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Topic : 12/12 Christmas Chaos

Number of Replies: 144
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Created on : Thursday, December 06, 2007, 03:13:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
'Tis the season to be jolly, but some households are filled with more coal than candy. First up, Jose thinks Christmas is too commercialized and hates Christmas trees, lights and holiday parties. His wife, Tammy, says he’s just a cheapskate, and says one year he gave her a stuffed animal that he found in the dumpster! Can Dr. Phil get Jose to change his “bah humbug” ways? Then, since Gary's mother died, he tries to bring his father, Albert, and siblings together, but says gossip and jealousy keep them apart. His sisters, Wrajean and Cheryl, complain that Albert idolizes Gary’s wife and treats her better than his own daughters. The last time the family got together for the holidays was in 2002. Can they gather ‘round the Christmas tree this year? And, for the fourth straight year, Dr. Phil and Robin host Christmas in Washington to help celebrate the true holiday spirit! See special performances by R&B superstar Ne-Yo, country crooner Alan Jackson, pop star Katherine McPhee and High School Musical’s Vanessa Hudgens'. Christmas in Washington airs Wednesday, December 12 at 10 p.m. EST/PST exclusively on TNT! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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December 12, 2007, 11:17 am CST

the quote goes....

Quote From: derevna33

   I'm not too keen about arguing about biblical practices and then insisting upon ruining everyone else's fun.  I agree that trees and holly and what not is't strictly Christian per se--but it's a lot of fun.  So is Santa Claus and gifts and a really good dinner.

   How does that quote go that I am thinking of?  "Whenever four or more of you are gathered . . ."  I can't recall the the rest

 

In Matthew 18:19 Jesus says:   

    Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

 
December 12, 2007, 11:48 am CST

Thanks 4 peace this Christmas

Quote From: flthomcat

My heart breaks for you, but I also have to wonder how honest you are being with yourself. As Dr. Phil would say, you seem to be the "common denominator" in all of this. If everyone is angry with you or simply not speaking to you, you have to have something to do with it.

 

REGARDLESS, it's not about blame. It's about forgiveness. This is what Jesus' birth is all about. He died so our sins would be forgiven. GIVE YOURSELF A GIFT....call or write or e-mail each person you feel has wronged you. APOLOGIZE TO THEM for whatever you feel they think you did to wrong them. Ask for forgiveness and do NOT mention their mistakes or sins or problems, etc. Concentrate of asking for forgiveness and bearing your soul to them.

 

Some may very well never like your or want to speak with you. You can't control them. You can only control you and change you! Once you have shared your sins and asked for forgiveness, there is nothing left to do. God will take care of the rest. Some of your family members/friends will accept your apology and welcome you back into the fold. Do not hold a grudge against those who do not. They may not be able to handle forgiveness or they may not be able to admit their own mistakes.

 

I forgave a man who, for 18 years, verbally abused me (along w/ my mother and sister). It took me almost 30 years to learn to forgive him (the women in my church group helped me). I forgave my dad for MY SAKE, not his (and for Christ). Leaving the pain behind was gradual, but within 3 years I was free of the pain and the anger and the frustration. My father and I were once again daughter and father. He died this past February with me by his side. I have no regrets. He made mistakes as a father (horrible mistakes) but he was a fallible human who had his reasons (his own parents were abusive). What happened is in our past. And now I am at peace, knowing I loved my father when he died and I did not allow him to die alone.

 

You can do this....you can forgive, ask for forgiveness (EVEN if you are not the only one in the wrong!) and you can make your life 100% better. Old baggage is what ruins new relationships; do NOT get invovled with any man before you lose the old baggage, please.

 

God bless you. And as the other poster stated, if you are going to be alone this holiday season, share your love and your talent and your muscle with people at a food pantry or a charity that provides meals to the homeless. YOu will feel 100% better being surrounded by those who are in worst circumstance than you are AND you will have learned the TRUE MEANING of CHRISTMAS! Good luck and do trust God.

 

 

Thank you and God Bless you an your's this holiday season. Yes I do take responsibility. What I have to do with it is the big question. I stand for myself. I feel that is why I am by myself. I will live with that. I do also volunteer for the homeless, they are a cause i have been working on for years. I just wanted to say I love your letter, lots to think about. I always do think, Look in that mirror and ask myself an go deep within for the answers. Common Denominator?  God has put me here for a reason. But maybe not a life time with my family. I must get on with my life. We are really never alone really. I know most have it worse than I. I am a survivor of many things which make the common denominator among us children an parents as to what happened in our young lives. Forgive, that I have, forget is another matter when you are on the outside of it all looking in. . God Bless

 
December 12, 2007, 11:56 am CST

Christmas Angel here

Quote From: victoriadawnn

This family makes me feel so sad because they have no clue just how lucky they are to have each other. My only child went to prison in 1999 just after turning 18 for being in the wrong place at the wrong time for the wrong reason and in April of 2000 my husband of 22 years passed away and all I could do was watch it all happen so now it is just me and my cat . My mother has been gone for 28 years, my father remarried and "forgot" he had the first family. My father has never in my entire life bought a present, card or phone call to either myself or my daughter. I do have 2 brothers(I think). The oldest I have seen only twice in 35 years and in 2006 he wrote a very hurtful letter to me and asked me not to contact him again and the youngest, well, not sure where he is. I am their only sister and it seems they have all forgotten who cooked, cleaned and washed for them because my mother was always "sick". Enough dirty laundry. So here it is Christmas and I just adopt kids and feed a couple of families sadly not my own. I know I am not the only person alone for the Holidays and all of us know how hard it is. I would love to have what they dont have enough brains to be thankful for. Get a grip folks and enjoy, love and be grateful for what you have now-it may change tomorrow. I would now like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and please put it all aside and enjoy just being together as a family this year, you may not get a next year. Peace and Love
God Bless you. I am close to your situation, and I love how you put it. I always had other kids adopted them for a day a week whatever it took, whatever they needed I was there. I also had 5 kids left when vice versa my Mother left, but father does not talk to this day for 25 years now. Peace and Love to you and have yourself a Merry Little Christmas this year.
 
December 12, 2007, 12:04 pm CST

A promise I will take and hope for.

Quote From: fromthesquare

I promise you that it will get better.  It is probably the divorce that has you down.  Holidays are difficult after a death or a divorce.  I am certain you will patch things up with your family.  Maybe you need to be the hero that Dr. Phil is always referring to!

 

Just as an aside and not to be argumentative-- Your baby niece did NOT give your sister a staph infection.  By changing the baby on the same bed that your recuperating sister slept in she risked giving the baby the staph infection.  Staph, unfortunately, is not so uncommon after surgery and it does not come from babies.

 

I hope that you have a holiday miracle this year!  Find peace with yourself.  It is the season of peace.

Thank you stranger, My eyes can barely see the page but THANK YOU for giving me hope, making me think, all of you. I love you wish for a holiday miracle. To find peace within myself. Gosh, Have a wonderful Christmas yourself. Thanks for your encouraging words. Happy Holidays to you an yours this year to.
 
December 12, 2007, 12:35 pm CST

xmas

i also dont like christmas.but i live a lone and dont have anything.my christmas wish would be to meet dr.phil and robin and thee only thing i want for christmas is a dog.but about this family i think its sad that he hates christmas because he has a family to share christmas with i dont.i also want to wish everybody a merry christmas
 
December 12, 2007, 12:37 pm CST

Bah Humbug?

In defense of Jose, I do have to say that to some extent he is right.  The Druids celebrated winter and another year of a successful harvest with dancing, music, and wine.  Being pagans, the druids worshiped Mother Earth.  When North America was discovered and settled, Europeans came here in droves and brought their pagan holidays with them.  The Puritans being who they were tried to squelch the debauchery of days of drinking, loose women, and dancing by making the winter holiday illegal which obviously didn't work.  So they took notice of decorations used for the winter solstice and tied religious significance to them.  The wreath took on the crown of thorns and the circle of Christ, the tree represented life and the Holy Trinity, candy canes were curved like that of a shepherds staff and the red and white stripes represent the 39 lashes, and the angel on the top of the tree represents Gabriel.  Today, we in the United States celebrate Christmas that is unique to us, and is solely ours. 
 
December 12, 2007, 1:16 pm CST

I know how Tammy feels!

My ex used to like to go dumpster diving too. Anything for his beloved family. Yet, when it came to himself, there was no amount too much to spend on what he wanted. Guys like that are just plain creeps.Their actions scream how much their family really means to them.I am SO HAPPY to be rid of Mr. Wonderful and the garbage that came with him. I really pity this woman
 
December 12, 2007, 1:18 pm CST

God helps those who help themselves.

My husband never knows what to get me for Christmas and he HATES shopping.  So I buy myself presents and he will wrap it and put it under the tree.  It just isn't worth fighting over.  I love him.  He just has no imagination when it comes to gifts.  So this way he don't have to stress out when something comes up that requires him to give me a gift.  It is taken care of and everybody is happy.  We would have a knock down drag out fight if he gave me something from a dumster.  That guy is a jerk.  If he really was against Christmas, he wouldn't accept presents either!
 
December 12, 2007, 1:29 pm CST

Who Cares?

Quote From: unionbabe

In defense of Jose, I do have to say that to some extent he is right.  The Druids celebrated winter and another year of a successful harvest with dancing, music, and wine.  Being pagans, the druids worshiped Mother Earth.  When North America was discovered and settled, Europeans came here in droves and brought their pagan holidays with them.  The Puritans being who they were tried to squelch the debauchery of days of drinking, loose women, and dancing by making the winter holiday illegal which obviously didn't work.  So they took notice of decorations used for the winter solstice and tied religious significance to them.  The wreath took on the crown of thorns and the circle of Christ, the tree represented life and the Holy Trinity, candy canes were curved like that of a shepherds staff and the red and white stripes represent the 39 lashes, and the angel on the top of the tree represents Gabriel.  Today, we in the United States celebrate Christmas that is unique to us, and is solely ours. 

I remember reading about a little boy who was a foreign adoption.  The orphanage had no idea what the child's birthday was so the physician decided roughly how old he was and the adoptive family picked a birthday.  The idea was to honor the birth of their child. 

 

I wish the Ebenezer's on this board would quit pointing out that it is not the actual birthday of Christ.  On this day my family has a birthday cake and we sing to the baby Jesus.  It is the day set aside to honor him.  It is better than ignoring his birth! 

 
December 12, 2007, 1:43 pm CST

There's a lesson in this, Believe me

It took me a long time to learn this lesson, Jose, You said you don't have the money to buy extravagant gifts - - first of all, you don't have to buy EXTRAVAGANT gifts but $17.95, come on. If you could look at it this way, I think you would feel differently.  You have what you have because God gave it to you and his resources are unlimited - he has more.  If you would be a little more generous with what you have and trust God to provide your needs, God would bless you with more.  You  wouldn't have to worry about having the money to pay your bills.  You can't outgive God.  Now I understand that God expects us to be wise with what he has given us, but God knows your heart and if your heart is in the right place, God will take care of the rest.

 
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