Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

RIGHT ON!  All the back and forth is garbage. Grow up and be mature. Get some respect for the Mother.

I watched the show to day regarding Michelle and her mother-in-law, and one question I have to ask is why is Michelle so unforgiven.  It seems to me that she does not want her mother-in-law to be a part of her son's life.  If you watch her facial expressions, it indicates that she is not willing to bridge the gap that exists between them.  Her son, I strongly believe as a lot to do with the estrangement between themselves because he just allows his wife, Michelle to say all these things about his mother.  In this life, we are given one mother, to cherish and to love regardless of their faults and shortcomings.  It is just the law of nature.  We have to learn to forgive and to be forgiven, and it appears that they are not willing to even take the small step to a positive relationship, instead they keep rehashing what she did and not listening to the fact that she has taken steps to be a better person.  At least acknowledge that she is trying.  I think Michelle and her husband both need to listen to what Dr. Phil said at the end of the show.  It would be sad that if anything unfortunate happen to either the mother or her son and the conflict that exists between is not resolve.  That would be a sad state of affairs.  What I think Michelle should do is to allow her husband and his mother to reconnect with each other on a one and one basis, then work on the relationship between her and her mother-in-law.

 

Another aspect of this story is the lack of concern by Michelle's mother regarding her daughter's behavior.  How would she feel if she had a son who was married to someone like Michelle and exhibit that sort of behavior towards her.  How would she feel?  I think she needs to impart some common sense to her daughter instead of enabling her behavior.

 

I hope with the passing of time that the relationship between Michelle, her husband and his mother can have a happy ending.  After all, life is too short.  Let us learn to forgive and love each other.

I agree that time away is necessary for all those involved to de-escalate the situation.  It worked for me as well and it makes it easier to put things into perspective and learn to get along with dificult personalities

This show was incredibly frustrating to watch.  It made me come to this board and sign up and post for the first time.

 

Here’s the kicker that got me…there was mud slinging and name calling on BOTH sides and both at fault from show 1 which contributed to the poor relationship.  Today, the mother was on trial for most part of the show for HER behavior.  I wanted to blow a gasket!  The mother was the only one that apologized several times and made an effort to go to counseling, books, analyzing herself to become better.  Even when she did apologize it was never good enough and the son and daughter in law were combative over it!  For the love of…I couldn’t believe it.

 

On the first show the mother was told by her son and daughter in law to basically shape up and fly right and do a complete change or she would be out of their lives and that she did.  Frankly, If I had to work that hard on getting approval by my son to be in his life and then after trying to get a slap in the face it wasn’t enough, I wouldn’t.   

 

I wanted Dr. Phil to say, “hold on son and daughter in law, your hands are not clean in the mess.  You two weren’t angels!”  Yet they sat up there on stage expecting apologies and had the attitude that you owe me!  I understand that the agenda was to heal the relationship, but the mother for most of the show was on trial. 

 

It was obvious to me that the mother was really trying and was holding back when things were said that really bothered her.  Something she did not do on show 2.  The son and daughter acted EXACTLY the same with no remorse, no change, didn’t want to budge one bit.  They had that self-righteous attitude like you owe me. 

 

I’m sure a lot are thinking the same as me that the daughter in law is instigating this whole thing and the son is being weak about it.  Had he stood up and was a man about it from the start this probably wouldn’t’ have gone this far.   

 

The son is going to wake up one day and discover what type of person his wife really is – controlling and manipulative and when he gets a divorce he is going to look up and see has no family around him. 

 

Mother is you are reading this, I’m proud of you making the effort.  Remember though it’s a give and take in relationships.  If you see that you are the only one trying to make it work and continue to make the effort and giving, you need to walk.  That kind of relationship is not healthy and will tear you down in the inside.

 

Even though my post might not be read, I still feel better posting it.

I feel sorry for Jane as she has worked hard to overcome learning not to spoil her only child. He on the other hand has not done anything. Nothing, words or actions give those two the right to treat Jane as they did, especially after the second show.

           I hope those two have a child who treat them the same way..........That is always a "gottcha from God"

Mary

It does seem that Michelle will be watching her mother-in-law like a hawk so she can use the right fight again.  She reminds me of a high school girl not a grown woman.  Her additude may have worked there but not in the real world.  What goes around really does come around. 

 

I will share with you what my mother shared with me about sons. 

 

She said:    Daughters are forever, sons come home as long as their wives let them. 

 

My sons first wife was raised by a mother who told her that her biological father didn't do good enough so she divorced him and found one that would.  It was a money thing, better life style.  She did the same to my son while he was in school and working a full time job. So I think Michelle was taught this behavior maybe not openly but still taught. 

 

Since this first daughter-in-law both my sons have dated and been in relationships.  The elder has married and has a son.  My daughter-in-law knows I don't agree with all they do.  But I work hard at keeping the lines of communcation open.  You will know you have it made when she calls you mom.

 

 

The lack of respect that Jay and his wife show for his mother is awful.  I believe that the mother is clearly being expelled from her son's life by the new daughter in law who will never allow this situation to heal.  The mother will never say of do the right thing.  The daughter in law seems to be competing with Jay's mother.  I think it is a lack of self esteem on the daughter in law's part which will only fester and affect every relationship that Jay has with other people.  For the daughter in law to be happy that Jay's mother and others that Jay was close to weren't at the wedding and everything was great is a true sign that everything is not fine.  Some of the people that Jay has been the closest too were not at one of the most important days of his life and he and his wife thought that was fine-Problems!!!!!  Jay's wife doesn't realize that she has alot in common with Jay's mother-they both have self-esteem/control issues.  There's that old saying you marry someone like your mother!!!!!

I'd say max 4 years.

Jay, id bet u hurting inside.

How can u let all this sh*t happens?

Man up, you will see Michelles true color here soon.

 

I'd like u mom stay away anyway, so its not her fault for your marriage to brake apart!

When michelle its done with ur mom... she will pick on u!

You both must not make mistake being so rightous like that!

You'll rip what u sew!

I believe the foundation were they are starting is totally wrong.

Michelle should just leave this relationship. She is crazy to stay where she is clearly not wanted.

One day her husband is going to throw her to the dogs as he has thrown away his mother.

Shame on him! She speaks for him! He has no backbone! He is obviously worried she will leave him.

She is a witch. Its her son! Not hers! Its her blood, one day it will call him back!

The second point is that maybe he is just not worth it. They are all fighting for him and he just sits back and enjoys the soap opera. Wonderful moves! I hope he cheats on her right away so Michelle leaves him, and then I hope the mother puts her energy somewhere else. I am sure that if she had money Michelle would be so sweet.. does the son have money? maybe that is why she got him, after its spent shell probably leave him for the next one. 

Michelle is disgusting.. in a real way. she acts sassy and her eyes rolling.. OMG! power struggle, big time!

Hey Dr. Phil, what is working for any of them?

Di

The Aunt was concerned because Dr. Phil had been so tough on the Mother and she was clearly upset about it.  I think the "posse" comment also was designed to put Jane in a bad light.  The Uncle and Cousin were upset because they could clearly see the situation.  The best man did the right thing in bowing out of the wedding.  Other familly members should call this couple on their boorish behaviour.