Topic : 06/17 A Daughter in Danger? Part 2

You know i think that you are right BUT he has lied to her parents, he has beat her, he has verbally abused her.....now tell me you wouldn't be worried or upset with him and think that he is the "devil" so you say.  I think it is so wrong when the women put up with being verbally abused by their men or being controlled....It is ridiculous.  I just dont think Katherine realizes what she is doing.  I was young and thought I was in love when I was 18 and me and my bf thought we were going to get married.  Now i am married to someone else and cant stand my ex.  So i dont think she knows what she wants.  It was an easy way out for her!

Being a practicing muslim as well as coming from a long line of men who practice islam properly, they know that in islam a woman's divine right is to be treated with respect and kindness.

Every woman no matter what religion needs to be taught that they should ALWAYS be talked to with kindness and respect, this is a basic human right (and God given right). Unfortunatley women don't always know that or arent' raised with those teachings. Some ddin't have an example of a man treating them kindly. Maybe this girl had an abusive father or maybe she doens't know how a man is supposed to treat her. Maybe her mom dates countless men who beat her as well? Unfortunately you only know what you have seen and learned. Some women who come from abusive upbringings think that's how a man is supposed to treat them. They don't know otherwise.

If she is being abused, I hope she realizes she NEVER needs to live lke that and DOES NOT deserve it. No woman does!

   It really amazes me how children can get involved in things there not supposed to around the house without the parents knowing about what there doing.  Such as my space, chatting online with people, meeting people online, and most of all hopping on a plane and meeting a boy overseas. I think parents really need to get clued in to what there children are up to. It just comes across to the parents like GEE I didn't know she could do that........

   Katherine I don't think realized the full danger that shes in. Shes crossed overseas into a dangerous area. Just to meet a guy she knows hardly nothing about.  That is a dangerous and immature choice she made even at 18. It wouldn't surprise me, if she stayed over there they would eventually do more harm to her than she realizes.

You are wise to be concerned. It is hard enough to make a relationship/marriage work when both are in the same country without going outside of it to meet and marry a person from another culture and upbringing you don't know. Some go there and don't return or are locked in a room all day. Then there are the ones who treat the person wonderful. It is very easy to do that for a short time - until the marriage is over and that person is in the USA.  Anyone can pretend they are loving and caring online.

Many of these men are very abusive. They were brought up in another culture. I don't know of anyone who has had it work out for them but do know ones who have regretted the day they met that person online.

The man on Dr Phil is clearly a liar. He has told only lies so far. You can see that he didn't own that property that he says he "sold".  He looked like a person who wants to be in total control. He never ever plans to leave his family and come here. That was another of his many lies. As soon as this girl leaves he will be online tellling his lies to another person on the internet. He is probably doing that already. It was her reaching out to him and saying she wanted to stay longer because she likes it there! She doesn't but I bet he makes her say that or just doesn't want to see his anger.  

I know a woman who is 51 years old and has already got her visa to visit and marry her online guy from Morocco in Africa. They have never met in person. I have talked to her and others have too but so far it has done no good. Her children are concerned for her. Some over there have a lifetime goal of coming to the USA. They will say or do anything to get this accomplished. Other pretend they want to come here to get the woman there. They know the things to say and some even read from a script. These people can be very convincing but it is lies. The most educated smart people have been lied to and believed it.

I talk to people like this every day when they contact me on yahoo messenger. Some just want out of their country but most are scammers. Those people have made billions of dollars scamming people out of money using the "love game".  Some are boys at the cafe and some are men. So many men in the USA are scammed by "women" who are really men pretending to be women over there. The dating and singles sites are full of them using stolen pics.

You might want to google romancescams. I have never been scammed but just about everyone on the group (11,000) members have been or know someone who has been. Some have lost everything to these scammers.

Ann

I remember arguing with my parents over boys in my younger years.  No matter what they said (negative) about him, I would stick up for him.  I think that's human nature.  I feel a better approach to this girl is to give her an education on the culture she's dealing with.  How the men there think of their women, what "place" a woman has in that culture, what role a man plays in their culture.  It's totally different than anything she has ever experienced. 

Instead of just showing her the movie (Not Without My Daughter), let her sit down with that lady face-to-face.  Hear first hand the experiences of actually living in that culture.  Guaranteed, SHE will be expected to conform to him, not the reverse.

I think as long as she hears how bad he is, how wrong he is, all the faults he has, she will fiercely defend him.

Judy

Here is some food for thought;when Mohammed was bringing converts to Islam through the sword, he allowed his men to kill a women who wrote poetry to be slayed while she was breastfeeding her baby.  Also, in the Quoran, it talks about if their are men that come to the home often, before they can see you unveiled, you have to breastfeed them.  Doesn't this kind of stuff make you feel sick to your stomach?  And you still want to raise your children Muslim?  I am married to anEgyptian Christian and we are raising our children with the knowledge of the Quoran but with the Wisdom and the Absolute Truth of the Bible.