Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Hello, I just want to respond to the show about the Bride Banned her mother in law from her son wedding..I think that is ot right out how things took place on D. Phil show the bride did all te talking and the groom did nothing or barley said anything..He let his bride do all the talking and DISRESPECT his only mother..

The Man need to talk to his new bride and let her know this i the only mother  i  have and need to get alone with her..Same thing goes for the mother get alone with the bride 

The son needed to take control before it ever got out of hand. This mother needed to be told by him that he loves her very much and will always be her life but this was his life to do with as he seen fit, right or wrong. She raised him to make choices and she may not agree with some of them but she needs to support them. Next ,if she couldn't say something nice about his future bride he"d perfer not to say anything at all. I did this with my mother many yrs ago which made for many happy yrs for all of us. Your mother needs your calls, visits,etc.. Don't refuse her that. Neither should talk of the past mistakes. Concentrate on today only. When you no longer have her you'll be glad you did. The wife can come into the picture later as she needs to let you and your mother reunite first with the ground rules. The wife needs to comply with the same rules. Make today the first day of your life together and others will follow.

Goodness Gracious.  Michelle has every right to be upset about what her mother in law has done to her.  Dr. Phil gives good advice, however, my only issue is with his take on graciousness.  While it is expected from Michelle, it was not expected from Jane.  It never was.  Ok, he did in a way call Jane out on her misgivings and misdeeds, however, if he was going to lecture someone on how gracious they are being - where was this speech and condesention for the person who has had a much longer time to be an adult and understand what graciousness actually is and what it means to live within it.  He allowed Jane to sit there and point her finger and say nasty things.  While I would not be suprised at someone of a younger age such as Michelle to say or do these types of things, which by the way, she had every right to defend herself against Jane's attacks.  I would certainly not expect to see Dr. Phil allow that type of behavior, and not even call Jane out on that type of behavior, seeing as she has had soo much more life experience than Michelle has.  Given the nature of graciousness and the definition thereof, I would assume that that ship should sail in both directions.  Maybe it did behind the scenes, but it was not evident during this show.  At the beginning of the show her tongue was as sharp as ever, then as soon as she spoke about her therapy, her tune changed.  She almost looked pitiful, at the very least sorrowful.  I cannot decide whether that was a true sentiment or not.  Clearly her therapist was not going to appear on the show and state that Jane is still as she behaved on the last show.  She would have to state that progress was being made, and hey, with that soulful look from Jane, I almost believed it.  That's the problem with television, we think we know people by what we see on snippits of TV, but Michelle and her husband will be the ones having to live that life.  They will be the ones who truly know if Jane has changed.  I hope for their sake, and the sake of their children, whenever they come to be - that Jane's transformation is the truth.  My comfort is that Michelle's mother seems to be pretty darn clear that there may be a man hiding behind the mask - so to speak, and she's withholding judgement and not seemingly going with the don't worry be happy attitude that Dr. Phil is spouting on this one.  Just my 2 cents.

Sometimes you have to stay away to protect yourself and your children.

Until you have been involved with a venomous relationship, the rhetoric and 'being a hero' in a relationship  is only so much talk.

I am a daughter in law who has never even met my inlaws, but it did not stop them from trying to control not only my husband, but myself and the wedding, plus the other relatives that they forbade from attending.

When we made it abundantly clear we would welcome them as guests at the wedding, but not with the 'my way or the highway' attitude they felt they were entitled to, they did not show up.  We still had police on alert,  in case they showed up to cause trouble- made a stressful day unbearable.......11 years later they and my husband's siblings still have nothing to do with us or our child, because we will not consent to their control.

So the lady that is pining for family, you are welcome to them- unfortunately you might find out it is not the idealistic dream you hope for.

I watched both shows and while the mother-in-law has clear anger issues, I foresee down the line that this blushing bride will sabotage her own marriage.  It may not be today or tomorrow but I do suspect that in the end, she will mess up the lives of any children she has and that her marriage will fail.

I agree with the mother-in-law that this lady is inflexible, a know it all, a troubled young woman, and I do believe that when Jane is not around to take the harangues that guess who will be next in line. 

Everytime that groom, in the future, looks at the wedding pictures, he will have a bad taste in his mouth because his mother was banned.

To be fair, I think either they both should have come or her mother should have been "dis-invited" as well.

The blushing bride is riding a high horse now but I don't see that it will last.  I think she will be in for a shock one of these days.  Guess what.  The world is not all about her.  Grow up.