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Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

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Created on : Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 06:04:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/27/07) Dr. Phil follows up with a family torn apart when the mother was banned from her only son’s wedding. The bride-to-be, Michelle, said she’d rather burn in hell than let her future mother-in-law, Jane, attend the ceremony, and her fiancé, Jay, stood behind her decision. This sent the entire family into a tailspin, with the best man resigning, the aunt disowning the groom and the wedding planner on alert to call 911 if Jane showed up. The big day has come and gone, and everyone returns to update Dr. Phil with the latest. Were they able to bury the hatchet before the wedding? Jane has gone through a rollercoaster of emotions, and Dr. Phil finds out what has her so mad at him, she even wrote him a scathing letter one week after her appearance. Has Jane done a 180-degree turn since? Has Michelle stopped her “campaign of hate mail” as Jane called it and opened up her arms to her husband’s mother? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 25, 2007, 12:40 pm CST

heading for divorce

Quote From: fattie

I don't understand why you keep dragging these people on the show.  If my son thought I was too much trouble I would just say "fine, just don't come running to me when you need something."   Men will do anything for a woman until he marries her and lives with her a little while.  The Mother should just back off and I can almost guarantee he will be divorced from her in record time.  And it won't be long before they will want something and that is just too bad.  I have 2 sons, one in a similar situation except that I just totally stay out of it.  It kills me to see him used like he is, but he is an adult and he has to learn for himself.  I mean where do these people come from.  I'm from Oklahoma and everyone thinks we are all a bunch of hicks.  Obviously they are everywhere.

 

The Troll 

I totally agree with the comments above. I keep thinking Dr Phil just needs to pull that mother in law aside and tell her to keep her mouth shut. The son will see through his new wife soon enough and will realize what a big 'B' she really is. Then comes the divorce. If mom just kept her mouth shut, he will not feel like mom was right. Then mom can the hero after all by telling him "Sorry it didn't work out. I'll be here for you no matter what.

Mom- just walk away and let it be. There is no way your son will be able to stay married to that woman for long. 

There is something very telling when his whole family is against this union!

 
November 25, 2007, 4:43 pm CST

11/27 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Quote From: mgrlady

The MIL wrote a scathing letter to DR. PHIL?????  HA!  I didn't buy her "poor me" attitude then and her behavior on the show sure proved she was the problem!!   No wonder the son and DIL don't want her to be around.  Further proof that this lady needs to get some serious therapy. 

 

To the son.............GOOD FOR YOU FOR STANDING UP TO YOUR MOTHER!!!   That takes a lot of courage!!  I wish you a long and happy marriage!

 

btw......If that woman were my kids grandmother..........I wouldn't let her near them!!!!

Well did you see the show?Dr.Phil way droped the ball, he let the btb be as b#@%^ as she wanted,rude disrespectful lil brat,needed to be smacked down and as far as that so called son ,how cute will it be when its YOU shes rippen up? Hey dont worry your mom will alway be there to help you....or not.  and for te love of god PLEASE dont mate with that thing ,think of how she would treat her own children! 
 
November 25, 2007, 6:46 pm CST

ben there done that

i didnt see part one of the story but was amazed at the amount of messages feeling sorry for the mother in law, obviously the mother hasnt been the nicest and that is why her own son is supporting his fiancee, which is what he should be doing. i too have been in this situation only being married a year ago, we have two children and a step mother that has caused so much strain in our relationship over the past nearly 12 years which is why we dont talk to her today, she came to our wedding, i went up and started conversation with her  2or 3 times, she sat at that table for the majority of the night , not even going up to her step son at all, letalone me,  she made no effort at all, on your wedding day do you really want someone with that sort of affect on your life present, she needs to let her son be happy, take a step back or you will lose him forever and unfortunatel, that means grandchildren aswell
 
November 25, 2007, 6:48 pm CST

11/27 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Quote From: sosadtosee

Well did you see the show?Dr.Phil way droped the ball, he let the btb be as b#@% as she wanted,rude disrespectful lil brat,needed to be smacked down and as far as that so called son ,how cute will it be when its YOU shes rippen up? Hey dont worry your mom will alway be there to help you....or not.  and for te love of god PLEASE dont mate with that thing ,think of how she would treat her own children! 
well obviously she hasno t been treated nice by his mother, dont you think otherwuise why would her own son want no part of her life
 
November 25, 2007, 7:10 pm CST

Win the battle, lose the war

I hope that bride decides to bury the hatchett.  Her husband will be remembering this as long as

their marriage lasts.  In the ups and downs of marriage, it will be the first thing to pop in his mind.

It's time for the girl to be the hero....grow up, there will be others in your lifetime that will not please

you.  My mother in law never liked me, was constantly making ugly remarks, and I would laugh as

if I thought she was teasing.  I NEVER said one disrespectful thing to her.

Learn to COPE.

 
November 25, 2007, 7:31 pm CST

I can relate!

i can relate to the DIL as I went through a very similar instance about two years ago. In the beginning we all got along really well until my husband asked me to marry him. Things started to change between the family and my MIL went as far as to ring our house when my husband was at work to tell me that if I really loved her son then instead of marring him I should pack all my stuff and be gone from his life before he got home from work. She felt that I disrespected her by going into her house in my dirty work clothes (I was a dairy farmer) and that I was changing her son. since we have been together he has made a concious choice to get a drivers license, give up excessive drinking and drugs and plan for a future. We are expecting our first baby any day now and I have never seen him so excited. when we got married a wedding invitation was send to his parents and also to all the immediate members of his family. His sister was the only one who choose to attend. Things got so bad between the family that we had no contact with his parents for almost 2 years. I know that this was hard for my hisband however I never made the decision for him to not have any contact with them but I did say that until things were sorted out they were not welcome in our home. I believe that despite the turmoil with in the family that the DIL and son should extend the wedding invitation to his mother. After all the day belongs to the bride and groom and if the MIL dicides to make a scene there will be plenty of people there to difuse the situation without it ruining the day. Also if the MIL does make a scene, which I dont think she will, it will show everyone involved just what kind of person she is on the inside and the lack of respect she has for her "only son". Things in my family are just beginning to ease up and sort themselves out but in the end it was my husband who made the first move. For the DIL it may not be easy to accept or understand because her mother is there for her but I think she needs to sit and think about how it will make her HTB feel on their wedding day not to have his mother there. He make say that he's fine and he may not show any feelings as such on the outside but on the inside he will be hurting and I'm not saying that this will happen but it could. He may end out resenting his bride in the long run. Things will ease up and maybe a little less contact for a while might help to put things in perspective for both sides. the MIL may not like the DIL or may not approve but in the end the choice is her son's. She needs to pull back and imagine life without her son. Weigh up her options and decide whats worse.
 
November 25, 2007, 7:39 pm CST

Not sure if we were watching the same thing!

Quote From: sosadtosee

Well did you see the show?Dr.Phil way droped the ball, he let the btb be as b#@% as she wanted,rude disrespectful lil brat,needed to be smacked down and as far as that so called son ,how cute will it be when its YOU shes rippen up? Hey dont worry your mom will alway be there to help you....or not.  and for te love of god PLEASE dont mate with that thing ,think of how she would treat her own children! 
I saw a family with problems on both sides. Ultamately its the son's choice not anyone else's who her marries or starts a family with. I saw the MIL dishing her fair share of disrespect and rudeness out not just the DIL. the son agreed with most of what his BTB was stating and I dont think that it';s because he's whipped. I think that its because he loves her and its true.
 
November 25, 2007, 11:43 pm CST

Ultimately, it's the MIL who should Grow up & apologize

 Ultimately, I'd say it is the MIL who should grow up and apologize, after all, she is SUPPOSED to be the older and wiser one.

I sympathize with the DIL because I too had the MIL from HELL.  My MIL tried to break up her son & I before she even met me or knew anything about me.  Some mothers are like that.  I suspect this one is as well.  My MIL did the same thing with my husband's older brother's wife before he married her.  She trash talked her to his brothers and tried to make her look bad.  My husband realized something was wrong with his mother when he saw her doing the same thing with me when he knew I was a good person.  She did everything she could to try and stop our wedding.  Tried to talk us out of marrying, when that didn't work she tried to talk us out of a church wedding, she just kept trying all different angles to stop us.  She tried to withhold her side of the family guest list.  She came to the wedding but made a big show of not looking at me when I came up the isle.  She didn't give us a wedding gift.  My husband ended up cutting contact with her completely due to her behavior towards me. 

A very import question that needs to be asked is where is the father of the Groom in all this (and the father's side of the family)?  I think that that could be a strong indication of what the MIL is really like. Why hasn't the father and his family been around... is the MIL such a witch that they too have cut communication??????
 
November 26, 2007, 5:15 am CST

11/27 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Quote From: paddie3

well obviously she hasno t been treated nice by his mother, dont you think otherwuise why would her own son want no part of her life

I agree with you.: Dr. Phil did not really do anything much to caution that uncultured DIL. I am sure his wife isn't like dat being rude to his family and all that, otherwise, he wouldn't be still married to her for 31 good years. How could he tell the MIL that sonny would marry DIL whether she liked it or not!!!!!!!

 

PLEASE! Dr. Phil wouldn't date such a girl, not to think of marrying her. Sonny is just a spineless coward and an unfortunate example of a son! DIL would definitely have DILs one day and she must be treated shabbily. Give MIL  a break, I understand her heartaches. I hv 3 sons and they'd never marry such a woman. I hv been married for 15 years and people don't think my MIL is a nice person, but I avoid ugly situations with her and have never replied any of her abuses. I expected Dr. Phil to curb the DIL's excesses.

 
November 26, 2007, 5:23 am CST

Look beyond and see the truth

Quote From: nanal41

I hope that bride decides to bury the hatchett.  Her husband will be remembering this as long as

their marriage lasts.  In the ups and downs of marriage, it will be the first thing to pop in his mind.

It's time for the girl to be the hero....grow up, there will be others in your lifetime that will not please

you.  My mother in law never liked me, was constantly making ugly remarks, and I would laugh as

if I thought she was teasing.  I NEVER said one disrespectful thing to her.

Learn to COPE.

There's something we are not seeing here. The DIL is not out to make thing ok. She is not a nice person and is not even ready for this marriage which is gonna pack up ASAP. With the kind of mother she has where's the good advise gonna come from? DH is gonna get what is coming to him soon. But dont worry, Mammy will be there.No mother ever abandons her child.Your family is the one that GENUINELY cares about you. Only God knows what happened in DIL's previous relationship. People like her shouldn't have children.
 
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