Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

I have watched both episodes and truly believe that lil miss goldilocks is mean-spirited with a heavy dose of needing to be right and needing to be in complete control of any relationship with her Mother-In-Law.

 

Put the son and mother in counseling together to mend their relationship.

 

Put goldilocks into a Brat Camp where she belongs!!!

I think the son and his new bride are focusing soley on getting her to admit to things said in the past, instead of focusing on building a future. 

 

Michelle strikes me as controlling and immature...and it doesn't sound as if she (or her husband) are willing to take any blame for the situation, nor to change and correct THEIR bad behavior.

GOLDEN RULE!

 

Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.  Simply put.   The son, well, certainly can't say much there.  Has to be hidden because of his job.  Appears to stay hidden, period.

 

The DIL, who raised this girl.  A daughter of mine would not speak to anyone like that girl was speaking to her MIL.  But then again my children was taught the Golden Rule.

 

The MIL, her only problem that I see was reacting to a situation that was well beyond her capibility.  Sometimes we meet people in this world that will rub us the wrong way but how we chose to react to that is the key to the relationship, unfortunately for her, she does love her son and her son did marry this girl, even though mom was not there.  Very Sad that  that should have been okay with him. She has learned that to be the bigger person she does have to bite her tongue. 

 

Yes I have been a DIL twice as a matter of fact with 2 wonderful mothers.  Very close to being a mother in law, and even closer to being a mother in law that hurt my son very badly.   I sat and held my son while he cried with a broken heart and because he asked me not to say anything to the soon to be DIL  I did not say anything and just held him the next time he cried.  I at one time thought birthing my 4 children was painful, not in a LONG SHOT compared to your baby crying with a broken heart.   So MIL just be there he will come.

 

 

My husband and I have been married for almost 14 years.  I have no tongue left from bitting it over the years of my marriage and ignoring things that I would love to call my husbands family to the carpet for.  This couple doesn't have a clue for what they are in for.  Regardless of how I feel about my in-laws, I encourage my husband to have a relationship with them, because I don't won't it to come back and haunt my marriage.  I could write a book about things that have happen since we've been married, and I never thought that I would be in this situation, but I love my husband enough to try and ignore it.  If my mother-in-law ever apologized to me for anything, I would drop to my knees and thank the good Lord, but I won't be holding my breath. 

 

Dr. Phil is right about one thing, my sister was killed in a car accident when I was 11 years old, and something like that changes your outlook on life and what is important.   

There are a lot of undercover jobs where it could be life threatening if the person showed themselves on TV.  He obviously works in a dangerous environment.  I don't believe Dr Phil would have covered his face otherwise.

 

But with that said he is wrong to not try and bring this problem to an end.  Or tell his wife that he will see his mother without her (the wife) coming along and he will not expect his wife to associate with his mom until she (the wife) is more mature and can be civil.

Wow, someone who actually knows Jane.  You can tell us what exactly she did to make this situation happen.  To me this is a mother who tried to establish a relationship with her son's new girlfriend and made a few blunders along the way.  When it blew up in her face she apologized to her son and daughter in law to be and had her apology thrown back in her face for not being sincere enough. 

 

When the next thing happened ( as it does in every relationship we have) the new couple would pounce upon that as proof that the wicked witch was not really sincere and wasn't really sorry.  Finally out of desperation she went to her son and asked him to intervene and get the relationship on track.  What did baby Jay do, he went to his new cuddle mate and asked her to deal with big bear momma.

 

Finally out of desperation, Jane walked away from the couple and wrote Dr. Phil for help with this.  Did this satisfy cuddle bear.  Oh no, she continued to send hateful emails and say really nasty things on her my space page (because even though we asked her not to go on our page, she was still going on it) and then started calling and harrassing big bad momma.

 

Now maybe Dr. Phil cut a lot of the shows for his seemingly endless commercials. and we missed a great deal of the really wicked things that big bad momma did to cuddly bear and wimpy bear.  Maybe when they were on a commercial break big bad momma stood up and throttled cuddly with her bear hands (and I mean bear not bare) and little cuddly was hysterical and now she is so fearful of her life that she hates to be in the same room as big bad momma and editing of the show was made that when cuddly said I really hate her she really said I would really hate to be on the same stage as her.

 

Now Jane the big bad momma is backed into a corner.  Dr. Phil, Cuddly, Wimpy and Wimpy's MIL can all take a turn with body shots on this truly monstorous beast.  After all she brought a possee to the show.  Must be so she can take out cuddly in the green room right? 

This MIL is obviously not getting it. She is apologizing, but in truth she does not feel she needs to apologize for anything. They are just words. Just like Michelle pointed out. My MIL was (is) the same way. After ten years, she still continues to say "I don't understand what I did wrong" even though we have had many discussions about the situation. (A very long story!) Anyway, I have heard Dr. Phil on many occasions say a woman has a hard time letting go of something until she knows the other person "completely gets it". Michelle will have a hard time letting go, because the MIL doesn't "completely get it"! She is no where near of "completely getting it"!

 

Everyone is so hard on this couple. My goodness they have a whole "posse" against them. How are they ever going to make it? There is probably so much more to this story that the rest of us don't know. I am sure this girl has tried. She has probably tried to be gracious, but got to the point of enough is enough and lost it. Granted, she should never have said the things she did, but the MIL seems to have done her fair share of name calling. Neither is innocent.

 

The extended family need to give these two a break. Give them a chance to catch their breath, and calm down. They are just waiting in the wings for this marriage to go down in flames, so they can gloat and tell Jay "I told you so!" Do you think Jay will come running back to his family with open arms knowing they had a hand in destroying his marriage? I have a feeling he might be a little resentful if it does happen.

 

Michelle, I know you and your MIL will never be the best of friends. You don't even have to like her, but try and let go of a little of that hatred. Forgiveness is not about her and letting her off the hook. It is about freeing yourself from the pain and heartache. It will allow yourself to be a better wife, and someday a mother. It is not going to happen overnight. You all definately need some space and time apart. Hopefully, Jane and the extended family will allow the two of you to do that. I think you need the space so that one day you all can come together as a family.

 

I wish Jay and Michelle the best of luck! Marriage is hard enough without the whole world against them!

i watched both shows and found my self to be sadden by what was said by the son, daughter in law and the daughter in laws mother, i can say i was raised by a mother who never wanted kids and i am the baby of five. What the son needs to realize is that this is the lady who gave birth to him who was there for his first day of school the person who wiped away his tears when he was hurt, life is to short to let the petty name calling and the insecure feeling his bride has about there relationship to take away what a mother and grandmother can offer the sad thing is that he may never know what he is missing until it is to late, i understand there has been a lot of hurt i had to deal with some of these issues with my mother in law once i got married but you know what i miss my mother in law i am sad that she never got to meet my daughter you see she passed before she was born my son was only two so if i could give any advice it would be with all of the hate going on in this world you need to really take a step back and look at the total picture and love on another because one day she will be gone and it will be her son who will need to deal with never having the chance to say i love you and we want you to be a part of our life

 I'm sorry, but what am I missing?  Jane was a veritable saint on this show.  You sure sound biased.  You also must have been watching a totally different show than I was. 

Sure, Jane made mistakes in the past, but so did those awful kids, obviously.  What's more, those kids are STILL making them, and DEFIANTLY, to boot.  You're also making a whole lot of sweeping assumptions concerning Jane and what she may or may not have done while rearing Jay.  You have no idea what you're talking about, obviously.  The only judgments you can make are based on what we saw on these two shows, and from that alone, Michelle has clearly proven to be the biggest jerk of them all.

you do not sound as though you are happy.  these two never should have married obviously too young and immature  jane is still his mother and should have come to the wedding  that was a ver disrespectful and cruel thing to do