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Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

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Created on : Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 06:04:42 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/27/07) Dr. Phil follows up with a family torn apart when the mother was banned from her only son’s wedding. The bride-to-be, Michelle, said she’d rather burn in hell than let her future mother-in-law, Jane, attend the ceremony, and her fiancé, Jay, stood behind her decision. This sent the entire family into a tailspin, with the best man resigning, the aunt disowning the groom and the wedding planner on alert to call 911 if Jane showed up. The big day has come and gone, and everyone returns to update Dr. Phil with the latest. Were they able to bury the hatchet before the wedding? Jane has gone through a rollercoaster of emotions, and Dr. Phil finds out what has her so mad at him, she even wrote him a scathing letter one week after her appearance. Has Jane done a 180-degree turn since? Has Michelle stopped her “campaign of hate mail” as Jane called it and opened up her arms to her husband’s mother? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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powersmomof3

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November 28, 2007, 1:37 pm PST

Thank you

Quote From: donotbefat

Oh, wise one. Excuse me if I enlighten you that as a mother your love continues forever for your children, even when your kids find significant others to share their lives with.

And I can promise you nothing comes more as a surprise then when your kids hook up with people who are so selfish, controlling and insecure that their first mission is to isolate your child from you.

Sweetie, you may be "so sick of MIL's out there that think they can do whatever they want," but guess what, we mothers are so sick of emotionally sick women like Michelle (you?).

Grow up, missy.

I for one have had a terrible mother in law and a (current) wonderful mother in law. Although I did not agree with or particularly care for my 1st mom in law-I respected her and respected that my ex-husband loved her and wanted her in his life. She was a raging alcoholic/narcissit-and I still managed to hold my tongue and make it work, because that is what you do when you marry someone-you do marry the family-and if you truly and unconditionally love your spouse then you forgive, forget and move on. Jane is not an alocholic, not an abuser or drug addict-she is a real person who made mistakes all of us could be guilty of-have Michelle and jay heard of forgiveness? How about, "Let ye who is without sin cast the fist stone"??? Doubt it

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i_support_u

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November 28, 2007, 1:41 pm PST

All the snotty responses?

Quote From: donotbefat

Oh, wise one. Excuse me if I enlighten you that as a mother your love continues forever for your children, even when your kids find significant others to share their lives with.

And I can promise you nothing comes more as a surprise then when your kids hook up with people who are so selfish, controlling and insecure that their first mission is to isolate your child from you.

Sweetie, you may be "so sick of MIL's out there that think they can do whatever they want," but guess what, we mothers are so sick of emotionally sick women like Michelle (you?).

Grow up, missy.

Take a few minutes to read back through the responses.

It's amazing how many antagonistic and snotty responses there are from MOTHERS, or MILs, in this message board!

It is one thing to agree or disagree and share your opinion. But the name calling, DIL bashing, and "oh grow up" responses truly amaze me.

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sarababy

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November 28, 2007, 1:42 pm PST

11/27 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Quote From: powersmomof3

I applaud that

Me too. I asked my mom "why"

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nanakattx

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November 28, 2007, 1:45 pm PST

11/27 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Quote From: samsnead

The majority of the people on this board are defending Jane, but that's because the majority of them are just like Jane. They cannot be objective. The truth is that Jane is acting irrationally, and the bride is sexy and hot.

I would expect that kind of rationale from a man who obviously hates his own mother. Michelle is a selfish, spoiled brat with no feelings for anyone.

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powersmomof3

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November 28, 2007, 1:45 pm PST

Thanks

Quote From: mzjazz37

I remember when I was small, how gracious my mother was to her in-laws. And they were awful, no doubt. She would always tell me how her first meeting with them went. They were Catholic (old shool), and they were also very racially prejudiced and made very hurtful comments about my mother to her face because she was not Catholic, divorced, and she was Indian and Jewish (gasp!) They treated us kids terribly growing up because they considered us to be illegitimate. Was not fun, I can tell you.

Well, my mother was nothing but good to them in return, and even cared for them both before they died.
She always was polite and gracious with them out of respect for my father, no exceptions EVER. We kids were required to be respectful at all times, even when they would say and do things to us that were not nice and hurt our feelings. She taught us that we did not need to lower ourselves to their level, that they were older and we were to respect them anyway... that we needed to accept that was the way they were and move on. My father was encouraged to maintain his relationship with them, which he did. It was the right thing to do.

I am telling this very personal story to show what the bigger person does. My mother certainly had every right to throw a fit, argue, be controlling and hateful; but she chose none of these. She chose to think of my father, and us kids, AND herself as well.. She was determined NOT to be what her mother-in-law told people she was. This is what a person does out of love and respect.

Sorry, new wife needs to stop sticking her nose where it doesn't belong and let her husband deal with his own family. Her place is to be gracious, loving, and neutral for the sake of this man she supposedly loves. Anything less is disrespectful to everyone involved, including herself.

I had a very similar situation with my mom and her moth in law growing
up, but she handled it as your did.....how blessed we are to have such
wonderful examples in our lives......thank you for sharing this, it
brought a rush of memories for me and touched my heart.....you are so
right on with this....

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powersmomof3

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November 28, 2007, 1:47 pm PST

haha

Quote From: moniquersmith

LOL, thats funny she is exactly like Nellie from Little house. Evil little brat.

I knew she reminded me of someone....she could be Nellies twin!!

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powersmomof3

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November 28, 2007, 1:50 pm PST

glad to hear

Quote From: i_support_u

The most precious people in a child's life are a happily married mother and father!

The NEXT most precious people are the grandparents and extended families.

My husband's aunt and uncle have become the second set of grandparents to our children, besides my parents. And our children are so much better off for it!

Happy to hear that some people from your husbands family are still in his life.......sorry for coming down so hard on your earlier-I don't know you or your situation and I was juding you just like Michelle did to Jane.....

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i_support_u

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November 28, 2007, 1:55 pm PST

ABSOLUTELY!

Quote From: kim780

Actually I think it shows a united front and a strong marriage/friendship that he stood by his new wife and didn't tell her to shut up. Most husbands would have told their wife to shut up to be able to avoid listening to their mothers. Men hate conflict and drama........so for him to support his wife is huge. Also he said he wanted to work things out he just wants his mother to respect him and his decisions. And that is absolutly insane to think the new wife should step back and let the son and mother spend time togehter to wok on their relationship. That is what should have been done before he grew up and started his own life. He needs to concentrate on this huge journey he just under took taking a wife........................The mil behaves and she'll be around. if not she'll be gone. Seems to me it's her choice..............

That's right. Jane, you raised a strong young man who is willing to love and support his wife 100%! So LET HIM!

It's ironic when parents raise strong and capable children and when those children stand up on their own two feet as adults, the parents say, "WAIT! I still want to be in charge!"

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sloneii

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November 28, 2007, 1:57 pm PST

Absolutely!

Quote From: i_support_u

The most precious people in a child's life are a happily married mother and father!

The NEXT most precious people are the grandparents and extended families.

My husband's aunt and uncle have become the second set of grandparents to our children, besides my parents. And our children are so much better off for it!

Totally agree with you!

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moonjodi

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November 28, 2007, 2:05 pm PST

Let's agree to disagree

I think that we should all agree to disagree. We all have our opinions, some of us agree with the MIL and some of us agree with the DIL. I think it's a sad situation! My family is dealing with something or someone similar to the DIL and it's terrible. I feel sad for this family. I think it's just terrible because we never know when one of our loved ones will be stripped away from us and those terrible things we said will probably haunt our thoughts and dreams for a really long time. I think instead of all this bickering we need to make sure that our loved ones know how much we love them! Most of us are going to disagree about this, until you've been in a similar situation you probably won't understand. All we can do at this point is pray for this family! We are being judgmental and I suppose it's not our place to do that, no matter how much we might see that certain someone in that person. All we can do is pray.

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