Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

I would love to bash Michelle, but I am more upset about a son turning his back on his mother. Is no one here an adult? Why did not Jay talk to his mother without the bitch from hell and straighten all of this out together?! I have an open relationship with my sons and expect them to let me know if and when I overstep my boundaries.

I watched both shows. It is obvious the Mother of Jay has really strived to make changes in her behavior and understanding of the situation.  What have Jay and Michelle done? NOTHING. It takes "two to tango". A person can not argue without a person on the opposing side. These two are stuck in the past. THe bad comments by both parties is over. It is time to move on. The comments can not be taken back, so get over it and move on. These two need to see what they will be losing if they do  not work this out with his  mother.

  Watch out Michelle, because the old saying goes...  You know how you will be treated by your husband, by the way he treats his own Mother!  Just something to think about! 

OMGoodness on the Nellie Olsen!  All through BOTH shows I kept thinking, "who does she remind me of???"  It is Nellie.  And honestly, not just the hair but the whole attitude...fortunately or unfortunately, she wears her cruelty on her face, just like Nellie.

Lastly, please don't feel like many young people are just like Michelle.  Many, many of the kindest, loving people I know are her age.  Nothing like her.

I find it interesting that the son and new wife are demanding his mother admit to what she has said but there has been no acknowledgment on their parts as to what they have done.  I cannot imagine ever being alright with someone let alone my spouse state on national t.v. that he/she hates my mother.  It appears that his wife has some serious issues with his mother.  I believe that she does not want his mother involved in their lives.  And I am not condoning what his mother may or may not have done.   But his new wife threatened her with her son, told her she would never see her grandchildren, that she would never have anything to do with them and their lives, etc.  How did they expect her to react.  If I could talk to her son I think I would have to say  shame on you.  Maybe part of the problem is immaturity.  We all encounter people that are difficult to get along with but most of us find a way--think of work!  I am certain that some of the things his mother did and said should have been ignored.  That woman is trying so hard.  It is obvious and yet they kept nitpicking at the situation and her statements.  Maybe when they have children they will get a better perspective.  And the wife's mother deserves a shame on you as well.  I do not particulary care for my father-in-law.  Quite frankly I think he is the most miserable person ever to grace this planet.  But, I would never try to cut him out of my husband's life.  That is unforgivable.  And if I had considered it for one moment you better believe my mother would have corrected my behavior!  Where was her mother?  Why didn't she tell her that sometimes we have to work at getting along with people we otherwise might not have anything to do with.  How would she have felt if she had not been invited to her only child's wedding?  Those are actions you cannot take back.  They are sitting on stage squabbling with her over comments she made and because she had the nerve to send them roses and yet they were the ones who committed the most hurtful act!  He did not let his own mother attend his wedding!  That to me is unbelievable.  I think these two have some serious growing up to do especially his wife.  And Dr. Phil is correct when you do hurtful things they do come back on you. 

Whether the daughter-in-law is right or wrong...she is COLD.  If she doesn't stop raising her eyebrows in such a snotty "my s**** don't stink"  way..they are going to stay like that.  She is not perfect either and should be a little more understanding that this her husband's mother.  

Michelle may not always be his wife but Jane will always be his mother.  I think the son will regret his actions one day.

Shame on Michelle and her family or friends for faking a post!!!

Yes a man separates from his mom and gets married.  That doesn't mean they stop talking. That doesn't mean the mom doesn't stop caring and having things to say about his life.  Now the mom will have to learn new  boundaries and that she cannot criticize the wife her son will take.  That is just not a good thing to do. 

We don't know enough about Michelle to know if Jane had legitimate concerns about Michelle or not.  I will say if a girl comes around one  of my boys and she already has a child at a young age, I will have some concerns because apparently a relationship that created a child was abandoned.  That is a real red flag if my son comes home with a girl with this in her past.  That doesn't mean she won't turn out to be wonderful, it's just not my vision for my sons.

Everyone who agrees with Michelle keeps saying the relationship with Jane and Jay is unhealthy.  I"d like to know how you know that?  I'd like to know why it is unhealthy, aside from name calling which is all the way around and only a symptom of the problems here.   Is there no way to mend an unhealhty relationship are you advocating that men should forget their parents to embrace their wives?  Why does the mom have to be destroyed?

Nobody has told us why they started the fighting in the first place.  This leads me to believe that Michelle started it by telling her fiance' that her MIL offended her and that set off a chain of he said she said and it is all overblown at this point. 

A MIL should not criticize a soon to be wife to his son, that will only hurt the mom.   That said, it is hard to watch your son or daughter step into something that you dont think is right. 

Why does everyone assume Jane has nothing to do besides cling to her adult son?  Sure if that is her only son, then he was/is a major part of her life.  But it doesn't necessarily mean she wants him to live at home and be the one filling the void in her life.  I  haven't heard her say anything that leads me to believe she was jealous of Michelle for taking her son away.  I think she just didn't realize this was "the one" and when she criticized her for whatever it became a very big deal, especially since Michelle is a control freak.  Michelle took advantage of this opportunity to isolate Jay so she can manipulate him. 

Why can't his mom speak her mind and be herself (aside from being mean) with her son and dil?  Just because she wants to impart advice or feels she is right, that is just a personality quirk.  Deal with it.  Besides she may be right sometimes, who knows?  Just because she gives advice out of her heart that doesn 't mean as husband and wife you have to take it.

Maybe Jane made some mistakes, why not forgive her and move on.  Then Jane could forgive Jay and MIchelle for being disgraceful brats and Jane could forgive Michelle's mom for also not being a champion here.  Why doesn't Michelles mom tell her daughter to handle this differently.  Why all the drama.  She is just reveling in being the good MIL and having her daughter all to her self.  Maybe she sees a gain in this as well.

I am tired of everyone promoting dumping your parents if you disagree with them or they don't make you feel good all the time.  That is not right.  If you keep that up you will be alone.

Michelle and family, you should be reading not posting, you little devils. 

Seriously, this post really does sound like it was written by Michelle, especially with all the emphasis on "beautiful, sweet, and intelligent."  You forgot to mention the springy curls of golden hair, flowers spring up from her footsteps wherever she goes, and birds trill her name from the trees in a sweet chorus that brings tears to the eyes of angels.

Personally, speaking as one whose MIL can be a major pain in the butt, I thought that Michelle and Jay were more interested in getting even than reconciliation.  I mean, who cuts up flowers?  That was incredibly petty.

Jane's got her own issues, but at least between the councelling, reading, etc, there seemed to be a sincere effort on her part to imropove the situation.