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Topic : 12/07 A Killer Among Us

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Created on : Tuesday, December 04, 2007, 04:09:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Every nine seconds a woman is battered in the United States. More shocking is that 50 percent of all women murdered in the U.S. are killed by a spouse or an acquaintance. Dr. Phil goes inside a story that has captured national attention for over a month. In this ripped-from-the-headlines show he delves into the events surrounding the disappearance of 23-year old Stacy Peterson, mother of two, and wife of Drew Peterson. Attorney Lisa Bloom, and Drew’s former fiancée, Kyle Piry, weigh in on this mysterious case. Is Drew involved in his fourth wife's disappearance, or did his wife really leave him for another man, as he claims? Then, meet another couple in crisis. Amanda says she lives in fear of her husband, Chris. She says he abuses her and she worries one day he will go too far, but she stays in the marriage anyway. Amanda's mother, Debby, thinks her daughter is living in denial and fears she will end up like Laci Peterson. Chris admits to being abusive but wants to try and salvage the relationship. You won't believe Chris' mother, Cheryl’s, explanation for his behavior!  And, Kim Gandy, the president of the National Organization for Women joins Dr. Phil with some startling domestic violence statistics and teaches victims how to develop an escape plan. If you live in fear of your spouse, this show just might save your life. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

December 6, 2007, 3:29 pm CST

A Killer IS among us!

I just wanted to mention-the similarity in the name Peterson and how Laci and Stacy rhyme. It sends chills through my bones, and how similar the actions. A 55 gallon barrell, and another woman who loved her husband. To me it is so scary!
 
December 6, 2007, 3:35 pm CST

A killer among us

Quote From: moodymitzy

I think that any woman who stays in a relationship with an abusive man is stupid. We have laws here that protect women.

 

Leave the guy press charges for abuse get a restraining order and a lisence to own a gun. If he shows up after all that shoot him.

I think these women see a big, strong man who they think will protect them. WRONG ANSWER! I believe that our system stinks! I keep thinking of the O.J. Simpson case-HE got away with murder and I think alot of men think they can also.
 
December 6, 2007, 3:36 pm CST

12/07 A Killer Among Us

Quote From: charmed_one

Dear Dr Phil,

I dated a man 11 yrs ago that was a loose cannon. He worked for the DOD civilian division on the local Navy base that also covered the Marines and Air Force. He was on the Air Force side. We met at my work. It was right after the OKC Bombing. I asked what he thought of it and that's when I found out about where he worked. We dated a few months and I saw what he really was like. Constantly trying to change me. Comparing me to ex-g/f. Why don't you do this why don't you do that etc. I told him I won't be something I'm not. His temper was a short fuse. If he made a mistake when we were out he'd go into a rage. Now mind you this man was liscenced to carry a gun. I tried subtly to get rid of him. We were out one night and he got so mad he hit me. I told him if he did it again all I had to do was dial 911 on my cell phone. He then proceded to tell me ' Oh you won't call the cops because I'm on the DOD'. I said 'and your point being'? HE said they wouldn't do anything to him. Well I tried and tried to get rid of him. My mom died on Apr. 28th 1996. We had a memorial for her on May 12th. He just showed up no invite or anything. Then comes back to the house like he belonged there. Finally I asked if he'd go I wanted to be alone after everyone left. Later that night I see a car in the cul-de-sac flashing it's headlights at my house. I went upstairs to see if I could see who it was and I couldn't tell. The next day he calls me and tells me when he got off work something told him to check on me and that he drove by and flashed the headlights. I asked why he did that and he said he thought I was up the lights were on. They were on timers but I didn't let him know that. After I got  off the phone I called my friend on the Horsham PD what had transpired. He told me to call him back and tell him had nothing to worry about they were looking out for me. Now me being a single woman in a huge house alone, I was scared of this man. He left a note on my car at work I took it to the police. We filed a report against him and they tried to call him and got no answer. The next day he followed me back to work and was asking me questions . He had my car blocked. All I gave was one word answers. I then called the police again and again they called and got no answer. They did the following day and he showed up in uniform like I knew he would. My friend told him to stay away from me, not to follow me, no more notes etc. In turn he tells my friend ' well you just make sure she doesn't call me anymore'. When my friend called and told me that I laughed. I said 'John is he really that dense? Who does he think filed the report my cat?' He said ' I figured you'd like to hear that'. In the interim I found out he had been stalking me for 2 weeks before we actually met. I made sure the police knew that too. All this happened in PA. I'm now in IA.

 

So Drew Peterson sounds like my ex. He thinks because he's a cop he's above reproach. Well he can guess again. IF i was married to him and he mistreated me in anyway he wouldn't be alive. I was abused from the age of 18-22 by my ex fiance. I learned how to defend myself and wouldn't think twice if I had access to a gun of using it to protect myself. Men that beat women are nothing but low self-esteemed ego maniacs. They think they're God and no one can touch them. Well this woman could. I guess I've rambled enough. Thanks for listening.

 

Sincerely,

Lesley

Iowa.

All I want to say is, God bless you and yours!
 
December 6, 2007, 3:42 pm CST

12/07 A Killer Among Us

Quote From: boredinmd

Dr. Phil

  I really don't understand these stories,greiving (HA HA) husbands who do unbelievable stupid acts and then play the fool. This professional police officer is no better than OJ,Scott Peterson,Susan Smith,or the rest of histories psycopaths. Divorce,addoption,or just getting on with life is always a better way to deal with a bad situation than to simply rid the world of OUR PROBLEM. I cannot understand why it seems that as a society we have come to the ultimate in a THROW AWAY society that even human life is worth so little.ONLY IN AMERICA.

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
December 6, 2007, 3:49 pm CST

12/07 A KILLER AMONG US

Quote From: sleepdancer

It's been nearly 25 years since I went to a shelter and sent my daughters across the country to hide out with relatives to escape from an evil man. Rarely does a day go by he doesn't cross my mind and I remember the threats and wonder if something will trigger him to remember them too. The longer I listened to his threats, the more they wormed their way into my brain, and when he said "As long as I live you will never leave me" I believed him.  After 3 years of living like this and carefully guarding my "secret", I was like a caged animal, ready to do anything to escape. He could see the change in me, and actually became concerned for his own safety.

 

At that time I worked in a Pathology lab, and one Monday after a particularly brutal weekend beating, I approached one of the doctors and asked him if I killed my husband would he "fix" the autopsy for me. He recognized my dire state and intervened by making some calls and connecting me with a battered women's shelter counselor.

 

I shudder to think about what could have happened to the girls and myself had I followed my troubled mind, as I was too unstable and afraid to wait for the next episode so it would legally be self defense. No, I was thinking the safest way would be to kill him in his sleep.

 

After a stint in the shelter and a long fearful few months and years, the girls and I went on with our lives. At the suggestion of the shelter staff, I went thru counselor training and worked as a volunteer on the hotline for a while. Writing has always been my therapy, and I think the excerpts (below) from a song I wrote provide a window into my mind at that time. After all these years, it is in the process of being put to music (country) and I hope one day it will cause some battered woman to stop keeping the secret, and maybe even make one man think twice.

 

Excerpts

You got folks thinking I won the prize

While the life were living is a thin disguise

Im tired of trying to keep it under cover

That youre a fighter and not a lover

And Im tired of you goin upside my head

Then coming and crawling up in my bed

You crossed the line this time

Youve got trouble on your hands

Guess your Daddy never told you

Dont go and make a woman crazy

 

Wish you could have seen your face

To see me strut my bruises in a public place

Now youre sleepin with one eye open

Spend your days watchin me and hopin

That its okay to eat my cookin

Wondring what I do when youre not looking

You crossed the line this time

Youve got trouble on your hands

Guess your Daddy never told you

Dont go and make a woman crazy

 

Bet you never counted on a woman like me

Shoulda never told me Id never be free

I got too much going on to take your mess

My hearts not broke, love died I guess

You say no other manll ever look my way

Well, look at me now and hear what I say

You crossed the line this time

Youve got trouble on your hands

Guess your Daddy never told you

Dont go and make a woman crazy

 

 

 

I believe that you are very brave and your Poem sums it up.Anny man that lays his hands on a woman or the other way should get help and if that doesn't help get out. I did 27 years ago and just recently my  first husband admitted he had spanked our son to hard.My son ended up in the hospital.To my knowledge after 7 years of an abusive marriage, the last straw.You don't lay your hands on our son.He left I had just enlisted in the Air Force and I had a career and safety for my son and myself.For 7 years"Why do you make me do this?" I had no answer. He never hit me when he was on drugs or when he drank.That is what I couldn't understand. Withdrawals.I thank God that today I know he is my Strength. My sister and I were just talking and the abuse we both put up with/Physical and Mental lead us later on in life to buy Love gifts to men for no reason.The cycle has to stop.And with Gods help it is.God Bless and Watch Over all Woman is my prayer.Men are suppose to Love support and protect us.Help all Generations to Stop The Physical and Mental abuse. God Bless All of You on This Message Board and your Mothers and Sister/Aunts all Woman.Amen
 
December 6, 2007, 4:05 pm CST

Crazy

Quote From: sleepdancer

It's been nearly 25 years since I went to a shelter and sent my daughters across the country to hide out with relatives to escape from an evil man. Rarely does a day go by he doesn't cross my mind and I remember the threats and wonder if something will trigger him to remember them too. The longer I listened to his threats, the more they wormed their way into my brain, and when he said "As long as I live you will never leave me" I believed him.  After 3 years of living like this and carefully guarding my "secret", I was like a caged animal, ready to do anything to escape. He could see the change in me, and actually became concerned for his own safety.

 

At that time I worked in a Pathology lab, and one Monday after a particularly brutal weekend beating, I approached one of the doctors and asked him if I killed my husband would he "fix" the autopsy for me. He recognized my dire state and intervened by making some calls and connecting me with a battered women's shelter counselor.

 

I shudder to think about what could have happened to the girls and myself had I followed my troubled mind, as I was too unstable and afraid to wait for the next episode so it would legally be self defense. No, I was thinking the safest way would be to kill him in his sleep.

 

After a stint in the shelter and a long fearful few months and years, the girls and I went on with our lives. At the suggestion of the shelter staff, I went thru counselor training and worked as a volunteer on the hotline for a while. Writing has always been my therapy, and I think the excerpts (below) from a song I wrote provide a window into my mind at that time. After all these years, it is in the process of being put to music (country) and I hope one day it will cause some battered woman to stop keeping the secret, and maybe even make one man think twice.

 

Excerpts

You got folks thinking I won the prize

While the life were living is a thin disguise

Im tired of trying to keep it under cover

That youre a fighter and not a lover

And Im tired of you goin upside my head

Then coming and crawling up in my bed

You crossed the line this time

Youve got trouble on your hands

Guess your Daddy never told you

Dont go and make a woman crazy

 

Wish you could have seen your face

To see me strut my bruises in a public place

Now youre sleepin with one eye open

Spend your days watchin me and hopin

That its okay to eat my cookin

Wondring what I do when youre not looking

You crossed the line this time

Youve got trouble on your hands

Guess your Daddy never told you

Dont go and make a woman crazy

 

Bet you never counted on a woman like me

Shoulda never told me Id never be free

I got too much going on to take your mess

My hearts not broke, love died I guess

You say no other manll ever look my way

Well, look at me now and hear what I say

You crossed the line this time

Youve got trouble on your hands

Guess your Daddy never told you

Dont go and make a woman crazy

 

 

 

Thanks..What an eye opener.. this Dr. Phil show has been.
 
December 6, 2007, 4:08 pm CST

12/07 A Killer Among Us

Quote From: moodymitzy

I think that any woman who stays in a relationship with an abusive man is stupid. We have laws here that protect women.

 

Leave the guy press charges for abuse get a restraining order and a lisence to own a gun. If he shows up after all that shoot him.

No woman is stupid! There is fear, anxiety and abandoment! These crazy lunatics can find women anywhere and think they can get away with it! We are talking about a police officer, remember, his wife is missing and there are suspicions about his late wife! Leaving, pressing charges are not an answer, and so do you think a gun is the RIGHT answer?
 
December 6, 2007, 4:20 pm CST

A KILLER AMONG US

Quote From: marylee50

I agree!!

How true!

 
December 6, 2007, 4:21 pm CST

12/07 A Killer Among Us

Quote From: marylee50

Thanks..What an eye opener.. this Dr. Phil show has been.
I just wanted to say what an insperation you are! You showed how strong you are and took matters into your own hands! I really look up to you!
 
December 6, 2007, 4:24 pm CST

12/07 A Killer Among Us

Quote From: marylee50

Thanks..What an eye opener.. this Dr. Phil show has been.
Have you already seen the show?
 
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