When I had my first boyfriend at the age of 15, I first thought that he was a nice young man. It didn't take long to realize that he was a Psycho. He was jealous of anyone that I had anything to do with, even my female friends, and worse, even my own mother. He was also so jealous when it came to another guy looking at me or even just looking my direction, he would start a huge fight with the guy. I'm going to try and keep this short. I found out that he used drugs, which I did not and I was scared of his temper and threats. He would tell me that if my mom ever tried to break us up that he would kill her. And I believed it, I know for a fact that he was capable of it. He also stalked me and found me no matter where I was at. We were vacationing in La Jolla, Ca. one summer and he managed to hunt down the beach cottage that we had rented even though I had never told him what part of San Diego we were staying in. That's how tenacious and controlling he was. He always threatened me and would threaten my family to keep me from leaving him. He even raped me once while I had pneumonia. I couldn't stand to be anywhere near him or for him to ever touch me, It made me sick. I actually would get sick. His drug use began to escalate and he started stealing items from our house to sell for drugs. I have no idea what kind if drugs he was on, but he was getting very out of control. He even stole checks from the back of my checkbook and I would start bouncing checks all over town. At least he would manage to pay me back, by stealing from other people I'm sure. He was living with a room mate at the very end and he stole thousands of dollars in rare coins. Finally, one day, he confessed to me that he was "shooting up". That was it for me! Fine, let him kill me, I couldn't take it anymore. So I broke up with him. I was 17 at the time. I got away from this man although he began to stalk me with a vengeance. He would call and threaten my life, etc. I would never go back to him. He even broke into our house one night and we woke up before he had a chance to do anything. A couple of months after I broke up with him, he almost beat a man to death and went to prison. Thank God for me! Years later after he got out, he would still stalk me, and finally my husband and I moved to a different state so hopefully he will never be able to find me again. Or hopefully he's in prison for life.
The point to my story? Even at the age of 17, even though I knew how dangerous it was to get out, I still did it. I got out! I pushed him out of my life! So I don't understand why a grown woman can't do the same thing? There are many of you that have written stories where you support the abused wife because you understand how hard it is to leave, I'm sorry but I can't support staying with this type of behavior. I would rather leave and face the consequences than to stay and know for a fact what's going to happen to me. And I learned this at a very young age. No, we weren't married, but the abuse and fear was just the same. And as to the rare coins? The man he stole them from tried to have me arrested for the theft. He actually came to my job and started throwing these awful accusations at me in front of everyone. He also threatened me with violence! All because I didn't leave this creep sooner than I should have! And BTW, my sister's first husband physically abused her, he would burn her with cigarettes, punch her with his fist until he got her on the floor, and kick her in the back. Years later she had to have back surgery because of this. It took less than a year with this man before she got out. She also refused to let her fear make her stay with a man like that. While we were getting her belongings, we thought he was at work, he came home and put a 357 caliber gun to my head. He threatened MY life to try and make her stay. Luckily we managed to get out of that safely enough. Anyway, I just don't understand why women stay or support those who can't leave. I never found it to be a choice!
To me, it's just learning common sense! And yes, I'm sure that I'll get slammed for this but I had to say it anyway.
(Original Air Date: 11/19/07) Should you stay in a marriage with your husband if you find out a secret that disgusts you? Michelle thought she had the perfect marriage until recently, when she found out her husband of four years, Wade, was a sex addict and compulsive liar. He admits to cheating on her while she was pregnant, but says since then he's been faithful. Michelle made Wade take an online polygraph test that he failed. Why is Michelle convinced Wade is having an affair, and what proof does she say she has? Wade says there's a simple explanation and wants to take another lie detector test to prove his innocence. When Dr. Phil reveals the results of the second polygraph, will Michelle's fears be confirmed or put to rest? Concerned for the well-being of their two sets of twins, will Michelle decide to divorce Wade or hold on to the hope that their marriage can be healed? Join the discussion.
