Topic : 12/06 Desperate to Be a Mom

Reading your message, I felt I just had to respond to you.  Words can't express the empathy I am feeling for you.    I have had to just put some matters in the hands of God and have faith they'll turn out as they should.  There is some comfort in knowing that there are some things that are just beyond our control and no amount of forcing on our part will make a difference.

 

I'll pray for you...and for me, that we continue to find peace.

 

Again, I can't imagine what that must have felt like to watch your husband volunterily get a vasectomy for no health reason knowing how against it you were and how it would make you feel and know there was nothing you could do to stop him. 

 Thank you for your imput and i agree with everything you said. I think I may have not made myself clear. I meant that the decision to not having a second child should not be based on the off chance that your wife may lose her figure. Obviously Robin takes good care of herself. I just wondered how much pressure there may be in looking so trim since she is in the spotlight and if Dr Phil's opinion on her being thin has anything to do with it. I cant help but think that being in a celebrity situation must have something to do with it and coupled with the fact that , as Dr Phil , has pointed out many times that his sisters are large women. I just wonder what the conversation was like when he told her he didnt want another child because she may let herself go. As neither of us were there , we cant really speculate. I brought it up because I heard this sometime back and it bothered me. Robin didnt address the question at the time.

Dr Phil obviously did what he thought was best as now they have Jordan. I did feel bad for the man who was really pushed into changing his mind. They made a bargain and now she has changed the terms. He is older and I can see how he doesnt want to go through this again. I think he was bullied and I hope it doesnt come back to bite him later.

While I can sympathize with you, I have no idea what you are going through.  I am one of those people who gets pregnant just because I can't count and missed my date by one day.  I can't imagine life without my children.  I can maybe offer you some advice, though.  We have a married couple that we are friends with that had a lot of trouble getting pregnant.  She told me that one of her doctors told her to stop trying so hard.  You can try too hard to get pregnant, and that will make your efforts ineffective.  Don't make it a job.  If you are too stressed out, you can actually make it harder to get pregnant.  This doctor told her that the best thing she could do, especially if she couldn't afford the treatments, just be healthy, take care of herself, and don't obsess about it.  You can try too hard.  Also, if the doctors aren't sure why, meaning they can't find any dysfunction for either of you, it could just be stress and bad timing.  You can buy over the counter ovulation kits that will tell you if you are ovulating.  Just watch your cycle, and most importantly, take care of yourself and your marriage.  I wish you luck.  I hope you are successful, because there is nothing like motherhood in the world.  Keep your spirits up, and take care of the important things in your life, too.

Hello,,,,, I hope you read this message.  I am a 39 year old female.  I too have tried several tries of invitro with no sucess.  I was told my eggs were too old.  It was important to us to have children and adoption was secondary to us since we wanted our own children.  We decided to use an egg donar.  I wanted our genes but was willing to settle for just my husband.  A part of him meant a lot to me and him.  My donor and I share a lot of similarities, we both are from the same ethnicity (which was important to me) we share a lot of the same physical and moral believes.  I am happy with our decision and we are now expecting our baby in a couple of months. 

 

I also wanted to let you know something that my fertility doctor never checked me for and that was a thyroid condition I never knew I had.  This Thyroid condition, per my obgyn and thyroid physician, could of been the cause of me not able to concieve.  I am so excited to try again once I deliver my first born.  My thyroid is now in control and it will be great to see if my next child will have both of our genes.  Don't give up and and the power of prayer goes a long way.  If it wasn't for this pregnancy I would have never found out about my thyroid therfore the hope for  a  future pregancy without the price tag.  Good Luck and God Bless.

hi there, I am new to this, but I just wanted to say that this episode really brought back memories. We spent ten years doing the "infertitlity thing" At one time I jokingly told our doctor that I had so many hormones running through me that my husband didn't want to be in the same room with me, much less close enough to get me pregnant. It is amazing how this does consume you. I think it is because it is something totally out of our control, yet so many people find it so easy. (you know the "oops, i'm pregnant people") Let me just say that if I would have known then what I know now, there is no way I would have spent so much time and energy trying to get pregnant. We suffered three miscarriages before deciding to call it quits and start looking at other options. I am now the mommy of two beautiful adopted children, and I can honsetly say that God is so good because I could not have done better myself. I have a 3 1/2 yr old boy (brought him home from the hospital) and a beautiful 11 month old girl (brought her home at 2 months) And I went through our county to adopt. I had very pleasant experiences with both our adoptions and had help every step of the way. Both my children were relinquished voluntarily so it is my choice as to what involvement we have with birth families. If you are struggling out there let me say that I  have been where you are at and there is light at the end of the tunnel. This to shall pass, and if God lays it on your heart to adopt, he will bring you the perfect child.

We were trying for a family with no luck and my doctor was not much help. Finally I pushed to go to a specialist where I discovered that I had polycystic ovary syndrome. He told us that we would have to have treatment if we wanted to have a family. After five cycles of tablets and two miscarriages we were blessed with a beautiful daughter. Twenty-six months later again five cycles of tablets and two miscarriages we had a son. So I understand the struggle to have the dream of having a family come true and it is the hardest thing in the world to be patient. I finally understood when out of the blue we discovered that our third child was on the way with no help from drugs/treatment. My doctor was pleasantly surprised but said mother nature has a way  of making things easier when she feels the time is right. It was the hardest pregnancy with more things going wrong than right but along with her brother and sister they are our little miracles. We feel blessed that they are in our lives and I thank God for allowing us to become parents.  So when you think you are all alone in your struggle to become a parent just remember that there are others in the world who understand.

I didn't get the whole show, particularly when a female would make her and her spouse go bankrupt to procreate.  there comes a point when you just say no matter what happens you have to enjoy your life.  get an interest or a passion outside of being egotistical and wanting to spread your DNA around the Earth.

 

i am 42 yrs old and never wanted to procreate.  i didn't/don't get the thrill.  being obsessed about this subject is beyond me. 

 

i do have a problem saying being childless by choice is selfish.  you can only be selfish to something that is already created.  if it is not you CANNOT be selfish to it.  its a choice to reproduce yourself, no one holds a gun to your head.

Well, you told the older gentleman to think about it.  So, what if your children were grown, as yours are, and Robin decided she wanted a child now.  Would you still want to "think about it?"

 I call it child FREE by choice, not childless....and no, we are not selfish, that's the lamest accusation anyone can make, there is no logic to that at all.

I hope that this message will get to Michelle and Eric. I am a 37 year old woman. I too was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). I went to the doctor and he put me on Fortamet and told me to call him when I got pregnant. The great news is that was in November of 2005. By February 2006, we were pregnant. Now I'm happy to say I have a beautiful 13 month old baby girl named Alexis.

 

I hope that this might be of some comfort and relief to you. (By the way, insurance covered all of it)