Quote From: boredingcmI want to start by saying that I love the show, watch it every day, and generally agree with your approach to your guests problems. It is for exactly this reason that I felt compelled to write to you today regarding your recent airing of A Daughter in Distress, both parts of which I watched with my mother and younger sister. We were unanimous in our agreement (and let me tell you that is not easily accomplished) that you definitely missed the mark on this one Dr. Phil.
I remember her story from 2 years ago, and truly at 16 years of age she was not worldly enough to understand what she was embarking on. However, I wonder that her parents did not demand to confirm the details of her proposed trip to Canada with other parents/guardians no matter how trustworthy the child, she is still a child at 16! Plug in a little!
On the other hand, we all felt you severely over-dramatized the age difference between the two 16 and 20 hardly calls for the title of older man, and now at 18 and 22 it barely registers on the inappropriateness scale! Had he even been in his 30s it might have been cause for concern, but they were in high school at the same time! When a senior and a sophomore date nobody calls the FBI!
When she was returned to the U.S. she made no secret of the fact that she would continue to speak with Abdallah and her parents allowed her to continue her online relationship with (I assume) supervision. She further agreed not to run away to meet him until she turned 18. She has now been speaking with this man for 2 solid years, and is still smitten. Not only does this completely pass the puppy love test, but proves to me that she has gotten to know Abdallah very well and is as informed as she can be under the circumstances to make a more educated decision this time around.
On that note, the moment she turned 18 the law declares that she has the mental capacity to make such a decision on her own which necessarily means that you, Dr. Phil, can no longer refer to her as running away. Her parents were fully informed of her plans and intentions prior to her trip, and if her mother was so concerned why didnt she arrange to accompany her?! Even better if her mother had offered to chaperone a visit before her 18th birthday, to ensure that she returned safely home!!!
I can understand the familys concern over the ongoing conflict in that area of the world, but to say that she is in constant and imminent danger just by being over there is simply wrong. Showing images of armed soldiers patrolling the streets and buildings exploding is sensationalist and unbalanced. It would be the same of depicting America with images of 9/11 alone. Again, I understand the concern, but seriously doubt she is in any real danger.
Regarding Abdallah himself, he has shown no indication that his intentions are not honorable. True, he may have lied to her mother about his progress with regards to obtaining a VISA, but I also have no doubt that she was not asking him in any manner I might recognize as polite. He probably lied just to shut her up. I probably would have too! Calling her aunt a bitch was undiplomatic, but also probably after a lengthy bout of yet again defending himself against this familys continuous onslaught of accusations. He may have called Katherine names, but hes acknowledged that this isnt appropriate behavior and that indicates he has a chance of improving this bad habit he said hes going to stop doing that. What more can you ask for?! Why do you believe an American man when he makes such a promise, but not a Middle Eastern one Dr. Phil?
Furthermore, it was unfair to bring up the theory that if Abdallah did not marry Katherine he would seek out another American girl to marry. Perhaps he has a preference for American women, perhaps he is drawn to their education; empowerment; and simply their liberation, which is so vastly in contrast to the idea of a Middle Eastern womans. He has given no reason to assume its only because he wants a green card.
After seeing their interviews, I was satisfied that the two were crazy about each other and that Katherine was being well cared for and in no danger. More than that she was having fun! This is probably the biggest adventure shes ever been on, and who are you to say she needs to cut it short? Especially in such a devious manner, promising her aid but admonishing her family to bombard her to change her mind the minute she lands on the tarmac! For shame Dr. Phil!
The bottom line is that she is an adult (albeit a new one) and these are now her decisions to make, for better or worse. Her family needs to stop acting like marrying an Islamic man is the end of the world, and start trying to accept the couple as is. The only people in this whole thing being honest and adult about the matter are Katherine and Abdallah. Leave them alone so they can get to know each other in peace!
Not only is he a liar..........he is an abuser!! Adult or not, I would be snatching my daughter out of the clutches of that guy! You clearly have never seen an abuser up close and personal or you wouldn't have missed the obvious signs. For those of us who have seen the pattern of abuse in him.........it makes us terrified for her.
Not to mention, you cannot deny that culturally, she does NOT have the same power as a woman.
Good for her family for doing what they need to do to get her home!!
(Original Air Date: 11/15/07) Dr. Phil continues the story of a young woman who made international headlines when she ran away to Palestine to be with a man she met on the Internet when she was just 16. Katherine was stopped by the FBI and brought back home, but two years later and now an adult, she’s left the United States again to be with Abdullah, the man she says she loves and wants to marry. Katherine’s terrified family thinks she is being brainwashed, and may never be allowed to return home. They say they’ve witnessed Abdullah’s violent temper when he’s verbally abused her over the phone. Now, in an exclusive interview via satellite, Dr. Phil speaks with Katherine and Abdullah together. Is Abdullah lying about letting Katherine return home? Is this couple already married? Talk about the show here.
