Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Let's hope it doesn't make it long enough to produce children.  That would be a real shame.  Because the evil witch will get the kids and she and her mother will turn out more disgraceful pigs like Michelle.

Unfortunately many marriages like this make it a long way.  It depends how long he keeps jumping through hoops.  He should ask himself if he sees his old friends, how often he sees family since meeting Michelle.  Is she interested in his work or meeting people he works with?  Is she really into him or what he can do for her and the power trip she gets making him do it for her.  I couldn't stand hearing her say for him on the first show "He's okay with it".  In regard to not speaking to his mom and cutting her out of the wedding.  Jay should ask himself what all is he doing that he should not be doing to keep Michelle happy.  If he answers yes to one or more of the following he may be in a truly unhealhty relationship (not like the one Michelle said he had with his mom).

1. Have I stopped seeing my friends since dating Michelle.?

2. Does Michelle dislike my friends?

3.  Have I ended any important relationships because of my relationship with Michelle?

4. Am I spending money I should be spending elsewhere (savings, paying debt) or creating debt to keep Michelle happy?

5. Have I done anything that I regret because I wanted to make Michelle happy?

If you answered Yes, to two or more you are doomed!!!!!

I think she looks like Miss Piggy, but Nellie Olsen is ruder, so it fits.

  Thanks.  I do believe that sometimes many don't ever have to go through dealing with sneaky, manipulative people on a regular basis, and if they do, they tend to forget what it was like right in the middle of the worst of it or when they too may have been young and unsure and insecure in a new situation.

  I can understand the angst from all sides, but someone does have to step up to be the mature one.  And if it means they all get counseling, and Jay has to see his family alone for a while, that may be best until some of the anger has resided. At least Jane has started counseling and hopefully she continues and tries to do her best to cool down some of the other extended family members as well and try her best to encourage them not to help add to making the situation worse.  Seriously, it's not a game where everyone needs to take sides and gang up.  Jay and Michelle are young and new to all of this and being self-righteous, and the older generation in that family seems to be making a lot of mistakes too.   I would think that someone would have stepped up in that family and tried to stop all of the drama already instead of just adding fuel to the fire.  It looks to me like no one has quite yet grown up in that entire family.

Any woman who loves her husband, will, out of that love, take the high road, and do whatever it takes to get along with her MIL.  My 1st MIL disliked me because, in her eyes, I was taking her son away from her.  She did & said many ugly things to try to break up our relationship and later our marriage.  I knew my husband was concerned, because she had run his first wife away.  Because of the way I was raised, I took the high road, and made sure my MIL was provided for on special holidays, and squeased money out of our meger newlwed budget to sent her extra money when I could.  I also sent light hearted funny cards and wrote informative letters between times.  On Good Friday in April of 1974, we had planned to go to my husbands hometown to take my MIL to the doctor, go shopping, and to fix some things around her house.  Unfortunatly, I had gotten a new job and couldnt make the trip, but I insisted my husband go without me so that he could do what needed to be done.  On the day after Good Friday, he was in his mother's home when he passed out in her living room floor, and the next day, Easter Sunday, he died at the age of 31.  We hadnt seen my MIL since Christmas, & if I hadnt insisted that he take the trip, my MIL would have missed time being with her last child before he died.  I let her tell me what type of service she wanted, what kind of music she wanted played at the funeral, and included her in all the decisions.  I have never regretted my decision and it never occured to me to go back and remember all of the wrongs or ugly words.  The only thing that mattered, was that this mom and son were able to say their goodbyes.

Jay, you will only have one mother, and although you are so in love with Michelle today, with the current divorce statistics, you may have more that one wife.  How will you feel when you have to explain to your children, why their grandmother wasnt invited to the wedding.  And shame on you for not being man enough to tell your mother how YOU feel, instead of letting your wife do the talking.  If you have issues with your mom you should be the one to bring them up for discussion.

I hope every one in this situation will look at themselves closely.  At least Jane is getting counseling.  What are Jay & Michelle doing?  Please everyone-forgive & move on. Make peace.  You wont regret it, I promise.

First of all I cannot believe that I am actually typing a message on the Dr Phil message board, but I had to comment on what took place on the show today and the previous show.  I think that the son should be ashamed of himself to let anybody talk to his mother like that regardless to what his mother had to say about his girlfriend at the time.  The key word being girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!  They come and the go and you only get one mother.  Don't get me wrong I do not for one minute think that the mother should be calling his girlfriend any names, but what I saw from the show the mother's behavior did not warrant such harsh and demeaning actions that took place by that girl and her son.  He is a coward not only for not standing up for his mother, but for kicking her out of his life and not showing his face on the show.  He wants to be a man he should have shown his face so the whole world could see how much of a coward he really is.  I really wish that you could bring them back on the show and invite me so I could tell him that blood is thicker than water and you get only one mother.  Both of my parents and deceased and I would not wish that on my worst enemy.  Once again the mother is not a saint, but she did not deserve what she got and he owes her the biggest apology.  I have so much to say and not enough space to say it.  Please Dr Phil I wish that you could read this and invite me to the show so I can let him know what is really going on.  Thanks Juan

   I needed the good giggle I got from reading about Michelle the beautiful, sweet, intelligent with "springy curls of--probably fake--golden hair, the flowers springing up from her footsteps wherever she goes, and the Beatles trilling her name "Michelle, our Belle" from the trees in a chorus bringing tears to the eyes of Angels.

   I remember that the Animals did the song Please don't let me be Misunderstood.  What is the song that fits by the Byrds?

Not quite sure what his "profession" was that he had to hide his face, but I would say it was actually hiding from embarrassment!  He has no "b_lls".  From the first show through this one it was Michelle "All About Me".  Her mouth ran constantly.  She controlled every conversation with her whining and her hatefulness.  If she is this way to the mother of her husband, I can only imagine how she deals with life on a daily basis.  And there sat her mother, defending her! 

And, the fact that she couldn't see what a brat she is after watching the replay of the show leads you to understand that she completely and totally revels in the grandstanding and drama.  I would bet that if it isn't this, she will find some other drama to stir up.  And, of course, it will always be someone else's fault!   

Sorry, Jay.....you married a first class whining, gotta have it my way, it's all about me, immature, brat, "B".  However, with your lack of intestinal fortitude and your lack of respect for your mother......you deserve her!  

Dr. Phil.......totally disappointed at the way you let BOTH Jay and Michelle continue to rant and rave.  Giving that girl air time to have her tantrums........shame on you!