Quote From: yoshiyoshiI agree. It seems to be just the latest issue parents can martyr themselves over. Talk about how they suffer so much having a child with Autism, while they let their child suffer. Or worse, force dangerous "cures" on them like Chelation therapy, which has been known to severly malnutrition people. All in hopes to get rid of supposed bad metals, that might not even be there in the first place.
Alot of people I talk to on the Asperger's Syndrome bulliten boards, I have Asperger's Syndrome. They say people like to only see Autistic/ Aspie children, they don't want to hear about them as adults. It's like once someone who's Autistic or who has Asperger's Syndrome become an adult, they don't exsist anymore. There is no support for them.
In order for there to be shows about Autistic children being ok, there needs to be a change in our society. From parents who cry out, "YOU'RE NOT A PARENT, SO YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" To parents who say, "You don't know how HARRRRDDDD it is, how much I SUFFER!" They don't say this out loud, but they certainly speak in a way that states these feelings.
We need to start being a society that hold parents up as being responsible as parents. We need to stop feeding what these martyr parents what to hear to them. They have to realize what is important is their child. It's too much for them? Perhaps they shouldn't have been parents then. Don't want to have to hear that? Too bad. While you're going off whinging about how you can't have your little social life anymore, or how you have to spend 24/7 taking care of an Autistic child instead of doing what YOU want to do. Your child is suffering.
The answer isn't to cure them so they can be more self-sufficent, so you can continue with your fantasy of being a parent and having time to do things for yourself, you need to be a better parent. That is the answer. There should be no more of these pity party for parents who didn't realize what they were getting themselves into. Nobody seems to take having a child seriously anymore. It seems when people have children who are "imperfect", they just see it as an excuse to whine about it to anyone within ear-shot instead of doing something about it.
Like the woman on the show, her son did say horrific things to her. However, it's very immature to go on a show and cry over something her child said, when he might not even be able to control saying it. How about talking about helping your child, going to a psychatrist? Doing something. I'm sorry, taking things personally like that from a child who clearly is sick and doesn't realize they're being harmful, is like a over-sensitive child who takes everything personally. The world doesn't revolve around her, she needs to get help for her son. Not go on Dr. Phil and cry cause she didn't realize she'd have to put in extra effort when she had children. Nothing will be accomplished until she realizes her son needs help, and that her wasting time feeling sorry for HERSELF, only is a hinderance to his healing.
You know, maybe I'm nuts. I think it's ok to say you know what, maybe I wouldn't be fit to be a parent. Ok, maybe handling children would be overwhelming for me. Fine, it isn't imperative that you grow up and have children. Perhaps if more people had this view, there would be less children suffering a life in a house where the focus isn't on them, because their parents didn't consider the responsibility of having them.
Maybe there would be more Autistic children, being able to be born to parents who would truely love them and take their time to help them, rather than sit and stew in their own greif over not having the perfect child whom they could leave to take care of themselves at home, while they went off having a life of their own. It seems people really don't understand the concept of, your children are your life, these days.
I know I will be flamed for this message, I'm certain I'll get a bunch of "You're not a parent, you don't knoooooowwwwww" responses. I know what becomes of children who are born to parents, who think raising them is a part-time job. This might not even be an issue, if we lived in a society that said if you're a parent your life should be dedicated to your children. Instead of treating all parents, like high schoolers with little to no sense of responsibility. People who can't tell wether they want to hold a job, or have their social life and go to the prom with their friends. When you have a child, you have to be prepared for anything. Shows like this one about Autism, just feed into the pity party, for parents who were surprised and disheartened, they weren't born a perfect child.
It's not about the parents, it's about the children. Parents, really you need to get over yourselves and focus on helping these Autistic children. Helping them, not trying to cure them, not trying to make them what YOU want from them. Accept them as THEY ARE, and work with them. Maybe you will have to spend the rest of your life taking care of them, maybe that's the hand you've been delt. If you are a real parent, you'd be thankful for the gift to be able to care for someone, who will have unconditional love for you. Instead of mourning the life you could've had if you didn't have children.
First of all, this isn't about "fixing" our children or playing the martyr. There are parents like that out there, but the majority are just trying to go from day to day helping their kids. And no, unless you are a parent of a child on the spectrum your opinion means less than nothing. You are of course entitled to it, but it is worthless to those of us who have both "been there" and done that". This is about improving the quality of our kid's lives. It's easy for high functioning Aspies who are able to speak and live life to criticize ABA and parent's attempts to "fix their children". But the truth of the matter is that parents won't be on this earth forever and if we don't give them some self help skills, where will they be in the future? Our kids bite themselves and others. Many don't speak. Some engage in stereotypical behavior that is weird and alienates them from their peers. In a perfect world should we have to change our kids to accomodate their potential social lives? No. However this is the reality we live in and I will die trying to help my son become as accepted as possible. Children become teenagers and teenagers are often cruel. People will be more likely to accept my son if he is a little off, but not completely weird and off the wall. I cannot accept the fact that my son may never lead a full life that will allow him to more fully integrate himself into the world. I am thankful for my son and if given the choice to do it all over, I absolutely would. My child has made me a better person. But I have grieved. It is cruel and proof of your ignorance that you believe mourning is a waste of time. Should you spend a lot of time mourning? Absolutely not. That helps no one and is incredibly selfish. But don't post messages that showcase the fact that you are blatantly unaware and woefully ignorant of the the facts that involve raising a low functioning child. Not everyone uses intervention like chelation and the GF/CF diet. Many use traditional therapies that are non invasive. Perhaps you should speak to those affected by autism and you will figure out that the "spectrum" applies not only to the children, but to their parents as well.
The ultimate test for any parent is loving a child who is difficult, sometimes frightening, to the whole family. It’s a test parents of autistic children are put to daily. Ten-year-old Luz throws screaming tantrums, barks like a dog, and tells his mother, Sara, that he plans to kill her. Sara has long felt despair at Luz’s out-of-control behavior, yet she was shocked when a doctor diagnosed him with autism. Go inside the daily life of this family, see Luz’s wild behavior caught on tape, and learn why Sara’s main coping mechanisms might be putting her at risk. Then, a member of Dr. Phil’s own staff achieved miraculous results for her autistic child and her whole family through an intense program. Could a similar treatment work for Luz? Plus, what causes autism? Several recent media reports and high-profile parents such as Jenny McCarthy have pointed the finger at vaccinations. Is there a link? Child care expert and pediatrician Dr. Jim Sears weighs in. Then, imagine having a crime committed against you, but not having a voice or any way to tell someone you’d been wronged. Some mothers in Las Vegas say that’s exactly what happened when a teacher allegedly abused their autistic children, and they’ve filed a lawsuit. Hear them recount the painful details of the alleged abuse. What are their chances of winning in court? Share your thoughts here.
