Topic : 12/03 Shocking Teen Trends

I have a teenage daughter. Straight A student in honor classes. She is an athelete 20 hours a week, after school and on weekends.  Doesn't do drugs or drink alcohol. Has lots of friends. Loves her family. She is a good girl.....and she's addicted to the internet and worse.

I knew she was writing stories on a site for fan fiction. Made up stories about famous characters like the ones in Harry Potter or High School Musical. You write a chapter and post it and folks can read your story and review it. She wants to be a writer when she grows up and so I let her do it. She is so well balanced I didn't police her much. I know how to check things out on the internet and on my computer which is exclusively the one she would use for the internet.

Last year I bought her a laptop for school work and to write on. What I didn't know is that from her berdroom she can pick up a neighbors internet access for free. She started out innocently enough but there are predators everywhere and eventually one of her reviewers sent her an email and befriended her. This older woman liked my daughters writing and really started to encourage her. She sent my daughter her own stories and they were something called SLASH. Apparently SLASH is written male pornography (SMUT is the female counter part) written using famous characters from tv shows, movies, books- you name it. I say pornography because it was not just homosexuality-it was degrading and demeaning. This woman sent my daughter stories with incest, rape, torture, you name it. Then she encouraged my daughter to try and write some herself. She even "helped" her to write it.  My daughter knew it was wrong and it started to make her sick. She started to act strange and was constantly in her room. This woman also introduced my daughter to "role playing (rp)" . Each person pretends to be a character and they role play it out. Sometimes innocently and sometimes not. Mostly not. There are tons of websites for this.

I finally got the hint and found her on the internet in the privacy of her own room.

I have taken her computer away. I have erased all the bad stories she had a hand in writing off the internet. I changed all the passwords to all her accounts, email, etc. I sit in the room with her while she does her homework.

She cries. She tells me she doesn't want to read or write bad stuff anymore but she feels so drawn to it. She feels like some of the other fanfiction writers are her friends and she misses them. She wants to keep posting stories, love stories. She likes the feed back from other folks. I am torn because I want her to write. I want her to be happy. But internet addiction is real. The danger is real as well.

I asked her why she would even try to write stuff like that. She told me she is frustrated (sexually) and stressed out (school). She says the sex stuff is everywhere. Everywhere she looks. She felt that writing about it would not be a big deal. It quickly got out of hand. The more she read, the more she would write.

I've cried-more than I can tell you. I haven't told anyone else about this especially her DAD. She is his little girl and it would change things forever for them both. I am going to try and go this alone.

When I saw this show I had hoped Dr Phil could give even more advice. I need MORE ADVICE DR PHIL! This is a huge problem with teens. She wanted a MYSPACE in the worst way and I gave in. Soon she got bored with that. Then it was Facebook. I don't think it's as simple as taking away the computer or tracking them. All their friends have computers. You can go to your local library and visit any site you want. There are no restrictions. You can open a new Yahoo email acct from any computer in about 2 minutes. The kids are brilliant these days and can do an end run around a parent in a heartbeat.

My daughter is a good girl who was manipulated by a bad person on the internet but my daughter has her own free will. She ultimately has to learn to make decisions for herself.  I know I need to be there to guide her and not to suffocate her. The Mother Tiger in me wants to make everything all better. That is not reality. We have to deal with each day as it comes.

Keep a mindful eye. If it doesn't look right, or feel right, it probably isn't. There are predators and bad people everywhere and no one is who they say they are on the internet...except for maybe Dr Phil.

Please Dr Phil, do more stories like this one. It is so important. I have given my daughter all the tools she needed to grow up being a normal, healthy, moral person but I couldn't keep the vultures off her.

I pray it's not too late.

Your story is the typical horror story of children on line.  For a long time we did not have the internet.  We felt that it was letting a wolf into our home.  People would ask for our e-mail address and when we said that we weren't online they looked at us as if we still used an outhouse.  Finally we got the internet.  I needed it for online courses I was taking.  I found my teenage sons had been looking at porn and I disconnected the internet for 6 months.  I used the library's computer for my needs.

I wonder why good people who others turn to for advice never suggest not getting the internet in your home if you have children?  I have never heard that advice from any one in the media.  The blame is placed on the parents when trouble strikes but why not advise parents to avoid the trouble before it happens?

Obviously I have the internet as I am on this site.  My kids use it for school projects and have myspace pages.  I try to keep an eye on them, have put the computer in a main area and have parental controls.  I still question whether my decision was correct.