Topic : 12/04 Doomed from the Start?

I AGREE.

I AM  A  VERY RELIGIOUS PERSON

AND YET I LOVE THE DR. PHILSHOW

THE WAY HE IS.

I PREFER TO HEAR THE COMMON SENSE

AND NOT A PREACHER.

I FELT DR PHIL DID TAKE THE

"PLATFORM BACK" IN A NICE WAY.

IN ALL RESPECT.

That girl needs assertiveness training. My 12 year old daughter has more spunk than Erin displayed. Until she learns how to stand up for herself, she should not be married to anyone.

Her husband is a lost cause. If she goes back to him, she will be making such a mistake. He's an idiot, and Dr. Phil completely had his number. So did Rev. Jakes.

I thought the show was well done yesterday. It is such a multi-faceted situation.

I think DrP was trying to sort things out and come to some kind of understanding with the both of them. That's hard to do in an hour. It DOES seem that he focused more on the husband. But remember, he DID make a point to turn to the wife and ask her if she realizes that she has a lot of maturing to do. I assumed that included not hitting her husband.

I have a son. I starting telling him from the time he was old enough to understand "You must not ever hit a girl. If a girl hits you, walk away."  That is simple enough advice.  In raising him, this type of thing never surfaced. Now that he is an adult, of course I still feel the same way. But, now I would include, walk away and call the police. It is not acceptable for a woman to hit a man either.

This couple married too young , and probably for the wrong reasons. But, the fact is, they have ended up with 3 children. That in itself should be motivation to try and get the help they need and try to make this marriage work.  But the bottom line is, because this started out for the wrong reasons, they may never really love each other and that is the foundation for any marriage.

Even if they can't make this marriage work, they both still need some sort of counseling to help them to be able to move forward in life in a positive way. IMO, the husband will always encounter problems in any relationship if he can't change his way of thinking. The wife will probably become stronger as she matures. I hope so. She has a lot on her plate and probably has never even figured out who she really is and what she really wants in life.  Regardless of all of that, she is charged with raising 3 children and making sure they have a decent life. (With or without her present husband.)

I agree with DrP's stand on what a husband's role is. I have been fortunate to have found a good man. We have been married for 33 years. I was a SAHM and continue to be a stay at home housewife. But, in the present time, it is almost impossible for a young couple starting out to make it on one paycheck.  It is just up to the individual couple to figure that out.

This couple just has so many things going on. No matter what the situation, all of those affairs didn't help matters. Under the best of circumstances, that would be a deal breaker.I'm afraid the physical violence could escalate to become a lot worse, resulting in something bad.(As DrP mentioned) 

Unless these 2 problems can be resolved, I don't hold out any hope.

I'm not sure all the counseling in the world can make the husband come to see how wrong he is in his beliefs. If it's true that his wife hits him, he should have walked away and got the police involved.(Especially if this is an ongoing problem.) I can understand the wife's frustration over her husband's behavior, but hitting him is not the answer.

I respect Bishop Jakes. He gave the husband good sound advice. But, I also see DrP's analogy about forgiveness. ("I forgive you for stepping on my foot, but it's kinda hard to do it while you're STILL stomping on it!)

Time will tell if this marriage will work out. Maybe on some follow-up show, we'll get an up-date and perhaps they will have seen the light.  

Can you imagine having the responsibility of 3 children and having a cheating husband who is also verbally and physically abusive? She probably didn't know whether to sh** or go blind. I'm not giving Erin a free pass, she certainly has some responsibility in all this. It does no good to say what she should have done, because fact is they both have to deal with what "was done". Which is that they got pregnant too soon, married because of the pregnancy, and added 2 more children to the mix. What's done is done.

I have often said and still say that I would never go on the show. Erin is an example of how hard it is to sit down in front of camers and function. I think the problem with Anthony trying to explain things is that he continued to feel justified in HIS actions. It certainly was wrong for Erin to ever hit Anthony,no doubt. But he never acknowledged that his "restraining " her was not the real answer.

They are BOTH wrong. DrP told Erin that she has a lot of maturing to do. I thought that probably covered her hitting of Anthony. I think DrP focused on Anthony's reaction to being hit and subsequent reaction and justification of his actions, because of the simple fact that Anthony just couldn't see the light.  If he cannot changes his beliefs and if she cannot stop hitting him then nothing will ever change.

I am puzzled that Dr. Phil would say to a man that he does not have the right to protect himself against a women. He commented that the man should not have restrained his wife from causing him bodily harm.

The reason our society will always be messed up is because of people like Dr. Phil.  What Dr. Phil

should be saying is; it not correct for man or women to abuse the other. I know a lady that beats her husband , calls the police and they drag him out of his home. Lets start holding both genders accountable for their actions.Verbal abuse is also a two way street. Let open our minds instead of trying to protect what we think is the weaker sex. My wife's a body builder, what would Dr. Phil do if she hit him---stand their and get his butt kicked? Dr. Phil get REAL.