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Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

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Created on : Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 06:04:42 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/27/07) Dr. Phil follows up with a family torn apart when the mother was banned from her only son’s wedding. The bride-to-be, Michelle, said she’d rather burn in hell than let her future mother-in-law, Jane, attend the ceremony, and her fiancé, Jay, stood behind her decision. This sent the entire family into a tailspin, with the best man resigning, the aunt disowning the groom and the wedding planner on alert to call 911 if Jane showed up. The big day has come and gone, and everyone returns to update Dr. Phil with the latest. Were they able to bury the hatchet before the wedding? Jane has gone through a rollercoaster of emotions, and Dr. Phil finds out what has her so mad at him, she even wrote him a scathing letter one week after her appearance. Has Jane done a 180-degree turn since? Has Michelle stopped her “campaign of hate mail” as Jane called it and opened up her arms to her husband’s mother? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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lvmyfam1

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June 24, 2008, 5:44 pm PDT

sick of mil

I am tired of hearing about the poor mil. I have a mil who puts on a sweet, "good Christian", could never hurt a fly act. But over the years her true colors have come through loud and clear. Unfortunately for me, they have skipped right over my other two sister-in-laws. After several arguments over the past few years we have stopped speaking. Alot of bad things were said by all. The only defense she had was denial nd have a nice life in a letter. We have not heard one word from her or father-in-law since. That was a year ago. I am like Michelle. I can only stand so much. I felt like if it were directed at all the daughter-in-laws it would have been easier to tolerate, but it was always only me. I was always the bad guy. His mother was not the greatest as mothers go to begin with but now... What kills me the most is that They didn't even put up a fight to try to speak to their son or grandchildren! That just makes me feel all the more correct in my decision to cut them out o my life. An for the record, I told my husband that I did not careif he wanted to speak to them again it's his family. He chose not to speak to them on his own. Michelle's husband is a grown man. He must see his mother for what she really is as my husband did with his mother and father. Cut Michelle some slack.

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peggysueb1941

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June 24, 2008, 5:46 pm PDT

06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

If you could see the look on your face you could make your self sick, you the bride ,remind me of Nellie on little house on the prarie she always had to have her way one day ,you the son will resent your little bridezilla for not letting you be around your mom after all you wouldnt be here if not for your mom. I think you and her deserve each other. Shame on you!!!

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get2italready

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June 24, 2008, 5:51 pm PDT

Exactly

Quote From: sparlow

I feel it's time for the bride to grow up and consider her husband's feelings. She will eventually regret the way she is treating his mother and not allowing her to have a relationship with them. The mother is just as wrong at what she has been doing and it's time she cut the apron strings and allow her son to live his own life. If both the bride and the mother would do these things they could have a wonderful relationship of enjoying each other. I dread to think of what it will be like if and when children are brought into this union.

When 4 people from the same family state that their son, nephew, etc. has changed since he met bridezilla, and they did not want to support their union or behavior at their wedding, speaks volumes. He says he is "his own man", but I hate to tell him that the position has already been filled by his other half. If he took a good look in the mirror, he would realize the importance of his responsiblity to bring these 2 women together WHATEVER it takes. "IF" she is the "right" women to be his wife, then she would certainly share equal love for her man, as the love, a mother feels for her children, and that is priceless, endless and sacrificing. Forgive and forget and enjoy... There are no guarantees for tomorrow.

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mommaramma

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June 24, 2008, 5:52 pm PDT

Remember -

This young ladey needs to remember that what goes around comes around. Some day she will possibly have children and she will possibly pay for her attitude and behavior. We do not get to keep our parents forever and when they are gone there is no getting them back and it's too late to say I'm sorry or I wish I had done things differently.

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tonie0914

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June 24, 2008, 6:01 pm PDT

My heart breaks

What a sad situation to be in, just looking at Jane breaks my heart, I can't imagine what it would be like for your own son to allow his wife to treat his mother the way Jane is being treated.

The Bible say's "Honor your Mother and Father".

God Bless You Jane, keep up the good work, your a winner and your son is the one that's on the loosing end. One day he'll look back on this and hate the date he let this woman come between his and his mother.

As for the wife's mother, my mother would of NEVER allowed me to treat another human being the way you've allowed you daughter to treat Jane.

I belive the Bible also say's "turn the other cheek"...

God Bless everyone involved in this horrible, horrible, horrible situation.

P.S. Jane, you may not of gotten to go to his first marriage but I'll bet your a guest of honor at this secon d marriage.

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ksnake

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June 24, 2008, 6:09 pm PDT

06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

I think that he should by happy that he has a mom because i lost my mom 9 years ago. i would give anythink to say sorry for all the fight that we had. I think that you need to do any think to be a family that is the most part of life

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boisern

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June 24, 2008, 6:15 pm PDT

Doing right instead of being right

No one will win in this situation and everyone will be hurt. Michelle thinks that she is winning but her nasty, spoiled attitude will come around someday and bite her. I believe in karhma, sometimes it will take awhile but it will come. Jay needs to get some juevos because if he doesn't his life will continuously be ruled by Michelle. When first married, I had conflicts with my in-laws (especially my mother-in-law) but my husband listened to me but did not bash his mom. It took me a while but I finally learned doing the right thing was better than being right. It really did not feel like much of a victory to be right but hurt my MIL and husband along the way. Now that she is in a nursing home with end stages of Alzheimer's who do you think takes care to make sure that she has clothes and money for the beauty salon? Of course it is me but I don't resent it at all. She raised a fine husband and father and I know in my heart that what I do is the right thing to do. My children see how I treat my MIL and I feel that being a good role model is important for them to see.

Jay you can have both, a wife and a mother, but DO NOT turn your back on your mom.It will make you weak in everyone's eyes including Michelle. Be a man, do what is right and insist that Michelle does the same. You never know when you will need your mom.

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johncanada

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June 24, 2008, 6:25 pm PDT

ohhhhh watch out Jay

In watching the shows regarding Jane not being allowed to the wedding and the aftermath my bells just go off in regard to Michelle, she says that she is not pulling his strings, I think that she has her hands on more strings than you realize Jay. You think that this issue with your mother is going to be the first conflict/issue/drama?????

Ohhhhh watch out Jay

John H

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robertstevens

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June 24, 2008, 6:39 pm PDT

I feel sorry for Jane

Quote From: boisern

No one will win in this situation and everyone will be hurt. Michelle thinks that she is winning but her nasty, spoiled attitude will come around someday and bite her. I believe in karhma, sometimes it will take awhile but it will come. Jay needs to get some juevos because if he doesn't his life will continuously be ruled by Michelle. When first married, I had conflicts with my in-laws (especially my mother-in-law) but my husband listened to me but did not bash his mom. It took me a while but I finally learned doing the right thing was better than being right. It really did not feel like much of a victory to be right but hurt my MIL and husband along the way. Now that she is in a nursing home with end stages of Alzheimer's who do you think takes care to make sure that she has clothes and money for the beauty salon? Of course it is me but I don't resent it at all. She raised a fine husband and father and I know in my heart that what I do is the right thing to do. My children see how I treat my MIL and I feel that being a good role model is important for them to see.

Jay you can have both, a wife and a mother, but DO NOT turn your back on your mom.It will make you weak in everyone's eyes including Michelle. Be a man, do what is right and insist that Michelle does the same. You never know when you will need your mom.

Jane I feel so sorry for you. I'm in same situation except my son didn't marry this stupid girl. She has the grandson living with her and she won't let me see him. Your daughter-in-law has a lot of growing up to do. Your son needs to grow up and realize that when his wife is long gone, his mother will always be there. Her son needs to stop letting his wife do this to Jane. Michelle is a spoiled brat and seems like her mother is just like her. Daughter in law needs to shut up and if you Jane want to send your son something that's ok.

Grow up Jay and tell your wife to mind her own business and stop telling you what to do.

Jane your in my prayers.

Betty Covel

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quesera

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June 24, 2008, 6:44 pm PDT

You are the mirror image of whats to come

Quote From: lvmyfam1

I am tired of hearing about the poor mil. I have a mil who puts on a sweet, "good Christian", could never hurt a fly act. But over the years her true colors have come through loud and clear. Unfortunately for me, they have skipped right over my other two sister-in-laws. After several arguments over the past few years we have stopped speaking. Alot of bad things were said by all. The only defense she had was denial nd have a nice life in a letter. We have not heard one word from her or father-in-law since. That was a year ago. I am like Michelle. I can only stand so much. I felt like if it were directed at all the daughter-in-laws it would have been easier to tolerate, but it was always only me. I was always the bad guy. His mother was not the greatest as mothers go to begin with but now... What kills me the most is that They didn't even put up a fight to try to speak to their son or grandchildren! That just makes me feel all the more correct in my decision to cut them out o my life. An for the record, I told my husband that I did not careif he wanted to speak to them again it's his family. He chose not to speak to them on his own. Michelle's husband is a grown man. He must see his mother for what she really is as my husband did with his mother and father. Cut Michelle some slack.

Jay read this and get a clue to what's ahead of you...."I am like Michelle," says it all.

So, there are 2 other DIL's but your the only one experiencing problems. Tell me, why do people base "putting up a fight to try to speak" as some sort of definition/measure of caring or profound loss? Sometimes one has to consider the recipent of those pleas and if they're worth it. Don't assume you have an inkling of your husband's family loss or regret regarding the existing situation. They just may be taking the high road, something you might not understand.

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