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Topic : 07/28 A Husband's Shocking Confessions

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Created on : Friday, November 16, 2007, 03:39:06 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/19/07) Should you stay in a marriage with your husband if you find out a secret that disgusts you? Michelle thought she had the perfect marriage until recently, when she found out her husband of four years, Wade, was a sex addict and compulsive liar. He admits to cheating on her while she was pregnant, but says since then he's been faithful. Michelle made Wade take an online polygraph test that he failed. Why is Michelle convinced Wade is having an affair, and what proof does she say she has? Wade says there's a simple explanation and wants to take another lie detector test to prove his innocence. When Dr. Phil reveals the results of the second polygraph, will Michelle's fears be confirmed or put to rest? Concerned for the well-being of their two sets of twins, will Michelle decide to divorce Wade or hold on to the hope that their marriage can be healed? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 19, 2007, 2:19 pm PST

SHOCKING CONFESSIONS

I would like to say that this man can't even hide his anger on the TV either.  Just looking into his eyes there is such a hatred that it is dangerous for anyone to be near him.  He is trying to manipulate everyone, but there are tell all signs  all over his face, and with some info his wife has been stating

.

He doesn't deserve this lovely lady, and she has short changed herself, unknowingly, for this monster.

I have gone through two marriages that were very unhealthy, but the last one was so venomous that I left instead of staying there because of what could of happened.  I have never hit a woman and I hate it when I see ones who do get beat. These bruises can be healed, but the emotional, spiritual, and mentally can take a long time to heal.  This lady married to this man will take sometime before she can trust and have faith in another possible relationship because of this monster.  There are many who have lived over and over again in unhealthy relationships because that's what they know, or they think they can change the other one, but in reality it never happens because no one can change another,  and this lady didn't deserve this treatment at all, and I pray that she gets some help in overcoming what this creep has done to her. She never has to hang her head for anything.

This guy is addicted to porn, well then I will bet that while he is making love to his wife, there is no doubt that he is fantazing about another woman in one of them magazines.  To me, if one has to do this he has no love or anything for his lifelong partner.  If he is committing adultery on her then he is more than likely comparing his lovely wife to others he has been with. This is so perverted and sick. My suggestion is, is for him to take a magazine to bed and give his wife a gift by being honest to her and tell her she can't match up to a picture in a skin book and allow her her freedom.

If you want an angel, then you have to treat your wife as an angel and not some piece a meat. 

It is so sad when you see partners that do this to the other one and it can happen in both genders, but no one deserves this.

I am not sorry for this dude, but you are a creep to do what you have been doing. Biblically, it talks about treating and loving your wife like a real princess and if you do that you will have pure gold as a partner.  My marriages broke up over pyramid schemes that put us so far into the hole that they had to pump sunlight into us so we could see the light of day. She wouldn't stop it and get out of it, and when she said she would she would do it behind my back and lie about it.  As time went on she would not come for counselling to save the marriage or anything, but I still had no right to abuse her in anyway so I had to leave, and I did this after the counsel of 3 professionsals.  I am free now, she's gone, and I still got my dignity knowing I never hit her or abuse her.  She was so hooked on that scam you couldn't talk any sense into her,  and what I see here is the same thing except it is pornography which is more degrading.

I believe so strongly that in relationships you have to compliment the other and be proud of each other, but this monster is so twisted he thinks these degrading methods makes him a man. YOU ARE SO WRONG, SO SET HER FREE AND ALLOW HER TO BE LOVED AND TREATED LIKE A REAL PRINCESS.  IF YOU CAN'T DO THIS THEN YOU ARE SO INSECURE THAT IT MAKES ME SICK. YOU MAY CALL IT HAVING SOME PRIDE, BUT IT ISN'T, IT IS NOTHING BUT A GUTTER CRAWLING SNAKE WITH NO CLASS.

 
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November 19, 2007, 2:20 pm PST

11/19 A Husband's Shocking Confessions

This man reminds me of my ex husban. She needs to get tested for every STD.  She needs a safe way out.
 
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anxious
November 19, 2007, 2:20 pm PST

I agree.

Quote From: thenewyear

I had to take time out today to respond to this show and truly hope this poor wife reads these messages. It makes me so mad at this disgusting male (I would love to call him alot other things ) and sad at the same time for this precious mother/wife who has been put through this type of hell day after day.

 

I want to tell her--She is a very pretty lady who has been put through enough from this scum bag husband. She has given him many, many chances and he will never change. Even if he could change --which I do not believe will ever happen--there comes a time when enough is enough and this wonderful lady DOES NOT deserve this from ANY man.

 

There has to be someone else out there who  you could trust and would treat you so much better than this male does. Even if there isn't, it would be better to be single than to live a life worrying day after day about what this male is doing. How could you ever really trust him again? There would always be doubts.  He is not worth it. I hope you have the strength to KICK HIM TO THE CURB. He is a liar, will always be a liar. You were not put on this earth to be humiliated by this male. You only have one life, you are a beautiful lady. Please, Please don't give him another change.

But evidently they have at least 4 kids. I guess she might want to try to work out the marriage for the kid's sake. I'm not sure it would even be in the kid's best interest to try and work things out. Especially after seeing the previews for the next show. I agree with you, enough is enough. Lord knows, women have left  over a lot less than this.

 
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November 19, 2007, 2:23 pm PST

Todays Episode

I know every message on this board is going to attack the gentleman who appeared today, rightfully so.  I just want to say that I understand where he is at.  Not to the same extent.  I know about the lying.  I know how it feels to be a pathological liar.  I know how it feels for lies to take over your life to the point you don't know yourself what is true and what isn't.  That was me not too long ago.  The difference was that when my wife demanded that I come clean I did.  It was the hardest thing I ever did.  In one day I came clean with my wife, my family, and my business partner regarding all of the lies I could remember.  I know there are plenty I don't.  I am not cured, but I know that.  I just want people to know that there are people that are strong enough to help themselves with a little support and understanding.  Right now every day is a struggle for me.  I have to literally think 24/7 to not lie.  I want to say that I believe the condition to be similar to a drug addiction.  At least the psychological aspect.  I have never had a drug problem, but from what I have heard described it is pretty similar.  You have to be able to recognize your temptations.  You have to literally ask yourself to not do something.  I am sitting at work right now nervous as hell that my wife watched the episode that was just on and was triggered into thinking the worst of me.  It is my fault.  I need people out there to know that people can change.  I lied to my wife and everyone else about pretty much everything.  Things that never needed to be lied about.  I cheated on my wife with an ex before we got married.  I have been faithful for a long time now.  I have never cheated on my wife since we have been married, not that that makes what I did before any better.  I had a revelation and now I am helping myself and we are working on our beautiful marriage.  I have a perfect wife, as perfect as any human can be.  If anyone out there needs someone to talk to about a similar situation I am all ears.  I would love the oppertunity to come on the show with my wife and prove to everyone that people who are screwed up like me can change. 

 

Respectfully,

 

Honest Man

 

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happy
November 19, 2007, 2:25 pm PST

There can be hope!

I watched this show with much interest as I have lived with a sexual addict for 34 years. I was unaware until 5 years ago when over the course of a year, the truth came out bit by bit. I was so devastated, I really thought I would die of grief. My whole marriage had been a lie-multiple affairs, porn addiction, compulsive masterbation ... Well to make a really long story shorter, my husband has been sexually sober for 5 years. He attended an "Every Man's Battle Conference" and came home with hope for his life and ours. We separated for awhile-he now attends a support group for Sexual Addicts and meets with an accountability partner once a week. He has met with countless men who struggle with porn and sex addiction. Many men have told him that coming off porn was harder than beating a heroin addiction. Our marriage is now better than ever, we communicate honestly even when painful. I will not say this was an easy road but one I am glad I have taken. My children are also healing and have forgiven their dad. I also attended a three day intense conference for my own healing with this situation, it was life saving for me-I had never heard of sex addiction. I know there can be victory over this addiction for these men (& women) if they are willing to do whatever it takes to get out and stay out.
Pam
 
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November 19, 2007, 2:26 pm PST

SHOCKING CONFESSIONS

I would like to say that this man can't even hide his anger on the TV either.  Just looking into his eyes there is such a hatred that it is dangerous for anyone to be near him.  He is trying to manipulate everyone, but there are tell all signs  all over his face, and with some info his wife has been stating

.

He doesn't deserve this lovely lady, and she has short changed herself, unknowingly, for this monster.

I have gone through two marriages that were very unhealthy, but the last one was so venomous that I left instead of staying there because of what could of happened.  I have never hit a woman and I hate it when I see ones who do get beat. These bruises can be healed, but the emotional, spiritual, and mentally can take a long time to heal.  This lady married to this man will take sometime before she can trust and have faith in another possible relationship because of this monster.  There are many who have lived over and over again in unhealthy relationships because that's what they know, or they think they can change the other one, but in reality it never happens because no one can change another,  and this lady didn't deserve this treatment at all, and I pray that she gets some help in overcoming what this creep has done to her. She never has to hang her head for anything.

This guy is addicted to porn, well then I will bet that while he is making love to his wife, there is no doubt that he is fantazing about another woman in one of them magazines.  To me, if one has to do this he has no love or anything for his lifelong partner.  If he is committing adultery on her then he is more than likely comparing his lovely wife to others he has been with. This is so perverted and sick. My suggestion is, is for him to take a magazine to bed and give his wife a gift by being honest to her and tell her she can't match up to a picture in a skin book and allow her her freedom.

If you want an angel, then you have to treat your wife as an angel and not some piece a meat. 

It is so sad when you see partners that do this to the other one and it can happen in both genders, but no one deserves this.

I am not sorry for this dude, but you are a creep to do what you have been doing. Biblically, it talks about treating and loving your wife like a real princess and if you do that you will have pure gold as a partner.  My marriages broke up over pyramid schemes that put us so far into the hole that they had to pump sunlight into us so we could see the light of day. She wouldn't stop it and get out of it, and when she said she would she would do it behind my back and lie about it.  As time went on she would not come for counselling to save the marriage or anything, but I still had no right to abuse her in anyway so I had to leave, and I did this after the counsel of 3 professionsals.  I am free now, she's gone, and I still got my dignity knowing I never hit her or abuse her.  She was so hooked on that scam you couldn't talk any sense into her,  and what I see here is the same thing except it is pornography which is more degrading.

I believe so strongly that in relationships you have to compliment the other and be proud of each other, but this monster is so twisted he thinks these degrading methods makes him a man. YOU ARE SO WRONG, SO SET HER FREE AND ALLOW HER TO BE LOVED AND TREATED LIKE A REAL PRINCESS.  IF YOU CAN'T DO THIS THEN YOU ARE SO INSECURE THAT IT MAKES ME SICK. YOU MAY CALL IT HAVING SOME PRIDE, BUT IT ISN'T, IT IS NOTHING BUT A GUTTER CRAWLING SNAKE WITH NO CLASS.

 
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November 19, 2007, 2:28 pm PST

This sounds frighteningly familiar

Last spring I left my husband of two years after finding out that he was a compulsive liar and a cheater.  I'd had uneasy feelings going into the marriage but couldn't actually find any solid evidence to support those feelings.  I loved his family, enjoyed his friends, and had no reason to doubt anything he said to me.  As it turned out, everything - and I do mean everything, from his job, his education, his leisure activities, his past, everything - he told me had been a lie.  I had never picked up on it, though, in part because he was (is) always perfectly believable when he lies - mostly because by the time he has a story worked out in his head, he's started to believe it.  I found out he was cheating because a credit card was traced to a sex site in which he has a web page with pornographic photos of himself on it.  I have copies of emails he sent agreeing to hook-ups, credit card receipts, and even an eye witness - but to this day he swears on his life that he never cheated on me and that everything he ever told me is true.  His answer to all of the scores of evidence stacked against him is that there is a conspiracy to discredit him.  Compulsive liars can NEVER be trusted.  They don't even know what the truth IS!  I really ache for this poor woman, and I really hope she has a strong network of people who love her (and who can see him for who he is) and will be there for her all the way.      
 

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upset
November 19, 2007, 2:32 pm PST

"Have you been with hookers???"

This comment disappointed me. MOST people carry some form of STD. No matter who Wade had slept with, his wife is at risk. I am young, college educated, and generally healthy APPEARING. But no one knows that I have herpes. I recently had a several month relationship with a man who finally admitted to me that he is married. I was devastated for many reasons, but mostly because I had not told him about having the virus. I realize that was wrong of me, and now I regret it more than ever. I not only put him at risk, but his wife, who is completely innocent. The worst part is, I know he won't do the right thing and tell her. Hopefully they will both be okay. But don't think that just because you're having sex with a "normal" person that you're safe from STDs. The guy who gave it to me was equally as "normal", and had no idea he was carrying it.
 
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November 19, 2007, 2:34 pm PST

A word of warning.

 Wade cheated on his previous wife at least 11 times. Any man who cheats on one wife that many times would probably cheat on any wife. Even if the man owns up to the cheating, no matter how vehemently he "promises" never to cheat on his next wife, any woman would be setting herself up to be cheated on, should she be foolish enough to trust, and marry him. And you "other women" out there? Any man who'd cheat with you, will cheat on you. It's what happens when  marriages begin as affairs,  
 
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November 19, 2007, 2:41 pm PST

Anyone Else?

Are there any other people out there that have struggled with the gentleman's problem that are willing to share?  I am very interested.  I am willing to put my whole story out there for everyone in hopes that it will help someone and some marriage or relationship.  I know there are others like me.  I just want to know if any are comfortable enough to post and discuss.  I want to know if I am the norm or the exception.  I appreciate any feedback from anyone on my earlier post.

 

Respectfully,

 

Honest Man

 
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