Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

OMG! I am in my late twenties getting ready to make that leap into my thirties, but I have never been more ashamed of my generation than what I was when watching the show.

Michelle and her "yellow-bellied" husband just disgusted me beyond belief. I know from experience there is SHARED blame to go around in that family. However, I also know from my upbringing you do not disrespect your future husband's parents in any way, shape or fashion no matter what had been said, done or implied. If my mother was sitting next  to me on that couch and saw me disrespect my MIL in any way, you would have seen my a** get tore up by my mother on national TV. She would not have defended my actions in any way shape or form. I guess we know where Michelle gets her "Princess" attitude from.

There are no excuses for that treatment to the MIL, even if she didn't fess up to everything, no excuses from the son or the "Princess". I sincerely doubt there will be any attempt from Michelle to make things right between her and her MIL, it was undoubtedly apparent on the show, MIL had done everything she possibly could in 2 months to correct any actions she took. I didn't hear the therapist say the yellow bellied son say anything about going to therapy himself, and I sure didn't hear the princess say anything to that effect as well.  I can honestly say, and I thought I would never say this about any couple in my lifetime, they are much better off getting an annulment.They both need to be working with the MIL and a therapist PRIOR to saying I do, because when you marry the man, you marry the family.

Karma can be a great tool to use, because Michelle is going to get hers in the end by having a daughter and/or son in law exclude her from her kids lives. And maybe she will see through the eyes of a MIL what she has put her husband and (current) MIL through.

From what I've seen, she has done nothing to instigate the turmoil btwn herself and the newlyweds. She may have done some name-calling, but I feel that she is a passionate woman who is simply trying to continue a loving relationship w/ her ungrateful, arrogant son. She may have gone about it the wrong way, but her heart is truly in the right place. Michelle claims that they want "acknowledgment" of MIL's past actions and words, but what about what they've done? They want Jane to do backflips and jump through hoops to prove how much she's changed for the better. I don't see the couple showing any concern about where the collective relationship now sits. As painful as it might be, Jane should just quit while she's ahead w/ them, and continue to better herself, for herself.

I wish my mother were alive today so I could give her a hug and tell her how much I love and miss her.

Jay, I feel sad that you wouldn't let your mother come to the wedding.  She is the woman who gave you life after all.  She would have been busy chatting with other guests and family most of the time.  No matter what, your Mom will be there for you, Jay.  Please invite her over for Christmas. No one has a perfect family.

It was mean to cut up the flowers!!!  She was trying to do something nice for you.

Jane, I applaud your progress.  I think Michelle is difficult,  "ungracious" as Dr. Phil said, but I hope you can forgive her.

Joy to all of you!

Triplets! Oh My Oh My!

I wish there was a way I could correspond with Jane, if only to tell her that she is not alone in how she is being treated by her own child and the spouse.  She sounds like she is a nice lady who has tried everything she could think of to reach out, only to be hurt and emotionally abused time after time after time.  After a certain point the anger and pain starts talking - after all everyone has their breaking point and a certain amount of pride in ones' self is healthy, in my opinion.  'I wouldn't let a stranger treat me the way I am being treated, so why should I allow my son to treat me this way' - is what I'm hearing Jane say.  I can totally relate to how Jane is being treated, as I am being treated the same way by my own daughter and her husband, and NO ONE in the whole entire family can tell me why.  I haven't seen my grandchildren in over a year.  Oh and by the way, they both treat my daughter's husband's mother the same way. 

I feel so badly for Jane and wish her the best of luck in living within this situation.  Take good care of yourself and know that there are others who understand your heartache.  I think Dr. Phil handled this show & your feelings poorly.  Whatever happened to the idea that a child should be respectful of their parent and honor their parent as their parent gets older.  Boy, that is right out the window these days, isn't it.  The one thing Dr. Phil said that I wholly agreed with was the 'what goes around comes around/karma' comment.  

Anyway, I hope Jane reads this.  Bless you Jane and keep up the good self-improvement work - we always have room to grow, spiritually and emotionally.

Oh BOO HOO... I am always amazed at the amount of people who seem to always feel sorry for the MIL. Get with it people. There ARE MIL's out there that just can't seem to cut the cord from their baby boys and do everything in their power to prevent them from being a MAN! Everyone saw the behavior of this MIL and others on the Dr. Phil show. It's no wonder the son and DIL have issues with her. All this BS about "blood," "it's your mother," "it's family," can sometimes just be a big CROCK! Blood, mothers, and families should not put grown children with a life of their own through the HELL and misery that most of these MILs I've seen on this show have done because they can't manage their OWN lives. THEY are the ones that need to GET A LIFE!! They spent years "raising their child to be independent, to become a productive member of society, marry and have a family of their own." Or that is the way it should be... they should be happy and cherish those times when their kids are at home. They need to realize that when your child grows up, takes a spouse, and pays his own bills, and has HIS OWN CHILDREN that you (in-laws) are a "guest" in what ever decisions are made in their own family. That means vacations, religion, schools and holidays, whatever. BUTT OUT! If we want your opinion or advice, we'll ask for it. Just be HAPPY for them that they found someone to love even if YOU don't approve. Let them live and learn from their own mistakes.

As a DIL, you tell my husband I'm lazy and worthless, don't whine when I want nothing to do with you. When you call me a B***h and a S**t... well, thems fighting words and I have no sympathy for you. Why should I live a stressful life when YOU are the one with the problem! If you would learn to knit, join a some kind of group that plays cards or something, volunteer, just do something with your own life and butt out of OURS!! Then maybe we would enjoy the times spent together and it would be more pleasant when you don't consume ours 24/7/365!

If you would just CHILL OUT, be a mother and grandmother and not try to be your son's WIFE, maybe things would be better.

And yes, sometimes IT IS TO LATE to mend relationships. Life is to short to be miserable worring about trying to deal with or appease in-laws that have already put you through HELL. If you are happy in your own skin after being drug through HELL AND BACK by mothers in laws that seem to want to NURSE GROWN SONS INTO ADULTHOOD, I say LIVE AND LET LIVE! Yes, it could be that a MIL might "pass" tomorrow, but in my experience I have witnessed, "only the good die young but meanness lives forever! Live for today with what make YOU happy for TOMORROW may never come.

P.S. Dr. Phil, until YOU become a WOMAN and experience first hand the torture some women go through with MILs, please don't call some of the women "bullies" and "poor stewards of power." None of us really want the fighting, we just want our rightful place as WIFE and MOTHER of our own family.

PP.SS. I love my children (2 daughters) but when they go off on their own, my husband I and will be there when and if they ever need us, but trust me... we will be enjoying our empty nest doing things we couldn't do while raising kids.