Message Boards

Topic : 12/07 A Killer Among Us

Number of Replies: 291
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Tuesday, December 04, 2007, 04:09:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Every nine seconds a woman is battered in the United States. More shocking is that 50 percent of all women murdered in the U.S. are killed by a spouse or an acquaintance. Dr. Phil goes inside a story that has captured national attention for over a month. In this ripped-from-the-headlines show he delves into the events surrounding the disappearance of 23-year old Stacy Peterson, mother of two, and wife of Drew Peterson. Attorney Lisa Bloom, and Drew’s former fiancée, Kyle Piry, weigh in on this mysterious case. Is Drew involved in his fourth wife's disappearance, or did his wife really leave him for another man, as he claims? Then, meet another couple in crisis. Amanda says she lives in fear of her husband, Chris. She says he abuses her and she worries one day he will go too far, but she stays in the marriage anyway. Amanda's mother, Debby, thinks her daughter is living in denial and fears she will end up like Laci Peterson. Chris admits to being abusive but wants to try and salvage the relationship. You won't believe Chris' mother, Cheryl’s, explanation for his behavior!  And, Kim Gandy, the president of the National Organization for Women joins Dr. Phil with some startling domestic violence statistics and teaches victims how to develop an escape plan. If you live in fear of your spouse, this show just might save your life. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

December 6, 2007, 11:38 am CST

i myself was a victim for nine years.

 I RELIZE HOW HARD IT IS TO LEAVE SOMEONE WHOM IS VIOLENT. I WAS MARRIED FOR NINE YEARS TO A MAN WHOM BEAT ME FOR ATTENDING CHURCH LOCKED ME AND HIS THREE CHILDREN OUT IN THE DEAD OF COLD. BEAT ME BECAUSE I TURNED THE CHANNEL ON THE RADIO AND FORGOT TO PUT IT BACK ON THE CORRECT CHANNEL. BEAT ME BECAUSE THE CAR BROKE DOWN. BROKE MY RIBS WHEN I WAS EIGHT MONTHS PREGNATE AND BLACKED BOTH EYES. BACK THEN THE POLICE SAID GO BACK HOME. IN 1978 I FINALLY AFTER YEARS OF THINKING HOW AN I GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE NOT EVEN TELLING MY SISTER ARE OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS SCARED THE WORD WOULD GET BACK TO HIM . I FELT I THOUGHT OF MY ESCAPE DEEP IN MY SOUL FOR ONLY ME TO KNOW ABOUT. I FINALLY DECIDED DEATH WOULD BE BETTER THAN LIVING ONE MORE DAY LIKE A PRISONER IN MY HOME WITHIN MY BODY. I HAD FOUR CHILDREN AND WE LEFT. HE TOLD MY BROTHERIN LAW THAT HE WAS GOING TO KILL ALL OF US ON A TRIP HE PLANED TO ORAL ROBERTS UNIVERSITY. WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS CHANGING PLANS NOT GOING TO ORAL ROBERTS UNIVERSITY. HE CAME INTO MY HOUSE AFTER I HAD CALLED 911 MY BROTHER OPENED THE DOOR AFTER I HAD TOLD HIM NOT TO. I GUESS HE WAS YOUNG AND SCARED ALSO. I JUMPED OUT A WINDOW AND HE JUMPED OUT BEHIND ME AN TORE MY CLOTHES OFF ME AND BEAT ME. BY THIS TIME THE POLICE CAME THE FIRST TIME I CALLED THEM. THEY EXPLAINED WHAT THEY COULD GET HIM FOR IF I PRESSED CHARGES I STILL DID NOT PRESS CHARGES. I HID OUT UNTIL FINALLY HE WAS ARRESTED FOR A CRIME THAT GOT HIM TWENTY TWO YEARS IN PRISON.I FINALLY REMARRIED AND STAYED MARRIED FOR TWENTY FIVE YEARS IT IS SCAREY TRYING TO LEAVE SOMEONE THAT YOU FEEL CAN READ YOUR EVERY THOUGHT AND WILL KILL YOU IF YOU TRY TO LEAVE. I TRIED TO LEAVE EVERYONE I KNEW WAS AFRAID OF HIM ALSO. SO EVENTUAL HAD TO COME HOME AND HE WOULD SAY ON THE PHONE AFTER FINDING ME JUST COME HOME AND GET YOUR ASS WHIPPING AND IT WILL BE ALRIGHT.FINALLY IT WAS ALRIGHT AFTER HIS LOCK UP. I WAS STILL AFRAID THAT HE WOULD SEND SOMEONE TO KILL ME. HE TOLD ME SO MANY TIMES DURING THE YEARS THAT HE WOULD KILL ME. IT WAS DEEP WITHIN MY BELIEF SYSTEN THAT HE WOULD.WHAT I WOULD SUGGEST TO SOMEONE WHOM IS GOING THROUGH THIS YOU BETTER LEAVE ARE YOU COULD BE KILLED NOW THERE IS SHELTERS THAT WILL PROTECT YOU. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.
 
December 6, 2007, 12:28 pm CST

Women need to fight back

When i married my husband, I told him he would never ever put his hands on me, for any reason.  One year into our marriage he punch me in the mouth, while I was holding my 1yr old son, because he said i never shut up.  I remember everything so well, because it was the  first time I celebrated mothers day.  My son is 10yrs old now, and he still flinches when people move there hands near his body.  I went to work after he hit me, and because my sister work  at the same place i begged her not to tell my parents, what my husband had done. Later that evening while at work he came by my workplace and left a mother's day card on my car, the card had said that him and my son were sorry and that he loved me.  I went home to tell him i was leaving him.  He wouldn't let me leave and kept blocking my way out of our home, begging me to stay, saying he loved me.  I told him, his son had nothing to be sorry for and that i told him he would never hit while we were married.  He put his hands on me again to keeping me from leaving and i have never been so angry that i punched him right back twice in the jaw.  He was shocked that I put my hands on him as much was I.  Since that incident he has never touched me again.  Since than we have had four more children and have been married for 12 years and I can honestly same I am very happy.  I believe that no man has the right to put his hands on his wife or children.  And those men  that do should be put in jail.  I think women today should open there eyes to what there husbands are doing to them and start fighting back.  If the cops can't or won't help you, I say dig deep women and start fighting back show them your not going to take it any more.  And for those wives who have children, think of them, your first obligation is to your kids not your husband.  Fight back women, not murder or maim, just show them  abusers because we are women does not mean we won't fight back, because we are women we are not your personal punching bag or your verbal sponge.  We are human beings that deserve respect.
 
December 6, 2007, 1:18 pm CST

He loves her

I have to say it doesn't make sense salvaging a relationship he is insisting. I think she will wind up dead if she stays in arelationship. I have a friend this past summer she went through domestic violence. They got into a fight. It is to dangeroud to stay in an abusive relationship this is not a good future for her. Then cChris has to risk letting her her go
 
December 6, 2007, 1:42 pm CST

Drew Petersen

 I think that Drew Petersen is an arrogant $%^&*#@ who killed his 2 wives!!!! When one wife disappears, he always seems to have someone in the background waiting to marry him. What in the world do these women see in him????
 
December 6, 2007, 2:04 pm CST

Nannie 1265

Quote From: nannie1265

I beleive  holeheartedly that this man killed his wife..all the facts are there...he has never shown any worry of her at all..and now he is with the children !!!...I think that someone should go and get them from him as you never know what he would do...Would I trust him...NO...I'm glad that you are doing this show to let everyone know that yes even a cop can kill and be protected as that is what they are doing...Nannie1265

I believe that also.. Who else? If she isn't found alive, it would be unbelievable if he didn't harm her.

As you do, I honestly believe he did kill her. I almost hate to watch him on TV. There's something about him that makes me ill. How could that old fart take up with a 17 year old child anyway. He's such a looser. I'm sure ladies his age couldn't be manipulated as he wanted.  There ARE bad cop's as in any profession, but I'm  so sure he would be the very same type man as he is now if he were a bus driver, fireman or whatever posissition he might have held. I've been married to a police officer for 18 years and I've seen he and his colleagues do wonderful things for the people in our city.

When you call 911 you can be 99% sure the men and women that show up at your home/car/school etc. to help you or someone you care for, will have only your/their  very best interest at heart.

 

An old cop's wife.

 
December 6, 2007, 2:06 pm CST

$%^&*#@

Quote From: hawkeye51355

 I think that Drew Petersen is an arrogant $%&*#@ who killed his 2 wives!!!! When one wife disappears, he always seems to have someone in the background waiting to marry him. What in the world do these women see in him????
I agree!!
 
December 6, 2007, 2:13 pm CST

12/07 A Killer Among Us

Quote From: hawkeye51355

 I think that Drew Petersen is an arrogant $%&*#@ who killed his 2 wives!!!! When one wife disappears, he always seems to have someone in the background waiting to marry him. What in the world do these women see in him????

I think that any woman who stays in a relationship with an abusive man is stupid. We have laws here that protect women.

 

Leave the guy press charges for abuse get a restraining order and a lisence to own a gun. If he shows up after all that shoot him.

 
December 6, 2007, 2:20 pm CST

High Price to Pay for Staying

It's been nearly 25 years since I went to a shelter and sent my daughters across the country to hide out with relatives to escape from an evil man. Rarely does a day go by he doesn't cross my mind and I remember the threats and wonder if something will trigger him to remember them too. The longer I listened to his threats, the more they wormed their way into my brain, and when he said "As long as I live you will never leave me" I believed him.  After 3 years of living like this and carefully guarding my "secret", I was like a caged animal, ready to do anything to escape. He could see the change in me, and actually became concerned for his own safety.

 

At that time I worked in a Pathology lab, and one Monday after a particularly brutal weekend beating, I approached one of the doctors and asked him if I killed my husband would he "fix" the autopsy for me. He recognized my dire state and intervened by making some calls and connecting me with a battered women's shelter counselor.

 

I shudder to think about what could have happened to the girls and myself had I followed my troubled mind, as I was too unstable and afraid to wait for the next episode so it would legally be self defense. No, I was thinking the safest way would be to kill him in his sleep.

 

After a stint in the shelter and a long fearful few months and years, the girls and I went on with our lives. At the suggestion of the shelter staff, I went thru counselor training and worked as a volunteer on the hotline for a while. Writing has always been my therapy, and I think the excerpts (below) from a song I wrote provide a window into my mind at that time. After all these years, it is in the process of being put to music (country) and I hope one day it will cause some battered woman to stop keeping the secret, and maybe even make one man think twice.

 

Excerpts

You got folks thinking I won the prize

While the life we’re living is a thin disguise

I’m tired of trying to keep it under cover

That you’re a fighter and not a lover

And I’m tired of you goin up’side my head

Then coming and crawling up in my bed

You crossed the line this time

You’ve got trouble on your hands

Guess your Daddy never told you

Don’t go and make a woman crazy

 

Wish you could have seen your face

To see me strut my bruises in a public place

Now you’re sleepin with one eye open

Spend your days watchin me and hopin

That it’s okay to eat my cookin

Won’dring what I do when you’re not looking

You crossed the line this time

You’ve got trouble on your hands

Guess your Daddy never told you

Don’t go and make a woman crazy

 

Bet you never counted on a woman like me

Shoulda never told me I’d never be free

I got too much going on to take your mess

My heart’s not broke, love died I guess

You say no other man’ll ever look my way

Well, look at me now and hear what I say

You crossed the line this time

You’ve got trouble on your hands

Guess your Daddy never told you

Don’t go and make a woman crazy

 

 

 

 
December 6, 2007, 2:21 pm CST

FriPeterson

They never learn. My ex Thanks every lie he told was true and every slap was for his mistake for marring a women lower tham him. I put him through college . I had his children but I was never good enough to have Christmas dinner with his FAMILY. in 12 years. I left him after 12 years. Thank God I had a good job at G. E. and could raise our 2 children.. to be fine adults. Ladies if he hurts you run.  Men if your wife beats  you  up Get out with the kids quick. Yes it does happen.  Judy                
 
December 6, 2007, 2:33 pm CST

A killer among us

Dear Dr Phil,

I dated a man 11 yrs ago that was a loose cannon. He worked for the DOD civilian division on the local Navy base that also covered the Marines and Air Force. He was on the Air Force side. We met at my work. It was right after the OKC Bombing. I asked what he thought of it and that's when I found out about where he worked. We dated a few months and I saw what he really was like. Constantly trying to change me. Comparing me to ex-g/f. Why don't you do this why don't you do that etc. I told him I won't be something I'm not. His temper was a short fuse. If he made a mistake when we were out he'd go into a rage. Now mind you this man was liscenced to carry a gun. I tried subtly to get rid of him. We were out one night and he got so mad he hit me. I told him if he did it again all I had to do was dial 911 on my cell phone. He then proceded to tell me ' Oh you won't call the cops because I'm on the DOD'. I said 'and your point being'? HE said they wouldn't do anything to him. Well I tried and tried to get rid of him. My mom died on Apr. 28th 1996. We had a memorial for her on May 12th. He just showed up no invite or anything. Then comes back to the house like he belonged there. Finally I asked if he'd go I wanted to be alone after everyone left. Later that night I see a car in the cul-de-sac flashing it's headlights at my house. I went upstairs to see if I could see who it was and I couldn't tell. The next day he calls me and tells me when he got off work something told him to check on me and that he drove by and flashed the headlights. I asked why he did that and he said he thought I was up the lights were on. They were on timers but I didn't let him know that. After I got  off the phone I called my friend on the Horsham PD what had transpired. He told me to call him back and tell him had nothing to worry about they were looking out for me. Now me being a single woman in a huge house alone, I was scared of this man. He left a note on my car at work I took it to the police. We filed a report against him and they tried to call him and got no answer. The next day he followed me back to work and was asking me questions . He had my car blocked. All I gave was one word answers. I then called the police again and again they called and got no answer. They did the following day and he showed up in uniform like I knew he would. My friend told him to stay away from me, not to follow me, no more notes etc. In turn he tells my friend ' well you just make sure she doesn't call me anymore'. When my friend called and told me that I laughed. I said 'John is he really that dense? Who does he think filed the report my cat?' He said ' I figured you'd like to hear that'. In the interim I found out he had been stalking me for 2 weeks before we actually met. I made sure the police knew that too. All this happened in PA. I'm now in IA.

 

So Drew Peterson sounds like my ex. He thinks because he's a cop he's above reproach. Well he can guess again. IF i was married to him and he mistreated me in anyway he wouldn't be alive. I was abused from the age of 18-22 by my ex fiance. I learned how to defend myself and wouldn't think twice if I had access to a gun of using it to protect myself. Men that beat women are nothing but low self-esteemed ego maniacs. They think they're God and no one can touch them. Well this woman could. I guess I've rambled enough. Thanks for listening.

 

Sincerely,

Lesley

Iowa.

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Next | Last