Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

The MIL has not changed.  She has just found another way to control the situation.  The old MIL wouldn't get a foot in the door.  Now the new improved one has everyones sympathy and she has a different

method of control.  I am amazed how easily the councellor was sucked into her Mary Poppins routine,

and the audience too.  Unfortunately, councellors are very easy to manipulate.  She certainly knows what she is doing.

Jane showed more composure and willingness to change than the young couple did.  I agree with another writer on this message board----I'd love to see a follow up on this in a year or so.  The young bride is so bitter and doesn't show a bit of love, compassion or forgiveness.  I don't think her husband will be able to live with that hatred very long.   My sympathies to Jane for what she is going through.  Jane if you read this, please know that many of us are praying that things all work out.  At least YOU are trying ! 

Shame on Michelle and her family or friends for faking a post!!!

Yes a man separates from his mom and gets married.  That doesn't mean they stop talking. That doesn't mean the mom doesn't stop caring and having things to say about his life.  Now the mom will have to learn new  boundaries and that she cannot criticize the wife her son will take.  That is just not a good thing to do. 

We don't know enough about Michelle to know if Jane had legitimate concerns about Michelle or not.  I will say if a girl comes around one  of my boys and she already has a child at a young age, I will have some concerns because apparently a relationship that created a child was abandoned.  That is a real red flag if my son comes home with a girl with this in her past.  That doesn't mean she won't turn out to be wonderful, it's just not my vision for my sons.

Everyone who agrees with Michelle keeps saying the relationship with Jane and Jay is unhealthy.  I"d like to know how you know that?  I'd like to know why it is unhealthy, aside from name calling which is all the way around and only a symptom of the problems here.   Is there no way to mend an unhealhty relationship are you advocating that men should forget their parents to embrace their wives?  Why does the mom have to be destroyed?

Nobody has told us why they started the fighting in the first place.  This leads me to believe that Michelle started it by telling her fiance' that her MIL offended her and that set off a chain of he said she said and it is all overblown at this point. 

A MIL should not criticize a soon to be wife to his son, that will only hurt the mom.   That said, it is hard to watch your son or daughter step into something that you dont think is right. 

Why does everyone assume Jane has nothing to do besides cling to her adult son?  Sure if that is her only son, then he was/is a major part of her life.  But it doesn't necessarily mean she wants him to live at home and be the one filling the void in her life.  I  haven't heard her say anything that leads me to believe she was jealous of Michelle for taking her son away.  I think she just didn't realize this was "the one" and when she criticized her for whatever it became a very big deal, especially since Michelle is a control freak.  Michelle took advantage of this opportunity to isolate Jay so she can manipulate him. 

Why can't his mom speak her mind and be herself (aside from being mean) with her son and dil?  Just because she wants to impart advice or feels she is right, that is just a personality quirk.  Deal with it.  Besides she may be right sometimes, who knows?  Just because she gives advice out of her heart that doesn 't mean as husband and wife you have to take it.

Maybe Jane made some mistakes, why not forgive her and move on.  Then Jane could forgive Jay and MIchelle for being disgraceful brats and Jane could forgive Michelle's mom for also not being a champion here.  Why doesn't Michelles mom tell her daughter to handle this differently.  Why all the drama.  She is just reveling in being the good MIL and having her daughter all to her self.  Maybe she sees a gain in this as well.

I am tired of everyone promoting dumping your parents if you disagree with them or they don't make you feel good all the time.  That is not right.  If you keep that up you will be alone.

Michelle and family, you should be reading not posting, you little devils. 

Whether the daughter-in-law is right or wrong...she is COLD.  If she doesn't stop raising her eyebrows in such a snotty "my s**** don't stink"  way..they are going to stay like that.  She is not perfect either and should be a little more understanding that this her husband's mother.  

Michelle may not always be his wife but Jane will always be his mother.  I think the son will regret his actions one day.

Well I just got through watching this episode, hoping for a better outcome for the sake of Jay and his Mom. It is apparent that Michelle has no intentions of forgiving her Mother-in-law of her past failures.  My sincere hope is that Jay will learn what it means to be a real son. Jane is doing more than her share of working out the flaws in her character. I suppose Jay never needed his Mom's understanding and compassion and forgiveness in all the years that she raised him. How easy it s to forget all that our parents have to go through for us.

Michelle and Jay have a list of demands Jane MUST meet in order to be a part of Jay's life. Well I sure hope they have a realistic measuring stick. I honestly don't think anyone could live up t their standards.It's obvious that the first mistake Jane makes and the whole thing is down the tubes. What happened to tolerance.? Are Jay and Michelle really that perfect that they can demand hat people live by certain terms or they're history? Wow!!!! 'm floored.

Who doesn't have family members who are at times hard to deal with. I do. And I have found that UNCONDITIONAL love, forgiveness, compassion, and tolerance make a happy family. Michelle is allowed by her Husband, Mother and Dr.Phil to think she is in no way wrong for this mess.She is very selfish and has a huge ego. I'm a daughter, daughter-in-law, and have a son who will marry one day. In every thing have seen of this fiasco, this problem will remain until Michelle also gets therapy for her insane hatred, and Jay for his complacent despising of his own mother. SO SAD!!!! Keep up the good work Jane. Even if they don't come around, you've done your part.