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Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

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Created on : Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 06:04:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/27/07) Dr. Phil follows up with a family torn apart when the mother was banned from her only son’s wedding. The bride-to-be, Michelle, said she’d rather burn in hell than let her future mother-in-law, Jane, attend the ceremony, and her fiancé, Jay, stood behind her decision. This sent the entire family into a tailspin, with the best man resigning, the aunt disowning the groom and the wedding planner on alert to call 911 if Jane showed up. The big day has come and gone, and everyone returns to update Dr. Phil with the latest. Were they able to bury the hatchet before the wedding? Jane has gone through a rollercoaster of emotions, and Dr. Phil finds out what has her so mad at him, she even wrote him a scathing letter one week after her appearance. Has Jane done a 180-degree turn since? Has Michelle stopped her “campaign of hate mail” as Jane called it and opened up her arms to her husband’s mother? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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June 24, 2008, 1:50 pm PDT

You ONLY have 1 mother

I understand that his mother may have said some things that have been very wrong! I would be very upset as well. BUT...... The new Wife should really STOP being SOOOOOOO RUDE and keep her mouth shut. And Jay needs to stick up for himself and get a relationship back with his mother. You have 1 mother and when she is gone you will never be able to replace her. I never got along with my mom, we but head ALL the time. At times I HATED her. Well NOW she is GONE, she passed away last year and I wish I could hear her YELL at me again. Even though we had our fights and believe me they were ugly. She was still the women that GAVE birth to me. If his wife Love's Jay than she will STOP having so much problems with jays mom. She sounds like she has o be the center of attention and no one else. You have ONE wedding and for Jay to NOT be a MAN and stick up for him mother no MATTER what she may have done.! I am sorry that this mother has to feel this way. It's very sad! The WIFE needs to show some RESPECT and remember who the ADULT is!!! I bet she is NOT perfect!
 

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June 24, 2008, 1:51 pm PDT

06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

this whole mother in law issue is so sad!!   If I were that girls mother I'd be so embarssed!!

Did she not teach her daughter anything about family?

This is his mother what right DOES she have to make him turn on his mother like that  even if that daughter in law hates his mother, he should not cut her from his life.......and she better stop and realize with out her she would not have a husband, and who else would marry someone like her....that guy has his head in the wrong place, open your eyes and see what you married

 
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June 24, 2008, 1:51 pm PDT

06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Quote From: govikings69

Here, here The mother-in-law is the main problem ! Quit dmping on he bride ! She is just responding tothe M-I-L. 

There is a couple of things they need to remember. 

 

#1 Family is family.  His mother/her son will always be family.  I am not saying that the marriage will not last but either way the blood will still be there.  Give mom a chance.

 

#2 There are so many children, me included, that would love to have the opportunity to work things out with their mom.  I lost my mom when I was very little, and I don't have the chance to even talk with my mom.  Work it out!!!!

 

I also think that the daughter- in -law needs to let the other two work it out and stay out of things.  After they work it out, then she can get in there and work it out.

 
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June 24, 2008, 1:51 pm PDT

06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Coming from a wife, daughter, mother, and daughter-in-law of the Wicked Witch of the West:

 

1.  No wife with a genuine interest in her husband's well being encourages him to throw his mother out of his life.  One day the old bat will die and he will be left feeling guilty and will end up blaming the wife because it's easier than facing that he had some control over the situation.

 

2.  It is childish and immature to forbid your parent from attending your wedding.  You know it's hurtful to your parent and are only doing it to slap at them.  The only reason to forbid your parent from your wedding is if they threaten to ruin it for you.

 

3.  No future MIL/MIL should involve herself in her child's relationship; it's not her business.

 

4.  No son/daughter should be so disrespectful as to allow a spouse/in-law to curse, disown, etc. his or her parent.  Spouses come and spouses go, but a parent is forever.

 
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June 24, 2008, 1:52 pm PDT

The bride....

I keep watching this and I am annoyed by this young lady. She is a beautiful girl but her attitude makes her ugly. I think this guy is easily persuaded by his wife and he doesn't really have any thoughts of his own. Everything he keeps saying is what she says right before hand.

I mean come on she sent flowers a week before the wedding and how immature is it for the bride to cut them up. She has a lot of growing up to do. Do I think the m-i-l is innocent? No but she is trying to fix it and they are just swelling on the same things over and over. It is rediculous. I hope they can figure this out before there is grandkids in the picture. It is really sad it had to come to all of this.

 
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June 24, 2008, 1:53 pm PDT

Banned...

This Bride is way too manipulative.  Come on - apologize to me - Oh wait, you didn't apologize in the words that I wanted.  Grow up - both bride and groom - he needs to quit letting his bride shut out his mother and she needs to realize that his family is just as important as hers.  The only reason she likes her mom is that her mom does and says exactly what her daughter wants to hear.  The son is a fool to let anyone - wife or not - hurt his mother.  I am a wife and mother - and as my mother always told me  - marry a man who loves and cares for his mother because that is how he will treat you in the future.  This little girl sure comes off as a spoiled child that needs to grow up fast.

 

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June 24, 2008, 1:53 pm PDT

06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

Quote From: gaelic

I could not agree more with this reaction I feel like I wrote it (He needs to get a pair)
I also argree with you!!   sure would be nice if the "wife" would read all these boards and see what she has done to her husbands mother
 
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June 24, 2008, 1:55 pm PDT

Bridezilla?

AMAZING, UNBELIEVABLE AND EXTREMELY UGLY SAD STORY. YOU KNOW THE SAYING, "LOOKS ARE DECEIVNG AND THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS AS THEY SEEM". WELL, LET'S LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS IN THIS SAD STORY OR PICTURE.  YOU HAVE THE BRIDE OR "GOLDILOCKS", THE MOTHER-IN-LAW'S OWN LABEL ON THE SHOW AND THE MOTHER-IN-LAW, WHO REFERS TO HER SELF AS THE WICKED WITCH.  NOW IS THE BRIDE REALLY A GOLDILOCKS AND THE MOTHER-IN-LAW A WICKED WITCH??? I WILL NOT EVEN BEGIN TO SAY THAT I AM THE BEST JUDGE OF CHARACTERS, BUT PAST EXPERIENCES MADE ME BELIEVE THAT GOLDILOCKS IS REALLY NOT SWEET AND THE WICKED WITCH IS NOT REALLY WICKED.  LET'S SEE ABOUT THE BRIDE: THROUGHOUT THE SHOW, I NOTICED THAT THE BRIDE HAVE ONLY ONE EXPRESSION ON HER FACE, THE WIDE EYED INNOCENT LOOK.  I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TELL WHETHER SHE WAS ANGRY OR HAPPY, EXCEPT FOR THE CONTENT OF HER SENTENCES. AS FOR THE MOTHER-IN-LAW, SHE SEEMS MORE REAL WITH HER EMOTIONS AND IT SHOWS. YOU KNOW WHEN SHE IS ANGRY, SAD AND HAPPY. SO, THE QUESTION IS: WHO IS THE PSYCHO HERE?

 
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June 24, 2008, 1:55 pm PDT

Disrespectful

Dr. Phil,  I have watched both episodes of "Banned From The Wedding". I think it is disgraceful that the son has not stepped in to help rectify the situation. With the help of his NEW BRIDE, he blames his mother for everything. I am a mother of 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls. One son is in his late 30's and the other son is in his mid 30's. The older one was married, for a few years, and now he is divorced. I knew his then girlfriend. When they decided to get married, I thought he could do better,not saying I didnot like her, I did, but, he could of done better. I did not say anything, that was his decision to make. I said I love you both, and wished them well. Now they are divorced( a few years now), and he is happy now with his new girlfriend. My other son is married to a lovely girl. You can tell they love each other very much.  I don't think the young lady has ever liked his mother. I am not saying the Mother is perfect, but, she is his mother and he should respect her. I think the Bride  did not like the rapore he had with his mother, so she did some meddling of her own. He should of sat down and talked to both of them to try and work something out. It is not good to have that friction between yourmother and yourself. If the shoe was on the other foot, and the young man had a problem with her mother, she would tell him TOUGH______!!!! Either you get along with my mother or we are HISTORY. He has no backbone, to speak of. You only have ONE MOTHER, treat her with RESPECT, cause one day she will not be there.  I know, I lost mine 14 years ago now, of Cancer, but I always treated her with respect. Because I knew she was the only mother I had, and my friend.   From, jabreal
 
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June 24, 2008, 1:57 pm PDT

What was so terrible?

What junior fails to realize is that he married his mother.

Junior is the key person who could have defused the situation before it even started. By allowing his bride to speak for him, he had more of a hand in creating and perpetuating the conflict that any of the two women. He could have looked his bride in the eye and said firmly, "Like it or not, this is my MOTHER. If you truly love me, you will show respect for her even if you don't like her." Then he could have gone ALONE to his mother and said, "Like it or not, this is my wife (fiance). If you love me, you'll show respect for her even if you don't like her." And every single time one of them opened their mouths to speak badly about the other in public or private, he could have ended the conversation by saying something like: "I don't want to hear it!" and walked away.

I doubt he did anything SO proactive. In all fairness, he was trained this way. He lives with his wife. Parroting his wife is much easier than to argue with her because she's like the Energizer Bunny. She keeps going and going and going.

With marriage having a 50 percent success rate, this marriage was doomed from the day the bride banned mom from her only child's wedding. She's too self centered to realize THAT was the most monumentively unforgiving and irretrievably vicious act in the entire war and can NEVER be taken back. I give the marriage about 2 years. I sincerely hope they don't breed before then.

In the long run, Mom will be there to take Junior in and Bridezilla will find someone similar to alienate from his family. I'm betting Bridezilla will have a repeat of marriage number 1 while mom will have gained enough insight to not repeat mistakes with Junior's next wife.
 
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