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Topic : 08/15 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Number of Replies: 166
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Created on : Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 06:09:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/30/07) It's Ask Dr. Phil and Robin Day! From a Dancing with the Stars hunk to a reformed wild child, they answer all kinds of questions. First up, Derren says he's allergic to his girlfriend, Ana. Every time they see each other, he breaks out in hives, gets itchy eyes and suffers migraines. Is breaking up their only solution? Next, 25 million people watched Abercrombie & Fitch model, Albert Reed, cha cha his way to the top on Dancing with the Stars. How is he coping with his newfound fame? Then, partying all night on the beach, girls, drinking ... This kind of spring break may be the biggest dream for a teenage boy, but it's a mother's worst fear. Penny says no way is her 17-year-old son going on a spring break trip. Her husband says what's the big deal? What do Dr. Phil and Robin think? And, Kristin says her wild days are long gone, but the four tattoos she embellished her body with are a constant reminder of her past. How can she accept what she calls her "tramp stamp" and move forward? Plus, go behind the scenes and learn how Dr. Phil is produced, and it caused a sensation on YouTube, now don't miss the mom anthem performed for the first time live on TV! Join the discussion.

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November 30, 2007, 6:16 pm CST

spring break

Dr. Phil and Robin,

 

I am sorry to be assertive but if you raised a daughter perhaps you would not be so hasty to allow your high schooler go on Spring Break at a popular wild party.  First of all, underage drinking IS illegal and, by giving permission to attend a huge party that does NOT have adults around is giving silent affirmation to partake in illegal activity.  Yes, we raised a responsible daughter but I was not worried about her as much as I was worried about the others that were not raised as responsibly. 

 

With all the date rapes, excess drinking, and possible abductions, we were not willing to agree to that type of Spring Break.  Instead we suggested our daughter invite a few friends to visit an aunt that lives at the beach.  They had a blast but there was an adult on the sidelines keeping up with them even when they returned around 3 in the morning with permission.  The main thing was their parents weren't there watching them and that was what they wanted.  Anything can happen anywhere but the market for wild behavior is concentrated in those popular areas and peer pressure is tremendous for high schoolers.  We were especially concerned after the issue in Aruba with "Amanda" who has never been found.

 

As a school teacher, I am aware of many peer pressures teens encounter. Even using the word "pimp" is considered inappropriate in the classroom because of the historical industry of female sex slavery. 

 

I would like to encourage you to produce a show that seriously RAISES the bar for teens and encourage them to NOT indulge in inappropriate behavior.  There are so many other ways to have real fun.

 

Thank you for your wonderful shows you do and bringing issues on the table that were once kept under the carpet.

 

 

 
November 30, 2007, 7:04 pm CST

I disagree with Dr Phil and Robin-spring break

Quote From: accurrie

Dr. Phil and Robin,

 

I am sorry to be assertive but if you raised a daughter perhaps you would not be so hasty to allow your high schooler go on Spring Break at a popular wild party.  First of all, underage drinking IS illegal and, by giving permission to attend a huge party that does NOT have adults around is giving silent affirmation to partake in illegal activity.  Yes, we raised a responsible daughter but I was not worried about her as much as I was worried about the others that were not raised as responsibly. 

 

With all the date rapes, excess drinking, and possible abductions, we were not willing to agree to that type of Spring Break.  Instead we suggested our daughter invite a few friends to visit an aunt that lives at the beach.  They had a blast but there was an adult on the sidelines keeping up with them even when they returned around 3 in the morning with permission.  The main thing was their parents weren't there watching them and that was what they wanted.  Anything can happen anywhere but the market for wild behavior is concentrated in those popular areas and peer pressure is tremendous for high schoolers.  We were especially concerned after the issue in Aruba with "Amanda" who has never been found.

 

As a school teacher, I am aware of many peer pressures teens encounter. Even using the word "pimp" is considered inappropriate in the classroom because of the historical industry of female sex slavery. 

 

I would like to encourage you to produce a show that seriously RAISES the bar for teens and encourage them to NOT indulge in inappropriate behavior.  There are so many other ways to have real fun.

 

Thank you for your wonderful shows you do and bringing issues on the table that were once kept under the carpet.

 

 

I was going to write my feelings but I love what accurrie and anomalytc wrote. I feel exactly the same way.. What Dr Phil and Robin arent realizing is that most parents dont raise their kids with the values and morals that they did.  They were great role models for their kids. I would also like to see a show that encourages kids to stay away from inappropiate behavior. As a teenager and college student I never wanted to party at spring break in the way the boy on the show wanted. Drinking, exposing myself and being around others that were doing it were not my idea of fun. If they arent planning on drinking they wouldnt go.

And now with the internet girls have to really be careful. If you get drunk and stupid and expose yourself you better be happy with that all over the internet.  I really felt Dr Phil and Robin could have done better here. I know you have done great shows in the past about teens but I did not agree with your answers here.

 
November 30, 2007, 7:08 pm CST

I agree with you also!!!

Quote From: frillyfroo

I agree with you!
 
November 30, 2007, 7:26 pm CST

Tattoo

Quote From: frillyfroo

Great idea.
I agree that the woman should not be ashamed of her tattoos.  I would be more concerned and ashamed for the "christian" woman who judged her.  I got my first and only tattoo when I turned 47 years old - it is a butterfly and it is on my lower back.  It is a symbol of freedom and finally finding my self confidence at the age of 47.  I have been married to the same man for 20 years, have never had an affair (and have never even thought about it, even in difficult times)  have never used drugs, always was responsible, and am in the process of raising two really great kids.  I teach special education and am a fairly conservative person with a strong sense of who I am and strong religious faith.  I also believe I have strong and healthy moral values.  I am not driven by money, nor do I practice my religion out of a fear of God, but more out of what I believe is right and wrong.  I do, however, take offense at anyone who would judge me or anyone else because of a tattoo or, for that matter, a haircut (as Dr. Phil and Robin do not judge their son because of his different hairstyles - we are who we are, not how we look).  I believe this segment of the show should have focused more on the lack of intelligence and true christianity on the part of the individual judging another than on the removal of a tattoo.  We are who we are and without our past "regrets" and "mistakes" we would not be who we are. 
 
November 30, 2007, 7:36 pm CST

Kristen

Well, I just put my five-year-old to bed and now my dog is howling so I'm gonna make this fast because I just HAD to say something!!!!

 

I really hope that that Christian woman (book editor?) wasn't really looking down on Kristen because she had a few tattoos, because if she really was (looking down on her because of her appearance), then, that is exactly the opposite of what Christ told us to do!

 

Holiness is not in our hair length or whether or not we wear white or don't wear makeup.  In fact, I think it's absurd that some people reduce holiness to those surface things which have nothing to do with the spirit inside.  Jesus spoke out against the Pharisees precisely for being so religious and judging others by their manmade rules ~ he called them 'whitewashed tombs'!

 

And really, that's a little beside the point, because the point I really wanted to make is that ALL Christians have sinned and ALL of them have had their sins forgiven by God ~ our past sins, however bad, have been thrown as far as the east is from the west.  If any Christian looks down on Kristen or anyone else for any reason, then that one is sinning all over again, and that sin is on them and them alone. THEY are in the wrong, not Kristen, so it is up to her not to buy into their error.  What's most important is what Jesus says about her, not what THEY say!

 

Kristen has a valuable gift ~ her writing will change the lives of other young women who may also feel kinda lost at times.  She can best show them restoration by demonstrating it and not feeling bad about who she is.  I've done the same thing ~ the feeling bad part, not the judging part.  If I'd done the judging part I'd feel even more bad, I guess. ;) 

 

 
November 30, 2007, 7:37 pm CST

Reply to a former Christian

Quote From: shadycat1

 I remember a Minister I knew, great guy didn't judge, didn't care whether you were a believer or NOT, as long as you respected him and his beliefs, all went well, but that man could debate.
He had hair to his mid back he wore in a pony tail, and both arms were sleeved out with tattoos, some religious, others not, but he had a story for each one, and each one had meaning for him.  Oh and I forgot to mention, he also had BOTH ears pierced wore jeans under his cloak, and he DANCED with his wife.
You know what ? He had the highest number of kids join the youth group, and though I didn't share his beliefs, he was APPROACHABLE, he didn't have the arrogance I have seen in many clergypeople (not all but a GOOD MANY ), that he was "IN" with God, and knew what was best for the REST of us, he didn't encourage "Witnessing" to people, he encouraged "Leading by EXAMPLE " of a Christian life.  Didn't take long for him to be transferred, seemed the little Burg couldn't "GET" his RADICAL TEACHINGS, when he left, so did the parishoners.
I share this only to say, you should NEVER judge people on their outside or their past, if you want people to respect you, you have to respect them, not show contempt for them, preachers would do much better if they stopped PREACHING and maybe TALK to people instead of AT people ( if there is a God, why is he so cliquishe that only a few of you are in the "Group", if he indeed loves and speaks to us all, I am a former Christian ) and please don't start with the open your heart, I did and guess what, NOTHING, I prayed for forgiveness and for others, NOTHING.  I didn't find peace until I let go of all that.  If it works for you WONDERFUL, I truly mean that.
I am still a Christian, but I have to agree with you.  No one should be judged by their looks or their past.  Our past is what makes us who we are now, and without those experiences and mistakes, we may not have learned to be truly good individuals.  I have a strong faith and practice my christianity, but I do not wear it on my sleeve, nor do I judge others. This "christian woman" who judged another because of her tattoo is truly not a christian.  I have two children, and my oldest was a "mistake" - how can a child be a mistake - she has grown into a wonderful, caring,and non-judgmental individual.  I am just getting tired of the "better than thou" attitude of so many of these so-called "christians."
 
November 30, 2007, 7:54 pm CST

My tattoo removal knowledge.

Quote From: anitaww

Dr. Phil ??...that girl on your show today with her tattoos....("The Born again with her "Tramp Stamps")

 

 

Please !!!....... I had a tattoo taken off in "1984". She was "full of it",when she responded with that "I don't know if that can be done....Well, she got her 15 minutes of fame, and someone to pay the expense of her tattoo(s) removal.

 

I'm sure there are women out there with "VISIBLE" tattoos, that are bettering themselves, and "really" can't afford the cost !!!!

 

Actually, I know that most tattoos can be removed, but it was my understanding from my past research that it can be very difficult to removed tattoos that are home done due to the ink as well as the black one on my back, because it has been there for so long and is so dark, that there would be too many laser treatments needed, resulting in significant scaring, so most places turn those down since the results are not good.

 

Actually, the tattoos were not the main reason I wrote in to the show, but I am very grateful for what was done for me by Dr. Phil. He is so generous.

 
November 30, 2007, 8:06 pm CST

My Tattoos

Quote From: monrosie

To the young lady who regrets her tattoos:  These tattoos can become an opportunity to demonstrate how God has shown his forgiveness, grace, and redemption in your life.  When you see that someone is noticing your tattoos, why not say, "I see that you are noticing my tattoos.  God has been very gracious to me, and though I regret the life I lived in my teens, I am so grateful to Him for the way He has changed my life.  My tattoos are a reminder of how wonderful his love is!"  Remember:  She who is forgiven much, loves much!  (Luke 7). 

Thank you for your words, and in many ways I agree with you. As I said in a previous post, my main reason for originally writing to the Dr. Phil show was not really all about my tattoos, but I am so thankful for his help. (I actually had my first laser treatment today, and although it is painful I am looking forward to being rid of them!) I am at a place now where I am ready to share with the people who know me now who I was then, I am ok with that. However, my three year old boys sometimes point to them and ask if it is a boo-boo. I really dont want them to see Mommy's trashy tattoos. It is important to me that they see me not as perfect, Lord knows that is a lie, but as a role model. I would never judge anyone else but I feel better about them being gone. I will discuss my past with my sons when they are older and show them how God can do ANYTHING!

 

I do agree that our pasts, no matter how ugly, are useful to reach those who need God's love, and tattoos or not, I want to make a difference in the lives of others. Writing is how I feel called to do that now.

 
November 30, 2007, 8:32 pm CST

OK, just one more thing!

Quote From: justnancy

Well, I just put my five-year-old to bed and now my dog is howling so I'm gonna make this fast because I just HAD to say something!!!!

 

I really hope that that Christian woman (book editor?) wasn't really looking down on Kristen because she had a few tattoos, because if she really was (looking down on her because of her appearance), then, that is exactly the opposite of what Christ told us to do!

 

Holiness is not in our hair length or whether or not we wear white or don't wear makeup.  In fact, I think it's absurd that some people reduce holiness to those surface things which have nothing to do with the spirit inside.  Jesus spoke out against the Pharisees precisely for being so religious and judging others by their manmade rules he called them 'whitewashed tombs'!

 

And really, that's a little beside the point, because the point I really wanted to make is that ALL Christians have sinned and ALL of them have had their sins forgiven by God our past sins, however bad, have been thrown as far as the east is from the west.  If any Christian looks down on Kristen or anyone else for any reason, then that one is sinning all over again, and that sin is on them and them alone. THEY are in the wrong, not Kristen, so it is up to her not to buy into their error.  What's most important is what Jesus says about her, not what THEY say!

 

Kristen has a valuable gift her writing will change the lives of other young women who may also feel kinda lost at times.  She can best show them restoration by demonstrating it and not feeling bad about who she is.  I've done the same thing the feeling bad part, not the judging part.  If I'd done the judging part I'd feel even more bad, I guess. ;) 

 

I had to reply to this sweet message. I agree that holiness is nothing external, but for myself I hate the everyday reminders of where I have been, it will be a blessing to have them gone. Thank you for your encouragement about my writing, It is my true passion and I love writing for people who probably would never enter a church but would be interested in a mystery or suspense novel. I am just praying that God will use it no matter how. Thanks again for your kind words.
 
November 30, 2007, 8:47 pm CST

Ref to the Staff member with Inoperable Tumor

Was wondering whether she has checked out Radio-surgery at UCLA which can do non-invasive surgery to remove brain tumors that are otherwise inoperable. I'm sure that she has gone to the best doctors but when my late wife had Pancreatic Cancer she had this surgery that pinpoints the tumor w/o effecting other body parts around it. What I found was that most doctors are no aware of this important surgery even though most of the top hospitals have units doing this. Although her oncologist (who was previously in-charge of a research unit at Sloan-Kettering) wasn't aware of this 10yrs ago, he thanked me after contacting the Dr in-charge of the program at University Hospital,Staten Island,NY where she had the surgery which did kill the tumor. I mentioned UCLA since they also have this program and not alot of doctors are aware of treatments that they can't do themselves and have to send the patient somewhere else. Either way, I wish her the best. She seems like a wonderful person.  Dennis Boyle 
 
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