lot of smack for this one from a lot arabs/muslims and those married to them but it's my "rightful" opinion as an AMERICAN WOMAN.

Have you ever MET a Muslim woman?? An Arabic Woman? Do you have ANY idea what goes on in a Arab or Muslim house hold?

 

I am in complete awe of how much people actually play into and believe in stereotypes - it is absolutely ridiculous. I encourage you to go out and when you see a veiled woman, say 'Hello', maybe even smile. Maybe, you should go and visti even online Muslimah chat rooms/forums and get the real deal. I will tell you you opinion will be completely different than it is now.

 

To be quite honest though, your opinions are overtly racist and are full of slander. you are entitled to your opinion as an AMERICAN WOMAN, but as such, you have the means, time and resources available to you so that you can come to an INFORMED decision. If I can tell you one thing, is that the news reports on what makes money, so don't be 'brainwashed' into thinking what the news tell you to think...

 

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November 20, 2007, 6:50 am PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

Quote From: michaelac

Do you know what "in context means"? It means IN ARABIC, with the explanation from the scholars (people who are studied in Islam, jurisprudence, fiqh, Arabic language, history, etc) based on the hadith that show when the verse was revealed and what was happening when it was revealed. That is the context I am talking about not the verse that comes before and the verse that comes after the one Valeria is referring to.

 

The "hunting of Jews" is based on a specific battle fought between the Muslims and a specific Jewish tribe. This is an established historical fact and anyone who has actually studied Islam knows that this was not a mandate for all time but for a specific tribe who broke a treaty with the Muslims. Do you want me to find the actual hadith on the subject? BTW, I am not hiding the fact that God commanded those to fight against this tribe but it was a specific case as I mentioned.

 

I already posted tons of stuff on beating women. It is ludicrous and not supported by the Quran or any hadith. Period.

 

There is also no text about "killing infidels" in the Quran in fact it talks about the EXACT opposite. I have also posted several statements on this with verses from the Quran. Search my name and you can see those.

 

No one Muslim omits verses from the Quran. This is considered leaving the fold of Islam. That is definitely NOT what I am saying or have said in these posts.

 

The Quran is the revelation given to Muhammad in Arabic anything else is not the Quran. This is a major difference between Islam and specifically Christianity as you mentioned. We do not have the right to attempt to change Islam because we might not like something. This then turns from worship of God to worship and following one's own desires.

 

As a convert, I can tell you that people convert after VERY serious study. It is not a lifestyle you adopt just for a change in atmosphere, to snag a man or whatever crazy ideas people may have out there. It is about true belief and when we have questions we can ask a knowledgeable person whether at the mosque or otherwise and there are always answers to those questions. Those answers are based on PROOF. There is a huge emphasis on this in Islam. No one can say something about Islam without textual evidence. The textual evidence is Quran and hadith (recorded sayings and actions of the Prophet).

 

I am also a convert and was absolutely outraged at the comment as well - I have nothing to add to your comment except that as a convert myself, that simple fact that thq Quran was not changed even one SINGLE accent since the time of the Prophet (Peace be upon him) was so unique and beautiful.

 

To the original poster - Where people get off changing the Bible and Torahs I have no idea. Why would you change something that was sent by God in your own belief? What, God messed up and you want to be more catered towards? Come on, we all know that isn't sensical.

 

Even in Hadith, there is a very strict 'coding' system where scholars of hadith basically look at each person the narration was related by (chain of narrators) and categorize it from 'Weak' to 'Sahih/Perfect' Only the strong ones are actually used for rulings in law. Why would Muslims take what has been perfected by God and change it? Just so we can get some pork or have some alcohol? Or maybe it would be so we can have pre-marital sex (Which BTW, last I checked, is till unlawful in Christian theology as well) - Uh, NO! Muslims chose to cater towards God, after all, He created us. Our parents have rights over us, so do our spouses and friends and children, does God not have rights over us? Thnk about it. What is praying 5 times a day? What harm does THAT do? Considering He is the creator, I thinkI can take out 20 minutes of my day and pray. i don't think it is much....

 

Funny thing is, Dr. Phil never once mentioned ANYTHING about the fact he is Muslim - it was you, the viewers who have shown your bigotry on this board and made this an anti-Muslim conversation. It is sad that Americans have every resource in the world and pride themselves on their level of understanding, acceptance and eduation about other cultures, yet you chose to remain ignorant of the #2 largest religion in the world. You allow big corporatioins and news casts to tell you about the world around you. It truely is a shame.

 

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November 20, 2007, 6:52 am PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

Quote From: ts2007

It is very frustrating for me to think about this story. On one hand there is a very arrogant, immature girl playing grown-up and she has done something incredibly stupid.  For that, I understand the pain her family is going through.  On the other hand, how the heck did this happen in the first place? Why didn't this mother know what her daughter was doing at 16 years old? Why was this girl allowed to spend so much time on the Internet and on the phone without the mother knowing what she was doing and who she was talking to? This parent is lacking and should have been paying more attention to what her child was doing.  It is so frustrating that she clearly neglected her daughter and then when her daughter did something stupid, she runs to Dr. Phil to fix her parenting problems.  I don't mean to sound so harsh but this is a story we hear time and time again.  It's two-fold, this is not the first girl to get sucked in by a Middle-Eastern man and get trapped in a land that is an enemy of our country.  Americans are not liked throughout the world and we can't just go where ever we want, especially not women.  These people need to stop being so arrogant and thinking that Americans can do whatever we want.  It's not true and many people out there want to kill us.  Love does not protect Christian Americans on the Gaza Strip.  The idea that we can go there either shows how stupid or arrogant we can be.  The second problem is children on the Internet getting into grown-up problems and the parents have no idea what is going on. Why do these children have so many privileges?  Parents, you decided to give birth and infect the Earth with these people for the rest of us to deal with, so raise them and pay attention to what they are doing or don't have them at all.  This situation is ridiculous and should not have happened in the first place.  I hope this story will make more parents stand up and pay attention to what their children are doing on the Internet.  Kids do not need computers in their bedrooms and they shouldn't be online all hours of the day and night.  Spoiling your children can get you in this same situation and I think we can all agree it is not worth it.  I also hope this story will make people realize that there are places we don't belong and we need to stay away from those places instead of making trouble that the tax payers have to clean up. 

 

I hope this girl comes home alive.  I hope she is not brainwashed and her family can get through to her.  I hope the abuse she has suffered has been minimal, because face it she has been abused so we can't fool ourselves.  I just hope her wounds will heal and she will wise up and realize she needs to grow up and act responsibly.

I don't understand - where does this 'brainwashing' sentiment come from? I think about 80% of the posts have had this phrase in it. What exactly does that mean? How can he brainwash her? My becoming Muslim? Come on, are you serious???
 
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