Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Jane: Your going WAY overboard with this wedding. I mean come on. You need to pick up a new hobby, get a job, get a pet, I dont care get a new friend but for the LOVE of GOD let this GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO already. Can't you see yet, even DR. Phil is getting bored/annoyed with this petty issue. Your SON is grown up, he's gonna leave the house, he's gonna get married, he's gonna meet a new woman and get married. It's not up to you to like who he marries. You dont have to live with her! You dont sleep in the same bed with her, you dont make decisions with the woman. If he's happy with the woman then let it be. It's HIS life NOT yours.

It's getting to the point now where your starting to make a fool out of  yourself, starting to look very immature for someone whos getting up there in age, and the situation in a whole is getting... well boring..

My OLDEST brother JUST got married 2 weeks ago. My brother is only in his 30's and has been retired for 6 years already! He is super smart, super intelligent, started a business just out of university and it did so well an American company offered him close to 50 Million dollars for it. He decided to sell him life's work and start to enjoy his life. NOW don't ask me WHY, he is a computer type person, when he pulled up to Starbucks every morning in his Ferrari, Porsche, BMW or Mercedes Benz, the 24 yr old PART-TIME worker there asked my brother out. He said NO but she persisted and persisted and persisted almost to the point of stalking BUT he eventually gave in and went out with her. NOW he's super rich and set for life, she's in her mid 20's has NO MONEY, NO EDUCATION, She's not even very attractive at ALL, NO CAREER, NOT even a car that works, No desire to work, and she even quit her pathetic part-time minimum wage job. So IF you want to talk about complete 100% opposites in 1 million ways this relationship is it.

They so called 'dated' for 3 yrs and decided to get married. She went from absolutely NOTHING, to living the life of a queen. Even in the 3 yrs of dating I could do into details about HOW much MONEY of HIS she has wasted and wasted and wasted, and I mean LOADS of money...

No one in our family likes her, especially my mom and dad. BUT the end result is that ITS UP TO HIM, it's HIS LIFE, HE has to LIFE with her, not me, not my mom or dad, etc... So even NO matter HOW much we think its a totally wrong relationship, how she's only in it for the money. etc, etc, etc. He is a grown man, its his life, up to him and he has to life with her and alllll the consquences.... I mean even the wedding only 2 weeks ago, he had nothing to do with the wedding, as he said and I quote "I just sign the cheques", she OVER BOOKED the most expensive hotel by 49 rooms! and she is so bad with money and business that she signed a contact 1 month in advance of the wedding for 90% of the cost of the hotel, SO MY BROTHER HAD TO PAY AN EXTRA $20,000 just because of her stupidity......

Don't you think we were MAD, you should of seen MY MOM!

In the end it's up to my brother, its his life. Just as with your son. Nothing you can do. Let it go!

I have never replied to any radio or tv show in all my 60 years, but this touched my heart.  Maybe because I'm a mother and grandmother.  If I couldn't see my granddaughters, it would just kill me.  I do hope that Jane's son and daughter-in-law will give her a chance. It also sounds like her son doesn't want a relationship with his mom or he's being brainwashed by Michelle.  He said something about his mom calling them just once a month.  What is that?

What I see is Michelle is manipulative and wants Jay to herself. 

First time I've ever registered for a tv show.

Thanks for all the good that you do.

Brenda

Although I believe in forgiveness, considering who we are talking about it would be really funny. 

On a more serious note.  Jane, don't leave money to your son.  Leave it to your grandkids who you are not going to know because of sweet Michelle.  That selfish little wench will use your money to make her own self happy.  State in your will to leave your estate to grandchildren after they are 18.  That will be giving your son and grandkids a gift and make sure Michelle isn't partying over your grave. 

You know it is out of your control when you have to plan to reach back from the grave.  I'd leave Jay a video taped message that would rip his heart out completely.  Jay is a big idiot. 

I agree with Michelle, unless you have been in that situation you have no way of knowing what it is like.My inlaws are crazy, they have insulted me since the day I met my husband, I lived with him at his mothers (big mistake) for over a year in the beginning of our relationship and she called me every name in the book and the day I moved out she threw things at me as well. To this day she says horrible things about me and because she is older my husband thinks I should just suck it up, at least Jay is on the side of Michelle. A lot of times the mother in law likes to play the game of I am losing my son, well lets just say that she knew there was going to be a day when that was going to happen and for everyone who thinks Jay and Michelle should suck it up, there is only so much that one person can suck... take it from me.

Jenifer

I find it amazing that total strangers who have never even met these people, much less know what they have gone through....pronounce this young girl is a b---- or that this MIL "did a few things wrong".   

None of you know that.  What we do know is that Dr Phil is losing his touch.  Repeatedly we heard Dr Phil (and the MIL posse') say "this is his Mom".   Not one time did  he (or anyone else)   turn to Helen and say  "this is your son"!    We heard...how can you treat your Mom like that?  We never heard, how can you treat your son like that? 

Dr Phil said they needed to forget the past....but he also says the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.  So which is it Dr Phil???    

Dr Phil himself again preaches that you teach people how to treat you.  Now that this couple is trying to teach the MIL how NOT to treat them.....they are accused of not being gracious enough. 

Both shows were handled poorly.  There were no specifics about WHAT the MIL did.   How are we to judge if what she did was major or minor, when those FACTS were never revealed.  Just generalizations.  Dr Phil kept saying "she was caught speeding and ran a few red lights".     What are "red lights" to some people may be a hit and run to others.  We (as the viewing public) don't get to dictate "how much abuse" this young couple should tolerate.   And let's not sugar coat it here....it is ABUSE.    When a mother has an unnatural attachment to her son...that is abuse. 

The facts that were revealed was that the MIL "posse'" is still blaming her son and daughter-in-law shows that this MIL has no intention of ever changing.   Since the posse'  was the first people the MIL ran crying and gossiping to  (when she got caught abusing her son)....if she was truly sorry, the posse would have been the FIRST ones she would have gone to and said   " I was so wrong.  Would you please tell my son that I have acknowledged this?"   The posses' whole attitude was (if anything ) MORE arrogant than the first show, because the "she is trying" sympathy excuse was added.    This MIL is still crying and gossiping about how her son has "wronged" her.    That is exactly why this will never be resolved.   There is a HUGE difference between saying you are sorry because you have seen the error of your ways   AND  saying your are sorry TO GET WHAT YOU WANT!  And this is the only reason the MIL is now saying I am sorry.  Once again,  it is to get what she wants.   

As for taking the "high road"...take from someone who "took the high road" for 12 YEARS (and went through MIL HELL)  before we cut the MIL out of our lives.... unless you have walked in those shoes...you have no clue and your opinions are as useless as the MIL apologies.

As Dr Phil said...the only thing that is worse than taking abuse for 12 YEARS is to take it for 12 years and one day.

I truly hope this MIL completely changes and stops abusing her son and his new wife...but I did not see any evidence of that happening.

But I can sense your frustration. Is there anything your mother can continually do to break you spirit, I understand mistakes but mistakes are made so you can learn from them but not continually make mistakes.

I have respect and love for my mother but you can bet there would be boundaries being a mother does not give you a license to ruin your childs life, disrespect your child, ruin your childs credit, scream and yell. Everyone has their limits of abuse. She abused your credit I hope you didn't say it was okay and swept it under the rug and not acknowledge your feels to her and set some guidelines.

Being a son or daughter is not about being a door mat for your parents. Parents are custodians for their children. They pass through you to guide and care for you don't own them like property. All parents have hopes and dreams for their children, but they are separate human beings they are mature grown people. Children are not your whole life you let them go each and every step of the way so they can stand on their own, make their own decisions right or wrong.