Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Have you read what you have just written over again?  Please, I beg you to read it again and see how completely immature you are being.  All I can say is grow up and get over it.  You'll regret it one day...trust me!

Dr. Phil missed a crucial question in this situation.  What did Jane do to prepare herself for the day her only child would find love and get married?  I married an only child whose mother had not prepared herself to share him with another woman.  There was no woman good enough for her son, and nothing I did was right in her eyes.  When the in-laws visited on numerous weekends, my husband and his parents would drive to the big city for the day and do all their visiting.   When my mother-in-law died, I found many notes that she had written to herself - questioning the social status of my family, why we sent her a subscription for a particular magazine, why didn't I write letters to them because she had been the one who wrote to her mother-in-law, etc.

I can't believe Dr. Phil did not see through Michelle from the very beginning.  She never admitted to doing anything wrong, and she never showed any emotion.  Michelle seemed very cold-hearted and cruel.  I think the mother only wants the best for her son, and I don't think Michelle might be the right person for him.  Jay is whipped.

 I am a middle-aged woman, happily married, with one son, and I was delighted to see this episode.  I totally related to it.  I had two parents (dad deceased) who were divorced and hated each other.  They never failed to disrupt and spoil any family occasion, major or minor.  When I was getting ready to be married, 25 years ago, I saw the signs of another pending mortally embarassing occasion for me at my upcoming wedding--so I disinvited my father, the more disruptive personality, from my wedding.  I let my mom come (but just barely). I didn't tell anyone in my immediate family the location of the wedding until the last minute--so they wouldn't spill the beans to my dad.  The wedding was absolutely beautiful, the highlight of my husband's and my life, and the start of a fabulous marriage.  Nobody missed my dad.  We are about to celebrate our 25th anniversary. 

That event was a turning point for me.  I had to face the fact that my parents were too self-centered to think that anything that happened was about anyone except themselves.  I also had to accept the fact that they weren't going to change.  I made a decision at that time to minimize my contact and involvement with them--and I have hardly seen them at all since then.  This has enabled my husband and me to develop our life together and raise our son without their toxic effects.

Some people might think that is cruel or selfish or evil or whatever.  The fact is that it was an EXTREMELY difficult decision for me.  I got NO support from anyone around me FOR YEARS until I was finally diagnosed with depression about 10 years ago.  Treatment has been enormously helpful.  I have learned that my own mental health has to be my top priority.  I can't and won't play babysitter for or peacemaker between two grown adults--who need to take care of their own problems.  My priorities have to be taking care of my husband, my son (who is developmentally disabled) and myself--If that requires making some very difficult decisions, so be it.

I think the son in the show deserves tons of praise for standing up to his mother, and not letting her self-serving antics have center stage.  I know that that was NOT an easy decision for him. After seeing his Mom on the show, I know that he did what he absolutely HAD to do.  I think the other relatives who failed to support him by boycotting his wedding are pretty cowardly.

It's very difficult in this world to be the child of two "crazy" parents.  In our culture we believe this ridiculous myth that if a person is your mother or father, that automatically means they're wonderful.  Well, in real life it doesn't happen that way. 

So, to those who are critical of this young married couple, I say, walk in their shoes before you are so critical.

Jay is incognito, presumably because he has some kind of important job.  It's hard to imagine he has any kind of job that requires balls.  He is nothing but a wuss. 

Dr. Phil did not hold him accountable for anything.  He just sat there echoing what his (future) wife said.  Fortunately he now has what he deserves.  A sanctimonious bitch and a wuss.

I feel very sorry for his mother.  Thankfully she has her whole family around her to support her.

Don't know how much counselor Julie Nise can help Jane when she withholds things from her. While Jane sent the flowers at  Nise's suggestion, she did not tell her that Jay and Michelle wouldn't want them. Had Jane been more forthcoming, Nise would not have suggested doing something that would only create more friction.

While Jane did seem calmer during the follow-up, she acted really nutty on the original show. As for Uncle David and Cousin Jesse, they must have been nutty, too. Or, too afraid of Jane to attend the wedding. Jay seems to be the only man in the family with the gumption to stand up to Jane. That drunken shindig those three had? Maybe that's what Jay and Michelle feared the worst.That Jane would ruin their wedding by getting drunk and having an embarrassing histrionic melt-down.

Obviously Jane did nothing to prepare herself for the inevitable. The issues she has with Michelle I suspect she'd have with any woman Jay wanted to marry. 

Banned Doctor From Part Phil Two Wedding. Well Well Well here we go again  just like one part now I hav-

e to see Part Two. See you on Tuesday June 24th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------------------