Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

I can't believe I've watch this particular episode as long as I have. It's beyond irritating.

 

But since I have, it's appalling to me the behavior and disrespect of the son. Why he's even on the show is mystifying to me. He seems to be unable to talk for himself, think for himself and shows absolutely zero emotion in relation to this issue with his mother. He appears to be to be completely disconnected and on the show, is just mouthing the words his now wife continues to utter. He doesn't seem to be upset with his mother, yet he continues to let the woman he chose to live his life with control this situation. Yes she is now a main part of his family but she should not control his relationship with his mother. She should not have a say in whether or not he will have a relationship with his mother. It's not her decision to make. It's his. If the wife chooses not to communicate with his mother, that is her decision and it should be respected. At the same time, the SON needs to grow up, decide what HE wants, and make a decision. I can't stand when people blame someone else for interferring. He needs to take responsibility and own up to his role. In my opinion, until he takes a stand, things will continue to be unresolved.

 

Irregardless, I thought Part 2 would focus on what all contributors in this turmoil would need to do to begin to figure out how to work together to have a relationship. Did I miss something or is the mother the ONLY person taking time out to work on this? Yes she has her issues but she should be applauded for following through with the counseling. The son and wife? They don't think they need counseling on how to work things out? The toughest relationships are family. Hopefully they will too seek professional help. If not, I'm guessing the mother will be the only one to learn how to deal with the situation.

 

And finally, the saddest part of this entire story, the mother missing out on a momentous time in her child's life, his wedding. And the next travesty will be when they exclude her from seeing her grandchildren. Hopefully these kids will realize that they're only hurting their children. But, oh yeah, they don't need to seek out a professional to talk to.

His wife can't estrange him. Let's stop giving people like this an excuse. People ultimately make their own decisions. The son has decided to allow his wife to "manage" this situation. if the son wants a relationship with his mother, there is nothing his wife can do to stop it. If her response is divorce, then hopefully he would question whether or not this was the right relationship to begin with? I must say I just don't understand when people blame others. Every person is responsible for themselves. Each person feeds themselves, gets dressed, decides who to say hi to, be friends with, overall, each person makes all sorts of decsions. And now all of a sudden someone decides to leave this most important decsion of whether or not to have a relationship with a family member to someone else?? No no no...take responsibility. Don't pass it to someone else.

I have to say that I have never in my life seen someone act so smug on your show then Michelle did on the past two episodes that I witnessed with her appearing.  I have to say that I don't really understand what all the mother in law has done.  Yes I see that she has called her some hurtful names and such.  But I see a hateful little girl that thinks she is always right.  She thought she was so cute setting up there on stage and that you weren't going to call her to the carpet for anything.  I have always been a faithfull and loyal watcher of you Dr. Phil even when you were on Oprah, but I have to say that I don't think you said near enough direct things to this little girl that I can clearly see is more than half of the problem.  She even commented on the second episode today that she was "cute" when you rolled a scene from the first show.  That just makes me sick.  It also made me sick as to how both of them feel the mother owes an apology, but they don't!  I really wish you would have told them both that they are so very wrong here.  I think that not only does the mother in law need to seek professional help, but so do they.

He has a nose ring?  And here I thought he had some important job, LOL.  I think  you can wear a nose ring at Burger King. LOL.

 

The more I watch the show, I have tivo, the more I can't stand Jay.  Jay, just print out all the prophecies of divorce and how broke and downhearted you are going to be for the day this evil wench you call a wife turns on  you.  Then you will realize that you ignored wisdom.

 

I strongly recommed that Jay reads Proverbs it is full of practical advice for life.  A good Bible is the Life Application Study Bible and you can find all kinds of those and even in paper back. In the back of it you can look up things like "relationships, marriage, parents, morals, motives, rebellion, and don't forget the mark of the beast, LOL.  Jay, you clearly are spiritually lost as well as your wife.  I am appalled you took wedding vows in your current spiritual condition.  But I guess at least  half of us take those vows very lightly these days, that's too bad for those decorative objects some people call children.  For couples like this kids are just trophies or objects b/c the parents are spiritually empty and have no wisdom just worldly aspirations.

 

It is very sad indeed.  Jay, you need to seek counseling from a Christian counselor and talk to a pastor and you need to minister to your wife and that, I hope is my final word on this.

 

I have a bad headache from thinking of Jay, Jane, and Michelle and Michelles mom.  Jane's sister may be a  pot stirrer too after watching the show again.  But she is right!!! Not that being right is the most important thing.

 

 

If I was Jane I would write a will leaving everything to someone else and I would start another life .The Daughter in law from hell is going to get worse .Jane will be hammered on by that disrespectful spoiled brat for ever .If grand kids are born they will be held over Janes head and Jane will lose all of herself trying to please that spoiled brat .And for Janes son to make sure people dont see his face showes that him and His dear spoiled wife will never make it till the death do us part .And Jane found Jays Cell phone number and called him and brat threatened jane .What ?Jay cant fight his own battles or is  sassy britches wanting to just keep this fight going with Jane .Michelle does not want Jays mom around ,Because she knows his mom will see Michelle for what she really is .By the way I have a daughter in law just like Michelle and after 10 years that brat from hell cant run me any more .Im not buying what my daughter in law has to sale any more .I live my life and she lives hers ,and my son just does as his wife wants ,he married her let him deal with her .But when she couldnt bully me around she then turned on her own mom .Now her mom is being treated just like I was ,but I was more hard hearted then her mom .So Jane or any member of that family reads this board take care of Jane .Michelle moms has it coming her way and let see how she is going to like it .

I have to laugh at how all the MIL's side with that vicious MIL. Ladies-stop projecting your own hurt onto Michelle. That woman called her a bitch on national TV and actually looked ready to attack her on the last show. Who could blame MIchelle?? I wouldn't speak to that hateful witch either.

I hope the couple has a happy marriage and life together!

I am a retired banker, have been married thirty years to my college sweetheart and am the mother of two daughters.  I have raised my daughters to be generous, gracious and compassionate, even on those occasions when the recipient was not particularly deserving.  My own mother-in-law never said a kind, loving, non-judgemental thing to me in my life, but I always dealt with her politely, if firmly, on my own without involving my husband.  I did this for him, not her, but now that she is gone I still prepare her favorite casserole on the holidays and remind the family that it is her recipe.  I am far from a perfect wife, mother or even daughter, but I have behaved this way because my own mother taught me to do so.  She would hang her head in shame, as would I, if I had raised such a petty, ill-mannered, spiteful girl as Michelle. 

 

Her new husband seems terribly immature, but I would remind Michelle this may not always be the case.  As he grows in maturity and when her novelty has worn off a bit, he may begin to wonder whether he made a good bargain when he traded his entire family for her. 

 

When he has a child of his own it will trigger memories of childhood - "My mother made my sandwiches this way...My Mother took me to the zoo...My Mother put a bandage on my cut and dried my tears when I fell off my bike..." - and as he answers his children's questions about his own childhood he will feel the loss of his mother accutely.  He will regret letting Michelle run amuck in his family relationships.  He will divorce her.  She will have no one to blame but herself, but that will not stop her from blaming him and treating him as they now treat his mother.  She will withhold his children from Jay as she currently withholds him from his own mother.  She will become Jane.  As Dr. Phil pointed out, what goes around comes around.

 

Obviously Michelle is terribly insecure.  She apparently had a child out of wedlock at far too early an age, given her present lack of maturity, and has probably had to rely on her own mother to raise him.  This might explain her burning need to prove she is the "adult" in charge now.  I just know this marriage is, as another poster succinctly put it, doomed.

 

Whenever two of their friends were having an emotional tug of war over one of my children I would tell them that whichever one made them chose was the one they should lose.  This boy will decide to lose Michelle in the end.  I only hope his family will find it in their hearts to display the forgiveness he lacks and take him back.

We, adults, know Michelle is acting like an immature child. I believe she would have done a better job if she would have sat there and stuck her tongue out at the mother and Dr. Phil - saying "I'm not listening, and you can't make me like my mother-in-law."  Now what I want to know is why didn't Dr. Phil jump "knee deep" in the son's behind.  The way Jay "allowed his wife" to treat his mother is wrong on some many different levels( and I don't believe you need "30 years" of experience to see this).  And yes I am saying "allowed" because any  real man who still carried his testicles with him and not in some woman's purse would have never tolerated this kind of treatment towards his mother.

I can't wait until something happens, OH! and it will in which the son will have to come crawling back to the mother.  I believe if Jane is truly changing, Michelle won't have any reason to spread her  "Golden venom" and soon after she'll be turning on the little boy who lost his balls. to the world on the Dr. Phil Show.

Hey  Dr. Phil love your show - but you dropped the "balls" on this one.

Perhaps no one else sees this because Dr. Phil's viewership is comprised chiefly of women very much like Jane?

Just a theory...

What she does not realize, is that in the future he is going to regret keeping his mother from the wedding. When things aren't  life and death cituations you compromise.

 

As for the name calling, it was not neccessary on either part. Her son could have elimiated alot of confussion if he would have stood ground for what is right or wrong, in the beginning.

 

As for the mother of the bride, What type of respect did you teach your daughter? I don't care how I felt about someone, I was raised to always respect my elders. I am sure it would not have set well if your new son-in-law would have referred to you in such a manner.

 

Apart of growing up and getting married, is being with people of differences. Where is the fun and excitment of being with someone just like yourself.

 

Life is too short to worry about petty endeavors. It's too late to say I'm sorry once they've crossed over.

 

 

Be Hopeful.....