Topic : 06/04 Too Big, Too Young

      On TLC, The Learning Channel, which is part of Discovery, there was a program on Mondays called "Honey, we are killing the Kids."   On this program, a family began a program with a dietitian and stressing healthy foods. The first week consisted of the family tossing out all the stuff in the freezer and pantry.  One poor father had to toss out his beloved Fry Daddy, deep fat fryer.  One embarrassed  mom took cooking classes.  There was one mother who had to ask for help in the fruits and vegetables section in the grocery store.  (She didn't know a turnip from a cauliflower)

    My favorite family had a son that couldn't make his 7th grade football team.  Instead of staying at home after school, he had his own trainer and he started boxing.  The football coach was pleased because he said Anthony would benefit from year round conditioning--which boxing stresses.  The whole family had to exorcise, one couple had to take up ball room dancing.  The list of options goes on and on.  

     The third week often featured such things as stopping smoking and limiting television viewing. 

 By then, the sugar withdrawal had ended and there was a lot less whining.  Everyone in the family felt much better and had lost weight.  

Jaleisa's mother, Angie, is severely depressed!  It was so sad to watch her suffer through the end of the show.  She herself is obese and cried all the way through the end of the credits.  She doesn’t want to hurt her daughter, her only companion.  The threat of Child Protective Services taking Jaleisa away broke Angie’s heart.  Was that an attempt to motivate via tough love?  The availability of junk food to Jaleisa is not the problem.  Any child growing up in the home of a depressed single parent is going to walk away with some damage to themselves.  Most often the outcome is some emotional trauma, in this case the result is of a physical nature and able to be viewed.  To fix this problem Angie needs help.  Has she been abandoned and left by everyone in her life that she loved?  Is her depression what fuels her need to keep Jaleisa close to her?  Even her eldest daughter is now ridiculing her and has left her (even if it is with good intent).  How about some parenting classes and counseling for mom??  It’s so sad that such ill equipped people can choose to have children and pass such danger on to offspring, but that is the reality of the world.  When you follow a problem child home you find a problem parent.  To fix a problem you have to find the source.  With this kind of depression looming in the home- go ahead, take away all the food… likelihood is that you will still see a mother and a daughter who are sad and still hurting.

I am a registered nurse with many years of experience with families and their children. I have seen pediatric patients come into the hospital who are morbidly obese and whose mothers reject the balanced meal provided by our dietitian in favor of McDonald's Big Mac meals and other fast food chain meal selections that are unbelievably fattening. They state that the child "won't eat anything else", or that "they are hungry". (this sometimes happens even when the child is scheduled for tests and is ordered to be "NPO" or nothing by mouth.)  In these cases the parent is always overweight and usually non-compliant with the doctors orders.

I have to say this idea of children not eating anything else but certain foods is preposterous! My own daughter is 27 and her favorite food at 2 and 3 was broccoli! She was given no choice of foods to eat other than the ones I served at mealtime. I served one meat, 2 plain vegetables and a salad. We may have had dessert once a month and we may have had chips and dip once a month. We ate out maybe once per month. This was not due to my being a health freak. This was due to the fact that I had not gone to school yet and we were living below the poverty level at the time and I had to stretch a dollar as far as I could. My goal was to feed my family as nutritionally and as economically as possible.  In short, I could not afford fast food.

These parents seem to project their own need for food onto their their children and teach them at an early age that food really is a comfort and depriving them of anything is tantamount to abuse. The child learns early on that saying they are hungry brings the attention they want and need.

I have seen many obese persons over the years who will adamantly deny that they over eat and state that they hardly eat anything only to find out that they sneak down to the candy machine and load up on snacks and soda. They will order double portions on their meal tray unless restricted.

I believe that if people were honest with themselves and their doctors about what they really consume, we would not have such a question about why so many people gain weight. I believe the weight problem is really related to the fact that we as Americans cannot deny our children anything and foster a feeling of entitlement in our young. I do not want to imply that this is the case with all people but, as a person who now oversees 300 people, it seems to be a trend.

Some children do have medical issues that cause them to gain weight but these are usually discovered with a few simple tests.

Most children are overweight because of the environment and the food selections and activity levels that are made by their parents. If you do not move and you overeat and in particular, overeat the wrong foods -you will be fat -period.

Very frustrated nurse

She is absolutely right about breastfeeding - she knows her stuff. Breastfed babies will not overeat - however, generally formula fed babies don't overeat either. Its the baby, not the food, to some extent. As adults, and even older kids, we eat when we're bored and for tons of other reasons besides hunger. and when we taste something really good we eat a lot of it. Babies are not like this - they eat till they're full and they stop. Every time. They don't overfeed themselves and they won't eat more than they need.

As for how often that breastfed baby ate, there's a reason for that, too. Breastmilk is much easier digested. Only takes a baby about 2 hours or less to digest it and have an empty tummy again, whereas formula takes at least 4 hours! So breastfed babies eat smaller meals, more often. Sound familiar? Its what the experts recommend for diabetics and anyone who wants to lose weight: Eating frequent smaller meals.  Breastmilk is THE perfect food for babies - and it changes as babies change. It will always be exactly what they need. And, there is only so much present at each feeding- so just b/c a baby is sucking doesn't mean he's eating the whole time. My son nursed every half hour for his first 4 months. Much of the time I was just a binkie. He wouldn't accept substitutes.

But the original poster was correct: if every baby were breastfed, obesity rates would likely go down. Study after study has been down showing a link between breastmilk and healthier children in every way, mind and body. Formula has to be there for those instances when breastfeeding just isn't possible - but most people choose it these days b/c they think its more convenient (its totally not!) or b/c they have such a highly sexualized image of the breast they can't fathom using it for its intended first purpose: nursing a baby.

THANK YOU! As soon as they said PCOS I wanted to jump on it.  I got fatter and fatter for a few years until my mom thought to take me to an ob/gyn b/c of whacko periods and facial hair. She diagnosed PCOS on the spot, ordered initial tests to confirm, started me on birth control pills (which regulates cycles and helps clear up the facE) and sent me on my way. I was still big but at least on my way. After much research, my mom learned that women with PCOS need to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist - or at least an Endocrinologist, not just an ob/gyn.  The RE put me on metformin, sent me to a dermatologist and I dropped 70lbs in 2 years. 

I hope and pray someone points out the treatment this girl needs - b/c if she has PCOS like they say she does, exercise and diet will not be enough. Her system is insulin resistant and doens't know how to deal with insulin - it is a prediabetic state. And if not treated, she will become diabetic, absolutely, no ifs about it.  Metformin, avandia, avandamet, Byetta, are all drugs used to treat diabetes that are now also being used to treat PCOS. She will need it, and a low glycemic index diet to lose the weight. And then she shouild be able to just watch it melt off, once she gets her system right.

Child Abuse?!  

Does everyone believe that when an obese adult becomes a parent they become a child abuser?

I have been struggling with my weight my entire life.  Poor self esteem and all.  I figure, I will die trying!

Unfortunately I have two daughters who seem destined to follow in my footsteps.  It breaks my heart!

But, if I haven't been able to help myself.   How can I help them?   I teach them how to make good choices  but my example is poor.  

Most parents don't wait to perfect themselves prior to becoming parents.   Unfortunately,  when your problem is a food addiction,  everyone else can see it.  And judge you for it. 

Maybe people should offer encouragement, instead of crying--Child Abuse.