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Topic : 06/17 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:39:52 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/15/07) Dr. Phil continues the story of a young woman who made international headlines when she ran away to Palestine to be with a man she met on the Internet when she was just 16. Katherine was stopped by the FBI and brought back home, but two years later and now an adult, she’s left the United States again to be with Abdullah, the man she says she loves and wants to marry. Katherine’s terrified family thinks she is being brainwashed, and may never be allowed to return home. They say they’ve witnessed Abdullah’s violent temper when he’s verbally abused her over the phone. Now, in an exclusive interview via satellite, Dr. Phil speaks with Katherine and Abdullah together. Is Abdullah lying about letting Katherine return home? Is this couple already married? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 15, 2007, 12:35 pm PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

me myself i learned at a vey young age about how men will brainwash you into things. iam not bashing all men. young men are just as lethel as older guys because older people are teaching him. ihad my daughter at 18. once she was born i was on my own, homeless living with family members who mistreated me. i had to go on welfare and live in hotels and finally a shelter. my parents did not even offer me to stay with them. my family members put me and my 3 month in the street. i stayed witha friend untill welfare placed me. the friends i thought i had were not my friends.  the man i thought i was in love with acted like he never knew me. he never offered me a dime or a place to sleep. my dumb butt had another child with him and he became worse. he never did a thing for either of the kids. no child support.70,000 dollars is what he owes me. it was times when i did not know how i was going to pay my rent or bills. he was no where to be found. my kids are now 18 and 20. i do not have to explain anything because they saw what dear ole dad didn't do. there dad has other kids that he did not raise. he is a jailbird and a drug addict. this child needs to leave this boy now. he has other intentions and that is to dominate an american  woman. he will be a big man in his country if he accomplishes that. this girl is so naive and i bet she has done the deed with him so now it will be even harder to convince her to leave. because she is now thinking that sex is love. no dear sex is just what it is sex. no ,matter how and who does it. this boy is a insecure child who has to dominate women to feel good about himself. my ex is still munipulating people and that is the drug addict mentality. still making babies. i now say "what was i thinking" and also my mother did try to warn me. that is why i tell my girls to get an education and wait until a good man comes along to have kids with and marry.a mistake at a young age is hard to get over. it will haunt you. so always at least try and do the right thing and think before it all goes down.
 
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November 15, 2007, 12:39 pm PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

Quote From: aquarelle

This girl is in so much danger and seems totally oblivious to how bad her situation really is.  I'm a westerner living in the Middle East married to a local man.  She doesn't even begin to know what she is in for.  Her boyfriend's family already consider her a slut.  The disrespect they have shown her family by flying her over there is hard for an American to grasp.  In the Middle East the honor vs.shame concept is so deep that a Jordanian father would literally kill his daughter for seeing a guy in the same town, and she wouldn't have permission to go anywhere alone.  To have actually brought a girl over, unchaperoned, makes her unclean in their eyes already, and her agreeing to it, makes her character completeley vile to them.  That is why they would have no reason to consider her needs, feelings, or safety in any way.  They will use her for whatever sinister purpose they have and then drop her. 

By the way, she is totally wrong to think they can't marry because she's not Muslim. Muslim men can marry anyone they want and the children become their property.  She may already be married and not know it.  If they have her passport and bring two male witnesses to register the marriage, she doesn't even need to be present.  If she does get pregnant, those kids won't be hers, and Abdallah can use them to get to America.  I'm sure there are reasons why he hasn't applied for a visa yet.  Maybe he or someone in his family is blacklisted for terror.

Whatever the reason, this girl has got to get out of there as soon as possible.

I was married to a Palestinian muslim man for 9 years.  I travelled to the Middle East several times.  Also, I have experience with former in-laws, friends, etc... who marry American women for a green card.  Although my ex-husband did not marry me for a green card (he already had one), I can tell you that, based on my previous experience, it appears that Abdullah is merely trying to get a green card.  I base this on the fact that they are muslim but they apparently do not have an issue with Katherine not dressing conservatively.  I am certain that he would insist that she dress a little more conservatively if, in fact, he was truly interested in having a legitimate marriage with her.  He is trying to get a fiance visa because it is quicker and easier to get that visa instead of a visa based on an existing marriage.  He is pretty much keeping her hostage until he gets a visa.  By keeping her there, the Americans have a vested interest in granting him permission to come here.  It is not quite as easy as he is making it seem for a young Palestinian man to get a visa to the United States, especially post 911.  Katherine's mother's concern about him making her pregnant and then keeping the child in case she returns is a legitimate concern if the marriage were valid.  I would argue, though, that he is only interested in obtaining his citizenship.  At that point, he will divorce her and marry a muslim woman.  It would be interesting for you to follow up on this after a few years to see if I am right.  FYI, if you check on the Secretary of State website regarding Egypt, for example, you will see a warning that these men lure American women over the internet in an attempt to marry them for a green card.  I am sure that Palestine, Jordan, etc... are exactly the same. 

 

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November 15, 2007, 12:41 pm PST

Worried for this young woman

I am so worried for this young woman.  When I began watching Part 1 yesterday, I immediately got  a bad feeling.  I hope she sticks to her word and comes home.  I hope she stays home because there is no good reason for her to be in not only a danger zone, but with a man that obviously cannot be trusted.
 
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November 15, 2007, 12:47 pm PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

Quote From: rissa140

As someone who has a Myspace profile, I just have to say that its not the site's fault for what people CHOOSE to do on there. And like the other poster, I'm sick of people blaming things on the site in general. Are there lots of creeps on there like any other site? Absolutely! BUT, there are also a lot of good, honest people on there who are looking for new friends, to reconnect with old friends, stay in contact with family members, find love (which is not wrong to do), even networking for jobs. Musicians, film makers & comedians use it to promote their work & gain audiences. I myself, have met some very nice people from that site, on & off it. With that said, I dont think Myspace is a place for someone under 16. I hate to say it but, I even have cousins on there who are younger than that & I wonder what the hell they're doing on there & its sad to say that some of their parents aren't watching what they're doing, so I like to check up on them. Anyway, most people/parents don't know that Myspace has a number of ways that you can be safer on there.

 

*YOU control WHAT info is on your profile

*YOU control WHO can look at your profile & pictures, by making it PRIVATE

*YOU control WHO can add you as a friend

*YOU control WHAT comments you want to accept

*IF someone starts harassing you, YOU can REPORT & BLOCK them

 

There may be more that isnt coming to mind... but the thing is that, some people choose not to use those features & then IF, GOD FORBID, something bad happens, they're quick to blame someone else or blame the site without looking at their part in it or what they could've done to be safer. This isn't the case for EVERYONE, but certainly enough people. People need to start being responsible for THEIR OWN actions.

 

Also, I'm tired of people saying/implying that the Internet is the only place where you can come into contact with creeps, especially creeps who pretend to be honest people. I hear people saying all the time that the net isnt the way to meet someone, specifically someone honest & decent because anyone can be charming on the net. And yes, anyone can be charming on the net, however, you can meet someone who pretends to be charming & decent anywhere... on the street, in the grocery store, working for charity, there are even some cases where others meet those kinds of people in CHURCH (no offense to anyone, just saying). And by the age of 16, you should very well know what's right, wrong, appropriate & inappropriate.

I agree that it's not the site's fault.   But parents to need to know what their kids are doing on line.  And it the word of Dr. Phil "parents need to do whatever it takes" to keep their kids from making wrong choices, or getting involved in the wrong things.   I too have a myspace account, which I got when my daughter, then 16 was hanging around with some kids I didn't like.   I did this to keep an eye on her and her "friends".   I made it clear to her that I kept an eye on them.   And when I saw things I didn't approve of I confronted her.    Luckily over time she saw the light and no longer associates with those people.  But I agree that it was my responsibility, as a parent, to know what was going on and do "whateve it took" to raise my daughter right.  

 

That said, I feel for Shawn.  She must be going through hell.   And I hate the magic age of 18.   In the eyes of the law Katherine is an adult, but just because someone turns 18 doesn't mean they are instantly wise enough to see the writing on the wall in these situataions.    Katherine is 100% in danger and needs to be gotten out of there no matter what it takes.

 
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November 15, 2007, 12:51 pm PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

Quote From: shisha4

Are you actually saying that in Egypt you cannot leave without your husband's permission even if you have a U.S. passport? Because that isn't true actually, if you hold a European or American passport you are allowed to leave. She's in Palestine, not Saudi Arabia or Iran. There are U.S. embassies in both Israel and Jordan that she could have access to. Also women in Islam are not just "incubators." Women are most important in Islam when it comes to children, she is who will be around them more and will teach them more. Just because you had a bad experience doesn't make that the norm.
In many muslim countries, women cannot leave without their husband's permission regardless of whether they are American or otherwise.  You should check out the warnings on the US Department of State website for details.
 
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November 15, 2007, 12:54 pm PST

GET KATHERINE HOME NOW!

I  have to admit that sitting in front of the tv in my own living room watching the live interview between Katherine, Adullah and Katherine's family boils me mad! Katherine is an american and she was enticed by  this man at the age of 16 via MySpace then eventually led her to flying on the other side of the world to me in my eyes is that Adullah is holding Katherine hostage! She has no business being in a war-zone country especially our troops are over there right now and with everything since sept 11th... THAT GIRL IS BY FAR THE DUMBEST I'VE EVER SEEN AND IT IS APPAULING AND SAD THAT SUCH A PRETTY AMERICAN GIRL HAD SUBJECTED HERSELF TO DANGER AND HASN'T HAD A CLUE WHAT COULD HAPPEN TO HER IF SHE STAYED WITH THAT IDIOT! WAKE UP KATHERINE! GET A GRIP GIRL AND GET HOME TO YOUR FAMILY WHERE YOU ARE LOVED, RESPECTED, AND SAFE!

DR. PHIL! PLEASE USE YOUR INFLUENCES WITH THE US AUTHORITY TO GET THAT GIRL HOME! She does not need to be in the middle east! It doesn't matter if she's 18! This all started when she was 16! Addullah's father has to be held accountable! IT IS JUST WRONG and I got a bad feeling about this!
 
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November 15, 2007, 1:02 pm PST

bring her home

Part three of this series should prove to be more honest in what is really going on.  This should open peoples eyes as to what being involved over in a country and with a man you no nothing about.
 
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November 15, 2007, 1:02 pm PST

11/15 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

 i have a friend who is muslim. her religion has caused her to stay with an abusive man. yes non religious women do it also. but it is sad when your religion makes you stay because you think your not being a good wife if you leave. god , allah, wants us to be happy not miserable. the higher power does not want someone knocking us upside the head. or holding us hostage. now my friend is still staying with the hubby. even though she did let him know that she wants out. she claims she no longer loves him and she wants to go back to the middle east to be with family. they have a child who is a teen. he will graduate soon but she does not want to leave him. if i were her i would say hey stay with your dad. hell i'll pay a little child support to be happy. but this is out of guilt she left the her first muslim hubby and left her first baby with her family and came to the usa. she never raised this child. at one time she claimed to only have one child. but she told us her story and that is how we found out about child number 1. i think she should head for the hills this time around. if these kids want to be their fathers hey let them a single dad is no better than a single mom.

 
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November 15, 2007, 1:03 pm PST

get out while you can

I pray Katherine ,that you understand what you are doing! Go home girl. The only ones that love you are YOUR FAMILY! PLEASE don't marry this muslim man. You will regret it, trust me! Go home Katherine.
 
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November 15, 2007, 1:04 pm PST

What is this girl thinking?!

She's so beautiful and there have got to be so many great american boys ( that her family approves of), that would jump at the oppurtunity to take her out on a date. Shes needs to be worried about college and getting her first apartment, not marriage and getting a stranger, from myspace, a visa to the united states.

 

I though it was Awsome when Dr. Phil, called him out, on not having a house in California. He was definetly busted in a lie! That poor mother and her family. Katherine is a very selfish person for putting her family through all this pain. I will keep her family in my prayers and i hope Katherine opens her eyes and realize that if this man really loves her so much, he would want her to have a great relationship with her parents, as with him to.  Shes making very adult and life changing decisions that could potentialy change the rest of her life for the worse.

 

I hope the Dr. Phil show does an update show on this particular situation.

 

Oh and i have one more question, i have a lot of friends that are cosmotologists and not one of them are millionaries. Do you think they are hiring at the salon he works at? lol

 

Good Luck to the family and to everyone and Happy Holidays!!

 
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