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Topic : 12/03 Shocking Teen Trends

Number of Replies: 204
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Created on : Friday, November 30, 2007, 01:39:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It’s no surprise that teens engage in reckless activities, but kids today are doing much more than sneaking a drink of alcohol. The newest trends can be deadly for your kids -- from street racing to car surfing. Dominic, 18, is obsessed with illegal street racing, and his friend, Justin, boasts that he’s driven 147 mph on the highway! Dominic’s mother, Susan, fears for his safety, but doesn’t know how to control him. Can Dr. Phil get the boys to put on the brakes? Then, 17-year-old Trais was street racing when he accidentally killed a wheelchair-bound mother of two in front of her children. Don’t miss his strong message for Dominic and Justin. And, meet a mom who worries that her 13-year-old daughter spends more time in a virtual online world than in the real one. Can Dr. Phil help the girl return to reality? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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December 2, 2007, 12:34 pm CST

shocking teen trends

Todays teens behavior is the result of changes in the structure of the family that dates back to the pioneer era.  In early times the father built the home and farmed for food.  The mother took care of the home and raised the chidren.  The industrial age changed the family structure when the father went away took a factory or office job leaving the mother  insecure and detached.  Females then started the feminist movement demanding to be equal to men.   They drove cars, got the rights to vote, took up smoking, and went to work out side the home leaving the children in the care of  others. The equality women demanded is a delicate topic that needs to balance the roles of women as a mother and a wife  and a males as a husband and a father.  For females to continue to deslove men's masculanity by demanding equaility only puts a downward trend on the structure of the family

 
December 2, 2007, 2:17 pm CST

12/03 Shocking Teen Trends

 If the car is in the parent's name, then it belongs to the parent, therefore the PARENT has the RIGHT and the RESPONSIBILITY to take the keys and sell the car if necessary, when the kid is able to buy their own car, working part time at a fast food joint just isn't going to do it, then whatever but they pay the shot, insurance, maitenance etc.
Teens BELIVE they are invincible, things happen to other people, not to them.  Even if one of their own is killed or severly injured, they go back at it the following weekend.  I advocate raising the driving age to 18, yes their brains are still growing and such, however they do have a better idea of what "risk asessment "is than they do at 16.
Why does a kid NEED a car as soon as the get their liscense anyway ? It's almost become a "Rite of Passage".
I'm a nasty parent anyway, the rules are simple,
1)you get a ticket or fine, you pay it not me and you DO NOT see the car keys UNTIL the fine is paid.
2)get my car impounded, you pay the fees (if I pay them you pay me back or NO CAR) and if its an impaired charge, you might want the police to keep you.
3)make sure there is the SAME amount of fuel that I left for you, that means you use a quarter of a tank, top it up.
4)destroy my tires, you buy new ones
5)destroy my car, that depends on many factors some beyond their control, but running a stop sign and getting hit, you are helping to pay for the repairs.
See its pretty humiliating when Mommy has to drive you everywhere because of your own stupidity, as it has been pointed out, driving is NOT A RIGHT, and these punks have NO RIGHT to put others in danger for their own thrills.
My area had decided that they couldn't stop it, so what they did was offer training for young drivers on a drag strip, safety was taken into account.  Some of these young men started racing stock cars locally, it got some of them off the streets, not all, but it wasn't so overwhelming for the police to get at the real offenders.
Parents do have to get real about their kids, stop saying "My little boy/girl wouldn't do that " because those are the kids who do, and so what if they cry and whine and hate you for taking the car keys, at least they'll be alive, and no one else's family will have to suffer for YOUR child's momentary lapse of reasoning.
 
December 2, 2007, 2:57 pm CST

reply to I empathize

Quote From: grgthatsme

As a teen I did race a couple times - one on one - not the "street racing" thing and won every time.

Later when not much older drove my car from Detroit to Kalamazoo at 140mph to just see if I can do it.

After My first marriage I made a visitation to my daughter in Rapid City SD (from Farmington hills MI) by driving 120mph the entire distance only making "pit stops" for gas.  It was invigorating and comfortable.

It certainly kept me awake and alert!  Now, older, I think I would not do it again.

You sound like you are bragging about always "winning". Would you feel like you had "won" if something went wrong with your vehicle, you lost control because of it, and killed a little four-year-old girl, taken her right to live out her life, destroyed her family's life, (her parents play it over and over in their minds every day of their lives), just because you wanted to do 120 mph and "win".

That happened to my nephew when he was 17. He was kept out of jail because of expensive lawyers, but something must have been playing out in his mind also, because he has lived the rest of his life as an unhappy drug abuser and alcoholic. He cut himself out of his family's life and spends his time either lying in gutters, drunk, or occasionally working just enough to get money to drink or buy drugs. In short, he has no life: He had an excuse, something went wrong with a wheel on his car and he lost control, But before he lost control on that fateful day, he had "won" many "one on one" races. He always felt invigorated and comfortable driving at extremely high speeds before that fateful day. 

 

Now he drives no longer, he lost his license from multiple dui's. There is no longer money for  a car even if he could drive. He never went to jail, but he now lives in his own self-imposed hell.

 

Those movies the state police have of tragic, maimed, bloody, human beings that are the aftermath of high-speed crashes should be shown as a requisite in every drivers education class, in every school in this country, not just once, but often, throughout a young person's high-school years.

 

 
December 2, 2007, 3:40 pm CST

Shocking Teen Trends Speeding

I am sorry to say but back in the "fifties/50's" my cousin's father owned a car lot here in our small town and he had a 1949 or 50 Ford Convertible. A bunch of us all piled in his car and we have a country (but paved) road that is one hill after another and it is like riding a roller coaster for at least a couple of miles. And I don't know how fast his old car would go per miles but with the top down he took off like a bat out of heck and going up hill and then down another and doing this  at a fast speed over and over, I and another person riding in the back seat of the car just about fly out of the car!!!!!!  I will never forget that or how close me and my friend came to being badly injured or killed!!!!!  So what these teens are doing has to be stopped! This is not legal, dangerous, and will kill or injure someone!!!!!
 
December 2, 2007, 4:23 pm CST

12/03 Shocking Teen Trends

I know I did some stupid stuff as a teenager, but let me tell you, if I had even thought about doing something this stupid, I still wouldn't be driving a car!! My parents bought me a used car when I was in 11th grade, and they had very strict rules about what I was allowed to do with this car. I had to come straight home from school, unless I called them first and asked permission to go somewhere else. No cell phones back then, can u believe I survived?!? I had to use the good ole fashioned pay phone at school to call them. No driving my friends around, unless I had my parents permission. I was responsible for the gas, and ONE time I got a speeding ticket and I had to pay the fines myself. That was all it took for me to slow my behind down!!! That was about 14 years ago, and I haven't speeded since!! I was too afraid of my parents taking my car away, and losing that freedom. Even when I was working full time, and bought a brand new car of my own, I was still cautious. I had to make the payments, pay for the insurance, maintenance and repairs.

 

I'm a married, mother of 2 little boys, and I get chills when I think that just a few years down the road, my kids will be getting their drivers licenses. My husband drove like a maniac when he was a teenager and I just pray that we don't "reap what we sow" !!! I know teenage boys have all that testosterone raging and the logical place for them to let it out is behind the wheel of a car. If I have my way, my kids won't get their licenses until I'm dead and gone!!!

 
December 3, 2007, 3:11 am CST

You can call me meanspirited all you want...

...but when I hear about one of these kids going into a wall in my neck of the woods, I'm relieved.

 

Relieved that they bagged it before they could kill some innocent people.

 

My mom said that I'm mean spirited, too. She said, think of the grieving mother.

 

If the mom didn't think enough of the kid to control him/her, and if the kid didn't think enough of mom not to do theses  things, why should I be thinking of them.

 

My thought is only for the potential victims of this kind of stupidity!

 
December 3, 2007, 4:19 am CST

How do I begin...

Quote From: themotivator

Todays teens behavior is the result of changes in the structure of the family that dates back to the pioneer era.  In early times the father built the home and farmed for food.  The mother took care of the home and raised the chidren.  The industrial age changed the family structure when the father went away took a factory or office job leaving the mother  insecure and detached.  Females then started the feminist movement demanding to be equal to men.   They drove cars, got the rights to vote, took up smoking, and went to work out side the home leaving the children in the care of  others. The equality women demanded is a delicate topic that needs to balance the roles of women as a mother and a wife  and a males as a husband and a father.  For females to continue to deslove men's masculanity by demanding equaility only puts a downward trend on the structure of the family

First of all, my initial response to reading this post may be considered a little odd. I was a SAHM to 2 kids. Now, I still stay at home as a housewife. So, in effect, I haven't "desolved my husband's masculanity". But I do drive a car, vote, and for some strange reason, started smoking at the tender age of 46. Women deserve the rights we have. I'm not so sure that things would be a whole lot different if we were still in the stone age. Adolescence is adolescense no matter whether the mother stays at home or smokes or drives or votes.

 

My husband came from a very stable family, stay at home mom, the works. As a teen he was fairly wild. Drove too fast, drank a beer or 2. Fortunately, he made it through without killing himself or anyone else. When he was a teen, he was just sneaky and his parents didn't know about his escapades.

 

Myself, I came from a family without a land phone, indoor plumbing, we were fortunate to have ONE car to our name. I never expected that my father was going to buy me a car. I went to work and bought one. It's not like it was ever discussed that's just the way it was. My mother was a SAHM also, (She never drove a car, voted, smoked, or worked outside the home.)

 

My brothers did some crazy things as teen-agers. They have out-grown that, some took a lot longer than others.

 

We have raised 2 kids, they made it through fairly unscathed.

 

 

I don't know  the answer to this problem. But I really don't think the reason for it is that we women have gained our deserved rights and place in society. I can think of plenty of situations where the mother stayed at home and still had out-of-control-teens.  And situations where the mother worked outside the home and the kids were well behaved and stayed out of trouble.

 

Each situation is different. Parents just have to do the best they can and hope for a good outcome.

 
December 3, 2007, 4:46 am CST

Shocking Teens

Cyber obsessed, car racing, alcohol....teens will do just about anything they can get away with. My main question is WHO'S DRIVING THE DAMN BUS?!!! I'm astounded by many parents who gnaw at their fingernails exclaiming, "What am I to do? I just don't know how to get Suzie out of those nasty, unsafe chatrooms!" "Oh, I'm so worried about Bobby, he simply insists on racing that new car of his, or driving way too fast! What can I do?" OMG! Pull the plug on the computer! Take his damn keys!!! Pull the ignition wires out! Be a parent! Grow some b****. Sorry, that was a tad graphic. But my goodness, it's as though parents have decided that raising their children has turned into a decision by committee venture. When it comes to safety, personal safety of the child and/or others; parenting is NOT to be done by a committee vote. Parents needs to step up and make as well as ENFORCE limits. No is NO! Until a child demonstrates they are capable and WILLING to make responsible decisions its YOUR job to make those decisions. If my son drove too fast, or raced his car...raced his car JUST ONCE...he would no longer have access to that car. Period! There would be some stringent, fully laid out plan to get back into my good graces and earn that privilege back of course, but he'd have to do a great deal to prove to me that he'd learned his lesson well. I'd have no qualms about taking him to a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) unit in a hospital and literally show him the very real outcomes of such behavior.

To the Mom with the 13 yr. old cyber addicted teen...talk to your daughter and set firm limits, put the computer in a fully visible area of the home - NOT HER BEDROOM - learn how to set Parental Controls on her computer, or get help doing that. If she doesn't respect and obey computer use rules...TAKE THE COMPUTER AWAY!

I've worked in the elementary school system for 13 years as a paraeducator and am repeated astonished at how powerless many parents seem to think they are. Do they truly feel powerless, or are they just not willing to be as attentive to the intricacies of their children's daily lives as they should be? I may sound hard, and unsympathetic, and I fully acknowlege there are exceptional cases; but I've raised my two children as a single parent, since before my youngest was even born. I moved to Vermont, 200 miles away from any family, to raise them in an environment I felt was better suited to the task. I've never made more than $22,000 a year, and that includes what child support I received. Times were tough, but my children were my main job for 20 years. They had clothes, food and a decent roof over their heads. Mainly they had a Mom who loved them to the ends of the world and paid attention. I'm nothing special, I have no inherent tallents, I could have done a whole slew of things better. But today my son is a Junior and my daughter a Sophmore in college. Both work, my son has a car. They are happy, normal young adults with their priorities relatively (tongue in cheek) intact. At 20 and 19 years old they are beyond the age where I get to control their worlds, however I still have a great deal of influence by way of sought advice and some not so sought. But they listen to what I have to say, and so far, they're doing well.

To the Mom of the 18 year old racing cars...does he live at home? Choices come with real world consequences, many of which he doesn't truly register or comprehend. But before his behavorial choices become tragically real world to him, I'd consider telling him that his financial support is about to disappear if his behavior doesn't change. If I can't make him see the error of his ways, I wouldn't continue to support him in any way. Eighteen? he should be in college or working full time to support himself, by himself if he chooses such ridiculous past times. What are parents to do? PARENT YOUR CHILDREN!!! Thanks for letting me vent!

 
December 3, 2007, 5:08 am CST

Please stop this !

This fall we lost 2 kids in our community -a 15yr old  sophomore girl and a 17yr old senior boy. The boy was racing his car,the girl was a passenger,it went out of control and hit a pickup going the other way, The man and his little girl were hurt but not killed. They had to use dental records to identify the kids officially because they were burned so badly. The police think the car was going 100 mph when it went out of control. These were good kids. They were both churchgoing, hardworking kids but they did something really stupid. Now their families are faced with dealing with the holidays without them.
 
December 3, 2007, 7:07 am CST

Take The Wheels,Take The LIcense!!!!!

MY  OPINION IS :  IF  THE CANT  DRIVE AN ACT  RESPONSIBLE THEN  TAKE  THE WHEELS 

AWAY  FROM THEM AND  TAKE THE  LICENSE, AND IF  THE PARENTS DON'T GET  RESPONSIBLE'

AND  RAISE THEM WITH RESPONSIBILITY, THEN IF THEY CAUSE HARM TO OTHERS DUE TO

THEIR  STUPID  RACING , THEN  THE PARENTS  NEED TO GO TO JAIL AND THE KIDS NEED TO GO

TO  JUVENILE COURT ,:  TO BE BLUNT,  GROW  UP ,  GET  RESPONSIBLE, OR  LOSE YOUR RIDE!!!

 

IF IT WAS  MY CHILD, WHICH IT NEVER WILL BE CUZ THEY HAVE MORE  BRAINS THEN TO RACE,

BUT  IF  IT WAS, THE  BACKSIDE WOULD BE SORE  AND THEY WOULD WALK AND HAVE NO

RIDE, AND  NO  LICENSE:

 
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