Topic : 06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2

I have to agree with you too! I almost never watch Dr. Phil, (sorry, i just don't get off on tv commercials with a little bit of a show). Anyway it came on today and when I heard what it was about, i had to listen. I have one of those spoiled little d-i-laws, too and a son who loves quoting the verse that says a husband shall leave his mother and cleave to his wife. However my son like this unfortunate young "man", forgets the verses about honor, no HONOR thy mother and father,  or how about if at all possible live at peace. So, we all get on each others nerves sometimes, so what, you have to learn to let it go and move on, laugh about your differences and move on, but trust me, when a spoiled brat like this wants to make a mountain out of every molehill, there will never be peace. So, i was very disappointed in how Dr. Phil left the little brat go on and on and on about how wronged she was. Which is only reason I am on here. I will say Dr. Phil gained a small bit of respect with his wrap up note. But wasn't it interesting how at the very end of the show when the credits were rolling the self righteous d-i-l is still crying wah, wah, but you don't understand, wha wha! You almost want to pity the son/husband because i am sure he is never right and always doing something wrong. The poor mil apologized and still it was not good enough, that was at the beginning and after her very explanatory apology, all her son could say is we just want you to own up to what you did. HELLO, little little boy, she just did. Apologies is not reciting every incident word for word. After all, these incidents are just that, incidents, a symptom of the problem, but until that little girl in the dil realizes this is not a play world where she can cause and encourage drama, and she deals with why she feels so challenged by her mil, i am sorry to say, things will always be a roller coaster ride. I don't think the mil is totally innocent, but trust me, when you raise your own sons and daughters to respect elders, and value them and you spend your life pouring your best you have to offer to them and than comes along the little black spider and and not only does she walk all over you, instead of your son standing up for you and remaining respectful and demanding his partner does the same, he goes down to her level. You don't have to be best friends with your sons wife, but when you are at least trying to be tolerant and you still get steam rolled, well, it does not take long for the anger to spew. Of course, you just played into their hands as the mean mil, like this girls mother thought of her daughters mil. Wonder how she would feel, if roles were reversed and it was the son in law running the ship and taking offense at everything she said. God Bless you all, and I will especially be praying for the mil, for strenght and endurance. And, one thing i am still working at learning, is i can be okay with out my son and his family. Sure it hurts like heck, and there are grandchildren involved, but i neeed to be able to let go and should my son ever see the light and desire me to me in their lives more, and realize  I and my husband are "on their side", well, than i'll be there. But listen mil, you have to carry your head high, not prideful, just know who you are and like yourself. God Bless. 

I doubt the marriage will last anyway.  The son is disrespectful and I had the bride pegged as a trouble maker as soon as I saw her. 

You are obviously a nasty daughter in law.  You are robbing your children of a relationship with grandparents.  I hope for your sake you don't have sons because you will realize when they get married that you have taught them how to treat you. Their brides will ignore you and see how that will feel. Your husband must be spineless to let you do this to his side of the family.  Shame on you!

The behavior from Michelle is exactly what an abusive man would do to separate his wife from her family into order to start a life of abuse. Michelle comes off as an abusive woman who has her husband whipped. Jay has absolutely no balls to stand up to his wife and try to rebuild his relationship with his mother.

Michelle seems to enjoy the fact that she has Jay refuses to let the man have a realtionship with his mother. No one is telling Michelle that she needs to let Jane over to her home and be around her however Michelle has made it clear that she does not want Jane to even talk to Jay at all. THAT is a clear red flag of abuse.

If Michelle was a man and Jay was a woman then wouldn't people be screaming up and down that Jay was being abused and Michelle was an abuser. Scary how people don't even see that at all because Michelle is such a petite woman. Well petite women can be abusive too.

What is going to happen to this guy when he wakes up and realizes his new wife is truly a cold hearted human being and he has allowed himself to be lead around by the wrong head.     

I can only wait patiently for you to have a child (your one and only child) who will totally allow their partner to disrespect and ban you from their wedding.   I can only wait for that day to come for you.  There's no excuse for this kind of ugly hate and disrespect.  No excuse!!!!

  Dr Phil, just because someone has spoken to "julie" the counselor, and flants your book around, tallking about how they've "changed" is not proof positive that they have the right mind to go forward, or are truly contrite.  The mother-in-law clearly denied actual words you held on your little blue cards, she denies it, and to get you off her back, she plays the, "well if I said those things I'm sorry now" -how can you take Jane seriously when she is still to this day in denial about her words, and probably her actions as well. 

  I think Jane is unstable, I think the way she wrote you angry letters and overreacted (as she always does) was behavior that she is most often familiar with, but on this go around, she wanted to come off as the so called, "hero" of this relationship -and I ain't buying those cheap words.  "IF" she came on stage and admitted to her son and DIL that she did say those things (that dr Phil had quoted on cards), IF she admitted that words like, "I'm sorry" (that having been used to death and meant nothing to the rebuilding of the relationship), it still does not solve the problem.  Cheap "I'm sorry's" are Jane's strategey to seem like the one extending the olive branch -and it doesn't fly w/ me, I don't blame her son for being wary, I certainly wouldn't open my arms to this woman, until everyone involved gets not only 1 on one counseling, but group counseling as well, a session or 2 w/ Julie don't count. 

I saw a lot of similarities in both the bride and the MIL, didn't you? You know that old saying, "You marry someone like your mother..." I think that applies here. Maybe he was looking for that "quality" in a woman and he found Michelle.

That being said, I don't believe that Michelle is controlling him. I truly think he has deeper issues with his mom, maybe over her controlling nature when he was growing up. Maybe subconsciously he is using the new wife to deal with those bad feelings?

Who knows!

They all clearly have control issues and "right" fighting issues. It's a shame, because I really don't think they will ever resolve anything.

I also agree that the son has not done nearly enough to prevent or heal this problem. He needs to be the hero, in my opinion.

It will never be warm and cozy between his mother and his wife. Maybe he's truly okay with never having his mother in his life again. That would be tragic, but there's nothing anyone can do about it.

I'm not proud of this, but I really did want to see Dr. Phil shame that young girl into tears. She might be very sweet, but she made me want to slap her! LOL!!
I hope I never make anyone feel like that about me.

I think a lot of what Dr. Phil said went right over her head. If someone told me that I was being gracious or compassionate on television, I'd want to crawl under the nearest rock. She didn't bat an eye.

Everyone hates people like little Nellie Olson.

That is exactly how the DL comes across.  Nellie Olsen had a script but this girl is the real thing.

I'd run from the likes of her. She's possessed.

After following all episodes, I can tell that Mom has truly made progress and is willing to do whatever it takes for relationship repair. Her son acts like a puppet on a string, with his wife at the controls. His words were rehearsed and I suspect from having his insecure wife bitch, moan, and groan at him until he is sick, sick, sick. The wife is very immature. I don't see this marriage surviving and it won't be mom's fault. The wife likes things her way, and if she can't exercise total control, she is dangerous. She needs to behave like a lady and control her attitude and mouth. I have sons and I would be devastated if they cut me off in this way. Son, reach into your bank account which holds your love for your mother, and go spend a little on her...just the two of you. You will be amazed at how much love will overflow from her toward you and your wife. Or, would that put you in the dog house??? Step up to the plate...you will not regret it one ounce.