Topic : 07/28 A Husband's Shocking Confessions

Is it possible for someone this evil to change?  Yes  It is likely?  No.  The chance that someone like this will change isn't worth the poential risks they bring into your life.  An STD is just one of the many risks that this kind of man brings into your life.   Is the chance that he "might" change worth risking your life?   Nope, never.   If you can't find the courage to do it for yourself, at least do it for your kids.

 I've been in a similar situation.  Luckily I realized he was a cheater and used good birth control while I was giving him 2nd and 3rd chances.  I didn't bring a child into that living hell, and I finally learned that I deserved someone who would never cheat, not jus someone who would "try" not to.  I divorced him and spent several years learning how to choose a better partner before I even began dating again  

Man what an oxy moron There is no such thing as an honest man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and I'm sorry but the original poster also said

"my advice for Michelle is to find a support group like COSA or SLAA and work on herself, whether she stays with her husband or not!!  GOOD LUCK!!  my prayers are with this couple and their family!!"

This would imply that Michelle needs to work on herself as though it is Michelle who has a problem.  This is NOT SO!  The only problem Michelle had was allowing herself to be sucked in by a manic who has also made the claim of being a "sex addict".   I think it's cruel to imply that Michelle needs help except with perhaps the task of getting rid of her *abuser*.  As far as this woman and her being a "recovering sex addict" I still stand by what I originally said too if it walks like a duck & it talks like a duck then it shouldn't be upset when someone says "hey you're a duck"!   This duck acknowledged her husband who is great for standing by her though her ordeal but never a mention of what *she put him through* which I'm sure must have been devistating!  And THAT is what the poster who was "judgemental" was responding to "you & yours have no idea what you put your partner through!"  sounds to me like a partner that is speaking from experience!   And she would be correct in her assesment because if this woman had any clue of what she'd put her spouse through she wouldn't be suggesting that Michelle "work on herself" because she'd realize there's nothing WRONG with Michelle!  There wasn't anything wrong with her spouse either!  If I am a smoker that is something that *I* have to own & I have to deal with & I wouldn't suggesst that my husband go to a support group to "work on himself" because of my actions!  The same holds true for ANY recovering addict!  They're the addict not their spouse! 

Judgemental?  well if she doesn't want judgemental she shouldn't be telling a spouse who's husband is a lying, cheating abuser to "go work on herself" & that you can't always blame the man! 

I been married to a compulsive liar for almost 11 years. I hate to say that I ignored the signs and wish I would have gotten out a long time ago when it first started. This lady needs to get out NOW! This guy cannot see wrong from right and I really doubt things are going to get better. Why endanger your body and the lives of the children? She and the children deserve so much better!

My husband of 17 years cheated on me with a married coworker 6 years ago.  I was totally shocked but since I loved my husband and one of the most important things in life to me was my family I tried to forgive and move on.  The woman and her husband separated before I even knew there was an affair.  Apparently he confronted my husband at work.  A year and a half later her husband committed suicide.  Sad as they had two young children. 

I had just begun to trust my husband again and feel a little more secure in our marriage when I discovered he was once again cheating with a married coworker, however she was a couple of years older than our oldest daughter and pregnant with her second child.  (They both swear the baby is her husband's and think I should believe them)

Unfortunately I was not working at the time and had no income at all so felt I had no choice but to stay.  My goal was to become financially independant in order to get out of this mess.  He continues to lie and tell me that he is not having any affairs with anyone but has  not shown much remorse.

We tried counselling and of course he says that doesn't help.  He says he will not open up to a counsellor no matter what.  Had I "kept my mouth shut" no one would have known of the affairs and there wouldn't have been any issues.  He always tries to turn it around to be my fault.  I will admit our marriage was not perfect.  HOwever the only things we ever fought about were the children and his "disappearing" for hours.

I am currently enrolled in college, working toward a degree in order to become independant.  My youngest child will go off to University next year and I should be finished so will move on.  Still so sad that I will have to start over at 50 years old.  Our family will never be that family we all dreamed of.

In hindsite, I believe this man cheated on his first wife and I can think of many times that he probably cheated on me.  How stupid I feel to have believed in and trusted a man like that.

I probably could write a book on all the things from the past but I belieive it is now time to move on and time for my children and I to have a better life.

I feel for Michelle.  She'll be better off without him.  No matter how much help.  Once a cheater always a cheater. They just get better at covering it up and feel less and less remorse.

I hope by now Michelle has escape this madman.   He is one the scariest people I have seen as a guest on Dr. Phil.  He clearly reminded me of Hanibal Lector; his lips curled up in a tight squeeze awaiting to attack his next victim.   Michelle will be in grave danger if she stays with this psycopath, not only for her safety but the safety of her children.  I escaped an abusive husband with nothing more than the clothes on my back nine years ago and I have had an incredible life since then.  I have not remarried or entered into a committed relationship except to love, respect, honor and cherish myself and my life.  Had I stayed I may not be alive to give myself the most precious gift of life, something my possessive, abusive husband tried to steal from me.