Topic : 07/28 A Husband's Shocking Confessions

Life is to short to spend it in constant pain. Sometimes we have to face what we are most afraid of and move on with our lives. I have been married for 34 years and have lived with the knowledge my husband is a cheater and a liar. It has taken me 8 years to get to the point that I know this is not my fault. My husband has had an "emotional" affair (or that is what he likes to call it) with a woman for years. He says it is my fault because I didn't make him feel special. I have lived with guilt and pain for 8 years now, but I have finally said NO MORE. Life is to short to spend one more day in pain. I am just now strong enough to stand up for myself. I deserve more and I will get past the pain and be happy again. Once a cheater always a cheater is not always true, but my situation is far worse than a one night stand or a mistake that someone asks forgiveness for. When a married man loves another woman and expects his wife to accept this and go on like everything is OK is morally wrong and a deal breaker. Don't waste your life on a man that does not deserve you. I had rather be alone and happy than married and miserable for the rest of my life.

I'm surprised that NPD wasn't mentioned from Dr. Phil - who seems to have labels for many other mentally ill people.  There is so very little known about narcissism but clearly seems that this guy is suffering from it - he has every symptom: pathological liar, addiction to sex and porn, violent nature (her references to him getting angry), continuing to lie in spite of the truth and then making excuses about it.  He is a classic case of NPD.  And his wifes reaction confirms it:  feels like she is going crazy, can get no validation, feels that their entire marriage is a lie.  Dr. Phil, think you missed a diagnosis here.   And there really is no treatment for these folks.  It never gets better.

Shame on you if you fool me one, shame on me if you fool me twice. But what about like 50 times? I'd say that woman needs to leave, I love my bf and if he did that it would be hard, but for herself and her kids she needs to.

 I CANT BELIVE YOU PUT THAT MAN THRU THAT   .I HOPE YOU HAD THE HEART TO TELL THAT WOMAN SHE NEEDED HELP TO .YOU COULD SHE IT IN HER EYES SHE WASNT ALL THERE!!!!!!!!

WOW.  I am currently going through a divorce right now.  My soon to be ex husband is addicted to porn and it has ruined our marriage.  Ours however involves a pastor who became good friends with my husband and has done nothing but made things way worse.  I've also found porn on my home computer under a pastor's name.  My ex is also a compulsive liar and would not disclose anything about his business and has put it so far in debt that it seems like there is no end in sight and he put a $69,000 lien on our house because he didn't pay bills and yet he was giving $6000 to his pastor's church but couldn't put food on the table.  I was given a demand list and was told if I don't abide by it we will be divorced.  On this list it had down submit, quit my job and get another job and sex had to be three times a week on designated nights or whenever he wanted it.  It's crazy, just crazy and I want out of my 10 year marriage "prison" sentence.  I can understand why she feels paranoid and feels like she's going crazy.   Girl get out and move on.  That's my plan.
Terrier Girl!

Maybe if more women took care of their husbands they would not stray!  After 25 years with the same man, I can still say the sex is hot and passionate like the day I met him.  I have NEVER told my husband NO and he has NEVER strayed.

I have watched the program and also read some of the posts relating to it...I understand what this guy is going through,,no its not right what hes doing but it is sometimes out of the persons control and help is not easily found.I also want to point out that it is not only a ""husband""who behaves in such a manner.I live the same life as he does ,up to a certain point..It is a very hard thing to live through and to know how out of control a person can feel. Life gets so focused on sex and how to fullfill your needs that you simply lose sight of anything else in life..Matters dont get easier or even go away but tend to get worst.And i do agree help is needed to get over such a problem,it can not be controlled by the person with the problem.The mind takes over to the point where there is no control left to stop the thoughts from approaching.Help is not always available so the problem only grows worst.I just thought i would give my out look on it and give an opinion from the wife side of living with such an out of control problem..

I really want Michelle to know that i was with someone for about 12 years, and in the time we were together we had 2 kids that i just adore! James the man i am engaged to now has came into my life a little over 1 year ago and i could not be any happier! The father of my kids had a addiction to drugs and for 2 years i had no idea, then  i found out just before my son was born.I did all i could do to help him, including saving his life a couple times,anyway in 2003 while on a trip with my kids he was taken to a hospital, we rushed back home and for 2 years we prayed he would come out of his coma, he did not and in 2005 on november 15 he passed away. All those years i tried to "fix" him and all i did was suffer and put my  kids through alot of  pain.I REALLY DO NOT THINK  you can change anyone . The price of trying is to high for u!I THINK you are a smart, pretty,and strong woman You can get out now while your still alive and live peacefully with-out him in yor life ! I would also keep the kids away from him and definatly get tested! If he is a sex addict he is not being very choosy i'm sure. And one more thing, it is hard to tell what crazy thing turns him on , he might want to rape you before he chokes you to death! Please get out of this marriage.

That you know of!

 

And, by the way, it doesn't matter with some guys how much their wives "take care of them"....if they are sex addicts....or even if they just "like variety" (which 99% of men do)....they will take whatever is offered to them and you may never know! 

 

So don't be so smug.