Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

I think Dr. Phil needs to realize that not all mother -in-laws are nice people. I have been with my spouse for 35 years. He is an only child to an overbearing, old fashioned Italian mother. I am also a mother-in-law, and I take into account all that I have had to endure for 35 years, in how I approach my own son and his wife. I have turned the other cheek and swallowed enough to sink a battle ship! So as I watched this show I tried to stay neutral, and I also feel that the son could have done more, but depending on what he put up with as a child growing up, he may just be too tired to deal with his own mother. We raise our children and then we have to let them fly and grow and enjoy their own life, and mothers have to realize they will always be a part of their son or daughters life, but in a different capacity once they become adults (just as we all did).

It is sad to see that this couple is so vindictive and spiteful, arrogantly so. Dr. Phil was correct to say, both young people are ungracious. They will see their behavior reflected back at them, as soon as they raise their own children. The mother saw it in her son, who chose to marry someone exactly like his mother. I'm impressed the mother is actively taking part in improving herself. If the young couple could attempt to do the same, they would see that all these steps can do nothing else but lead to someone who is making changes. They would be wise to follow a life path of continuous improvement themselves.  The world is not going to revolve around them, as it did during the wedding preparations, and they have to get ready to be able to be responsible for their actions and to face the myriad of challenges that will face them.

 What an awful unkind child this  Michelle person is...i am amazed her mother would show her face if this was my daughter i would hide in shame.  Michelle i hope you read this because if you don't get it soon your marriage is doomed ... You don't chose to be tall or smart or pretty the ONLY thing you chose is whether or not to be kind ....looks fade ...money goes... time marches on... but if you marry a kind person you can be happy forever....you are very unkind.

I am assuming that we don't know the whole story but unless your mother in law slapped you silly and threw you down the stairs you are way out of line . My mother in law was beyond the pale on every level and i am still  bristle when i think of some of the stuff she pulled even thought shes been dead for 12 years but you know what? She NEVER knew it she NEVER had cause to complain about how i treated her ...I bit my tongue.. i smiled... did the holidays  etc....out of respect for my husband and out of respect for her age. maybe a little because if i had let my feelings out i would be in the mess you are now ...

Dr. Phil didn't get it -- Michele doesn't understand the concept of being "gracious" or even a good winner -- she wasn't raised to be a woman with class - she seems to behave and act like an overly spoiled over-indulged princess.  I'd go as far to say that she isn't able to maintain too many friendships as she wouldn't be able to allow her friends to have other close friendships.

Its sad - but unless Jay grows up and takes responsibility for his own relationship with his mom Jane won't have one with them - Michele is only going to allow contact under her terms and her whim and when its convenient for her and suits her - and even when faced with the reasonable men in his family he still couldn't stand up and say "I"  he immediately reverst to the "we".

Dr. Phil, I have never disagreed with you assessment of a situation.  The questions you continually directed at the mother, made it seem as though this was all her fault.  I got the impression, that Michelle, is the problem.  If I was the mother, I would cut off all conversation and communication, with that no good spinless son of hers, and I wouldn't want that Michelle, for a daughter in law, ever.  She can say all she wants about not wanting the added stress at the wedding.  I think she has problems with the new hubby, himself and needs marriage counseling.  I am very seldom wrong, about people, My bet is this marriage, WILL NOT LAST 6 mONTHS.  SORRY, DR. PHIL,  I don't think you can save this one.  I am glad you helped the mother, so she can move on and enjoy her life away from that self-righteous, OH SO WRONG, Michelle.   That son, is going to be so sorry, because  God, tells us Honor  your Mother.  I think you should reward her for all her efforts, and the tong bitting she did today.  You should tell that Michelle, to sit and watch tapes a few hundred times.  I don't have children of my own.  But, I've raised many children, with my company, and the one thing I've always, taught them is "Respect Your Mother", no matter what kind of mom they had.  I have turned may Young Men, from troubled homes, lives around.  Simple with this, philosophy.