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Topic : 12/19 Parents’ Ultimate Test: Dealing with Autism

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Created on : Thursday, December 13, 2007, 05:12:39 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The ultimate test for any parent is loving a child who is difficult, sometimes frightening, to the whole family. It’s a test parents of autistic children are put to daily. Ten-year-old Luz throws screaming tantrums, barks like a dog, and tells his mother, Sara, that he plans to kill her. Sara has long felt despair at Luz’s out-of-control behavior, yet she was shocked when a doctor diagnosed him with autism. Go inside the daily life of this family, see Luz’s wild behavior caught on tape, and learn why Sara’s main coping mechanisms might be putting her at risk. Then, a member of Dr. Phil’s own staff achieved miraculous results for her autistic child and her whole family through an intense program. Could a similar treatment work for Luz? Plus, what causes autism? Several recent media reports and high-profile parents such as Jenny McCarthy have pointed the finger at vaccinations. Is there a link? Child care expert and pediatrician Dr. Jim Sears weighs in. Then, imagine having a crime committed against you, but not having a voice or any way to tell someone you’d been wronged. Some mothers in Las Vegas say that’s exactly what happened when a teacher allegedly abused their autistic children, and they’ve filed a lawsuit. Hear them recount the painful details of the alleged abuse. What are their chances of winning in court? Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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December 20, 2007, 8:37 am CST

12/19 Parents’ Ultimate Test: Dealing with Autism

Quote From: lsimpy

 I WATCHED YOUR SHOW TODAY AND I CRIED.. I HAVE A SOON TO BE 11 YR OLD THAT HAS AUTISM AND LIVING WITH A CHILD WITH AUTISM IS VERY HARD. HE SCREAMS AND YELLS AND AND WISHES WE WERE DEAD.. BUT I KNIOW IN MY HEART HE CAN'T HELP HIMSELF.. HE TURNS UP THE T.V HITS AND FIGHTS WITH HIS SISTER AND OLDER BROTHER. AND WITH HIS NEPHEW AND NO-ONE UNDERSTANDS UNLESS THE ARE GOING THREW SOMETHING LIKE THIS. AND THE AREA I LIVE IN THERE IS NO HELP OUT THERE UNLESS I TRAVEL A LONG WAY.. I JUST WISH THERE WAS MORE HELP.SO I CAN HELP MY SON..HE ALSO HAS ODD. OCC. NON-VERBAL. AND SENCERY DISORDER.. I WISH THERE WAS SOMEPLACE I CAN GO FOR HELP WITH MY SON AND FOR MY FAMILY.. THANK YOU VERY MUCH

I HOPE YOU HAVE MORE SHOW ABOUT AUTISM SO PEOPLE CAN UNDERSTAND..

I ALSO AGREE THAT YOU DO LOSE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND YOU CAN'T FIND A BABYSITTER FOR CHILDREN FOR THIS PROBLE.. BUT IN THE OTHER HAND HE IS A VERY LOVING SON.. THANK YOU LINDA

Linda, I feel for you.  My son is 18 with autism.  I don't know where you live but what kind of help have you received from the school district? What medications have you tried?  I know exactly how exhausting it is living with a child with autism.  So much of their behaviors come from a lack of being able to communicate in a reasonable way. You must start from square one with children with autism.  Does your son have a PECS system?  Do you know what that is?  Does your school district?  You have rights under IDEA .  Go online and look them up by googling IDEA laws.  Know that you are not alone.  there are thousands of us out here dealing with what you are dealing with.  There is tons of online support also.  CAFEMOM.com has a wonderful support group online dealing with autism.  Go to it and find support there from other moms.  God Bless.

Lori

 
December 20, 2007, 8:53 am CST

PLEASE HELP

MY 21 MONTH-OLD GRANDSON HAS BEEN SHOWING SIGNS OF WHAT COULD BE AUTISM...HE KNOWS ONLY FOUR OR FIVE WORDS AND DOES NOT SAY THOSE WORDS CLEARLY NOR REGULARLY...HE SEEMS TO BE EXCEPTIONALLY SMART BUT DOES NOT COMMUNICATE WELL..MY DAUGHTER IS HAVING HIS HEARING CHECKED WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF TUBES BEING PUT IN IN THE SPRING....HIS RECENT HEARING TEST SHOWED HEARING LOSS POSSIBLY DUE TO FLUID BEHIND THE EAR DRUMS... HE IS SHOWING SOME SIGNS OF OCD AS WELL AS FLAPPING AND SOME MILD SPINNING....

 

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT TO DO WITH GETTING HIM DIAGNOSED.

 

THANK YOU

 
December 20, 2007, 9:30 am CST

12/19 Parents’ Ultimate Test: Dealing with Autism

Quote From: nuttycookoo

  I loved the show today it was nice to see people like myself dealing with autism, not some rich celebrities telling me how bad they have it. I do not like to see anyone dealing with autism and especially the child I wish I could change places with my son.  He is 7 yrs old and very sweet but he does have his meltdowns.  He has an older sister 14 and a younger sister who is 2 yrs old.  We have TWO INSURANCES ON MY SON BUT NEITHER ONE OF THEM COVER AUTISM NEUROLOGICAL DISEASES THEY CALL IT...................................  I can't understand what's going on today I know that 99% of autistic children belong to the blue collar working class and the only resources we have is welfare insurance since the TWO THAT ARE BEING PAID FOR DO NOT COVER AUTISM. It is very upsetting, I just wanted to speak my mind a little and I hope Dr.Phil can cover this problem someday and thank you very much for the show today with everyday average people dealing with this matter.

I work for a health insurance company as a nurse in medical management , and I know it is possible to fight against a denial of services. You have to be very persistant and go through multiple levels of denials and be preapred for a long hard battle. It helps it you involve your local newspaper because many health insurance companies do not want bad publicity.  Health insurance companies know they have a ethical problem with not covering autism but it is a business decision to deny services. Good luck.

 
December 20, 2007, 9:31 am CST

My Daughter with Autism is my Pride and Joy!

Quote From: brandia

I also was very concerned when I read the title & lead-in... I have Aspergers also & I am hoping that that part of the Autism spectrum is also covered. It's very hard for me to tell people I have autism. When I do they just look at me like "Duh" I have to explain that there's different levels & spectrums of the disorder & that NO I'm not the rainman I don't have to get my underwaer on thursday from K-Mart but I do have some idiosyncrasies that result from this. Autism is a genetic disease, it runs rampant through our family. I am just learning about a diagnosis that was made on me over 38 yrs ago, I had the luxury of being born & raised in a military home for the first few years, where a great deal of the doctors were from Europe & already had knowledge of this disorder (Aspperger's), but my mother being young couldn't handle the diagnosis & dumped me off with my grandmother & never told anyone til i started to do my family history. I found a bunch of cousins on the internet & we were in our group chatting back & forth & one of the cousins started getting irritated with me then another told her to shut up & leave me alone cause she knew I had autism, well i got mighty mad at the cousin who was trying to defend me, but she started to explain everything that I do which is exactly like about 30 people in our close immediate family so I started to research it myself, when I told me mom I thought that's what was wrong with me she exploded on me & said she didn't ever want to hear that s**t again & I was just fine & didn't act like the other retards in our family. So she knew my whole life but I had to wait to find out. I was in MENSA when I was little, I can not memorize a phone book, can't even remember where I put my keys, I rock when I get upset, I don't like being touched, but I have to touch everything, can only wear certain clothes, I talk funny sometimes get some things mixed up to the point I stutter when i'm trying to say things. I have 4 children 3 verified with Aspergers which I probably wouldn't have had had I known about my family history but they are wonderful functioning incredible human beings. I was very violent as a child/teen because I was beaten into coma's by an angry step-father but now I'm doing fine, I've never been violent with my children. I will continue to "adjust my underwaer in public" because that's who I am. I've learned to deal with it, & now that I know what my problem is I can deal with all of it easier. I don't take meds but I probably should... my meltdowns are less frequent now that I know what's causing them but I have the luxury of having a wonderful husband who shields me from alot of lifes irritants, if they could replicate him we'd have all the problems for autistic women solved but we can't. I have found people to be very curious & very understanding when I tell them, mostly they want to know what "it feels like", which is good for me because it pulls the focus off of whatever was stressing me out so bad that I had to declare it to a complete stranger, & gives me time to reload my guns so to speak. I thin the new Asperger's diagnosis is the replacing the ADD/ADHD diagnosis & those 2 things are very different. Which is very dangerous. We live in Washington who has an autism center & they diagnosed me as an adult & my teens & one adult child. They have support groups for us, for parents & a great website. Again I hope that all of the spectrums of this disorder are covered here bacasue I don't want someone running from me because they think I'm going to pound on them. Have you ever had your daughter think of volunteering with a school program for autistic kids? No one else is going to understand them like we do! There was a lady at the store with 3 autistic kids, 2 were very severe, she was freaking out & the kids were running around flapping there arms screaming & I found the middle point of the worst one, sat down in the middle of the floor in his circle & waited for him to run by & made an airplane noise finally he stopped & sat next to me & started making the same noise, then I stood up went to his mom's cart held on to it, the other 2 fell in line & we walked out to her car. She asked me how I did that, I told her I was autistic too & that he obviously got overloaded & was trying to drown out the sound of all the people but especially the cash register & that he just needed another focal point. She said it was okay for me to do it but she didn't think she could Huh? I said lady if your kid was bleeding in public you would put a band-aid on him & give him the care that he needed wouldn't you she said of course well this is him bleeding. Her & I are friends now she has my number & isn't afraid to use it! LOL! Also have your daughter try janitorial work, I do that when my health permits, no people around I do what I have to, & it's consistent work
My youngest child has Autism.  She is now 19.  She lives in an apartment with 24-hour support staff.  She has lived independently for a year and a half, and although it was the hardest thing I have ever done, it was the best choice for her.  She would never have learned to live independently if she continued to live with me because I would enable her every move.  I love her too much to watch her struggle, so I tend to spoil her!  She has no other family support in her life, as her Dad, brother and sisters do not bother with her beyond an occasional phone call, and all other relatives live far away.  She needed to have the opportunity to develop her own lifestyle and friends, and now she has that.  She is still working on her High School Degree, and she has a job (with a job coach to assist her).  I talk to her daily, by email and phone, and I still spoil her at my house on the weekends, but she has learned to do so much for herself and I am so very proud of her accomplishments.  And although I still cry the whole way home every time I leave her, the most important thing is that I know that she will continue to prosper and succeed long after I'm gone!!
 
December 20, 2007, 9:44 am CST

confused mom

Well I have a two year old that was just diagnosed with autism. I am hopeful he can get worked with and over come the odds. But after watching the boy on your show it made me very worried for my son. He is definetly not an angry boy but I hope in the future this stays true
 
December 20, 2007, 10:54 am CST

YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!

Quote From: wackojacko

Even though I didn't watch the program "Parents' Ultimate Test: Dealing With Autism" yet, I believe its going to educate the general public parents with Autism go through in raising their Autistic children on a regular basis.

 

However, its sad that Dr. Phil doesn't have a multi-part series on this subject, not one part.  Some series should reflect struggles and challenges Autistic adults experience in achieving full participation in society, proper Autism resources for parents instead of learning about this disability through "Hollywood" negative stereotypes, getting Autistic children to participate in their community, proper education and skills training, etc.

 

I also feel adults living with the actual disability, particularly myself, should participate in future Dr. Phil shows on Autism as well so they can discuss their experiences and challenges living with this disability.  From my experiences living with this disability, the best experts on Autism are not Psychologists and Psychiatrists, not meant to offend Dr. Phil and his hard work on this subject, but actualy Autism sufferers.

 

Dr. Phil should also have a Public Speakers bureau where individuals living with Autism overcoming great odds can talk about their experience to the general public, which hopefully eliminate any negative perceptions and stereotypes about this disability. 

 

That way, people will think twice before relying on Hollywood to learn about this disability, and  force them to learn the true facts about it.

 

In the meantime, Dr. Phil should have more Autism related topics on future shows, focusing on Autistic Children and Adults, and have actual sufferers participate.  I'm willing to do so.

 I AM A MOTHER OF A BEAUTIFUL 21 YR. OLD SON WHO HAS AUTISM. AND I SO AGREE THAT DR. PHIL NEEDS TO DO A SERIES ABOUT AUTISM. I KNOW ALOT OF KIDS WHO HAVE AUTISM AND HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY OF THEM BE AS VIOLENT AS THE BOY ON THE SHOW. EVERY ONE WITH AUTISM IS DIFFERENT, AND I THINK THERE SHOULD BE MORE ABOUT THIS FACT. MY SON HAS ALWAYS BEEN LOVING AND SHOWED EMOTIONS. HE'S ALWAYS TALKED. HE LOVES TV, MOVIES AND MUSIC. HE KNOWS CALENDARS AND IS A GREAT JOY IN MY LIFE. IN FACT I THINK I HAVE LEARNED AS MUCH ABOUT LIFE AS I'VE TRYED TO TEACH HIM. THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE INFORMATION ABOUT ADULTS WHO HAVE AUTISM. ALL THE 1 IN 150 KIDS WILL GET OLDER!
 
December 20, 2007, 11:02 am CST

Joshua

Joshua started out not wantng to rest feed and it seeed to hrt his head. He as been different form the start. Then when he was 2  started banging his head and not saying a word. So I got him to spin in circles which brought back some of his speach. He is now 9 an like most boys likes super man and spider man, but Joshua thinks hecan really fly, over the banister at the top of the stairs. Well now Joshua is in 6 months child and family care because they think he is abused. Joshua is 5'3" I am 5'5" if he were to throw a tantrum like he used to, there would be noting left of me. And being on top of his every move is like being a animal being hunted down. You are always "on". It was exhausting. I was told if I give him up to care they can get resorces for him. More to the point Autism needs to be classified as a mental disorder not a social one. The resorces would be there, most successu treatments are intense and expesnsive.

I can't say I can't say I am happy Josua is in care but I don't have to be switched on 24/7. Where is he? What is he doing? What is he putting in is mouth?

It was a 2 year figh just to get him into school. OH and Joshua used to bite. Especially him self so that is we also got accused of abuse.

We love our children it is the rest of the world we have to fight with just to get them what the need to succeed in life.

God bless you Phil for showingthe general public what we go through.

Tracy Mears

Joshua's mom

 
December 20, 2007, 11:14 am CST

12/19 Parents’ Ultimate Test: Dealing with Autism

Quote From: grammajonezmi

MY 21 MONTH-OLD GRANDSON HAS BEEN SHOWING SIGNS OF WHAT COULD BE AUTISM...HE KNOWS ONLY FOUR OR FIVE WORDS AND DOES NOT SAY THOSE WORDS CLEARLY NOR REGULARLY...HE SEEMS TO BE EXCEPTIONALLY SMART BUT DOES NOT COMMUNICATE WELL..MY DAUGHTER IS HAVING HIS HEARING CHECKED WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF TUBES BEING PUT IN IN THE SPRING....HIS RECENT HEARING TEST SHOWED HEARING LOSS POSSIBLY DUE TO FLUID BEHIND THE EAR DRUMS... HE IS SHOWING SOME SIGNS OF OCD AS WELL AS FLAPPING AND SOME MILD SPINNING....

 

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT TO DO WITH GETTING HIM DIAGNOSED.

 

THANK YOU

I just read your story, I have a 5 year old boy that has Autism and we just got him diagnosed last year at this time, and all i can say is keep fighting to get him the help that he needs. 
 
December 20, 2007, 11:19 am CST

in the right direction

Quote From: grammajonezmi

MY 21 MONTH-OLD GRANDSON HAS BEEN SHOWING SIGNS OF WHAT COULD BE AUTISM...HE KNOWS ONLY FOUR OR FIVE WORDS AND DOES NOT SAY THOSE WORDS CLEARLY NOR REGULARLY...HE SEEMS TO BE EXCEPTIONALLY SMART BUT DOES NOT COMMUNICATE WELL..MY DAUGHTER IS HAVING HIS HEARING CHECKED WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF TUBES BEING PUT IN IN THE SPRING....HIS RECENT HEARING TEST SHOWED HEARING LOSS POSSIBLY DUE TO FLUID BEHIND THE EAR DRUMS... HE IS SHOWING SOME SIGNS OF OCD AS WELL AS FLAPPING AND SOME MILD SPINNING....

 

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT TO DO WITH GETTING HIM DIAGNOSED.

 

THANK YOU

Your daughter is going in the right direction.  Find a neurological pediatrician in her area.  Make an appointment.  Tell them what you suspect.  Autism can only be diagnosed through observation of behaviors or lack of. It is possible that your grandson has some hearing loss and that is the reasons behind his behaviors.  Or it is possible he does have autism.  A neuroligist can diagnos  Good luck.
 
December 20, 2007, 11:49 am CST

I will try anyhthing

I just wanted to let the readers know I have read Jenny McCarthy's book "Louder Than Words."  I would recommend it to everyone.  From what I've read most do not agree with her about the immunizations and that's fine, everyone is entitled to their oponion.  She has alot of good websites in her book that I have looked at and have helped me understand more of what I did not know.

 

All I know is I am going to try EVERYTHING out there to see if it helps my son.  My son is verbal but has meltdowns, and flapping and looks at most things closely out of the corner of his eye.  He has recently started to have food allergies.  I took away oatmeal and he hasn't had a rash, but who knows until he is tested for food allergies what else he is allergic to.  My son only eats certain foods: chicken nuggets, spaghetti o's, bread, cereal.  I am going to start implementing the diet by first taking away dairy.

 

Here are a few websites:

tacanow.org/booklist.htm

tacanow.org/weblinks.htm

unlimitedbrain.com

tacanow.org/legal.htm

www.neuroimmunedr.com

tacanow.org/gfcf_diet_10_weeks.htm

Kirkmanlabs.com

unlockingautism.org--click on P2P

nationalautism.org

generationrescue.org

 

If you are worried about vaccines her is a suggestion

What Your Doctor May Not Tell You about Childrens Vaccinations, by Stephanie Cave and Deborah Mitchell

 
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