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Topic : 12/05 Internet Dangers

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Created on : Friday, November 30, 2007, 01:42:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You don’t think twice when logging on to the Internet to shop for household items, chat with relatives and buy movie tickets, but surfing the net can have dangerous consequences. Donna Jou made headlines when she disappeared five months ago. The straight A-student was last seen in the company of John Burgess, a convicted sex offender whom police believe she met on Craigslist. Donna’s family is outraged that Burgess isn’t behind bars, and her mom, Nili, makes an impassioned plea for her safe return. Their attorney, Gloria Allred, brings Dr. Phil up to speed on this tragic case. Then, Marcus and Rhodesia were married for eight years and had three kids, but that didn’t stop Marcus from having an affair with a woman he met on MySpace. Marcus says Rhodesia drove him to cheat because she let herself go. The ink has barely dried on their divorce papers, but Marcus and Rhodesia are already thinking about reconciling. Can Marcus change, or should Rhodesia thank her lucky stars that she’s out of this marriage? Tell us what you think!

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December 4, 2007, 1:09 pm CST

12/05 Internet Dangers

 She let herself go ? Classic excuse, sorry buddy, but you're no Samuel L. Jackson yourself.
I love how these people excuse themselves.
For Women its
he dosen't pay any attention to me ( is this man working two jobs to allow you to stay home with the kids and to giove you financial security).
he dosen't take me anywhere (have you ever asked ? are you financially ABLE to go out ? Pizza and candlelight at the kitchen table can be romantic )
I want excitement ( be careful what you wish for )
For Men
She let herself go ( okay that toddler of yours she's raising dosen't really care what she looks like, have YOU done anything top make her feel good )
I'm bored ( oh wah, what makes you think YOU'VE become more attractive and exciting over the years )
She'as a bad housekeeper ( when was the last time you picked up after yourself ? )
I want variety ( have you thought to bring this up and maybe make suggestions, or listen to hers )
And it all comes down to one thing, its YOUR choice whether or NOT to cheat, its not your spouses choice, its ALL YOURS.  The internet isn't at fault here, you can meet a partner ANYWHERE not just online, Face Book, MySpace are networking sites and you can CHOOSE who you speak to or NOT who you add or DON'T.
I hope she dosen't rush into a reconciliation with him.
 
December 4, 2007, 1:41 pm CST

BEEN THERE

I am a woman who has just gone through this ordeal with my husband. He had a secret myspace that he had about 1000 girls on his friends list and only girls. I also found out that he was talking with them on the internet on a daily basis and in some cases he contacted them over the phone and with text messages. This was devistating for me because when he started doing this I was pregnant with his second child, and we have only been married for four years but have been together eight. To me internet relationships is considered cheating.
 
December 5, 2007, 6:42 am CST

Tisk tisk...

DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE?!

 

So... we stand before GOD and say:

 

'...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part...'  (or something similar along those lines)

 

And then you go home, call your wife a fat b*tch, smack her around and cheat on her? (just an example) Like, I just don't understand. I'm not saying that it's ALWAYS the men doing this sort of stuff but I definitely have to say that the men stand out more, for me, than the women.

 

To the men that cheat and cheat CONSTANTLY - DON'T GET MARRIED! Do you really need a 20 year old to be telling you that? It's really quite simple. If you wanna be a slut, do it on YOUR OWN TIME. Don't drag people down with you, such as your WIFE. She doesn't deserve that and doesn't need to go through the pain and drama. And if you have kids? EVEN WORSE. That's even more disgusting. And QUIT justifying why you cheated. You can't justify that.. IT'S WRONG. I don't care WHAT HAPPENS between a couple.. there are ALWAYS options and no, cheating is NOT one of them. You work through the issues maturely and in a civilized manner. You just DON'T cheat. Cheating does not solve a problem, but it sure as hell makes it worse.

 

And.. if you're that eager to become a walking STD - GET A DIVORCE. In fact, you wouldn't even have to GO THROUGH A DIVORCE IF YOU NEVER GOT MARRIED TO BEGIN WITH!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
December 5, 2007, 6:50 am CST

Myspace blame

It seems to me these days that everyone is blaming Myspace for everything. Myspace was made for people to reconnect with friends. If someone is on there cheating or whatever, then it is that person who should be to blame.

 

There are people doing the same thing on sites like Pogo.com, a gaming site, and no one mentions those. There was a young man killed a few months ago because two 40 something adults decided to act like teens. The man said he was a twenty something marine who fell for a 16 year old girl who turned out to be a 40 year old woman using her daughters account. When the man's wife found out she told the other woman. His co worker thought he was helping a young girl. The 40 year old ended up killing him because they worked together and he was jealous of the relationship that had started. The guy was 22 and lost his life because two grown adults wanted to play around on the computer. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THAT?

 
December 5, 2007, 6:55 am CST

The Intenet is a good and bad tool. It all depends

As a high school teacher, a former felony parole office and a mother of a teen (and of a 7-yr-old), I could care less what ADULTS do for fun. If they are so selfish and immature that they feel the need to cheat, the problem is not the Internet; it is the individual and the marriage. The computer just makes the cheating easier and faster; that's all.

.

With that said, allow me to be NON-POLITCIALLY CORRECT (ie. honest). Those of you parents who allow your children to talk with stranger are STUPID. And unknown people chatting with your teens and children on MYSPACE (etc) accounts are STRANGERS. That makes you parents STUPID.

 

Private MYSPACE (etc) accounts where kids talk with just the kids they know from school, sports, church, etc, are great; however, many teens nationwide are being allowed by their STUPID parents to chat with strangers.

 

It's easy for losers and dangerous types to hide behind computer screens and gain the trust of your children (that includes your teens). After 9 years of teaching teens, they are wonderful "creatures" who are trusting by nature, always want to see the good in people and don't think of someone they communicate with as a "stranger." This is a recipe for disaster and it is the BLAME of the parents (parents who are supposed to be protecting them and guiding them).

 

Wake up, Parents. Stop being STUPID. Start doing your jobs as parents. Spend more time WITH your kids. Monitor what they do, who they converse with and who they see. Give them space to grow, learn and spread their wings, but don't think that allowing them total freedom is a GIFT. It's no different than putting a loaded gun in their little paws.

 

I was a kid with total freedom because my wonderful parents were clueless and trusted me 100%. I am lucky to be alive. If MYSPACE had been around when I was a teen, I am confident I would have become a victim!

 
December 5, 2007, 7:14 am CST

MySpace

I am getting so tired of people accusing MySpace the Internet for cheating. It is called "WEAKNESS" people. I'm 38 and I have a MySpace. Does'nt mean that I am there looking for another man. Sorry to say, but it seems like alot of people these days really dont take marriage seriously. So many people are out there cheating on one another and they can turn around and blame it on someone or something else. I just think alot of people out there have alot of growing up to do. Plus if you have a hard time staying with just one person, then you need to stay single.
 
December 5, 2007, 8:09 am CST

Rhodesia and cheating husband

I think this woman is a weak.. and desparate.. First of all she's in denial. He is refusing to take responsibility for his actions. Which means that he doesn't think he did anything wrong. and she's letting him off the hook. Well I hope he cheats again, because he will cheat again. Maybe then she'll learn to wake up and take care of herself. She's pathetic. He thinks he's innocent.. She's an idiot. She makes women look bad. Then she apologized for her behavior... How low can you go, just to keep a man and his income.. He's telling you in your face on national TV that it's your fault he cheated... Not his. So when she doesn't dress sexy enough or they have financial problems he's going to cheat AGAIN.. AND GUESS WHAT. She deserves it..
 
December 5, 2007, 8:18 am CST

Where's the line?

What if Marcus had not physically been unfaithful to his wife?  What if he had just gotten involved with someone online emotionally?

 

Is that less or more forgivable?

 

Can something mean "cheating" to one partner and not to the other and things still work out?

 
December 5, 2007, 8:35 am CST

12/05 Internet Dangers

My son's Cub Scout leader was arrested about 2 months ago for trying to solicit sex with a 15 year old girl on the internet. Turns out, it wasn't a 15 year old girl, it was an undercover cop. When they confiscated his computer, they found pornographic pictures of teenage girls on the hard drive. His trial is tomorrow. I know what he did was wrong, and it's disgusting and sick, but why were these girls posting naked pictures of themselves on the internet to start with? You're just courting trouble when you do things like that.
 
December 5, 2007, 8:46 am CST

On being a co-dependent

Quote From: shadycat1

 She let herself go ? Classic excuse, sorry buddy, but you're no Samuel L. Jackson yourself.
I love how these people excuse themselves.
For Women its
he dosen't pay any attention to me ( is this man working two jobs to allow you to stay home with the kids and to giove you financial security).
he dosen't take me anywhere (have you ever asked ? are you financially ABLE to go out ? Pizza and candlelight at the kitchen table can be romantic )
I want excitement ( be careful what you wish for )
For Men
She let herself go ( okay that toddler of yours she's raising dosen't really care what she looks like, have YOU done anything top make her feel good )
I'm bored ( oh wah, what makes you think YOU'VE become more attractive and exciting over the years )
She'as a bad housekeeper ( when was the last time you picked up after yourself ? )
I want variety ( have you thought to bring this up and maybe make suggestions, or listen to hers )
And it all comes down to one thing, its YOUR choice whether or NOT to cheat, its not your spouses choice, its ALL YOURS.  The internet isn't at fault here, you can meet a partner ANYWHERE not just online, Face Book, MySpace are networking sites and you can CHOOSE who you speak to or NOT who you add or DON'T.
I hope she dosen't rush into a reconciliation with him.

   The addict or abuser will always find an adequate excuse.  It may be flimsy, but they will never find fault with themselves.  They will blame MySpace.  Or Craig'slist.  Or something.  An abusing husband will claim "she let herself go, she isn't as attractive as a size 2 runway model."  (He never notices he is not Denzel Washington)  When he feels the need to damage this children as much as his spouse, he claims that  "she's isn't a good parent."  When he attacks her value in society,  (we are as valuable as the money we earn) "she didn't earn enough money. "

    Those are handy excuses. 

    And the co-dependent finds excuses for him.  To the rousing strains of Tammy Wynette's Stand by Your Man, she forgives the unforgivable.  She is lost in the myth that this is a competition she must win with all the **** .  She will prove to all the--well, let's be charitable and say-- women that he cheated with that she is the better woman.  She goes off into a happy, feminine fantasy where she proves she deserves and truly loves him.  

    He has learned to play a co-dependent for a fool.  All he has to do is say "I'm sorry" and all the past is forgiven, and he gets to go on his own merry way.  He wants to protect himself from all those other women with a legal marriage.  (He can avoid an intense relationship with someone on Craig'slist by suddenly remembering 'I'm a married man")

    A reconciliation is in the best interests of the abuser, not the co-dependent..  She surrenders herself  in any relationship.  She is the last one to realize this because focusing on  being the best woman, the best wife, and the best mother that she can be takes up all her time and attention.  She forgets to remember if he is being the best husband or father.  He's a only a man, and he is not responsible for his own actions.   All the other women are the problem.  When she's honest with herself, which isn't often because she has as much self-esteem as a gnat, she admits she uses him as if he were  sexual object--the only dildo in town.

   And, she returns to that marriage as deluded as the first time she left.  I  

 
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