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Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

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Created on : Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 06:04:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/27/07) Dr. Phil follows up with a family torn apart when the mother was banned from her only son’s wedding. The bride-to-be, Michelle, said she’d rather burn in hell than let her future mother-in-law, Jane, attend the ceremony, and her fiancé, Jay, stood behind her decision. This sent the entire family into a tailspin, with the best man resigning, the aunt disowning the groom and the wedding planner on alert to call 911 if Jane showed up. The big day has come and gone, and everyone returns to update Dr. Phil with the latest. Were they able to bury the hatchet before the wedding? Jane has gone through a rollercoaster of emotions, and Dr. Phil finds out what has her so mad at him, she even wrote him a scathing letter one week after her appearance. Has Jane done a 180-degree turn since? Has Michelle stopped her “campaign of hate mail” as Jane called it and opened up her arms to her husband’s mother? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 27, 2007, 7:51 pm PST

missed wedding

I also did not attend my sons wedding. I was not banned per say,just not invited. My husband and I divorced when he was about 13. I left because  it was and abusive situation and I was so sick with depression that I thought the boys were better off without me. I was hospitalized several times just trying to stay alive. I understand how angry he probably was with me at the time. But he came to live with me at one point when he needed a place to stay. He left me a letter saying that I was ok in his book,when he was ready to leave. I thought things were ok with us. Then he fell in love with a nice girl I like a lot. They decided to have a small wedding on a cruise boat before it left port. I was not invited. His father was present and his new wife. He never said anything about it except it was lacking room for many people. I never made an issue of it. I've tried to forget. I didn't think it was worth a family war. I wonder now if by not fighting for my rightful place at the wedding I gave up my son. He lives about forty minutes away. He seldom calls. He doesn't want to do holidays, no gifts,no get togethers, I try to make times to get together at his convience he cancels. I cried when I saw the show tonight. My depression has been bad lately . I have a son {his identical twin brother who lives with me} He doesn't say much  but I know he misses him as much or even more than I do.

I thought I was giving him space he needed.I didn't want to drive him away. I still hurt badly. I don't know how to get by this sadness.

 
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November 27, 2007, 7:51 pm PST

Michelle and Jay:

Our daughter was married in 1997 July 12th. I told my daughter that the best copliment she could ever pay me was to treat her mother-in-law with dignity and respect. I was a living example of that for her and our sons. My chilren are respectful because they are what they learn. I have been married for 37 years in Jan. My mother-in-law was not my mom but the person she grew up to be. I couln't expect her to be the hero to me that my mom is to me. I was her care giver during her illness. She died after a sugery in the hospital. I loved her and miss her. She was a stinker!!!!! She didn't deserve my love or respect,but I had to overlook her imperfection as I know that I have many myself. God isn't through with me at this time. Michelle should be ashamed that she provoked so much hatred in her life in such a short time. Jay's mom has been through a tramatic empty nest situation and she is probably menopausal. Michelle will someday be in the same position. I wonder how she will find herself when taat occurs!

 
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November 27, 2007, 7:51 pm PST

Shame on groom and bride

I can't believe the son allowed his mother to be banned from the wedding!  He allowed a heartbreak to happen that will never fully heal.  So, he thinks that was the way to cut the apron strings?  That is not being a man!  I watched both episodes and thought Michelle was very condescending  and selfish.  Well that guy jumped out of the pan and into the fire, because the new bride is indeed a master manipulator.  I hope they practice birth control because those two aren't ready to provide a child with unconditional love.  They are both behaving like a couple of spoiled brats themselves.  Shame on them!
 
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November 27, 2007, 7:52 pm PST

Amen!!

Quote From: tracy1242

If there is an overbearing MIL then there is a wimpy husband not stopping it.  It doesn't take total isolation and turning your back on a loved-one to accomplish some healthy boundaries.

 

I'd like to know why he cannot tell his mom he loves her back.  I'd like to know what she did that he has so much disdain for her.  I think he knows in his heart of hearts that she is right about Michelle.

 

Jay cannot be truly happy having operated in the fashion he has operated.  He may think he is happy b/c he is keeping Michelle happy and thereby keeping Michelle, but one day when he is wiser he will know better. 

 

Jay is the biggest disappointment on the show.  What a LOSER. The second biggest disappointment is Michelle who is cold and unforgiving and also a liar.  She wants them apart and that's all there is to it.  The other major disappointment was Dr. Phil.  He didn't do a good job with this.

 

This kind of thing is going on everywhere, men turning their backs on their families for a woman who is really going to be bad news in the end.  This should be followed up with a two hour special at night time. 

 

This is a big issue.  And since men are just handing their spades over on a silver platter to marry little blonde bombshells they might as well know what else they give up down the road when they have kids with these self-centered unfeeling relentless, cold-hearted witches when they eventually turn on you.

 

Emasculated men, you will lose part of your income, part of your retirement and any savings, half your assets, your kids (women get them even if they are on drugs, the system is slanted that way), you will pay a hefty portion of your salary in alimony/child support.  Don't think you will be different, don't think  you'll get a good lawyer and come out better.  You won't, you'll just spend a lot of money.  Just look at the news, it's moms and the stepdads killing kids, if a man makes children with a selfish person one day his kids will be left with a step-dad and that person may be an abuser.  It is very sad and all you men out there should be very cautious in going into a marriage.  You should be more than sure you can trust the woman you marry.  She should not seem selfish or self-centered and should be looking out for what is best for you all the way around.  But usually these manipulators make you believe your family and friends aren't good for you and that only they are good for you.

 

In my opinion, from watching my brother with his own version of Michelle, I think men should enter into marriage very cautiously and only with a prenup and it should address specific situations and the custody of any future children.  A man has more to risk than a woman in marriage b/c of the slanted family court system and Jay may very well feel that first hand when he finally learns how evil Michelle is and I hope they don't have kids by then or he will really feel the pain his mom is feeling now.  His kids will be turned against him and used as pawns, no doubt about it.  That sweet mother of Michelle's won't seem so sweet when she protects  her daughter from Jay in the divorce.  She even tell the courts he is unfit, mark my words.  She'll do it because it will serve her interests just like it served her interests to support her daughter in this hatefest against Jane.  Michelle's mom now gets her daughter on all the holidays and doesn't have to share her daughter.  Who is the possessive one?  I think Michelle is and I think she gets it from her mom. Why doesn't her mom tell her to be a lady?  Nothing was presented to the audience that lends itself to the treatment that Jane is getting.. 

 

You don't have to sever a relationship to fix a problem.  Severing a relationship doesn't fix the problem, two people have areas where they need to grow.  If you sever the relationship, there can't be real growth, only pain.

 

 

My sentiments exactly, from witnessing a brother who was once a wonderful friend, son, brother, etc., that turned into a recluse cause of the sick person he married.  His world changed from a wonderful guy to someone we no longer hear from, because of the jealously she has toward a loving family for him. Sadly, he chose her, and eventually, he may wish he didn't waste years of life by his choice.
 
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November 27, 2007, 7:53 pm PST

Oh My Good Gosh!

I know that there are two sides to every story, however I simply do not understand Michelle and Jay's point of view. They are treating Jane like a child who has been sent to her room. Banning her from the wedding was a terrible thing to do, but they keep piling on the hurt by insisting on apologies. Unbecoming? Are you kidding me? Outrageous, spoiled brat comes closer in my mind. Oh, and Shannon....I would be so embarrassed if I were you. Imagine having your child act that way in public, let alone on national TV. And Dr. Phil...you gave them too much of a pass. I was really hoping that you would "really tell it like it is". I think you couched your comments and softened them for whatever reason. Shame on you! That's why Michelle is allowed to act that way.
 
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November 27, 2007, 7:55 pm PST

11/27 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Quote From: gigglewich

I am simply amazed and frankly disgusted by the lovely young bride on today's show... I kowtowed to my now ex-mother-in-law... and it was difficult. However, I have an ex husband I can communicate with and a friend in his mother.  I realized that she created this person I was  going to spend my life with, it couldn't hurt to have an ally.  I would never dream of treating her with anything but dignity and respect, as I would want my mother treated. 

 

If I were Jane, I'd wave them "buh-bye" and look into fostering a child.

 

 

Ha Ha , that's funny !!
 
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November 27, 2007, 7:56 pm PST

Jane I need a mom , you can contact me

Jane, If you need a friend i could use a mom. I can't believe that that nasty ass boy of yours would treat you that way. I would have love to been in the audience so i could get up in his face and let him know what a fool he is. My mom is passed on and shame on him for treating you with disrespect.   Shame on doctor phil for not providing him with some information about how he needs to respect him mom. if you stepped over boundries.. so what.. you deserve his forgiviness.. and michelle.. you made an ass out of yourself. your mom wants to say that jane made you look bad you made a full of yourself.   You don't harrass or keep a persons mom from the wedding day and create such hate.. for that little husband who cant reveal his face.. it just makes him look like a coward... thats all you all are...   Jane deserves RESPECT... get a clue. 
 
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November 27, 2007, 7:58 pm PST

LOL, Robin and Dr P at end of show.

Quote From: moetlisa

My sentiments exactly!

 

I have a brother that married someone that had numerous issues.  Prior to him meeting her, my brother and my mom had the closest relationship. As soon as this woman came into the picture, the world stopped with him, and his correspondence with us.  My mom was always gracious, yet pissed that he did this, but never displayed animosity toward this train-wreck of a woman, that had already alienated the rest of her family. To this day, my brother still doesn't contact the few family members he has, and I can only equate it to the fact that this woman never had close family, and she didn't want my brother to have it either, out of pure jealousy. Men, sadly, are like this, where they take the woman's side over and above anything else that was dear in their life.

 

Now back to this 2nd episode, I clearly see that Michelle has all the cards in her hand. While Sean's mom came across like a lunatic somwhat in episode one, I can understand her point in that it was a culmination of months of turmoil with her and her son and fiance.

 

This girl (now the wife) is immature, self-centered, and has wrapped this whimpy guy by his "you know what". Why else would he hide his identity??  Unless he's an employee of the CIA, or has some elite status regarding his employment, why did he HIDE?? I

 

It's because he really didn't stand by his beloved 100%, and was afraid of the ridicule and crap he would have to endure from his co-workers from Burger King (or whatever capacity he held). He stood by Bride-zilla, cause that's where he lays his head every night. 

 

I firmly believe that, once the "honeymoon" is over, and they have children, he is going to WISH that he didn't burn the bridge with his mom, and is ultimately stuck with a selfish child, that didn't even know what "family" meant to begin with (her mom surely made a credible impression on the show) lol

 

Karma is surely a bitch.  This guy should grovel at his mom's feet, cause Michelle to me, just doesn't seem like a mature enough person to realistically try to make this situation work. Sean will eventually wish he didn't turn against his mom for such trivial  he said/she said reasons.

 

And Dr. Phil didn't help matters at all with this second episode.  He included Michelle's mom, which gave absolutely NO decent imput to 2nd episode, never drilled Sean at all, to ask what his life was like with his mom before Michelle... Only drama, no therapy for the family to attend, just  a "Ratings" episode, sadly  This will soon be deleted, cause that's what Dr. Phils people do, delete negative things about him.  SO.. go on IMDB.com where you can say what you'd like about him and his show, and not be deleted.

 

Btw, Dr. Phil, love your show, but you could cut back on ending your show with you bringing your lovely wife, Robin walking with you to end the show.

 

WE GET IT.... YOU LOVE HER.... Stop throwing it down our throats... we already see it in your opening credits,,,,,  Enough Already.

 

 

 

I always think it is sweet she is at every show.  I admit I am jealous that they can do that.  I think though it must be important. Even though Dr. P isn't really good looking (mainly just the hair thing, but bald is getting in) I am sure he has a lot of admirers.  So, they need to scare the groupies off, so to speak.  I think that is it anyway.

 

Besides he writes all this stuff about family and it makes sense Robin would be there.  Maybe the camera could not span over there after every show. But now there are people who want to know what Robin is wearing.  She's very well liked.

 

LOL, though.  I sometimes feel jealous because of the Robin and dr P thing.  Especially when my hubby is being a jerk, I think  how lucky Robin is b/c her  husband is so level headed.

 

I was really disappointed with these two shows though  and didn't think that Dr. P did much but rehash the he said she said.  I'm no Dr. Phil, but I'd like to give it a shot.  I think I could have gotten farther than he did today and all I have is a business degree LOL.

 

Yesterdays show was disapointing as well.  I am glad that little twit blonde came home from Palestine, but it was not fun watching her hurt Abdulah on tv.  She should have done that with support but not on tv.  That makes it look like Americans delight in hurting him, which I think we all felt for him even if he  is a jerk and deserved it. 

 
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November 27, 2007, 8:01 pm PST

Tornado hit, let's rebuild

It's very unfortunate that the son left his mother out of a very important event in his life.  Certainly there was a lot of bad blood between the three of them but banning his mother from his wedding was a very harsh punishment.  The new bride needs to stop pointing the finger at her new mother-in-law and realize there are three pointing back at her.  Her smug attitudes and facial expressions certainly didn't show much maturity.  There has been enough verbal abuse on both sides and emotional healing needs to begin.  I think the mother was sincere in her changes and her whole manner on the show displayed that.  She was very polite, honest, apologetic and didn't look phoney to me.  (I was married to  a phoney).  The new bride better realize if she treats people this way her children will model it back to her.  If she can't get past her childish behaviour and get off her high horse she will end up denying her future children a very important person in their lives, namely their grandmother.
 
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November 27, 2007, 8:01 pm PST

11/27 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Quote From: oclulu

I know that there are two sides to every story, however I simply do not understand Michelle and Jay's point of view. They are treating Jane like a child who has been sent to her room. Banning her from the wedding was a terrible thing to do, but they keep piling on the hurt by insisting on apologies. Unbecoming? Are you kidding me? Outrageous, spoiled brat comes closer in my mind. Oh, and Shannon....I would be so embarrassed if I were you. Imagine having your child act that way in public, let alone on national TV. And Dr. Phil...you gave them too much of a pass. I was really hoping that you would "really tell it like it is". I think you couched your comments and softened them for whatever reason. Shame on you! That's why Michelle is allowed to act that way.
I agree with you about Michelle's mother, she should be ashamed but it's a sign that she is the one who spoiled Michelle if she condones how Michelle is acting.  I think Dr Phil gave them too much of a pass because Michelle is spoiled and self centered and a hardass against the mother in law because of those character traits, and I don't think Dr Phil wanted to turn her into more of an enemy because this was pretty much their only hope.  I don't think Michelle's spoiledness will go away because of Dr Phil and I think he knew that, but I think he was trying to appeal to whatever rationality and compassion that existed in her, and whatever manliness was left in the son.
 
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