Quote From: isurviveditI have been watching the Stacy Peterson case very carefully as I have a common interest in the case. My ex husband was a cop who was also an abuser. As I listen to every bit of information that the media coves with the Stacy Peterson case, I see my ex's beahvior in Drew Peterson. Everything from him harrassing the women in his life while on duty by pulilng them over on traffic stops to watching his cocky demeanor, to blaming everyone else for his troubles to the reports of calls for help with no one there to help except his co workers. I lived thru it all and I can tell all of you forst hand, it was a living hell. I got out ! It took a lot of work and a lot of time to get out but I made the plans and I did it, but not without great sacrifice. It took a great deal of time to put it all together while trying to play it cool and smart so as to NOT end up dead before I made my attempt at leaving. I knew, had I failed at my attempt to get out, I would meet certain death. There was no doubt in my mind that it was not a matter of if but, when. The beatings were becoming so severe that I knew I had to do something or I too would have met the same fate.
I was constantly reminded of how he was a cop and no one would believe me if I tried to reach out for help. I was told that his buddies, who would respond if I called for help would NEVER arrest him . I was followed by him while he was working. He wuold show up at my work and park outside the buildings and watch to see if I left the building for any reason. He would run tags to see who's car was at our home while he was at work. The list goes on and on as to things he would do to intimidate me or harass me, while using his job as his biggest tool.
I was struck in the presence of other officer's . Two of which were on duty and two who were not on duty but there at our home. I cannot tell you how scary it is to be trapped in domestic violence but, when your abuser is a cop............ The playing field changes dramatically and the precautions are generally not in place. Where do you go ? A shelter ? Guess what ? All the cops know where all the shelter's are.......
It took me getting on a plane and flying off to a place I had never even heard of before. No friend's , no family, just me and a one way ticket. Once I arrived , I went to a shelter. There I was told I should go to the courthouse and petition for a name change. I did and it was granted. I then went to the local Social Security Administration office and talked to a lady about changing my social security number. It was explained to me that it is a lengthy process and IF my application was granted, it would take several months. After supplying them with the documentation I had been able to get together about the abuse , I sent it all off. Within two weeks I had a new number. All of this because it was deemed to be so dangerous that he was a cop who had threatened to kill me and never have me found by anyone and had the tools to find me no matter where I went since he was in law enforcement, I moved away and was granted a whole new identity.
I am now speaking up because the recent media attention given to cases of women who are dead or missing where the suspects are thier husband's who are cops. I feel the need to speak out at this point because there is a lot to be learned in domestic violence cases where the abusers are cops. For starters........ For any of you reading this who are being abused by cops who are your spouses, I know you do not have a clue where to turn.. There is no rule book for this type of abuse. All the so called " norms' go flying out the window. I want you to all know there is a way.... Start by planning on moving away ! Move away, ask for a name change and ask for a new social security number. Have SOME documentation of abuse and leave ! Make sure you play it smart ! Go out of your cities or counties and meet with an advocate at a shelter and tell them what's happening in the event that you do end up dead or missing, that way there is SOMETHING for someone to take to law enforcment if something happens to you. Make arrangements to just move away and start your life all over again, literally. It's hard ! You leave behind everything you have known all your life. Jobs, family, friend's, education etc...... But it's so much better than turning up dead or missing. There is hope for you. Do your best to finally take care of you and get out while you can.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and I really hope it helps someone in a similar situation. Be careful and be smart and good luck to any of you who might now feel the strength to pick yourself up and leave, knowing there are answers for you. You are not as trapped or as alone as you might think.
Good luck !
Good Post. Thanks. You are very brave!!
1. COPS. 2. ATTORNEYS. 3. PASTORS
The above three professions have the highest percentage of abusers.
CALL: NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
1 - 800 - 799 - 7233 (SAFE)
Every nine seconds a woman is battered in the United States. More shocking is that 50 percent of all women murdered in the U.S. are killed by a spouse or an acquaintance. Dr. Phil goes inside a story that has captured national attention for over a month. In this ripped-from-the-headlines show he delves into the events surrounding the disappearance of 23-year old Stacy Peterson, mother of two, and wife of Drew Peterson. Attorney Lisa Bloom, and Drew’s former fiancée, Kyle Piry, weigh in on this mysterious case. Is Drew involved in his fourth wife's disappearance, or did his wife really leave him for another man, as he claims? Then, meet another couple in crisis. Amanda says she lives in fear of her husband, Chris. She says he abuses her and she worries one day he will go too far, but she stays in the marriage anyway. Amanda's mother, Debby, thinks her daughter is living in denial and fears she will end up like Laci Peterson. Chris admits to being abusive but wants to try and salvage the relationship. You won't believe Chris' mother, Cheryl’s, explanation for his behavior! And, Kim Gandy, the president of the National Organization for Women joins Dr. Phil with some startling domestic violence statistics and teaches victims how to develop an escape plan. If you live in fear of your spouse, this show just might save your life. Join the discussion.
y of a woman who isn't afraid of him! Thanks, Gramatimes8
