Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

You are horrible for saying that....you may have a horrible mother in-law, but jane is not that! thanks and have a great day!

Ouch!! I never thought of this.  But Jay has clearly shown he can be very cold and unforgiving also easily manipulated.  Did Jay go from controlling mother to controlling wife?    Michelle, I hope his seed is not planted in you already or you are doomed! 

 

 

I have watched part 1, and part 2. I am left feeling frustrated.. Honor your Mother and Father.

How can it ever be ok for the son to let the not yet wife deal with his mother this way in part 1. That should be a red flag! The mother is holding on to the son she has to let go of, and yes it was also about her. Her son was prob. her life, for all of his life, and is now listening to poison from a girl who wants her family only in there lives, and for him to kick his own family to the curb. If you have ever had a person on your show that needed a talking to it was the girl, not the mother being the focus on the matter. At least you were able to say a couple of words to the couple and the end of part 2. You had no problem telling the mother in both parts, I wish you would have had no problem telling the girl in the same way!

Jay has completely abandoned his mother.  His new wife needs to grow up.  This young girl is so full of herself, she is a drama queen.  What she did with the flowers, is wrong.  How will she deal with children when she has them.

LOL!  I thought I was the only one who saw the resemblance, not only in looks but in personality. 

 

And YES!  to what the future may hold for Miss Michelle.  Karma is an amazing thing...

 

Could someone PLEASE tell me why Dr. Phil didn't confront the DIL about the eye-rolling when her MIL was speaking?  Or, here's a wacky idea! Why didn't Jay ask his wife to please not roll her eyes and make a snarky face when his mother was in tears...

 

Whatever the problems, whomever did what to whomever--that kind of behavior towards one's mother is totally unacceptable.  Shame, shame, shame on Dr. Phil for allowing it to continue without so much as a word about how unhelpful it was. Shame, shame, shame on the bride's mother for not calling Miss Michelle on it.  I have three married daughters and I tell them all the same thing: They do not have to love everything about their MILs, but they DO have to treat them with respect.

 

To Mr. Jay and Miss Thang Michelle: Lots of luck---you two truly deserve one another.

Dr. Phil, I  have just finished watching this show and am so outdone with this daughter-in-law that I could just scream.  I have a great relationship with my in-laws, but I know that in order to have this that I am half of the reason.  What I mean is that in order to have a good relationship you have to do your part .  I do not believe that this young girl is willing to make any changes.  I am also a mother-in-law and know what it is like to be on the other side of things.  I have always said to my now grown children that I will try very hard to get along with whom ever makes them happy and treats them good.  I think that as a parent that is all we can ask of someone for our children. I would never want my children to have to chose between me and their spouse.  There should be enough love for all.  I was so very angry with this young girl that she did not except any thing that her now husbands mother had to say. She was so busy trying to show how bad that her mother-in-law was that she did not realize that this is the same woman that raised this man to be the person that she fell in love with, so that she could not be all bad.  This is the first woman that showed him love and how to love. I hope that in the future that this does not happen to her, because I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around.  So she may get this same dislike from her future son or daughter-in-law.  There is more than enough anger in this girl and I do believe that she is very jealous of the relationship that her husband had with his mother.  I think that no one should ever let things get so bad that you have no contact with your parents.  I have had things in my own life to be very, very angry with my parents about, but I now know that no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes and that you have to let things go.  You fill your life with other things and that way you do not dewell on those things.  After all you only get 1 mother and 1 father in this life.  The one that choses those is far more knowledgeable than we will ever be.  Thank you for your time and allowing me to get this off my chest.                                  

I have never felt the need to post a message in response to a show.  However, this show has definetly made me sit up and want to scream.  I am the mother of 2 children. One daughter and one son, both of whom are married and have children. I come from a very large and close family and feel very lucky that I do.  My point is, I have seen alot in my life but Michelle is something else!  Why would anyone EVER want to alienate a mother and child from each other?  I did hear Jane say she was sorry for her actions but I NEVER heard Michelle say that she was sorry.  It appears that  Jay will do anything not to upset Michelle, including turning his back on his own family.  How sad!!  Karma is a tricky thing and it does have a way of coming back to bite you.  Maybe one day Michelle will be blessed with a son and he will be lucky enough to marry a woman just like her.  Your day will come Michelle.  Maybe you should think about that.

P.S.  Has anyone ever told Michelle "NO", or "Other peoples feelings are just as important as your own!"  Jay-  remember, you never appreciate someone until you don't have them anymore.

Watching part 2 makes me think I am watching myself 6 years ago.  I can tell you I went through the same exact thing, after being my daughter-in-laws best friend for 6 years.  We did everything together.  Then one day, BAM, I was taken out the my grandchildren's lives, my son's life and her life.  I cried and cried, I called, emailed, sent cards, you name it, I did it.

 

I'd tell them how much I changed (yes it was my fault this happened), and I honestly thought I did.  Oh no....I didn't.  I can see Jane is the old me.

 

Well, I have changed a lot and now am living with my son and daughter-in-law.  Yes that is right.  What did I do?  Well, I had to realize I needed to be away from them, and they away from me.  I moved to Florida for 4 years.  I stopped crying, stopped calling, stopped writing and emailing.

 

On holidays and birthday's I would still buy cards and little gifts, but never sent them.  I started a plastic container for them and would wrap the gifts and put them in the container.  I have 6 years worth of gifts and cards, letters etc.  I thought, well if I die the kids will know I thought of them, and loved them.

 

Then one day, I got a call from my son and he said "mom, what are you doing this weekend"?  I said, "nothing".  So he said, "feel like some company for the weekend?".  He came to visit me and that was it.

 

I had come to Jersey for a visit several times, and finally the next Easter, I saw my grandchildren and daughter-in-law for the first time in 6 years.  They saw that I really did change.

 

I don't believe Jane has made that transition yet.  She looks too smug and is trying too hard to convince everyone.  Let it go Jane and let nature take its course.

no one is the hero here. 

 

let me tell you all a short story please? 

 

when i was married, back in the dark ages, i somehow thought that my MIL and i were in a competition for my husband.  it was a highly immature attitude and i was in my mid twenties!  i didn't realize until much much later that not only is it NOT a competition, it never was.  my mother was the reason i felt the way i did, she treated her own MIL and my father's family as competition. 

 

my MIL, sadly is dead now, but, before she died we talked, a lot.  she had wanted a daughter, and i didn't want another mother so...instead of working at cross purposes, her only grandson loved her and remembers her lovingly.  my husband is happy because i grew up in attitude and, before she died i not only respected his mother, but, i loved her for the one best thing she ever did in life, she raised a wonderful son who grew into a loving, kind, excellent life companion and, whatever reasons i had for not liking her were very much to my discredit.  i'll never be able to change those early years, but, i did change the later ones, and i'm happier and much more mature and i'm a better mother to my own son for doing so. 

 

that's it...in the end, you have to live with yourself and i didn't like living with the person i could see myself becoming...i'm glad i never actually BECAME that woman.  i'm not religious, nor do i believe in god or karma or any sort of cosmic justice (i'm a big city medical examiner), this is the only life we get, use it well and wisely or live (and die) a sad, lonely human, those are the only choices so make the best of it!

 

 

  I don't normally watch your show everyday, but today I turned it on. I was shocked the way this lady was being treated. It looks like she has tried to change to be part of her sons life and they are the ones holding the grudge. I get along with my mother in law, she is not perfect and neither am I. Grow up people and realize that down the road you are going to have children and they are going to ask  you why you have nothing to do with daddy's mom or grandma, what are you going to tell them? You are teaching your children before they are even born how to treat you both when they grow up. Think about it! Move On!

Diane